Title: Skinny Jokes

By: Savage Valentine

Summary: Gert's upset; Chase wants to cheer her up.

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Old Lace laid her head on the floor, large red eyes gazing up at her mistress who, currently, was in a melancholy mood and feeling somewhat restless and irritated at the same time. Unfortunately, no commands were being sent, and the dinosaur couldn't decide how to act on these feelings, so waited, secretly hoping (as much as a dinosaur knew how to hope; her mistress had only felt that emotion once, right before she came to retrieve Old Lace from her prison several weeks ago) that her mistress's mate would be able to figure out a solution.

Gert reached out a hand and scratched Old Lace between the eyes. Old Lace purred contentedly, and her contentedness eased the mistress somewhat.

"Oh girl, what am I going to do?" Gert asked her pet. Old Lace raised her head. Gert felt the answer, not really an action but a feeling of what should be done. She should not hate her parents (they did sacrifice themselves for her and gave her Old Lace), she should try to stop sneaking non-nonfat ice cream, and she should talk to Chase about how she felt.

Gert thought she knew Chase at first. She thought she knew he was a jock, overconfident, dull-witted, and all other stereotypical things a testosterone driven seventeen year-old was. Then they found out about their parents, and for the first time she saw a little depth. Chase wasn't smart like his parents, but they only survived on their own because he knew how to drop off the radar and live underground. And he was the only one of the kids with no real super powers, and he was old enough that he could have just left at any time. But he didn't. He stuck with them, helped them, and drowned so the stone golem wouldn't kill Old Lace. And that, Gert thinks, is the first time she realized something about him.

She wasn't stupid. From day one, Chase only had eyes for Karolina. The superstar. The glow stick alien. Super skinny size-zero model vegan and Vegan blonde with rich talented Emmy-winning parents who couldn't last twenty minutes without Daddy's credit card and still cried more than Molly that their parents were demented psychos-

Old Lace growled, suddenly feeling infuriated.

Oh, who am I trying to kid? Gert thought. She was fallback girl after Karolina rejected Chase's advances. And yeah, she really liked him. Maybe it had something to do with her saving his life, but she really liked him. He called her hot. He kissed her. He found Old Lace when she was trapped and helpless at that stupid boarding school. What did that mean? She was the one with the psychic link! She should have done something!

Old Lace feels, sad, helpless. Her tail droops and she noses her mistress's lap. Her mistress is sad, and Old Lace's gesture fails its purpose. Gert is at a loss, she decides. She desperately has a crush on Chase, but she knows his feelings (if he has any) are only temporary. Karolina will eventually accept him, or he'll go to Nico, but he won't stay with Gert. Brains don't trump perfect hourglass figures in the real world. It's only a matter of time. For now, she can enjoy it while it lasts. She'll enjoy his flattering teases, his lingering lips, what he thinks is a sexy grin when he just looks like an idiot. Live for today. That's a lesson her parents could've stood to learn. The past has already happened, and tomorrow is just a stupid threat.

"Gert?" Chase sneaks up behind her and slips his arms around her shoulders. He presses warm lips against her neck. Old Lace jumps up, feeling ecstatic and anxious at the same time. Her tail swings back and forth quickly, eyes bright. Chase sees Old Lace's reaction and grins.

"Down girl." Her mistress commands. Old Lace kneeled down again.

Chase slid his hands down, playing with the hem of Gert's sweatshirt. His advances were met with rebuke, and Gert gave him a dangerous glare. "Hey, I thought you liked me." He pouted his lower lip. She sighed and turned away from him.

"That doesn't mean you get VIP access."

Chase pulled away and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Gert's voice was sharp. Chase didn't understand the language of woman, but he knew what idea 'nothing' represented. And since Gert wouldn't talk, he'd just have to find a way to cheer her up on his own. He climbed over the back of the couch and awkwardly got into a comfortable position with his right arm around Gert and his face inches from hers.

"Wanna hear a joke?" Out of the corner of her eye she saw his smirk fall to the sincere smile he reserved for only their few private moments together. "How many skinny chicks can you fit in a shower?"

"Jesus, Chase!" She breathed. But, to amuse him, "How many?"

"I don't know. They keep slipping through the drain!" He laughed, and Gert saw the very rare side of Chase she had only seen in private.

Old Lace wagged her tail, closed her eyes, and purred.