'Kay, this is my first fanfic ever and I haven't really written anything with yaoi before either.. So, I hope it isn't that bad. There might be some grammar mistakes, but hey what do you expect form a Swedish, sixteen year old? There might appear a lot of fandom clichés but isn't it what it's all about? Anyhow, hope you enjoy. And please review!

Paring: Suguru x you'll see..

Disclaimer: I DON'T own Gravitation, never will, but that doesn't mean I can't write and dream. ;P

And so the story begins..

When the darkness faded away: Ch 1

I keep having these dreams or daydreams more likely. But still, is messing with my mind and I can't take this for much longer! Everything getting so confusing and I keep spinning faster and faster. I don't seem to be able to stop. I know soon I will fall down and the world will turn black. You can't save me, not when you don't even see me.

So I'm lost, lost in my own mind and everything is growing darker.

I thought love would set me free, but the love I feel.. You'll never know. It is better this way. You can't feel the same way, there's no way. Not when you don't see me, even if we're friends, you don't see me. I could go on lying, while everything growing so dark and I won't be able to stop some day, someday it'll be too late. Too late to say those things I wanted to scream so many times.

You've been there by my side longer then anyone else, then I mean really been there, not as family but as a friend. You're more then a friend for me but to you, I'm just someone you trust enough to not push away. I don't even know when I fell for you, when I started to see you in a different light.

To be honest I never thought you would trust me at all in the beginning, sure you accepted me before anyone else but trust's another thing. I guess you surprised us both. You've told me so many things, things you would never tell anyone else, not even Shuichi-san. I know it's only been a half year since we meet for the first time but sometimes it fells like I've known you forever.

I don't have so many friends; the music just meant so much more for me. I never thought I needed any one else then me and the music. But I need you. Hell, I would give up so much just to be with you.

Sitting in my music room, so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I almost didn't hear the doorbell ringing. Oh well, I guess reality calls. I wonder who it is, since it's almost twelve o'clock in the night, I walk up to the door and open it. I was surprised by who it was standing there.

"Hiro-kun, what are you doing here so late?" I asked. He looked me in the eyes, I could tell that he had been crying 'cause his eyes where all red and swollen. When he didn't answer me, I said, "Come in, do you want some tea?" He just nods and walks in to my apartment, which I live alone in. I moved out from my parent's house sometime ago. Alright, back on track. I told him to wait for me in the living room and went to put on some tea.

When I came back with the tea, Hiro was sitting in the couch. I walked over to sit next to him, giving him one of the cups with tea and says, "You don't have to tell me what's wrong.." Hiro looked at me and asks, "So you notice, ne?"

"Yeah, little hard not to.. But I understand if you don't want to talk about what ever it is." I said, wishing he would trust me enough to tell me but happy that he came to me and not Shuichi-san. I sipped on my tea and then I notice that he's staring at me.

I shifted nervously when I hear him say, "Ayaka broke up with me. I kind of knew she would and why. That's why I need to talk to you." I looked at him stunned, not knowing what to say.

A minute past before I half stuttered and very confused said "Wh-why do you h-haft to talk to me for? Wait, did you just say Ayaka broke up with you?" I look at Hiro and see just a tiny smile on his lips. "Yes, she did.. Can't say I'm surprised and in a way I suppose I'm not that sad either. Maybe it's because I just liked her, not loved her. I realised it a couple of months ago, when I started to see someone else, no don't get me wrong." Hiro said, while I looked shocked that he would even say something like that.

He continued, "When I say see someone, I mean, seeing as in like seeing someone for the first time even if you've known that person for awhile. I realised just a month ago that I've fallen in love with that person. It took me some time to really understand what I was feeling and I guess I was in denial like two weeks before that too." I look at him, totally bewildered and thought that there's no hope for me if he had fallen in love with someone. Why is he telling me this? Oh Gods, I wish he hadn't told me.

Is he trying to make my life more miserable then it already is? Fuck, what am I suppose to do now? Tell him to leave or wait and see? Maybe then I can find out how he loves and at least then I know how I should hate and be jealous of. Hm-mm, tough choices, tough choices..

But before I really had any time to even make a choice or say something. He continued again, "Suguru-kun, are you alright? You look pale." I looked down in my tea, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn't sound dumb or so not like me.

And yet again before I could say anything, I could feel his hand on my forehead. I snatch back and looked at him shocked. "I-I'm f-fine. Honto ni.." I looked up in his eyes, still shocked, and saw how close he was, too close.

I rapid got up and started to pace around in the room, looking at him from time, to time. "Suguru-kun, are you sure you're fine? I can talk to you tomorrow instead if you're tired or don't feel well. Even if I really wanted to tell you tonight, before I changed my mind or chicken out but if you're not feeling well.. Then it's better if you go to bed and get some sleep."

Oh my god, did he just say that in one breath? What should I do? I'm supposed to be his friend, and all he cares for is my health when he's the one with problems. "Hiro-kun, I told you already, I'm fine! And if there's something that you really need to tell me then tell me!" I snap while I kept on pacing.

I looked at Hiro just when he starts to speak, "Uhm, Suguru-kun, could you please sit down? You're kind of making me nervous." I stop, realising that I've been pacing around for a while now and went to sit next to him again. Just a little bit further away then before and when I was suppose to look down in my tea just so I didn't have to look at him, I realise that I've must have put it down meanwhile I was pacing without noticing. I could feel my checks turning slightly pink. I mutter a sorry, still looking down on my hands.

"Eh.. Uhm.. What I wanted to tell you was.. Uhmm.. You see." Okay, now he's the one that is making me nervous. I look up, trying to figure out what the hell he's trying to say.

Nope, as usually, you can't see what he's thinking even if I can see that he's nervous. That's not that hard to figure out, he is kind of stuttering and he won't look at me.

He's just starring at the wall. "What I'm trying to say is.. Ehh.. Well.."

"Hiro-kun, you don't have to say it, whatever it is." I guess that got his attention 'cause at least he's looking at me now. "No, I have to tell you." He looks me in the eyes and I look away, afraid that my eyes would give me away, tell something I'm not sure I want him to know. Before I know what happening, I feel his hand on my cheek, I feel my cheeks burning and before I could pull away, I feel something soft against my lips. 'Whoa, he's kissing me, he's kissing me, he's kissing me..' I freeze, still shocked and before I could close my eyes and kiss him back, he's already gone. "I'm sorry, Suguru-kun. I shouldn't have done that. I just couldn't help myself." I smile a little and I can see it's confusing him. Before he could do or say something stupid, I pull him to me and kiss him. When I started to pull away, he just pulled me closer. A few minutes later I had to pull away from the lack of air.

Staring into his eyes, I feel like something finely gone right in my life. Sure, I'm in a famous band, talented musician; some would even say genius when it comes to music and I haven't even turn seventeen yet! But everyone always compeers me to my cousin, the famous Tohma Seguchi, head of N-G and member of the top-chart Nittle Grasper. Hiro is one of the few that doesn't compeered me with him, he never has. I smile a little when I see Hiro's face, still a little flushed from the kiss and he's slightly panting. So okay, I probably look the same but he's sooo cute! "Suguru-kun, I like you... I like you a lot."

I beamed at him, when I heard him say those words. Even if the kiss kind of already showed that, but hey, how am I to complain? It's not like I have been wishing that this would happen ever since I first saw him. Yeah right, how am I kidding? Of course I have. How hasn't? I mean come on, he's gorgeous! "I like you too." Gods that sounded so lame and sappy! I couldn't come up with anything else to say.

I mean, how often does your crush tell you they like you after they'd kissed you? Well, at least it has never happen to me before! It feels like I've finely stopped spinning and like everything will be perfect. But I know better.. Maybe if we weren't famous, then everything would be just fine. But we are famous and the press follows almost every step we take.

When they finally find out and they will sooner or later, I wonder, what will happen to us then? Are we strong enough to handle it, like Shuichi-san and Yuki-san did? I sigh. Why does love have to be so complicated? Hm-mm, I wonder how everyone in N-G will take this and our fans? I mean, if Hiro-kun and I come out to the world that we're a couple it would mean that all members of Bad Luck are gay or at least bi. I wonder what Tohma-san will say. He won't be happy, of that I'm sure and Shuichi-san will probably be his usually annoying self even if we get along better now. He doesn't give me a headache every day anymore. I'm pretty sure that Sakano-san will have a fit and K-san.. I wonder how he will react; I mean he's a crazy, gun-shooting American. Gods know what he will do. I shudder.

I pull out of my thoughts when I hear Hiro-kun call my name and I notice that he was shaking me. "Huh?" is my, oh so smart answer. He stopped shaking me and said, "Suguru-kun, are you okay? I said your names three times before you answer." "Oh gomenasai, didn't mean to start spacing out." He starts laughing and then he hugs me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I feel his arms tighten around my waist. I yawned. "It's 'kay. You should go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow. 'Kay?" I was about to nod when I found out that I really didn't want him to leave. "Uhm.. Idon'twantyoutoleave." I whispered quietly and fast.

He looked at me confused so I guess he didn't hear what I said. I take a deep breath and said it again, "I don't want you to leave." He looked at me and I saw him smile which made me smile a little. "Sure, I'll stay." "Honto, honto ni?" He nodded smiling and then said, "So where am I going to sleep?" Whoops didn't think of that, now did I? Okay, so I know where I want him to sleep, and yes just sleep! At least I had the decency to blush at that thought. "You can have my bed. I'll take the couch." "No, I couldn't. You know we could share the bed." He said mumbling but still loud enough so I could hear him, since we were kind of close and everything. And as usually he continues before I can answer. I'm starting to think it's a nervous habit he got, since he got a tendency to do that almost every time we speak, just the two of us. "Or I'll just take the couch. It's your apartment after all and I don't want to push you or anything. And.." "Hiro, urusai! I.. eh.. Actually I wanted to share bed with you" I said while turning very red.

He looks kind of surprised and he's kind of gulping like a fish. I had to bit my lip so I wouldn't start laughing. Oh, he's starting to pull him self to together and look he speaks, "Uh-huh, sure." I yawned again, I tried to stop it but it just wouldn't go. "We should go to bed. It's pretty late and we have work tomorrow." He said while looking me in the eyes.

I nodded and then it struck me. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.." I didn't even notice that I was chanting it out loud. Which maybe wasn't the greatest idée in the world and now he's looking at me strangely. I probably got some explaining to do, "You do realise that Shuichi-san and the others are going to notice and start asking questions, ne?" "Let them wonder. If they ask, we tell if you want to." He's right. It's our relationship, not theirs. If we want to be together then it has nothing to do with them. "Kay, if they ask, we tell. Now let's go to bed." I said while taking his hand and leading him to my bedroom.

Okay, hope you like it.. I would appreciate if you would review and tell me what you think and also if you think I should continue. So okay, I might continue even if you don't want me to.. :D

Ja ne