The City and the Sea

Chapter 1

He pushed harder, his dead heavy legs straining as they commanded his feet to rake faster through the ashen field, one after another in flight. Moving swifter than his chest could bare, he willed his strength to compensate just a few more yards. The burn of the raw adrenaline was redlining, warning of failure as his heart slammed against his sternum. He was almost there. The falling light was chasing him down; his only advantage being each oxygen laced breath he could steal, each theft biting cold as it thrashed against capture. 'A few more feet, four, three, t…,' He reached for the familiar hand, desperation extended out toward hope…

The impact was tight and precise; twin points of fire sparked into his back, ripping through and exploding apart his awareness, suspending him in mid air between time and space. His only thought was to reach her. The hand before him vanished into the dark as his body crashed into the back of the jumper.

Ronon caught the impact of him as he fell, embracing him with a protectiveness that nothing could stare down. "Now Lorne! Go!" He roared toward the soldier ahead of him in the pilot seat. The hatch door quickly walled them off. He eased John down slowly onto his lap, a small bloom of blood catching at the corner of his commander's mouth. Before another breath was taken by the crew, an urgent voice called loudly over the radio.

"Atlantis, this is Jumper one, do you copy? We are inbound with two casualties. Condition critical. Need med team STAT in gate room. ETA six minutes."

"Jumper one, acknowledged. Med team standing by."

"Copy that Atlantis"

"Ronon, status." Lorne called back.

"He's hit. Two shots in the back. He's breathing but unconscious. Hurry" He replied; bitter emotion cutting him off.

Major Lorne turned back one more time, "Teyla, how is she?"

"Resting quietly, Major." Teyla returned, thoughtfully moving a lock of dark hair away from Elizabeth's fragile brow.

"Ronon?" Rodney asked in hushed disbelief from the co-pilot's seat.

"I don't know." Was the only reply he received.

He could feel the weight of his remembered body against the bed, sinking in with his warmth. The room was soft in color and light. He could only make out a low percussion of clicks and whispers filtering around him. He felt no pain as he lilted up into himself. A deep forgiving breath brought him gently awake. The infirmary was second nature to him now, repeatedly listening as his mortality would plead its case, only to be granted one more chance. A chance he was never more grateful for than now.

He turned his head slowly toward the gravity of her presence. Her graceful form lay on its side. He could make out the curvature of her nature, delicate and still, protected by an ivory blanket. The tension in his solar plexus released as he now knew they both had a chance. He glided back into the deep with a new found calm and relinquished his momentary hold on awareness.

John opened his eyes, leading them to rest against the pale fabric of the privacy screen before him. He was alone, shrouded off from the rest of the ward. It was still early; evident from the well memorized light seeping in through a window arch down the hall. It slipped through the gauzy seams around him. He felt the usual restriction of various medical accoutrements intruding in and around him, assisting his body. Sly but perceptible footfalls worked their way toward him and banked the corner. Ronan smiled at his friend with a relief that spoke the feelings of his entire team. "Hey, glad you decided to stick around. Carter says she's gonna name this place after you if you keep it up.""

John looked up at his intimidating presence with the fog of his dream still clinging to him. He spoke with a rough, unsteady timbre. "Did I... dream it? We…made it back, all of us?"

Ronon moved closer and nodded. "She's here Sheppard. Safe. Everyone is. She has been spending time with Keller and Teyla mostly. McKay has helped out too. They have been working with her, helping her adjust, I guess. They have spent days and days talking to one another."

John felt his dry throat start to moisten as Ronan's words verified his hope. "She's ok? The nanites...does she remember?"

Ronon put his hand on John's bicep in reassurance, "Yeah, from what they say. She was really weak and nearly starved when she arrived but no trace of the nanites. They don't know why they're gone, but it's really her. She remembers most things. She remembers you."

John sat up a little, pushing against the bed. "What do you mean?" He asked, his guard slowly rising. John tried to obscure his need to know.

Ronan knew him well enough to keep to the point and tell him the truth."She asks to see you every day. They have let her visit for short periods. She doesn't say much, just sits and watches you sleep."

"Ronon, how long have I been here?" John asked, visibly concerned as he began to grasp how badly he had been injured.

"Almost four weeks. You took two shots in the back, from what looks like one of our weapons. Your vest just stopped the bullets from killing you. Messed you up pretty good. You had surgery and since then you have woken up a few times, but this is the first time you haven't puked. "

"Thanks…buddy. What do we know…what happened?" John's back felt like it was nailed to a board.

"We still don't know who they were. Maybe Geni. Hard to say. Laden says his people were not involved. When we went back a few days later, they were gone. No trace. "

John started to feel the fatigue pull him back to the pillow as he let his memory fit the pieces together. "Can I get out of here?" He asked, subtly looking for a co-conspirator.

"Not until the Doc checks you out. You know the drill. It will probably be a few days. Don't rush it. "

"Is that why you're here?" John asked with a suspicious inflection.

"Yep, figured you were close to making a break for it. Especially since she isn't staying here anymore. Besides, I can't make much more sense out of what is happening around here. No more than what I told you anyway. Keeping an eye on you seemed to be the best option." Ronon smiled, knowing John was feeling better if he wanted to break protocol.

John was quiet for a moment, and then asked, "When will the Doc be headed back this way?"

"Soon, Maybe an hour. Don't worry, when the Doc releases you, you will be able to see her. But Sheppard…"

"Yeah, what …?"

"You probably won't be left alone with her. Not at first. " Ronon replied cautiously, watching to see if John would catch his hidden warning.

"Why? You said she's ok. I don't understand." John's words tightened in confusion as they left his mouth.

"They say it has something to do with her adjustment back to this place. They have been taking her through things slow. She is on something called a meditation retreat with Teyla. They should be back in a day or two. Do you want me to get word to them?"

"No, it's ok. How does she seem Ronon?" It hurt to speak but his desire to know ruled out.

"It's been tough I think. I think she is stronger than we realize, but you can see how it has changed her. I haven't had much contact but she is in good hands."

John nodded slowly, perceiving the situation with a hint of sadness. "I really need to get out of here….where are my clothes?" he asked, as if distracted. He moved to get up but Ronon stepped closer, blocking his path. "Sheppard, just wait a little more. You have been through a lot. Just to get all those tubes and stuff off of you will take a while. Then we'll get you out of here, ok?"

John looked at Ronon as if he was his only friend. He didn't have to say anything. Ronon just seemed to understand him. "Alright. " He said passively, lying back into a dull pain that pulsed along his spine. John was just beginning to be educated to his limitations.

Three days later, John walked slowly back to his quarters, painfully stiff and slightly off balance feeling the damaged back muscles complain and pull against his gait. His bandage, sealed down tight, felt foreign and annoying under his shirt. Keller had given him some pain meds and lectured him on his new but temporary routine; weeks of physical therapy and rest. He stepped into his room noticing it was as he had left it. Neat and basic save for a few of his favorite totems of down time. He sat on the edge of his undersized bed and put his hands over his eyes, absorbing the cool air of the morning. He had left his window open all those weeks ago, and now his room smelled like the ocean. Salty and clean, it was quietly uplifting. He let himself drift out the window on the breeze, his thoughts slowly shifting to Elizabeth. As relieved as he knowing Elizabeth was safe, we was also confused by the circumstance. His inability to understand his own feelings on any given day was a challenge, but the fathoms of genuine and imagined emotions he had kept hidden seemed determined to surface. He could feel the swell of inevitability, forming far off out at sea and gaining height as it travelled. He was ambivalent about seeing her. He knew something would give, and that seemed overwhelming.

A knock sounded at the door. He felt a rush of weakness move through him as he attempted to stand. Much to his relief, Rodney posed in the doorframe, smiling meekly. "Hey, thought I would come by and see how you were doing."

John looked back at him blankly, forgetting to respond.

"Or not…" Rodney whispered, taking a step back.

"McKay, no, it's alright, come in. I am just a little out of it. Pain meds…" John said, feeling awkward. He waved him in and sat back down on the bed since standing wasn't his most steady option.

"Keller says you're a free man. How do you feel?" Rodney asked, hoping to get past John's disjointed persona.

"I don't now…Kinda strange I guess. I'm pretty sore. I hear I have some catching up to do around here…." John said, holding his head in one hand as he looked at the floor. "Have you been able to find any Intel on that base we found? Geni? Ronan says everything is gone." He asked, briefly slipping back into his military role.

"Actually no. I'm not convinced it was anyone we have dealt with before. Laden is probably telling the truth about having no involvement. My best guess would be mercenaries but I really don't know. We haven't completely given up, but the odds are slim at best at getting any further. Lorne is staying alert to any future leads. We may never know John. "McKay replied, sensing the dead end.

"Elizabeth, Is she ok? What does she member?" John pressed as the ache in his back grew.

"She's ok. She remembers some things. Unpleasant things. That whole thing with Oberoth is foggy but she is working through it. The only thing she can't recall is how she ended up on that base. She can remember sensations, feelings, but nothing concrete. Coming back has been hard for her I think."

"Why?" John asked, feeling Rodney's regret.

"There are a lot of things I suppose. I think she feels out of place. Seeing Carter in her office was hard. Seeing how things have moved on without her. She is unsure of herself, not the shrewd diplomat we knew. I imagine she feels alone, people stare. You know, whisper and such. Seeing you hurt was really hard. The first few days were pretty touchy for both of you. You almost didn't….Anyway, I suppose it will just take time for her to adjust. " Rodney felt the weight of his words impact his friend.

John fixed his eyes back to the floor, feeling darker. "Anything that has helped her?" He murmured.

"Yeah. She and Carter are getting along, despite the juxtaposition of things. She has been spending a lot of time with Teyla and Jennifer. And you. First thing she asked for when she finally woke. She stayed with you when she could. Didn't want to leave your side. I think she feels guilty for what happened to you. Ironic isn't it? I think the guilt somehow rests with me in the end for this entire situation." Rodney finished with a broken sigh, his sadness visible. John kept staring down, searching himself and connecting to the same guilt.

Rodney realized he had started to play with his hands out of anxiety. He had wondered how this moment would be, since he was not the best ambassador of good will or sensitive conversation. He slammed his hands quickly in his pants pockets, making him look even more obvious. John's silence began to unnerve him. He knew this was a difficult moment for John and realized he needed some encouragement. "She's ok John." He said, with a softer intention."She wants to see you. She would have come earlier, but wanted to give you some time."

Quick on the draw, John looked up at him, "I think I have had enough of that." He said, smirking sarcastically.

"Do you want to see her now?"

John paused, considering Rodney's words. He could feel his blood move a little quicker.

"John, are you up for it, or do you want to wait…" Rodney started, but dropped off as John stood up and made for the door.

"Now is good." John said with a sigh of determination. Rodney followed him out, catching him by the shirt tail and redirecting him to a transporter.

It had been while since John had been to the atrium. He forgot how relaxing it was, to be among all the green. He stepped in with Rodney and took a deep breath. "Where is she?" John whispered to Rodney, as if his fidgeting friend had made a mistake.

"Elizabeth? Where are you? John's here." Rodney called out tentatively into the space ahead. John felt his feet lock down into the floor as she stepped before him.

The last thing he remembered was breaking into a room and seeing her lying unconscious in a stasis pod…

"Sheppard! Let go! She's alive...We have to get back…" He could hear McKay's words fall around him in the din as he clutched her hands. She was breathing, barely there under his touch. Gunfire raked the walls down the hall …exploding sharp concussive echoes into the room.

"John! We must go!" Teyla yelled out from the dirty corridor as her P-90 repelled the oncoming tide.

A shadow fell over John as Ronon approached. He pulled out of his daze, "Ronon! Take her! Get her back! Go!" John shouted as he watched her limp form be enveloped by his fierce companion. The splitting crimson burst of Ronon's gun cleared the path as they forced their way out, leaving John as the last man to follow. They broke into the weak light stretching the distance between the jumper and the exit, running for life. John had their backs, cutting down three assailants in a flash of fire as they bolted to intercept him. 'Two more behind in the trees…'

"Hello John." She said, smiling softly in his direction. Elizabeth stepped out from behind a cluster of flowering shrubs. Her figure was smaller and slightly wan. She had lost the confidence that once framed her, her presence now reflected a being more open and exposed. She seemed to be reluctant in her approach at first, waiting to see if it was really him. John felt the punch come, bruising his stomach as the living fact of her came into sight. She was dressed in a simple sky blue tee and navy slacks. Her dark auburn hair still hung in loose waves that scalloped the curve of her neck as it always had.

John's tired face showed the strain of a hundred unspoken wants. He stood before her, painful and unsteady but willingly. Her gaze seemed to part him open with a tenderness so sweet he almost couldn't bear it. All the things he had felt and thought were lost to him now. His reasons for being were now jumbled with doubt. He just wanted to fall to his knees in submission and let her warmth wash over him, clearing away the months of silence and waiting. He desperately wanted for her to show him how to let go and fall into the calm that had always been her. His Elizabeth. The fear of asking was so great, so intrusive; he fought to hold back in the hope of protecting her. The fear of admitting it was so expansive he fought to protect himself. The swell was closer to shore, building up behind his eyes. He wasn't sure if the moment was real. He wasn't breathing. He could hear his heart, stuttering in his throat, switching off his voice. A multitude of emotions struggled to rise, threatening to reveal him in all his true vulnerability.

As if somehow feeling his question, Elizabeth moved to him, leaning in close enough to see the flecks of bronze in his eyes. Her scent tempered his gaze into a soft repose calling his head down, closer to her face. She placed her slight hand up to his cheek as if to ease him further into a state of acceptance. He felt the insistence in her touch and opened his mouth slightly in response. He flushed inside, embarrassed by his reaction. Before he could understand what he was doing, she was against him, her face gracing his chest as her arms seemed to hold him up, her other hand silently moving up along his neck, coming to rest in his dark hair. He closed his eyes as if to feel his way to her with his other senses. His hands traced their way hesitantly around her, eventually asking permission to pull into the small of her back and join their bodies together. The weight of her against his body flooded him with a tremor that started his breathing again.

Elizabeth could only remember being this close to him a few times, but none were needed as much as this. Wrapped in the strength of his warmth, she craved to move into him further. His skin was electric to her under her hands, charged with a reserve so deep and guarded she ached to find shelter in it. He was a mystery that had captivated her with a profound intensity of kindness and ease, always leaving her a little shaken in his absence. She focused on his heart beat, just under her ear, reassuring her that this was safe. She was safe. The cut form under his black shirt fit hers with a comfort she had never known until now. The attraction of their fields had always teased at the edge of the other but now joined, she could almost feel his fears. She could feel her own, bleeding away from her as she realized perhaps for the first time just how essential he was to her, and how much she needed him now. His breathing had found hers, pacing its self out in a mutual rhythm. The smell of him held her with such an overpowering desire to stay close it welled up within her, her heart aching. His hands were devoted and thoughtful if not outright careful with her, reading her hurt and taking no more than what was offered. She didn't want to step away from all that he was to her right now. Despite all she had been through these many months, this seemed like the only truth. Small tears of relief made their way out, falling honest and hot on his shirt. She could feel the heat from his breath next to her face as he whispered so only they would hear, "You ok?"

She quietly looked up at him with gratitude, smiling. "I am now..." John could feel the rush of blood to his feet as he realized that after all this time, he was still important to her.

He couldn't keep his hand from moving up to her face and into her hair. He looked at her as if his life depended on it. John remained quiet as he studied her softly, tracing his thumb delicately across her cheek and taking her tears with it. She could see the tenderness in his eyes backed by the threat of his own emotion, shining to her a promise that she was home. "It's alright. Whatever you need, ok? I am right here."He whispered with a heavy breath, again only for her. Elizabeth rested back against him, holding him tighter as if to confirm he was real. John returned the gesture, taking her in just as he had taken in the ocean breeze that had filled his quarters earlier.

Rodney had moved away into the hall, knowing that they deserved this moment to just be about them. Protocols be damned. Carter had made it clear Elizabeth could have a strong reaction upon seeing John, considering her last contact with him had been traumatic. Despite that possibility, he knew John would be instinctively careful with her, as always. Now, much more so. He would wait for them to find their own way out, or at least until someone came to check up on them. Rodney eased himself down onto a bench, determined to be patient, but fidgeting. He hoped it wouldn't be too long.

They hung on one another in the balmy quiet. Verdant hued light filtered the room. John shifted his face more forward, still a few inches from her." Why this place? You never come here "He asked, appreciative of her proximity.

Elizabeth smiled and looked down, "Rodney's idea. He thought it might help if I had a new reference point. Something to help me look forward rather than back. And, he knows I like the color green." She moved his hand down from his head and cautiously fingered the bandage under his clothing. He kept his eyes fixed on her as he felt the familiar bond they had always shared, now returning.

"I thought you liked red?" He asked, a bit dismayed. 'How could McKay know that?' He thought with a twitch.

"Yeah, but green works too." She said, looking concerned as she still felt the bandage. "I'm sorry John. I…" She was stopped short by his eyes, glinting at her with understanding. He read her intonation, sensing her hand asking if he was alright. "Don't be. I 'm ok. Doc says I have to behave. It will need to heal for a while more. They've grounded me until then." He leaned her a little closer.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, moving her hand down and away to his hip.

"More than I expected, I suppose. I have meds to help." He said, moving back to her ear, feeling comforted. Unconsciously, he pressed inward, following the warmth emanating from her. Eyes closed, he inadvertently let his mouth graze her neck as he whispered, "It was worth this." She stayed still, stunned by the sensation of him but unafraid. He caught himself abruptly, fearing he had risked the moment by trespassing without intending to. Elizabeth held him with more conviction as if to excuse his action, much to his disbelief. John attempted to trust it and began to relax. Elizabeth didn't want give him up. If she had to die right here, she thought, it would be worth this as well.

Rodney swiftly came around the bend, looking harried. "Carter is coming, thought you should know."Rodney's eyes pivoted over them, witnessing a glimpse of their rather intimate embrace. Feeling the intrusion, John quickly released her and took a step back. Rodney hovered a moment more until he was satisfied they were alright. Elizabeth watched John as his eyes reassured her. Hearing the approaching footfalls, she straightened up into a more convincing version of Dr. Weir.

"Hey McKay, have you seen Elizabeth, we were supposed to meet a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah, she's right there" He said innocently, eyes wide and pointing at the door to the atrium and his two team members."

"Ah, I see you two have been able to chat. Good to see you up Colonel. We missed you." She said, inspecting them for clues.

"Yeah, glad to be back. I am on a short leash but the doc says I will be fine. Just thought I would say hi to…Dr. Weir." John volunteered with a hand wave, trying to look casual. It was made all the more difficult by the fact that Elizabeth couldn't hide her smile.

Elizabeth stepped out of the door and joined Col. Carter. "I have plans, but I imagine I will see you both later."

"Yeah, see you…"Rodney mumbled as Carter and Elizabeth walked off.

"McKay..." John began. Rodney smiled at him like the Cheshire cat. "No problem." He replied as he walked away with the knowledge his mission had been completed.