Disclaimer: Don't Own Death Note... Or Pokemon... Or Nintendo... Or eBay...
A/N: I was inspired by a picture on DeviantArt that showed Mello and Near switching clothes. It was hot. But now I can't find it. -cries- Someone find it for me!
EDIT - A/N: Thank you so much Arnold the Pygmy Puff and The Alias for finding it for meee! -hugs both of you-
Anyway, it's called 'Switch' by 'smilyimp'. Type in the search box 'by:smilyimp' (kill the quotation marks) and look for it! :D
Or...
http: / / smilyimp. deviantart. com/ art/ switch- 61455462 (kill the spaces :D)
ON WITH THE STORY!
Dinner was an unusual affair.
Well it was unusual because Near was actually sitting next to somebody - two people in fact. One was named Matt, and the other Mello.
Yeah, you heard me right.
Mello.
Matt isn't a problem because he got along with everybody, maybe except Roger and the many girls he hit on...
...but that's another story.
"… Why are you sitting next to me?" Near asked cautiously, poking his dinner idly.
"What? I can't sit next to my rival during dinner?" Mello questioned back, faking hurt. Next to the blonde was Matt, playing his DS and trying to teach his NintenDog how to do a trick.
"Sit, damnit! Siiiiiiiiit!" The gamer hissed. The NintenDog fell asleep, ignoring its owner.
Near sighed, "Mello, yesterday you loudly proclaimed that you hated my guts. Secondly, people are staring. I hate it when people stare at me." He deadpanned.
"Well I just wanted to say that I apologise for all the bad things I have ever done. But before I apologise I need to know all the things I've done to you." Mello said.
There was a moment of silence, then Near spoke. "… First, you like me to list the many things you have done to me that were absolutely 'bad'?" The white-haired boy repeated.
Mello's eye twitched, 'Didn't I just say that…?' "Of course… If you remember all of them." The blonde bit out.
"Well…" While Near was listing the many, many things that Mello has done to him, the chocoholic nudged Matt's foot discreetly. Matt turned to look at Mello, and Mello held two fingers behind his back.
'Ah, the signal…' The gamer thought. While Mello was distracting Near, Matt quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small packet with some white powder in it. On it were the words in bold letters:
Grinded Sleeping Pills - Fast Acting! - DO NOT EAT ALL AT ONCE!
Matt took a pinch of the white powder and inconspicuously slipped it into Near's water. He nudged Mello's foot, signalling it was done, and then resumed trying to teach his NintenDog how to sit.
Mello smirked deviously, phase one completed.
"… and just two days ago you knocked my tower of cards down." Near finished. Mechanically, he grabbed his glass of water and drank all of it in one go.
Listing the many things Mello has done to Near is hard work you know.
Mello's smirk got wider once Near put down the now empty glass. The chocoholic turned to face his rival. "Well Near, that's a lot of things I've done to you," He mused, and then started chuckling. "Did you really think I was gonna apologise to you?"
Near frowned, "I knew it; you just wanted me to list the things you've done to me to inflate your oversized ego." He said with contempt.
The chocoholic grinned, "Pretty much." He stood up, Matt doing the same. "Let's go." He ordered, and the two friends walked back to their shared room.
"Asshole," Near muttered, then let loose a wide yawn.
'Why do I feel drowsy all of a sudden…?' He thought, and let out another yawn. 'It's a bit early, but time for bed.' The white-haired boy then made his way to his room, his dinner left forgotten.
--
"This is the best idea I've ever thought up of!" Mello whispered to himself, sneaking into Near's room, Matt following in after. The blonde looked at his rival sleeping soundly on his bed. Near didn't even bother pulling the blankets on himself and just lay there in his white pyjama shirt and white boxers, his pants and socks thrown carelessly on the ground. He had a content look on his face. Mello almost felt bad about doing this.
Almost.
"C'mon Mels, here are his clothes." Matt hissed.
Mello sighed and walked over to where Matt is…
--
'D-Did it just get colder?' Was the first thing that Near processed once he woke up.
He opened his dark eyes and looked at himself.
He only had his boxers on…
'…Where's my shirt?' The white-haired boy blinked. He stood up, walked to his wardrobe, and slowly opened it.
'W-Where are my clothes?!' He panicked. He looked around the room for any clothes, but all he found was a package addressed to him. He picked up the package and opened it.
'…Hell no.' He deadpanned. Inside the package was a pink frilly dress, complete with pixie wings and a crown. There came a letter with it too, so Near opened it up and read it.
If you want your clothes back, look outside. -M and M2
Near frowned, but walked up to his window and looked outside. He saw all of his clothes tied up on the flagpole, all muddy and dirty, including his underwear. All of the children were outside looking at his clothes and giggling.
'There is absolutely no way am I going to go outside there with this.' Near held up the fairy costume, disgusted. He was about to throw it in the bin, but thought about it and kept it in his wardrobe.
It might come in handy later.
Near sat on his bed and thought about the situation. How was he going to get clothes? The white-haired boy heard a shout outside and turned to look at his window. His eyes widened. 'Holy…'
Mello was wearing his white pyjamas and dancing around, the children laughing at him. The chocoholic was mocking his rival.
Something inside Near snapped.
--
"Good morning, Wammy's!" Mello declared joyously, clad in Near's pyjamas. Matt snorted, playing Pokemon Diamond. The two boys were under the flagpole, just finished hanging Near's clothes up there.
The children gathered around the two boys and sniggered. Some were whispering to their friends.
Linda shoved her way throughout the crowd, looking livid. "This is so mean to Near, Mello!" She screeched. "Why did you do this?!"
Mello laughed, "Because that little shit deserved it!"
"…That doesn't really answer Linda's question, Mello."
Everyone turned to the source of the voice and simultaneously all their jaws dropped. Near was clad in a black leather, zip-up, sleeveless top (which was currently unzipped, showing off his torso) and black leather tight pants that just fit him. He was twirling his hair idly and smirking smugly at Mello's direction.
Linda promptly fainted due to blood loss.
Matt's Pikachu died.
"How did you get my clothes?!" Mello shouted, pointing at Near and blushing. 'Whoa…Hot.' He thought, discreetly ogling his rival's figure.
"Easy," Near drawled, "I went into your room and got it. The only set of clothes available was this leather one." The white-haired boy looked down on himself. "How do you even fit in these?"
"G-Give me back my clothes, Near!" Mello stammered. "They're new!"
"Not until you give me back all my clothes." Near put his hands on his hips.
Some girls (and boys) followed Linda's example and fainted from blood loss.
Matt coughed, "I think you better listen to him Mels, or more girls will pass out and Roger will kill us."
"…fine." Mello grumbled. 'Stupid Near, looking all hot in leather.'
Near smiled cutely, and Mello couldn't take it anymore.
He pounced.
--
In the end, Roger eventually found out about the prank, and whacked Mello a few times with his cane. Near was upset about that and took away all of Roger's clothes and replaced them with the fairy costume.
Many children were scarred when they saw Roger the next morning.
L was contacted about the prank, but L didn't punish Mello and Matt because he was too busy working on some case in Japan. Or looking at cake porn. Whichever.
Mello and Near eventually developed a relationship, but no one knew about it save for Matt. After the prank, Mello dragged Near into his room and did… some things that should not be described in detail at all because this story is rated 'T'. But from what we can gather, Near was on the bottom.
Anyways…
Matt recorded it all on tape and sold it to some rabid yaoi fangirls. The fangirls tied the poor boy up and placed him on auction in eBay.
But again, that is another story.
A/N: Lolllll. Poor Matty. Yes, I cannot write lemons.
Like it? Hate it? Review! XD