Unfair
Author: AbbyGibbs
Disclaimers: Well, I do not own them and that is pretty unfair – they again belong to DPB! Why does he always have to own the best shows and the best characters? Could someone explain that to me? His characters are always suffering too much. So I have decided to borrow them for a little while, the length of a story, but I promise to give them back though I really wish I could keep them for myself.
Though, Stevie, Don, Catherine, Delia and Celia are mine.
Classification: I don't really know.
Rating: T or maybe M (as always to be on the safe side, isn't it?)
Spoilers: none. Some references to episodes might appear in it, though.
Warning: some of you might need a Kleenex box near their computer.
Summary: sometimes life can be pretty unfair and after a rough and sad case, Abby does some thinking and some drinking and something else. Something that will almost destroy all their lives and will change them forever. But what does she exactly do and how will it affect the team and how will Gibbs react? Want to find out? Well there's only one way to figure it out, read.
Author's note: well this story came to mind after I got really pissed at life and my parents' so the best way for me to get my frustration out is to write as always. I know it's Abbs again, but I love her, she's my favorite on the show, Gibbs and Abbs are my inspiration no matter what so…
Here we go. I hope you'll enjoy your reading.
I think this story will be in three parts. But I'm not sure yet.
Warning: it might be very dark at some points. No one of the NCIS feel die in this fic… well I hope so. And before you all want to kill me again for what I've done. KEEP IN MIND THAT I LOVE ABBY SCIUTO. SHE'S MY FAVORITE FEMALE character on the show, so don't freak out immediately.
Oh and this story in not written in my usual writing style.
Huge hugs to ncislove, who was there to listen to me when I needed it. Girls I'm so lucky to know you. Big hugs as well to my very supportive beta. Shadoe you're amazing!
Thanks to all my fellow readers, you guys are the best.
Feedbacks: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.
But those who like it drop a review, please!
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*1*
Heart ache
Night had fallen on the streets of Washington DC for a couple of hours already and Gibbs's team had long since gone home. He was, as usual, still sitting behind his desk doing some paper work.
One glance at his watch indicated that it was already 1:32 am, and he decided to call it a night, but before leaving he would check in on Abby and tell her he was going to drive her home as he knew she had come to work this morning by bus.
Gibbs walked to the elevator and pressed the call button. A few short moments after that, he entered Abby's lab. All that greeted him was uncomfortable darkness and silence. Jethro suddenly felt uneasy, and his famous gut was telling that something was wrong.
As there was silence and darkness, Gibbs thought that she'd gone home though he didn't really think that she did. She would have told him. He opted to call her cell phone anyway.
Taking the device out of his pocket, he flipped it open and composed Abby's number, no luck there either, it went straight to her voicemail.
Damn!
Gibbs thought for a moment… thinking he accidentally might have forgotten to do something for her or with her, but he couldn't recall anything. He decided to see if he couldn't find anything that might give him an idea on why Abby at left early. This wasn't like her; she would never leave without telling him first.
Their last case had affected her, badly.
Abby had been on the verge of crying several time during the investigation. She was a sensitive and caring person, but this time, for some inexplicable reason, it was different. He had been trying to talk to her without success.
His gut was telling him that she was keeping something to herself. She always told him everything so it must be something serious.
Gibbs had made a mental note to himself to try to talk to her again, but the case was so demanding that he hadn't found the time to go to her and push the matter in the hope that she would finally talk to him.
Gibbs switched the light on in the lab and looked around without touching anyting. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. A few notes here and there, her computers were all out…
There was something bothering him though he couldn't quite catch was it was, he couldn't see something wrong, but could definitely feel it. As Gibbs walked through the lab he kicked something with is left foot. Looking down he saw that it was Abby's wallet. Bending down, he picked it up.
This was definitely not like Abby. She never forgot anything and definitely not her personal stuff.
Gibbs put the wallet in the inside pocket of his jacket before scanning her lab once again. Then switching off the lights, Jethro headed for the elevator. Once inside the metallic cage he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
What's happing? Why didn't she come to me? She knows she can tell me everything.
The case had taken its toll on them that was for sure. Damn even he himself had been shocked has they had learned the truth about the reasons why the killer had taken such drastic measures.
Worst of all, was that the victim and the killer were related. It was not even a crime of passion. Gibbs considered it as a family drama. The victim was a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy. Her name was Stevie Hellsworth, and she was the mother of two girls, Delia and Catherine.
Stevie's husband, Don Hellsworth, had died from lung cancer three years ago, leaving his wife and two grown up daughters to themselves.
Catherine was the oldest one of the two and in a wheelchair, and apparently, she couldn't accept her handicap as well as everyone thought she did.
In appearance Catherine was beautiful, and she was easy to talk to, the only 'minor thing' about her was that she couldn't walk. People who had taken the time to really know her appreciated her all the more.
Catherine Hellsworth was a great human being, Gibbs, Abby and all the team had seen that when she had come to the NCIS headquarters. Abby loved her. Gibbs had tried to warn her that she shouldn't let herself be too attached to Cath as she was a suspect in the murder investigation of her mother.
Abby knew that alright, but she couldn't help herself, there was something about the Hellsworth older sister and it had nothing to do with the fact that she couldn't walk. Catherine was such a nice person to be with. Her sister, Delia on the other hand…
There was something in Delia's attitude that Abby didn't like. Delia was nice, too, but it didn't excuse the fact that she was so self absorbed that when she came into a room it simply radiated from her. It was evident to everyone that met Delia that she had a high opinion of herself, thinking that she knew everything and was better than others. No wonder Catherine felt stupid most of the time, even if deep inside she knew she wasn't. It's the effect that she had on her older sister though. Catherine could feel so bad sometimes that it was heartbreaking. Her mom was supportive of her and everything, but she wasn't often home.
A dream of Cath's was to have a baby, but when she talked about it to people she knew, they said it would be irresponsible. A toddler would run out of the house or get hurt and she wouldn't be able to take care of it alone, and the number one person that was against it was Stevie herself.
The young woman in the wheelchair would avoid the subject and keep her pain buried deep inside. Catherine would be slowly eaten up from the inside by bitterness and anger about the incomprehension of most people. And one day her life would be turned upside down.
And it eventually did. The day she'd found her mother lying on the living room floor, in a pool of blood. She had dialed 911, but it was too late. By the time the paramedics arrived Stevie was already dead. Now Catherine lived her sister's house, spending her time between work—work she did at home, seeing she was a writer—and quite famous. And according to Tony she was a better writer McGee was.
As she couldn't go anywhere during the investigation, Catherine Hellsworth decided that she was going to write a short story. She'd called it Matters of the Heart it was based on the NCIS team she was starting to know now quite well, it was mostly based on Abby and Gibbs.
Even though she never worked as a field agent; Abby Sciuto was indispensable for the team. And from what Catherine had been able to see when she was in the NCIS building, Abby and Gibbs were very close.
They didn't act the way one would expect an employee and her boss to act. Definitely not and when they looked at each other or when they simply were in one another's presence a distinctive twinkle would appear, and shine in both their eyes. Cath wasn't entirely sure if they were aware of it themselves. They constantly flirted with each other and sometimes Abby tested the ground to see how far she could go before he'd stop her.
And from what she had witnessed he let it go pretty far already. So the still young and beautiful Catherine Hellsworth, decide to write a short story about them and maybe she'd even write a second one especially for Tony DiNozzo.
A short story that would be talking about a handsome young man who has a fascination for movies and for Donald P. Bellisario's success TV show in the eighties; Magnum, P.I.
Maybe writing would be helping her to forget the pain she's feeling from the lost of her mother.
But sometimes even writing wasn't enough.
Catherine Hellsworth suffered from life sickness, she felt often sad, she didn't really feel worthy to live, and she also often thought that her friends would be better off without her.
She had almost no self-confidence in herself. Of course her grandmother wasn't a complete stranger about the fact of why she was feeling the way she did. Her grandma despisedher, and to make matters even worse she didn't tell her, that she did. Instead she told her that she was her favorite and then she'd say horrible things about Stevie, torturing Catherine morally so much so that she would have a nervous breakdown.
Celia Mapotter-Hellsworth, mother of Stevie's husband was a real rich bitch. She believed she was the center of the world because she had money. She had hated Stevie from the very beginning. The reason for it was that she would be the woman that was going to take her son away from her.
The day she learned of Stevie's pregnancy, had been her worst nightmare come true. She didn't like the idea of becoming a grandmother. Even though the child would be a part of her son Don, in the eyes of Celia, Stevie was not good enough to carry her grandchildren. So she simply decided to make life a living hell.
No matter what, Stevie didn't flinch—she couldn't really care what Celia said—no matter how horrible her vehemence was.
Unfortunately one day her world was shattered into pieces. She had a doctor's appointment to see if the baby was doing fine. At the doctor's office she was told that the baby might have a malformation. Her heart stopped beating for a second.
The doctor told her that there was still the opportunity to make the embryo disappear. Stevie couldn't believe her own ears. Was her doctor really suggesting her to do what no fiber in her being would even ever consider? Get rid of the little life growing within her?
"Never!" she said angrily as tears started to beam in her eyes.
"I know it's difficult, but it would be for the best." The doctor started, slowly.
"For the best? Are you seriously suggesting I kill my baby and then dare to tell me it's for the best? You said MIGHT have you didn't say WILL HAVE. To me that makes a huge difference, because that means that the possibility that my baby will be perfectly normal still exists, right?" Stevie said in an angry voice.
"Yes, but…"
Stevie cut him off with a dead look in her eyes.
"Thank you doctor, that all I wanted to know," she said, dryly before standing up her purse in her hands. The deadly look still in her eyes and she turned her heels and left the practitioner's office without even looking back at him.
No this couldn't be, I'm sleeping and having a really bad nightmare. Yes that must be it, I'm gonna wake up soon and realize that all this is only an awfully bad dream.
Stevie ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, her right hand covering her mouth as tears ran down her cheeks. She was afraid she might throw up and it had nothing to do with morning sickness this time.
How could such a happy moment, discovering you were going to be a mother a couple of weeks ago, turn into such a grieving time? How could a doctor dare to suggest to get rid of something you've wanted for as long as you can remember?
No one but her had the right, what was for the best. And what was best for her was to keep the baby. Stevie ran to her car. Stopping in front of it she took her keys and unlocked it before opening the door and getting in.
She suddenly had to impression she couldn't breathe anymore. This couldn't be happening. No this couldn't be. This really couldn't be happening again.
Something she'd done in the past was haunting her again. The memories resurfaced instantly. She was lying on in hospital room, it looked exactly like a delivery room, but Stevie wasn't going to give birth. The doctor was going to take the embryo away. She'd felt ugly and incredibly selfish, weak. She had done what Celia had asked her to do and paid for.
She wasn't going to make that same mistake again even if she'd have to fight Don's mother. This time, she would become a mother, the hell with everything else.
The child she was carrying inside of her would live no matter what.
Stevie sat in her car without moving. She just let her emotions run free by crying. For the time being that's all she could do, cry. Life kept throwing obstacles at her, and she was slowly starting to lose her faith in God.
How could He do this? How could He let these horrible things happen to her? She knew she was selfish by thinking that, but she was on the verge of a severe nervous breakdown. If it was His to making her pay for the fact that she had had an abortion the first time, there was no need for that, she was suffering from that decision every single day of her life since she had done it.
These were questions she would never have an answer to, no one would. Stevie finally started the engine of her car after ten long minutes, though to her it had seemed like eternity. Wondering once more what she might have done to have all this weight on her shoulders and for all these things that were going bad.
Finally she started her car and made a quick stop at a Starbucks coffee shop, to order herself a hot cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows. She asked for a to-go cup, but in the end she stayed there for a little while, thinking about her life before Don Hellsworth, before the entire nightmare begun. She had wanted to be in the Navy for as long as she could remember, the road hadn't been easy to get there, but she had succeeded and that had been one of the happiest times of her life, and five years later she'd met Don and it had been love at first sight for both of them.
Everything had been nothing but happiness between them until the day she'd met his mother. That woman was even worse than the Wicked Witch of the West. For that moment, Celia had done everything she could to destroy Stevie mentally. And to her own surprise she was starting to succeed. They had married two years later, and here she was pregnant for first time, no second time, scared, alone and extremely sad.
As she was drinking her cocoa with slow sips enjoying the warmth of it, she looked through the window, smiling absently as she saw a woman smiling and speaking sweet words to the little bundle in her arms.
*~*~*
Abby was sitting in her shower, letting water run over her tired, shuddering and still fully dressed body. She was hugging her legs, her chin resting on her knees. Her normally perfect make up was now completely trashed, and wet black stains were running down her cheeks.
She didn't how long she had been sitting like this, but Abby Sciuto couldn't care. She wasn't feeling the cold of the water that kept pouring down on her already soaked clothes anymore. She couldn't feel anything but pain.
Catherine Hellsworth was such a nice person so why had it to end like this? Why hadn't she seen this coming? Why hadn't she been able to see the signs?
New tears ran down her cheeks as she thought of what had happened.
Why hadn't they been able to prevent this tragedy?
Her heart ached so much. She felt useless. Gibbs had tried to warn her, but she had chosen not to listen and now Catherine Hellsworth was dead. Abby couldn't help but blame herself for what had happen to Catherine.
I'm sorry Catherine, I'm so sorry. Abby whispered. This entire case ended up in such a fiasco because of me.
*~*~*
Abby had decide to leave NCIS early, and hadn't said anything to anyone, not even Gibbs., She just wanted to check and see how Catherine was doing after Gibbs and Tony had told her the terrible news that Delia had killed their mother.
Abby still couldn't bear the thought.
When she had arrived at Catherine and Delia's house she knocked, but no one had answered so she went to the back door. Luckily it was open as always. Abby had knocked again but there was still no reaction.
"Cath it's me, Abby. Can I come in?"
Abby was met with silence.
"Catherine?"
Still in this uncomfortable silence, Abby was staring to get a bad feeling. She slowly moved forward. One step at a time. The door that leaded to Cath's room was ajar. Abby's heartbeat raced, reaching out she pushed the door open with her hand.
Then she still stood completely still as she was met with the vision of sheer horror in front of her. Catherine Hellsworth was lying on her bed, her head to the left side facing the door, her eyes glassy and cold, and a trickle of blood slid down her right temple. The gun she had used was still in her right hand.
Abby Sciuto could feel her eyes moisten, as she saw her friend like this. She stepped closer to the bed, walking toward where Catherine was lying lifeless and cold, kneeling next to the bed, she slowly took her friend's hand in hers.
"Why Cath? Why did you done this? Why did you ended your life like this?
The way her friend had decided to end her life surprised Abby. This was not the usual way a woman would take her own life. An overdose of pills, writs cut open even drinking to the point they would induce an alcoholic coma, but not shooting themselves with a 9mm. It was an established fact that a woman who was going to end her life almost never used a gun. A woman wants to spare her delicate features… so why had she done this?
Abby couldn't think of any logical explanation, nor could she think straight anymore. All she knew was that she couldn't leave Catherine like that. She called the local police waited until they arrived, answered all their questions and waited until they gave her permission to go home. She hadn't wanted to call Gibbs because she didn't like she could face his questions on the reasons she was visiting Catherine.
She didn't want him to look at her without saying a single word, letting his eyes talk for him, and tell her silently that he had told her to be careful and not to get too involved. She knew all that, but she couldn't help it. It was just the way Abby was, when she saw someone that needed help, she had to do something.
Even if she had to pay a high price for having helped someone, what she hadn't expectedt was that this time the price would be so high.
*~*~*
Abby reached out to the wall behind her, where she knew the bar of soap would be. She hoped that what she was looked for was on the soap bar this morning like almost each time she shaved her legs. Abby had a bad habit of simply putting her razor on top of the soap.
Feeling with her finger, she found it. Very slowly Abby brought her arm back down, studying the raze blade intensely, she was suddenly fascinated by its shine, and the fact that she could she herself in it.
Her mind recalled Johnny Depp, playing with them in "Sweeny Todd: The Devil Barber of Fleet Street" Abby let her fingers caress the blade. The sensation of the cool and wet metal against her fingertips made her shiver. The blade was tremendously appealing to her right now.
What would happen if I just caressed my wrists with it? Would it hurt? Would my blood leave my forearm rapidly?
Abby wasn't aware of the fact that she actually had done it while she was asking herself these questions. The razor blade had caressed her left wrist and her blood was dripping down her forearm, making a furrow of dark red appear on her skin. Abby Sciuto looked at it fascinated as if she was in some sort of trance.
So was this it? Was this it what it looked like when your life slipped away from you? She wondered.
Not so bad that I thought it would be.
Slowly Abby did the same with her right wrist, she let the blade slide on it and watched as the blood appeared and found its way down her forearm and then was absorbed by her wet clothes. As more blood was released, it finished its course on the on the glassy wet floor of the shower stall, where it lost its dark red shade as it was diluted with the transparent liquid that still poured over Abby. Shifting positions a bit she stretched her legs out in front of her.
Slowly her eyelids started to feel very heavy, and she wanted to close them so badly, and that is exactly what she did a couple of minutes later. Her head fell back a little and turned slightly to the right.
Her left arm fell heavily on her lap and the razor broke free and fell next to her, as her grip on the item had loosened. There she was, sitting in her shower stall as her blood kept flowing out of her wrists.
*~*~*
Gibbs parked his car in front of Abby's building. Something kept bugging him since he had been in her lab earlier. He had thought calling her, but he had her cell and she almost always put her home phone on voicemail.
His gut feeling had intensified as he was on the road to Abby's place, and now he was having the uncomfortable feeling that something serious had happened to her. As he walked toward the building he suddenly felt a huge pressure on his chest and he had to stop a moment to gasp for air.
Something is wrong with Abby something terribly wrong.
The pressure on his chest left as quickly as it come. It had just been there for a couple of couple of seconds. Just enough time for him understand that something was going on with his favorite Goth girl.
Gibbs didn't exactly know why, but he pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911 and gave the dispatcher Abby's home address.
After he had hung up, Gibbs ran towards Abby's place, using the key she had given a while ago. As he unlocked the door and entered, he felt jolt of pure panic course through his body.
Something told him it would be useless to call out for her, that she wouldn't answer, but that she was there, he could feel her presence.
As he walked further into her place, he heard the faint sound of water running.
The bathroom
Entering the bathroom his eyes immediately spotted her, and his blood had ran cold, but almost instantly regained his composure and rushed to her side, his clothes instantly becoming soaked. But Gibbs didn't noticed, all his attention was focused on Abby. Gibbs turned off the water, took off his jacket and ripped off the sleeves of his shirt and then tore the sleeve into smaller pieces before winding up on her right wrist. The cloth turned red almost immediately.
Gibbs proceeded to do the same thing to her other wrist and it's only when he's done that he notices the razor. He's tempted to picking it up, but the item is not the most important thing right now. The most important, precious thing to him right now is Abby.
Why Abbs, why did you do it. Why didn't you say anything to one of us, why didn't say anything to me? And what on Earth could have pushed you to do such a drastic thing? He asked himself as a solitary tear ran down his cheek.
Jethro Gibbs snapped back to reality as he hears the sirens of the ambulance approach. "Come on, Abbs, stay with me, I need you."
Her eyes flutters open and she murmurs his name.
"Gibbs… Catherine is…" is all she manages to get out before she falls unconscious again.
"ABBY!" Gibbs shouts, as he holds her tightly.
He can hear the paramedics enter the house. They ask what's wrong then realized their question is stupid as they take in the scene in front of them.
The paramedics immediately enter in action. They ask Gibbs to let go of Abby so they can do their work, and he does so, reluctantly.
They check her pulse and are relieved to find one, it's very weak, but it's there, so that meant their chances of saving her were high. Gibbs watched the paramedics doing their jobs without a word, doing nothing but stare at the surreal scene playing out in front of him.
He jumped at the sound of his cell phone.
"Gibbs." He answered in a voice he barely recognized as his own.
["Boss, Catherine Hellsworth's dead. Suicide."]
Gibbs didn't answer to what Tony had just said. Not right away.
My God, she thinks it's her fault. Abby thinks, she's responsible for Catherine's death.
"DiNozzo you're in charge for now."
["Boss?"]
"I can't leave, Tony, I have to accompany the paramedics to the hospital. Abby cut her writs." He told the younger agent in a slow voice.
["WHAT??????"]
THE END
Soon to follow Second part and story called "Broken Lives "