Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters. Wishful thinking aside.
Warnings: This story is a Parrish/Lorne. Thus this fiction will contain allusions to a pre-slash relationship. This fiction also contains adult language and adult situations.
Authors note#1: This is a horrendously late response to a prompt for the Parrish_Lorne Thing-a-Thon on the LJ community: Parrish_Lorne. The prompt goes as follows: "Where in one or both of them fall into a lake, pond, random ocean or whatever tickles your fancy."
Something in the Water
- In retrospect, he was rapidly becoming aware that this was possibly -probably, very much all his fault.
He felt like he was stuck in one of those child safety infomercials that the Health and Safety Board spun out every six months or so. More specifically like the ones that always seemed to feature some cute little toddler wavering unsteadily beside an unsupervised swimming pool. An adorable mess of chubby limbs and unruly curls as they reached out across the water bound and determined to grasp some errant toy floating just out of reach without a single parent in sight.
- Because apparently all those years of mocking such commercials with his sisters had doomed him to be stuck in what literally felt like the adult version of the entire thing.
All that was missing was that ominous, two key tempo from the beginning of Jaws.
He had only turned around for a minute. Not even thirty freaking seconds. He swore to god. But it didn't matter. It had happened anyway. - This was of course, a perfect text book example of 'Scientist Minding Fail #101'.
It was the first rule of the unofficial and completely unspoken checklist all military personnel on Atlanta looked to before taking their scientists out for a play date. It didn't matter if you were a zoomie, a devil dog, or a jar head; the basic rules remained the same. Universally applicable regardless of the particular division of the Sciences you happened to be babysitting at any given time.
Though, he had it under good authority that Sheppard had McKay's in print somewhere. Liberally underlined in day glow marker and decorated with an assortment of rather ominous looking skull and crossbones drawn into the margins as each new entry was gradually added into the pile. But it was nothing, nothing compared to the literal implosion of multi-hued highlighter spirals and rather scary looking skulls that surrounded that of the first rule.
Especially the first rule. – It was the first rule that got drilled into each and every newbie that set foot on Atlantis. - If you have the desire to look away, or even turn around for just one blissful second? Don't. For the love of god, just don't.
It was simple really. It was like the one golden rule that ensured that the other rules were more then less followed. You could head off a lot of shit by following rule #1. Things like rule #4 which stated that: "the aliens will always want to steal your scientist. Be wary." Or rule #84: "an overtired, unfed scientist is a grouchy scientist. IE: See rule #6 in regards to carrying extra power bars.
So, like he'd said…Simple.
And yet, here he was, peering down over the side of the small pond he hadn't even seen in the first place trying to find Parrish among the reeds and long grass. - Parrish obviously hadn't seen it either, too distracted by the fact that the whole area was all but overgrown with a thick, vibrant patch of long orange reeds that kind of looked like the cat tails they had back on earth. Except that here the brown puffy stuff that usually decorated the tops were a bright, florescent blue in color. – ..Weird.
He knew this because Parrish had been cooing over them obscenely only thirty seconds earlier. Happily chattering on about acidity levels, soil ratios, and sample boxes just before the man made a surprised sounding 'meep!' - Kit going flying the second before a loud splash echoed out into the serene summer air. - He was already whirling on his heel and swearing under his breath before the man had even so much as finished uttering the sound. But by then it was too late.
- …Well, one thing was for certain. Parrish was no longer smiling. This was truly a moment to consider the merits of Rule #134 if there ever was one….
Because now the man was standing waist deep in the murky, muddy looking mess. - Spitting out a stream of pond water in a petulant looking spout as he wiped froth and bits of broken, water logged reeds out of his dripping, sandy brown hair.
He just closed his eyes and counted to ten.
Why was it that Parrish appeared to have the innate ability to find the sole body of water in over ten square miles of forest and then somehow manage to fall into it all in the same day? He was sure that the possibility probabilities were staggering. Yet was he completely surprised? - No. Not really. He wasn't even sure which part was worse. - That it had happened at all, or that he wasn't really surprised about it either way.
- Parrish needed a freaking leash. And perhaps a muzzle while they were at it. - Though he supposed that thought was neither here nor there.
"You okay doc?" He asked, fighting a helpless grin as he peered down the bank at his dripping charge.
And wow… - He was really going to have to start paying attention to how much time Parrish spent around McKay, because the death glare the sopping wet man was sending his way would have probably made the snarky scientist all but weep with pride if he'd been lucky enough to see it.
But today, since he was apparently feeling slightly homicidal with a dash of daring, and a side of pure stupidity, instead of just shutting his trap and helping the man out, his subconscious mind apparently felt the need to bask in the moment. - Unsurprisingly, this was where he made his second mistake.
"You really need to watch where you're going Doc." He chided, fighting off a grin as he braced himself in the thick muck that lined the river bank. – Sweeping his hand through the tall reeds and fuzzy cat tails as he looked for a good foot hold along the bank. - Extending an arm out towards the errant scientist in order to give him a hand up when he'd situated him.
The man was beyond wet. He was soaked. - Soaked in a way that pretty much defined the term. Having long abandoned the sweaty bulk of his tac-vest and science jacket in order to more easily collect samples, he had ended up toppling over the bank in only his thin nylon blue shirt and his khakis. – With the thin material now plastered across his skin in a strangely flattering way, revealing the man's lanky, lightly muscled frame in all its awkward, coltish glory.
He had an armful of dirty, pouting, sopping wet Botanist in his grip for about five blissfully victorious seconds before the whole thing went FUBAR. - Literally. - Gravity returning with a vengeance as Parrish lurched backwards in mid-air, sending the both of them flying backward. Hitting the water in a jumbled tangle of black BDU's and tan khakis slacks.
Son of a-
He broke the surface coughing and spluttering. Untangling his limbs from the other man as he flailed in place. Fighting to regain his balance in the waist high water as the man did the same somewhere behind him. Combat boots squishing in the muck below as Parrish spat out another arcing stream of water in lue of comment as he swore softly.
But when he turned to look all he could take in was the fact that Parrish had cat tail stuck in his hair, and was looking suspiciously pleased with himself. – Something, which in turn, led him to start considering the very real possibility that he might have just gotten had.
"Doc." He began. Speaking slowly and carefully as he fixed the man with an unwavering stare that if used any other time would have had a whole platoon of cadets all but pissing in their boots.
"- Did you do that on purpose?" He asked. Finishing the sentence with another glare as Parrish raised an eyebrow at him. Corners of his lips fish tailing slightly even as he made to speak.
"Why would I do something like that?" The man replied daintily, feigning unconcern and pointedly not looking at him as he held a rather slimy looking leaf towards the light. Inspecting it like a jeweler might with a particularly fascinating looking gem.
Uhuh. He wasn't buying the shit Parrish was sellin'. Not one bit. - Especially when he caught the barest hint of what might have been the tail end of a quickly squashed, but undeniably evil looking grin that had been tugging at the corner of the man's water slicked lips.
"…Besides." The soaking botanist began again, flinging a few remarkably guilty looking fingers in his general direction as he spoke.
"It isn't my fault you obviously have no sense of balance. Really Major, don't they teach you that in— hurk!"
But he didn't even give the man the chance to finish because before he could even think the action through he was launching himself forward. - Closing the distance between them faster then the other man could react. Before he hit Parrish in a watery tackle that sent them tumbling, ass over tea kettle, right back down into the murky, sediment laden water.
And if the rest of the team came upon them yelling and splashing at each other a few minutes later, flattening the cat tails and rolling around in the pond muck. – Staring wide eyed and disbelieving as they shouted and shrieked liquidly at each other. – With Parrish somehow managing latch into his back in a move that had to be illegal in at least one state back home as the lanky man tried his best to bring him down into the water again. – The sound of water soaked BDU's melding strangely as their combined laughter rolled out into the perfect summer air. - ..Well, they were certainly smart enough to keep their legs out of grabbing range…
A/N: This utter and complete fluff and I make no excuse for it. Please let me know what you think? Reviews and constructive critiquing are love!
A/N#2: This is all Clwilson2006's fault. I hope you're happy my freaky little ball and chain. I should be writing Masters Essays but NOOOOOOOOOO.