I opened the door and we strolled into the lounge. Michelle shrieked and flattened herself against the wall, then burst into tears. Xenium dove under the table and Ratman just sat in his chair stroking his plastic rodent and rocking.
I sauntered over to the table, grabbed a handful of chips and a beer and leaned against the window while I ate the chips and opened the beer.
Avon was staring at me, his face white. "You are certifiably insane. How could you bring that thing on board with us?"
Michelle wiped her face and turned towards me, a mad gleam in her eyes, "You are a disgusting slut. How can you whore yourself like that with something that's not even human?"
I sighed, they are just not getting it. Non-Intelligence people rarely do. Time for another lecture. I sent Lisa and Anne outside to keep a lookout and try to keep Jones from barging in.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "This is the last time we have this discussion. Is that clear with everyone?" There were nods all around and I continued, "I am neither insane, nor a slut. I do what I do because I have no choice and because I'm good at what I do."
Michelle snarled at me, "Good at what? Having sex with machines?"
Swill jumped in, "You are insane. You brought an Agent out here on a boat with a valuable team of scientists. I'm sure the Review Committee won't be happy to hear about this," he threatened.
Avon agreed, "That's right. I'm going have you up on charges. You are going to lose everything because of this."
I laughed coldly before continuing, "Avon, I wouldn't try it if I was you. The Review Committee, of which I am a member, doesn't appreciate having their time wasted. When my boss informs them that this was his idea, which incidentally required a lot of fast talking to get me to agree, they will dismiss your complaint and file one against you."
Choad raised an eyebrow, "You are not on the Review Committee, I've seen the roster. Your name does not appear."
"What is with you people? Why is it that everything I say you do not believe. No, I'm not on the Review Committee for Scientific. Submitting a complaint against me to them would mean they would have to forward it to Review Committee of the Bureau I do work for and that is the committee I belong to. Our roster is definitely not published." I folded my arms and looked almost as smug as a certain Agent I knew.
Avon laughed sarcastically, "You work for Scientific, same as we do."
"No, Avon, I do not. I never have. Since when do members of Scientific do field work?" I jerked my thumb in the direction of the door, "How many people in your bureau ever encounter Agents?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "They must if you do. Besides, we've all encountered an Agent today, thanks to your loose-cannon style of research."
I wanted to break a chair over his head, but I controlled myself. "Exactly, I was instructed to arrange this excursion so that the group of scientists assigned to study the Agent program would have the opportunity to obtain firsthand observations. My boss felt it necessary for you to see exactly what it is that you have been studying from safely behind the walls of your ivory tower."
My voice, still hoarse, rose to a shout, " People have died so that you can have the data that you've been analyzing. I've whored myself to an Agent to bring you this data, another thing that required a lot of fast talking on the part of my boss. I have refused to do active field research on the Agents since I joined the Bureau."
Xenium was curious, "So, why did you volunteer, finally?"
I turned to him and spoke flatly, "I didn't. Once my cover was blown and I was mixed up with the Agents, I was given no choice in the matter. I must play this out until the end. My end, that is. When I let myself think about what I am doing I want to scream or go mad. I hate this. I hate Agents."
Michelle sneered at me, "You seem pretty happy. I saw you sitting there on his lap holding hands with him."
I came around the table and stood over her and ground out, "I said I'm good at what I do. I am on of the best there is, and I've been doing it for a long time."
I looked at each of their faces before continuing, "I recently renamed my boat to cover my tracks from Brown. It used to be called the Living Dead Girl. Yes, that's one of my favorite songs, but it also reflects what I am. I'm living on the outside, dying inside. I do not allow anyone to touch what is inside of me."
"Yes, I seemed happy sitting there on Jones' knee, holding hands with him. On the outside, I am happy. Inside, in the part of me locked away from the world, I feel nothing like happiness. I refuse to allow myself to feel that particular range of emotions. I've never allowed myself to feel romantic love for anyone."
Swill looked a bit sick, "Sounds like you need therapy. People are supposed to feel, machines aren't."
Lisa warned me that Jones was now outside the door, so I switched to a secure form of communication, *Exactly, Swill. Who else better to engage in sexual contact with one of them than someone who is incapable of developing emotional attachments. Jones is highly manipulative and he can be very charming. And the sex is fantastic. If I let myself feel certain types of feelings, I'd be running a terrible risk of falling for him, and that would be the destruction of what has become a very delicate Intelligence operation. That's why they gave me no choice but to continue with it.*
*Why are you involved in this if it's such a delicate 'Intelligence' operation,* the Ratman wanted to know.
*Like I said, I don't work for Scientific. I never have. I have always worked for the same Bureau. Intelligence. As I said, I'm one of the best there is. Do not judge me on your own terms, by your own rules. I do what I must in order to do my job and stay alive and sane. It is people like me, people who have to be able to wall off their more sensitive feelings in order to face horrors like Agents or life inside the Matrix on a daily basis without going mad. People like me who put our lives on the line to keep people like you safe and provided with the data we all need. My only hope is to develop a weapon to destroy them." My voice was bleak, "And from what the Oracle has said, I will not live to see their destruction.*
I walked to the window and stood looking out, "I will not speak of this again. Do not ever raise the topic again. And I would advise you not to discuss what I have told you outside the group. The information you have just been privy to is highly classified. My Review Committee does not take kindly to leaks."
I walked towards the door, "Its time to go back, the party's over. Stay below until I come for you. I'll take you up the Harbormaster's office. Don't forget to submit your Agent Encounter Reports. I'll expect to see them in my inbox on Monday."
I opened the door and walked past Lisa, Anne and Jones without acknowledging them. I climbed up to the pilothouse and turned on Rob Zombie. He was screaming "Living Dead Girl" as I raised the anchor, started the engines and turned back to shore.
It was earlier than planned so the usual end of the day crowd was pushing their way into the Marina. I was not in the mood to be polite to any drunken skippers of the many smaller boats, so I forced my way through, flipping people off as I went. I docked her and went below to release the analysis team. They were cowering in one end of the lounge. Lisa and Anne were seated at the other end, casually chatting with Jones.
"All right, people, all ashore that's goin' ashore. Lisa, Anne, I'll be back for you. Jones, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." I turned around and was nearly crushed in a panicked stampede for the dock.
After seeing the unhappy scientists returned to the real world, I went back for Lisa and Anne. They were waiting for me on the dock, and we walked together back to the Harbormaster's office. The doors on the Rage were pretty thin and they had heard every word. They both hugged me before leaving. It had become pretty obvious that I was on the verge of totally losing it from all the stress in my life.
As I walked back to the dock, I wondered idly if Agent-induced stress was considered OJI. I picked up a frozen mudslide at the Harborside Lounge before I went back to the Rage. I checked my watch, still an hour or so of daylight. I might have to fight against all the incoming traffic, but it would be worth it to get out at sea alone for a change. It was certainly too noisy to hang around the Marina, all the boats were lit up and filled with people who were pretty lit up themselves. The Tent had just opened and they were playing loud music. Why did Saturday have to be 70's night? I hate disco almost as much as I hate 80's music. High-energy dance music? Don't go there.
I went up to the pilothouse and stood for a long moment looking out at the brilliant sunset. I had to pull myself together, tomorrow I was taking in a field team to beta test the chat function under field conditions and I couldn't freak out in the middle of it. I wasn't sure just how much more of Agent Jones I could take. I was really starting to fray around the edges because of my close contact with him.
I finished my drink while I headed her back out of the marina, plowing the road through the heavy traffic. Once clear of the breakwater, I lit up a joint and smoked it while I sped back out to my favorite spot. It was almost dark and I do like lying on my back and looking up at the beautiful but artificial stars. I've never seen real stars or a real sunset. We were the ones who scorched the sky to destroy the machines, and now we never see anything but roiling clouds on the few occasions when we venture up to the surface.
I dropped anchor and shut down the engines. I turned off all the lights and turned on the proximity warning system. I put on some classic Pink Floyd before I left the pilothouse. It was getting chilly after the heat of the day so I went below to put on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.
I was pulling the sweatshirt over my head when strong hands pulled it off and turned me around. Great, just great. This was not what I needed right now. "Jones, I thought I told you to get lost."
"No, you told me not to let the door hit me in the ass on the way out. The door of the lounge did not hit me in the ass on my way out."
I gave him a cold look and informed him curtly, "In other words, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." He looked lost as usual, "It means, the party's over, leave, get the fuck out."
"Oh. Do you not wish to spend some private time with me after everyone left?"
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, fighting for the control that had always been so effortless. Informing him how much I hated him was not a smart move at this moment, especially not accompanied by hysterical screaming and tears. "Jones, I've had a shit day, I need to be alone. Those cretins have pretty much pushed me over the edge with their doubts and disbelief."
"Yes, we are alone."
"I need to be alone, as in without you around. I need some private time to do the things I never let anyone see. I need to have hysterics, to cry, maybe even break stuff. I need to get back in control of myself."
"Why does my presence prevent you from doing these things?"
Why does he have to ask me so damned many questions. "Jones, you are part of what's got me all freaked out. It's getting to be too much for me to handle. Especially after what I saw today. I know it was my idea for you to dodge bullets, but I really didn't realize until I saw it for myself, just how fast you are. I'm not sure I can deal with this any longer."
He tried to put his arms around me, but I gave him a warning look and stepped back. He sighed, "You have known what I am all along. You called me a monster, threw up when I touched you. I assumed you were past all of that."
"Jones, don't flatter yourself. This has nothing to do with what I do with you. I've never seen the Agent program's combat functionality in action before, I've only heard about it. I've been training like mad recently in the hope of somehow surviving when Brown finally catches me. I've lost that hope. Now that I've seen how useless bullets are against an Agent, I've realized that I've been wasting my time wearing a sidearm all this time."
I turned away from him and swallowed hard. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes and I tried to will myself not to cry. I NEVER cry in front of anyone. The Oracle said my barriers would come down, but to have it happen in a storm of weeping in front of the enemy would be the worst humiliation. "I'm so scared, Jones. I really need some time alone." I had to rebuild them, otherwise I would be useless in the field tomorrow and people would get killed.
Jones came up behind me, turned me around and pulled me against his chest. I tried to push him away, but he remained immovable. Damned Agent. Shit. I felt the tears welling up and I lost control.
Normally, I cry quietly. I don't sniffle, sob or blubber. The tears just run silently down my face. This was not normal crying, it was more like hysterics. I wept buckets of tears, screamed and pounded my fists against his impervious chest. When I finally exhausted myself and went limp against him, he picked me up and carried me over to the bed. He undressed me and pulled up the covers. I rolled over and drifted off to sleep. I woke up briefly when the engines started up, but I didn't really care where Jones was driving my boat, all I wanted was oblivion.
RUN, RUN YOUR ASS OFF!
Ever since I can remember I've had a recurring nightmare of running away from Agent pursuing me. No matter what I do, how fast I run, he's always right behind me. At the same time the Oracle's voice tells me to stop and turn around and face my deliverance.
I woke up gasping and sweating and trapped under a heavy weight. I struggled to free myself from under the covers and the weight I was trapped under. I have a really difficult time waking up from one of my nightmares when I sleep in the Matrix.
I couldn't get free, the weight was resisting and I started to panic. I kicked and thrashed and whatever was on top of me grunted and shifted over. Finally free, I leapt to my feet and looked around wildly. I was panting, my chest heaving as I gasped for air. I smelled the distinctive odor of Agent, he was here somewhere, hiding, waiting to kill me. I backed up against the nightstand and reached in for my sidearm. I pulled out a gun, but it wasn't mine. It was the Agent's. I screamed.
The Agent jumped me from wherever he was hiding and pinned me against him. I struggled to raise the gun to a position where I could fire it into his disgusting machine's body. The Agent fought me for control of the weapon and I snarled and spat curses at him. The Agent pried the weapon from my fingers, and I stood trembling in his grip, waiting for my death at his hands.
"Phoenix, what's the matter with you?" Jones' voice finally awoke me from the grip of the nightmare.
"I'm OK, Jones, just a nightmare. " I pushed away from him and sat on the bed. My heart was pounding a mile a minute and I was shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. I watched numbly as he returned his weapon to the nightstand. I've had this nightmare before many times, but waking up with an Agent in my bed made it far worse.
He sat on the bed and draped an arm around my shoulders. I shrugged it off and got up and went to the closet to dress. I didn't' turn around until I had was completely dressed and I had recovered my composure. I knew what I had to do. A part of me cried out against that decision, but I told it rather firmly to shut up.
I turned around. Jones was sitting and watching me with a slightly confused look on his face. He held out his arms to me, but I shook my head at him. "No, Jones. I will not come to you to be held."
"Why not," he inquired as he lowered his arms, "I thought you enjoyed being held by me."
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "That's just it, if I let myself, I would enjoy it a lot."
I'd lost him, as usual. His expression was even more confused, "Then why do you say no?"
"Because I can't do this any longer. As I told you last night, I've lost my control over my emotions. Between you and Agent Brown, I am now very vulnerable, and that cannot be. I must regain my discipline and control."
"I thought that humans were supposed to be emotional and vulnerable, especially human women," he countered.
I sighed, and snapped, "Jones, in this situation, being emotional and vulnerable is the worst thing possible." I sat on the bed next to him and took his hand in mine, tracing the veins beneath the smooth hairless flesh. I began again in a softer voice filled with regret, "Jones, I'm in terrible danger."
"I know, Brown is out there looking for you, and nothing will stop him. If he was human I would say he was obsessed, but our kind are just very persistent once we locate a target."
"No, Jones, it is you who are the greatest danger to me." I twined the fingers of one hand through his and reached up with the other to stroke his face and run my fingers through his thick hair. "I am no longer impervious to your charms. If this goes on any longer, I'm going to develop an emotional attachment to you, and that I cannot allow."
"What is the harm in it? I still do not understand your refusal to experience those types of emotions. Perhaps it would be a good learning experience for you."
I snorted, "Jones, I've met someone who developed an emotional attachment for an Agent. I'm sure you remember "Agent" Tanner."
"Yes, that was very unfortunate. No one raised as a human can become an Agent without an intensive and very delicate conditioning process. Smith made some particularly bad mistakes with her."
I nodded slowly, "I've seen her just recently and she is pining away for him. I'm pretty certain she loves him and she can never see him again. It is possible for our kind to die of a broken heart. But there are no options available for her. She can never be allowed back into the Matrix. The Resistance has a zero tolerance policy against field operatives that develop emotional attachments to the enemy and then go over the wall."
He shrugged, "But that should not apply to you, you are only a scientist. Hardly of strategic importance to the Resistance."
Jones, if you only knew. "It applies to anyone who goes inside. We've had too many people betray us, and they've cost us heavily in lives. There is a procedure already in place. If I were to fall for you, and then switch sides, a committee will convene to determine my fate. I'll have a choice then-go to the nearest exit and leave the Matrix forever, or they will sever the connection."
I rested my head on his shoulder, "Hardly a win-win situation. I'd either be dead or end up pining away for someone who could not love me like poor Tanner. This is not a path I choose to walk." I raised my head and disengaged my hand from his, "Therefore, I must limit our contact to casual friendship. You can call me if you want to irritate me and be insulted in return. In time, I'll invite you back on the boat, but only as part of a group, and you will not share my bed again."
"Is this the 'I just want to be friends' speech I've read about in my research on human women?"
I laughed, "Yes, it is. I've given it many times. I would see that they were developing an emotional attachment and I'd hand them their walking papers. This time, the shoe's on the other foot, but I'm still the one saying not to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
I looked at him for a long moment before continuing, "This is also the only time I've regretted having to give that speech. This is very difficult for me, I don't want to do this, but I have no choice in this matter. It is simply not possible for me to have a relationship with you. Nor is it possible for me to continue having a sexual liaison with you without developing feelings for you."
I looked down at my hands and twisted them in my lap. Why was this so hard? I felt the tears welling up, but as I'd already cried once in front of him, I didn't fight them. Jones saw the moisture dripping off my cheeks. He turned my face to him and wiped it with a handkerchief that he had produced from thin air. I couldn't stop the sob that burst from my throat and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me close and stroked my hair while I drowned him in tears.
When I'd finally cried myself dry, I pushed myself away from him and stood up. I took one last look at his magificent self and informed him that it was time he got dressed.
"I believe there is a human concept of 'one for the road'", he commented inquiringly.
I gave him a dirty look, "No, Jones. You need to hit the road." I walked out and went up on deck to see where the hell he'd driven her last night. I found that he'd returned the Rage to the Marina the night before and had even tied her up properly. I went up to the pilothouse and secured everything before returning to the stern to wait for him to emerge.
He came up the stairs and walked right up to me and pulled me against him tightly. He rested his chin on my head and sighed.
"Jones," my voice was somewhat muffled by having my face buried against his lapel, "don't you dare make me start crying again. " I felt the chuckle rumble in his chest.
He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up. His mouth came down on mine, and my head swam with desire. Damn him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and clutched him tightly as I kissed him passionately for the last time.
Jones ran his fingers slowly down my spine, giving me one last orgasm, standing there in full view of the world on the rear deck of the Rage. It was a quiet one, but a good one. I broke the embrace and stepped back from him. I grinned up at him, "Fine, that was the one, now hit the road."
He smiled back and turned to climb over to the dock. I watched him with a lump in my throat as he walked away until he was lost in the crowd of boaters and tourists. I wondered what Tanner would say when she found out I'd just dumped an Agent.
I turned and went below and did what I always do when I'm feeling emotional. I put on Rob Zombie and cleaned the shit out of that boat. I stripped the bed, did the laundry, cleaned up after the party in the lounge. When I finished, the Rage was sparkling, gleaming, disinfected and deodorized.
I secured her and left her bobbing quietly at anchor as I walked down the dock in the direction of sushi. Sushi always makes me feel better. I had to skip the beer as I was going into the field later tonight with a team of operatives that I'd been training in the new chat functionality. This was to be the first test of it under field conditions. I was only along to observe and document. I would also be alpha testing an additional piece of functionality from the Immortal Kombat game that had never been attempted before in the Matrix, but was theoretically possible.
Fortunately, I had a good team, led by Morpheus and Trinity to go in with. The chance of encountering Agent Brown was still there, but I was going to be with some of our most experienced operatives. I was just finishing my last cucumber roll when my Operator notified me that it was time for me to head to the rendezvous point to meet the team as they came in. He gave me an address in one of the worst parts of town. Lovely place, crime, bars, derelicts, bars, housing projects, bars, and a large factory that produces blades and razors.
I went to the Harbormaster's office and opened a door into the nearby subway station on Broadway, I'd been there a few times. I walked down the street with my hands in my pockets and my head down. The address turned out to be a crumbling tenement and I climbed in the back window and went up the twisting staircase. I heard a phone ringing, and by the time I reached it, Morpheus was just answering it. "We're in."
Morpheus led us out on to the street, strictly by mental commands. I was nervously alert as I remained in the middle of the group. A large abandoned mill nearby was to serve as our training grounds, allowing the team to split up and play hide-and-go-seek, keeping in contact using the chat only. I found a comfortable resting place and mentally observed the team for a while before activating the new function.
One of the standard features of the game was a tactical view that could be activated during the random combat mode. That mode enabled the player to enter a simulated area filled with people, anyone who could become one of the game's bad guys at any given moment. I had based it on the Agent's abilities to appear without warning, but most of the actual bad guys were the same ones from Mortal Kombat. Only the highest level opponents had been replaced with Agents, and it required the player to learn special cheats to be able to play against them, except in practice mode.
I activated the tactical view, which worked as flawlessly in the Matrix as in the Construct-based game. I located everyone on our team, and then noticed that we had company. I stood up and shouted mentally, *Run, run your ass off, it's an Agent.*
Morpheus rounded us all up and we pounded after him through the empty building up and down halls. I wasn't able to concentrate enough to use the tactical view. With further testing and more training, it could prove a lifesaver to a field operative as it allowed you to look back, without actually looking back.
I could hear the Agent pounding after us. I hadn't been able to identify him from the tactical view, it's not that detailed, and as I ran I reviewed the programming modifications needed to allow it to magnify on a selected target.
Morpheus gave a mental order, *Everybody split up, he can only chase one of us at a time. Operator, we need an exit fast.*
I peeled off to the right and ran down a long, dark hallway, praying desperately that he'd found someone else besides me to chase. I couldn't hear any sounds besides the blood pounding in my ears and my feet pounding on the floor. Empty doorways filled with shadows only made me run faster. Somewhere, there had to be a door left on it's hinges in this building.
Trinity announced she was clear, Morpheus seconded her, and the rest of the team followed. I came to a flight of stairs and I flew up them, taking them two and three at a time. When I reached the top, I flipped on the tactical for a second. It was my old friend from the Box, Agent Brown and he was right behind me. *I'm not clear, I've got an Agent on my tail. Everybody get to safety, I'm the one he's 'looking for'.*
Morpheus knew better than to question a direct order from a superior, and the rest of the team left the building. I ran down the hall and found the open doorway to the fire escape. I climbed up it, hearing him just below me as I desperately leapt up entire flights at a time. Finally, I reached the rooftop and I tore across it, heading for the neighboring building. Somewhere in this horrible neighborhood, there had to be a door.
I leapt high into the air and jumped across the alley and landed lightly on the next roof. I bolted as I heard the impact of Brown's shiny loafers behind me. The next gap was considerably wider and I leapt a split second before Brown followed me. My trajectory was a little high and I landed a second after he did and smashed right into him. Before he could grab me, I stepped back from him. I'm not sure why I did it, only that it was instinct after playing Mortal Kombat as Liu Kang for so many years. I went down on one knee and activated his fireball cheat that I included in my version of the game. I didn't stop to think about whether or not it would work in the Matrix. I just fired it, right at his chest. and knocked him flat on his back.
He was only stunned for a second but that's all I needed, I stepped forward and put the muzzle of my gun between his eyes. He looked very surprised when I squeezed the trigger. There was a flash of green light, a whiff of ozone and Agent Brown was gone. In his place was a plump young woman with long curly blond hair.
OH MY GOD! I'VE KILLED AMY! YOU BASTARDS
I stood there staring down in shock and horror. I'd never killed another human being before. And I knew this woman, Brown's late host. I screamed, "Oh my God, I've killed Amy! You bastards!"
I knelt beside her and removed my jacket. I folded it under her head and closed her eyes. He had chosen the most harmless, sweetest person I knew to use to host his monstrous kernel. And I'd killed her. She knew nothing of Agents, or the Matrix, or what I did for a living. She was totally innocent. And I'd killed her.
I heard footsteps approaching and I saw shiny loafers and dark trouser cuffs entering my field of vision. Brown, back to finish the job. How could this be deliverance? I sighed, and addressed him in a voice choked with grief, "Go ahead, do it, I don't care. I have no wish to live after this."
He knelt facing me across the body, "Your first kill, Phoenix?"
It wasn't Brown, it was my good buddy Jones. I went a little crazy. I reached out and grabbed his tie and pulled his face to within inches of my own. I snarled at him, "Do you know what that sonofabitch did?"
He shook his head, "No. What did he do? We do not talk much."
I ground out, "Look at her. Do you remember her?"
He looked down, and his eyes widened and he looked back up at me, "That is your friend, Amy. Dave's girlfriend."
"Yes. He used one of MY friends as his host, and I shot him all unknowing. I'd rather he killed me than this." I let go of him and buried my face in my hands. My whole body shook with my weeping. Jones stood up and came around next to me. He pulled me up and gathered me in his arms while I cried for Amy. The Oracle had been right, I was suffering the loss of someone dear to me.
I addressed him, "Amy was the sweetest, nicest person I've ever known. The total opposite of me. I lead with my head, she has always led with her heart. And now, she's gone because of me. I killed my dear friend and all I did was inconvenience Brown."
I raised my head and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm now immune to your charms again, Jones, thanks to this little escapade."
He brightened, "So then we can go back to where we left off?" his eyes warmed and he stroked my face, a pleased smile dawning on his face.
I pushed myself away from him and regarded him coldly. "How can you even suggest such a thing, standing here over the body of my dead friend. No, Agent Jones, never. I never wish to have any contact with any your kind again." I turned my back on him and walked over to the edge of the roof and jumped off.
I landed lightly and walked down the street until I found a doorway that hadn't been boarded shut. I broke the padlock and walked through it, emerging in my office. I sat at my desk, turned on my laptop and entered my reports. I documented the party and its aftermath, winding up with Amy's death. I forwarded it to the usual distribution list.
I created another report regarding the functionality testing and forwarded it to my boss, Lisa, Anne, and the development team. I rubbed my eyes and I felt the rage building up inside me. I did what I normally do when my anger gets out of control.
I put on some Limp Bizkit and proceeded to break stuff. I started with my Rogue's Gallery. I whipped them off the wall, one at a time and smashed each grim face under my heel. That was a good start, I looked around for more things to destroy.
Paperweights and my stapler thudded against the wall. I picked up my laptop and threw it the length of the office, where it bounced off the window. Thank heavens for bulletproof glass. I do go through a lot of laptops. They are so lightweight and easy to throw, but regrettably fragile. I overturned my chair and swept my desk clear with one arm. I scrawled a few choice insults against Agents Jones and Brown before calling for an exit.
I surveyed the wreckage with a satisfied smile as I listened to the phone ring. I answered it and opened my eyes back in the real world. A world that Amy would never see, she had lived her whole life without knowing the truth of her existence.
I returned to my quarters and turned on my laptop there. This was one I couldn't destroy willfully. Unlike my Matrix-created laptop, this wasn't so easily replaceable. I opened my inbox and ground my teeth together when I saw that there was a message from AgentBrown. He'd apparently decided to quit trying to be cute with the AB series of usernames. I'd set a wildcard in my spam filter and none of them were getting through.
I deleted the message without reading it. I had better things to do with my time. It was very early Monday morning, but my boss answered his phone, so I went to see him. He and the Oracle are the only people I can discuss the situation with openly. They know all my secrets. He was very excited about the fact that the tactical view and the fireball cheat had functioned in the Matrix.
When I got back several hours later, there was another message from Brown. Annoyed, I opened it. All he said was, "You are full of surprises."
I replied, "Brown, stop taunting me. I've lost someone dear to me thanks to you. Go to whatever the machine's form of Hell is."
I sent it and shut off my computer. I stretched out on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time before I fell asleep.
It was late Monday afternoon before I woke up. I went down to the mess, downed a bowl of miserable slop and went to my real-world office. My research analysis and development teams had replied to the reports I had forwarded and I spend the rest of the day working. I cancelled all of my meetings for the rest of the week and went to the transmission room to log into the Construct.
I entered the world of Immortal Kombat and activated the one-on-one combat mode. I chose to play as myself instead of my usual Liu Kang character. I chose Agent Brown to be my opponent and he appeared in the arena opposite me. I set his abilities a few notches below accurate-I was just looking to try a few cheats. The setting I had chosen was a windswept promontory overlooking the ocean. Heavy clouds roiled overhead and jagged bolts of lighting forked across the sky overhead. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Tanner had consulted on the environmental settings. She's very good with weather. It fit my gloomy feelings.
A bored-sounding mechanical voice instructed us to "Fight!" and I lunged at him. I hit him with a low kick followed by a high punch. He blocked them easily and aimed a chop at my neck. I used a cheat from another, sliding backwards at high speed to evade him. I leapt forward and up in a flying kick, catching him square in the face. A midair backflip and I was on my feet across the arena again. I spat Reptiles' venom in his face and made a kill.
The mechanical voice congratulated me and I bowed. The second round started and I threw Scorpion's spear at him, then pulled him across the arena to me and hit him with an uppercut. His energy dropped nicely after that blow. He punched at me and I sidestepped him and grabbed him around the neck, turning him backwards and cracking his back with my knee. "Outstanding," announced the voice. A bicycle kick caused him to stagger and I hit him with a fireball and engaged the fatality cheat. His bloody bones rained down all over me. "Phoenix wins, Flawless Victory. Fatality." It was a hollow victory, I'd have to try this again with him at full strength.
The Operator announced I had a phone call and I paused the play, opening my eyes in the chair. He handed me the phone, it was Dave. My throat tightened up and tears started to flow as I listened to him. He sounded still in shock.
"Phoenix, Amy's gone. They found her body in Southie, in a terrible neighborhood. No one knows how she got there or what happened. Someone shot her." Not someone, me.
"I'm sorry, Dave. She was one of the sweetest people I know." Sorrier than I can ever admit.
He informed me that the funeral was the following day in her hometown of North Attleboro and I promised to attend. After the memorial service, Dave would be taking the Highlander out to sea to scatter her ashes. All of her friends would be there to drink a rumcoke and smoke a joint in her memory.
I got out of the chair and left the room. I wasn't sure how to get through this day. How can someone's murderer be her mourner as well? I lay on my bed late into the night, trying to figure out how to use the Kombat game's cheats as a weapon to destroy first the Agents and then all the machines. Somehow, there had to be a way. It would require more testing in the field to determine what else worked inside and how it worked against Agents.
I logged in to the Matrix just in time to meet the limo I had arranged for outside the front of the building. The driver was one of us, another long-time veteran field operative. He was not a talker, so I enjoyed peace and quiet on the drive down. I stared out the window and watched the unreal world flow by.
Too soon, we arrived at the church where the service would be held. The driver helped me out and I dismissed him to return to the real world. I was going to the boat with Dave and Tom and I'd get an exit from the dockside. I straightened my jacket and tugged down my skirt before walking up the steps. Dave met me just inside the front doors and I hugged him tightly. He led me into the church and I sat in a pew between him and Tom, our hands clasped together. Just like old times, the roommates back together again.
Because she had been cremated, there was no casket. Only flowers everywhere. I had sent a wreath of peach-colored roses. She loved flowers. At least in death she would be surrounded with them. I let go of Tom's hand to open my purse, I had an entire box of Kleenex jammed in there. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose before gripping his hand again.
I felt someone's eyes on me and I turned around, scanning the pews to see which of my old gang had just arrived. They were all there, Perry looking stoned, Hayward looking shocked, Lisa and Becky clutching each other and crying, Kirk and Chris talking quietly, Woody, Bradshaw, and a few others I recognized but whose names eluded me. One other I recognized and his name was very familiar. Agent Brown was sitting in the back row staring at me. He nodded briefly when our eyes met.
I snapped around and faced the front. I knew that Agent decorum would not allow him to blow his cover in front of a church filled with his slaves. I had to follow a similar set of rules, and I took a deep, aggravated breath and concentrated on the hands I held. Human hands, my friends hands. I knew from my inventory of the church that he was not currently occupying the bodies of any of my friends. That made me feel slightly better.
The service itself seemed endless, Dave got up and gave the eulogy for his dead girlfriend. The church echoed with his clear voice and the muted sobs of the mourners. I felt like the worst traitor in the world as I sat surrounded by people who did not understand her senseless death. I hated Agent Brown in that moment more than I'd ever hated the sentient programs in my life. Not only was he intruding on a rather private ceremony, but he was as responsible as I was for her death.
When the time came to leave the church for the boat, Dave led the way, Amy's ashes cradled in his arms. I followed right behind him , my face set, my back ramrod straight, eyes resolutely forward. I refused to look in Agent Brown's direction. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
He was waiting on the stairs and he fell in beside me as I passed him. His fingers gripped my upper arm, "You will come with me," he informed me in his soft, musical voice.
"No," I hissed at him. "This isn't over yet. We are going out to sea to scatter her ashes. You are going to have to wait until after we return to the dock. Then I will cooperate with you."
"I will come with you," he announced.
"You will not, " my voice was firm. "There is no way for me to explain your presence. This is for her friends only."
"I will drive you to the marina, then, and I will wait for you there." His voice brooked no further objections.
I sighed, "Very well." I turned back to Tom and told him that I would meet them at the boat. I let Brown lead me to a black Crown Victoria. Like the gallant gentleman he wasn't, he opened the car door and handed me in. He walked around the car and got in the driver's seat. He started the car and followed Tom's truck out of the parking lot.
NEXT INSTALLMENT: REMEMBER THE TIME…