Authors Note: So, out of boredom and because I convinced Alaska McCormick on how awesome RVB is, we tried something. Both of us would write a story to "Never Ever" and "Hangover". Basically I did the Tuckington version here and she did the Grimmons version.

I will upload the 'Never Ever' and the 'Hangover' part in each two chapters because I think it's a little to long if each gets only on chapter.

Anyway…

English is not my native language so if you see mistakes or errors, just go ahead and tell me (how to fix it).

Chapter 1: The game

Truth be told, Wash wasn't sure anymore how he ended up in this situation. They actually went 'home' rather soon from the party to celebrate the reunion of Chorus. And no one was really drunken yet. He just knew he was going to fully and utterly blame Carolina for every single shit that was going to happen. Sure, they wanted to celebrate that at least the civil part of the war was over and they were still all alive. That was okay, considering what they faced they did great. But playing never ever? They were way too old for that, Wash thought. But Carolina that traitor had actually agreed on it. He really didn't think she would. At least everyone agreed on one thing though: rather play never ever than spin the bottle or truth and dare with a group from mainly guys.

"This is ridicules, Sarge" Wash pointed out and stared at the oldest amongst them. Their team, whatever you could call it when they worked together, had gotten an old house in the middle of Armonia as quarter. There were sharing rooms by two. And Grey was here too. Somehow they didn't get her off at all since the teleportation and since she patched him and Tucker up after the fight. Basically she was the much more scary but also much more competent replacement for Doc (where was he anyway?)

"You said that before, Agent Washington. Yer still outnumbered though", Sarge returned with an arrogant chuckle. Wash shook his head. "Yes I… no, that's not what I meant. I was talking about this." This time the former Freelancer pointed at the wall from pillows, boxes and blankets between them. Sarge, Donut, Grif and Simmons were on one side, he, Tucker, Caboose and Carolina on the other. Grey sat on one of the boxes with glasses and different bottles of alcohol. Wash knew none of these. Well, seeing how many alcohol was to be found in the universe, no surprise.

"We need some cover in the fight against the enemy", Sarge tells him dead serious. Before Wash could argue that this was even more ridicules, Carolina cut in. "This will be very effective, I'm sure." She said that in her absolute deadpan voice while her face was the perfect pokerface. They were all wearing sleeping clothes because they didn't really have anything else besides the armor.

"So are you fuckers now gonna play? Or just sit around?" Epsilon asked them as he flickered up over Carolinas shoulder. "And who will start?" Donut asked curiously. "Well... I say Grey. Because she is the newest… addition… to our… frienemies... whatever the fuck we actually are group."

"Oh great!" she exclaims and rubbed her hands anticipation. Grey had brown hair tied to a braid and brown eyes. She looks like the average lady from next door that hid the fact that she was completely crazy pretty well. Until she started talking. "So I never ever had something sexual with someone after I cut them open!"

Silence filled the almost dark room and everyone, without exception, was staring at Grey. She however smiled like a Cheshire. "Why does she stress after like that?" Grif asked somewhat insecure. After no one said or did anything, Tucker was the one to speak up. "Okay, let's continue. Seems like no one has to drink here." Only after he said that the teal soldier noticed that everyone was now looking at him. "What? Grif cracks jokes about necrophilia, not me. I'm a lover, not a crazy surgeon."

"Yeah... but someone did something with the bodies", Caboose said thoughtfully. "And got infected."

"No one did anything with the bodies!" both Epsilon and Wash replied, though second considerably calmer than first.

"Fucking gross, Caboose. Can we just go on?"

Now Tucker grinned and leaned back against the wall. He crossed his arms behind his head when he almost sung: "I never ever had a girlfriend with a dick!" He hardly finished when a pillow hit him right in the face. "You fucker", Grif snapped at him before he turned to Grey. "But fine, give me a fucking drink." Grey does happily as told and only shortly squints at Donut who holds his hands out too. "Well he wasn't really a girl but he was sort of my girlfriend and had a dick. I just want to play fair here."

There are a few disgusted noises but no one was going to ask anything.

"So now it's my turn or what?" Grif asked. He sat with Simmons on the old couch they had in the living room and Sarge was on the ground with Donut because it was 'more secure'. "So I could be a boring asshole and say 'I never ever got knocked up by an alien.' But I'm cooler than that. So I'm gonna say I never ever did any SM stuff." Everyone was looking at each other as if to make sure that they oneself wouldn't be the only one to drink in that case.

"So… does that include biting and scratching?" Epsilon asked what he knew Carolina wondered. She didn't say it though because it would be strange considering she wasn't going to drink either way. "Uh… I think if it bleeds?" Grif says almost unsure. Not that he was not interested in sex, even as lazy as he was. But weird shit like that? No thank you. Grey meanwhile filled the glasses again and held one up. "Who's gonna toast on that!?" she hollered. No one was surprised when Tucker and Donut reached for a glass and raised it too.
"Because you always have to expand your horizon!" Donut said.

"Exactly!"

However, everyone was surprised when Sarge as well as Wash reach for a glass. "Good ole peccadillo", he grunted and downed his drink as if it was nothing. Wash was more reluctant because he really was unhappy with everyone looking at him now. "Just to clarify", he said firmly. "It does not mean that I like it." While Caboose next to him asks Epsilon if he should drink, Grif actually laughed at that comment. "Yeah looking at you now I wouldn't believe it", he taunted. Suppressing the urge to show the orange soldier the middle finger by reminding himself that he was not that low, Wash only presented him with a fuck you glare. Unlike Carolina or Tucker he suffered no grave wound per se. But having bone bruises and his whole body battered by someone like Locus didn't have him better off. He also knew that you still could see many yellowish bruises, especially the marks on his throat.

"So after we had Red teams turn it's Blue teams turn again", Epsilon announced then and one could almost see his grin. "And since we apparently go that road now, I never ever had a one night stand." He definitely was curious to who was going to drink.
"You just want to ensure I have to drink, too", Carolina said with a smirk as she took a glass from Grey. She was in an almost playful mood by now. Though she wasn't really drunken yet Wash knew she had some drinks with Kimball on the party. But Carolina was good in holding her liquor.

"You are a girl for one night? Why never spent one with me!? Bow- uh, okay, murder glare, I won't ask more, don't kill me!" Tucker quickly grabbed a drink before Carolina was going to murder him with her mere glare. Maybe she did the laser face too.

"Well… I wish that we met again but, uh, destiny wasn't on our side I guess", said Donut to explain why he was drinking. Grif also took a glass and said: "I swear, there was no cock in it but I still rather don't remember it." After everyone was done with the drink Grif leaned over to Simmons to elbow him. The Dutch-Irish man seemed even more uncomfortable than Wash thought he was feeling himself. "Your turn, nerd. Bet you have a huge list of things you never did."

Simmons had been really quiet so far but now he shot Grif a glare. "Shut up, peabrain", he said and stopped to fumble on his sleeves. Wash remembered that he had been quite shocked when he first saw slim as a rank man with all his metal body parts. And Grif with his body that looked like a rag rug. And as they hardly saw each other out of armor he still wasn't really used to it. "So I never ever had a sexual in... er, relationship."

"So… since we had on night stands separated that doesn't count here?", Tucker asked but was largely ignored.

The half-cyborg manages to save himself but of course Grif saw right through it. "Uuh, what a surprise there. You are so boring", he now mocked his teammate. He was pretty damn sure Simmons never had sexual interactions. He was a prudent and on top of that hardly able to talk to a girl in the first place. "And I bet you wanted to say sexual in-"

"Grif", Simmons hissed warningly but the human part of his face was already red like a tomato.

He was saved from further teasing and embarrassment by Washington, though very unconventionally.

"You got to be fucking kidding me."

To everyone's surprise it was only the Ex-freelance that reached out for one of the glasses that Grey already had prepared. This time he downed the drink in one go like Sarge did before. He put the glass back and then dropped back against the wall next to Tucker. He doesn't acknowledge that the action made his still bruised shoulder hurt.

"Dude, really? Never thought you were that kind of guy", Tucker stated with honest surprise. Washington glanced over at the dark skinned man next to him. He snorted. "You don't really know me, Tucker."

The sim trooper frowned and considered the answer he got before he leaned over. "Not my fault entirely", he said quietly enough so the others couldn't hear it. "Ya loved her but messed it up to ever tell her?"

Wash turned his head again to look at Tucker. He was really close. And why wasn't he asking that loudly if he had to ask at all? "No. And you know what? I wish I had put a bullet through her head that day instead of starting this", Wash replied coldly and even if Tucker wasn't very sensitive he knew that this meant he better shut his trap.

"Can I say something now? Can I? Can I? Please, please-"

"Okay, YES! Fine Caboose, whatever you have to say."

Caboose made a face as if he was thinking hardly about what he wanted to say. He even suck out his tongue and frowned. You could see how something came in his mind that he seemed to think was brilliant. "I never ever was a gay robot!" he announced happily. Multiple people in the room hit their forehead and Epsilon certainly wished he could actually do that too. "I fucking hate you, Caboose."

Since Epsilon couldn't drink they had a special rule for him. Whenever something was said he had done, he would have to explain the story. "So, Church, I remember you told Caboose you are a gay robot", Tucker pointed out with amusement. Carolina snickered and glanced at the hologram. Her hair was open for the first time since they knew her and a bloody red waterfall seemed to fall over her shoulders. As more time she spent with them as more laid-back she became. She still kicked their asses if they acted too stupid though. "I'd like to hear that story", she said with an amused glim in her eyes. Epsilon groaned. "There is no fucking story! I just tried to explain Tucker and Caboose that Tex was not a guy but a girl and my ex-girlfriend and that she had cybernetic enhancements since the program. Caboose with his non-existing brain figured that means I'm a gay robot for whatever reason."

Grey giggled on her box. "Uuuuh, definitely wanna psychoanalyze him!"

Donut meanwhile got himself a glass and holds it to Simmons. But instead of taking it Simmons stareed at Donut. "Uhm… Donut? What the fuck are you doing?"

"Being nice and handing you the drink", the blonde said cheerfully. "As half a cyborg you are a robot. And since you love Grif, you are gay. Or at least bisexual."

Now Simmons literally stared at his teammate for a few seconds until his brain caught up. "I'm not in love with Grif!" he almost squeaked. "But you are almost a married couple!" Donut insisted while he climbed on the couch between Grif and Simmons. "We're not a couple", the orange soldier complains as he moves to the save end o the couch. Donut meanwhile tried to make Simmons drink, saying there was no shame in it. Caboose at some point decides to help his friend. Which basically meant that it was no surprise Simmons was showered with three glasses alcohol and almost squished under the two at the end of the tussle.

They all had some alcohol so far and that made the whole scenario even more amusing. Who wasn't tussling was either laughing or making comments on it.

Wash grinned too and Tucker next to him laughed loudly –until his wound in the stomach started to hurt again. "Owowowow", he whined then and curled forward. "That fucking hurts…" Wash leaned over to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah just… ugh, couldn't that ass have stabbed me in the leg or something?"

Epsilon was observing the whole situation. Since he was a A.I his brain worked so quick that he also didn't miss anything even if so much was going on (just to mention, he was even able to pick up that not only Simmons but also Grifs face temperature raised since they suggested the two were a couple).

But right now his main focus was on Wash and Tucker who were leaning over to each other and talking quietly. He'd seen them talk in hushed voices a lot with each other lately. They were around each other a lot in the first place. Also the interactions were different. Sure it was obvious they were on friendlier ground than before. But that wasn't all. Epsilon couldn't quite name it but they seemed to be in each others personal space occasionally and no one seemed to mind. Especially for Wash that was unusual. However, Epsilon was also sure they didn't do it on purpose or consciously. And there was nothing going on in particular. But something was there, he bet.

"You know in the past they said homosexuality was in the genetics. My I check that on you?" asked Grey with a hysterical giggle. Donut, Caboose and Simmons stop in their movement and stare at her. "Oh god, please no. I'd rather take a glass of that stuff!" Simmons said quickly. Because Grey sure would like to cut him open or what else came to her mind.

After Simmons unwillingly drunk his shot as well Carolina stretched her arms up. She was really good looking even in the old, very worn out 'I 3 NY'-shirt. Thought Wash was the only one to know the story behind it.

"So, let's make this my turn", she said with a good-humored smile. Tucker liked slightly tipsy and mellow Carolina much more than her usual cranky self. "I never ever had a mental blackout."

Tucker as well as Grif were eying her at that because in fact, Carolina drunk quite something already before they came back. So the two of them were wondering if Carolina really never drunk too much. Then again considering what she all drunk before she was acting nicer but pretty much normal. However, neither of them dared to question it and so the two took a glass. Caboose reached for a glass too. "Er… Caboose, we talk about alcohol caused mental blackouts", Epsilon pointed out. "Yeah... they are mean too. Black outs are better than lights out, though. But I don't like either of them. And I'm thirsty. "

It was really amazing how Caboose never failed to astonish everyone with his inexplicable way of thinking. Right now Epsilon didn't really have the nerve to try to correct him and for once. Not even Wash bothered. He just sighed, muttering that Caboose having one shot couldn't be that bad.

Sarge also took a glass with a predatory grin. "It's part of every man growin' up!" he announced and already downed the drink without waiting up as if it was water.

"Yeah, that's why Simmons I no real man", Grif teased as he drunk his own liquor. He glanced over at Simmons who had his head titled back, eyes closed. He looked like he was going to fall a sleep right away. "Then again, he has an alcohol tolerance from less than zero."

"That doesn't seem physically possible…" the maroon soldier slurred and titled his head to Grifs side. "And don't argue with science."

"See? That's what I meant." When Grif puts his empty glass back, Grey just holds a filled one to Wash while she has one of her one. "You should know we talk about alcohol-"

"I know", Wash cut in, his voice not simply firm but also a little harsh. He unwillingly touched glasses with Grey who insists on it before he leans against the wall next to Tucker again. Sure he knew Grif was kind of annoying but he didn't think the orange soldier was the kind of guy to be a dick when getting drunken.

"Well, I can confirm that one", Carolina said with a light chuckle as she looked over to the other Freelancer. Her comment however was answered with an eye roll. "Thank you for the support", Wash said dryly.

"So well, now it's Donut time and I'd like everyone to know I never ever got in trouble with the police!" Donut said proudly. He was a good man that followed the law at all time and helped the weak and poor. Or something like that.

This time Caboose wass the first to happily take a glass. "Yeah, they are nice. Bringing me home a lot when I was lost. It was fun."

Tucker rolled his eyes and reached for a glass again and so did Grif. "Yeah, disturbing the night rest, vandalism, minor thievery, getting a car damaged without license, picking fights and sexual harassment and stuff", Tucker explains with a shrug. "Yeah, me too", Grif said but then paused. "Except for the sexual harassment thing."

It was funny to watch how Simmons next to Grif was falling asleep and dropped against Grif. The orange soldier would shove him back what woke him up again. For like ten seconds before he dozed off and dropped against Grif again.

"Picking fights in a club is also part of mens way to grow up", Sarge said again and downed the third drink. It didn't seem like he was affected by the stuff at all. "So we again have a reason why Simmons isn't really a man", Grif grumbled. But Simmons no longer cared about it. It seemed like all he wanted to do was sleep leaned against Grif. Which the orange soldier tried to avoid.

Carolina also took a drink and when everyone looked at her she shrugged lightly. "I also have peccadillos", she explained with a smirk. And after she emptied her glass she said, "It involves fights in a club and a stolen car and such. No damage done, however." Wash could imagine that York had his hands in this too. He knew the two were a couple already before the project.

Wash was the last to take a glass in this round and Tucker gave him curious look. "You were in trouble with the police? Seriously? What would someone rule-obsessed like you do?"

While drinking the bitter liquor slowly, Washington gave his teammate an unhappy glance. When he was done he explained in the plainest voice: "I've been in jail, remember? Three counts dereliction of duty, eight counts of conspiracy to commit treason and seven counts destruction of protected classified military property. That was plenty reason to keep me there the rest of my life or execute me." He also had been in trouble with the police after throwing in a window on dare when he was really young. But that didn't seem very important.

"Uh. Okay, good point."

They were all buzzed at that point. Some more, some less. Some knew how to handle it better, others less. Grif and Carolina sure where from the more buzzed. Carolina was unusual playful and Grif was being a dick. The only one who really was wasted so far however was Simmons from the one glass he had. He was now definitely asleep and peacefully leaning against Grif. The orange soldier obviously gave up on shoving him away. Instead he went to awkwardly pat Simmons head with one hand. It was a weird picture, somehow. Especially considering the two were nagging at each other most of the time. And seeing that Grif apparently was a mean drunken.

"Oh, look at how cute they are", Donut said as he saw this. "I wish I had a camera." While Grif was about to say something Sarge already cut in. "After we had some essential things in growing from a boy to a man I will check if you all as honorable and good ole schooled as I am", he started I his Hucklebarry accent that was even harder to understand when he was being drunken. "I never ever had more than one girl at once."

"Yeah surprise. Who would do that? I mean one alone is stressful enough. But two at the same time? Or two parallel? That would be a killer", Grif groaned. He had shifted slightly so Simmons wasn't in such an awkward position to lean on him. After all the Dutch-Irish guy was quite a bit taller. In fact, he was the tallest amongst them. Not even Wash was quite as tall as he was.

Tucker got a glass handed over by Grey after she saw his wide grin. "That one is on me or what?" To Tuckers surprise however also Wash beaconed at Grey for another shot. "Seriously? I never thought you would have to drink on that kind of shit", Tucker said honestly surprised. Wash took his drink and snorted. It was actually the first time he was drinking since the implantation with Epsilon. He used to be a happy drinker like Carolina. Just way more affectionate. But now when his head started to feel slightly like it was swimming, he just felt kind of careless and maybe irritated. He was comfortable sitting next to Tucker with their shoulder almost touching. But asides from that he wanted to go to bed finally and have his peace.

Well, huh, that seemed to be just another thing about him Epsilon screwed over.

"Pretty much all thanks to the same one." Carolina glanced over at him, her brows furred. Wash could see how she was thinking and even with her being rather drunken she slowly made a pictures out of what he said, to what he drunk and from what she already knew. But before his former leader had the time to open her mouth Wash already snorted. "I don't even want to hear it, Carolina." Event though the redhead was drunken, she was not busted enough to not understand the situation. As said, she handled her liquor better than many guys.

Wash would have wanted to tell her he shot South and that he still wasn't sorry about it at all. But he didn't. He was feeling edgy as more the alcohol was affected him but he still didn't want to fight with Carolina about something like that.

"Well", Grif suddenly said while still patting a sleeping and mumbling Simmons snuggled up to him. "Seems like you aren't only disloyal in battle, huh?"

Tucker had his glass on his lips and frowned at Grif. Now that seemed really low down considering what Wash went through with them since. And when the Freelancer didn't react Tucker first thought he should actually say something because, hey, that wasn't fair, right?

But Wash wordlessly downed his drink and put down the glass on the ground. He leaned back against the wall next to Tucker and flipped his head back so to get the overgrowing bangs out of his eyes. What came next was kind of unexpected from Washington. He just showed the orange soldier the middle finger in the most cocky yet indifferent 'up yours' manner Tucker had seen in years.

Grif then stared at the Ex-Freelancer like he just grew a second head and Tucker started laughing and chocking on his drink. But he wasn't the only one who was cracking up on Grifs incredulous stare.

"I guess that was a good example for things that say more than a thousand words", Donut pointed out then. After everyone, except Grif who was still having a what-the-fuck-just-happened-look on his face, calmed down Wash took the word again. "So after that is cleared, it's my turn", He actually sounded quite satisfied with himself. And even more when he gave Grif and Simmons a thoughtful look and said, "I never ever had something going on with a guy."

Grif squinted angrily at Wash but this time he said nothing. Not so surprisingly Donut, Carolina and Grey reached for a glass. "Dude, Dalana had a dick, so you need to drink, too", Tucker reminded Grif.

"She was no guy! Just uh, a girl with... additions. And I found out about the dick before the sex."

"Yeah but you made out before. That is something. Also, girl with dick means he's a guy", Tucker replied and reached for a glass as well what brought him a curious glance from Wash. He shrugged. "I'm not picky. I take everything. Sex is sex."

"I, uh, wouldn't agree to that", Wash said with slight disgust. Everything. Well, okay. He didn't ask for details for a good reason. "Yeah, apparently you take everything. Even alien", Grif commented. "Weren't you supposed to drink?" Donut asked what caused to Hawaiian to groan. "You know what? Screw it and give me a fucking shot."

Donut smiles ominously as he handles him a glass. Seemed like Grif didn't want to move too much and wake Simmons up.

"And besides, only the one giving the ass is gay. The other one is just flexible."

"I like the way you think, Grif."

Carolina was heard to giggle and Epsilon groaned in desperation. "Oh god, if you are going to keep that conversation up, I'll be out of here, I swear!" They all knew he wasn't the most open minded person in that stuff and so Carolina got up. "I guess I'll be going to bed. Game's over", she said. And only now Grif noticed something. "Uhm… where are Grey and Sarge?"

"They exchange glances and ominously left when everyone was staring at Tucker for saying he wasn't picky", Epsilon informed them. "C'mon Church. You wanted to go so let's go to bed", Carolina said and stretched herself before she looked at Donut and Caboose who made themselves comfortable on some pillows. "And you two go to bed as well. I won't have you sleeping on the floor." Somewhat reluctantly the two got up and toddled to their room.

Authors Note: So that's the first part. Chapter two will follow soon. There is not much to say besides that I'm actually proud on how many references I brought in this.

And oh, I and Alaska McCormick love the joke with Grifs girlfriend with the dick XD

Also thanks at her for helping me out sometimes, especially by coming up with the perfect idea for Washs never ever!