Hello everyone this is your good friend Lucky Sleven; I decided for my first post on this website to be a Seven-centric story, specifically Hagiri x Mitarai. Since there are almost no stories on this pairing, especially coming from Hagiri's point of view, I decided to write one of my own. It's a dysfunctional, romance comedy! I would also like to note, since it is a comedy starring Sniper, go figure, the characters may be OOC at some points. I will try to keep them in character as much as possible.

Summary: Hagiri's experience with Sensui and the tunnel, also based on How I Met Your Mother. Hagiri coming of age. Hagiri x Mitarai Sensui x Itsuki and more, most likely.

Warnings: Yaoi (boy x boy), profanity, my attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or How I Met Your Mother. One can only dream.

I stared at Kamiya and Amanuma as I sat cross legged in the middle of The Healing Hands dojo Kamiya had owned.

"Tell us Hagiri…." Kamiya tried coaxing me again.

"I don't want to." I replied stubbornly refusing to make eye contact with him.

"Come on! You gotta do it! Kamiya and I did now it's your turn! Don't be such a jerk!" Amanuma yelled sticking his stupid, pink tongue at me. "You can at least do that after crashing your stupid bike into Kamiya's dojo."

Damn, he did have a point. I sighed agitated, running a hand through my hair. "Fine, fine just both of you shut up- and don't interrupt me till I'm done."

I can remember the first time I met him; his gold curly locks contrasted with that milky, pale skin. What really captured me were those deep blue cerulean eyes of his that framed his white face. I was never one to just fall, literately and figuratively, but for the first time I found myself speechless since Mr. Sensui persuaded me to join his crusade. Funny, at the time I had no idea even that much had happened to me.

"Hagiri Kaname, this is Mitarai Kiyoshi, you two will be working with each other from now on."

His hand shot up to shake mine but his face, upon seeing me, didn't look nearly as confident. I shined him my trademark smirk, he looked so easy to crush. Ironically enough, we both ended up getting crushed like two soda cans on a hot summer day.

It wasn't till a week after that Mr. Sensui decided to give us our assignments. We had our first meeting in Irma cave and Mitarai was introduced to everyone else. He was shy, as so proudly noted by Amanuma, which only intensified his bashfulness. Kamiya seemed nonchalant about meeting him, perhaps giving him the more comfortable welcome, other than Sensui. My gaze was fixated on him, though at the time I didn't realize I paid attention to every minuscule detail the blonde did; the way his slim, almost woman-like body quivered instinctively from the constant fear. The doubt flooding his big, sad blue eyes to his shaky handshakes. At first I believed to be taking all this in as if he was my prey waiting to be violently pounced on. I turned my head disinterested, but held back a smirk at his reaction to Itsuki's natural teal hair. Itsuki seemed to read Mitarai well, attempting to make the boy feel comfortable as well and we all saw him visibly relax.

Mr. Sensui went on to talk about what he expected from all of us as groups. Itsuki would stay in that little boat of his working on the tunnel, Kamiya would work at the hospital and not blow his cover, keeping an eye on the demon insects that continued to invade the city. Amanuma was left to keep playing Goblin Kingdom to which he pouted because he wanted to practice his territory. When he approached the two of us he smirked wryly and to be honest with you I wasn't exactly sure why.

"I want you two to gather information on these three individuals Asato Kido, Yu Kaito, and Mitsunari Yanagisawa." Sensui told us. "If you can start with Yu Kaito, he may hold some answers we're looking for."

"But Mr. Sensui, how will we track them down if we don't even know what they look like?" Mitarai asked rather bashfully, hiding behind that ever present yellow hoodie of his.

Sensui smirked delicately, putting a hand on his shoulder and it made me shudder, remembering when Sensui had done that to me. "That's a good question Sea Man, and I'm glad you asked; I have rough sketches of what each of them look like. They're drawn by yours truly."

He pulled out the pen sketches and sure enough we had an almost photo realistic copy of what each of the individuals looked like. The rest of us, save for the exception of Itsuki, gathered around to see what the artistic masterpieces. Even I stared in awe, was there nothing this man could do?

"Kaito, goes to Meiou High School along with someone else that may or may not be of concern to us, gather as much information as you can."

I looked back at Mitarai and then the picture of this nerd known as Yu Kaito attempting to forge a plan that could benefit the both of us.

The next day Mitarai and I decided to meet up before the Meiou High School was out for the day. It was warmer than usual so I had nothing on but a plain white t-shirt, jean pants and sneakers. As I saw Mitarai approach me I frowned already annoyed, he had the exact same thing I was wearing only with long sleeves! When he was close enough to tell he blushed furiously; people around us looking and pointing and whispering. Ugh… Today was going to be a long day, I thought to myself.

I'm guessing he could feel my frustration as he coughed, trying to retreat within himself, "Hagiri, we're wearing the same thing."

"Really, I didn't notice that." I stated sarcastically and sighed. "Let's just get this over with, you still have the sketch of Kaito right?"

"Oh right..!" He pulled it out and handed it to me. Our hands had made contact as I grabbed on to the sheet of paper and for some reason we started at each other awkwardly.

"Mitarai you can let go of the paper…."

"Oh y- yeah!"

I bit my tongue back from saying another sarcastic remark. We ended up going to a coffee shop right by the school where most of the students would walk through when school was off. Mitarai bought himself a caramel latte and offered to buy me something to which I refused. Only a few more minutes till the school was off; we both sat in awkward silence until he broke the silence.

"So why do they call you Sniper," he asked.

I lazily turned my eyes to him with a bored expression, "Because I snipe things."

"Oh I see…."

I could see whatever courage he mustered up to talk to me deflating so I spared him and asked a question of my own. "Why do they call you Sea Man?"

He looked at me shocked and I realized that this boy couldn't make eye contact at all when he spoke to anyone. He seemed to debate on whether or not to tell me but he decided to let me know. "My power, it's associated with water… and blood."

I removed my head from my hand, my interest slightly piqued. "Blood? How does that work?"

He bit his lip, nervous to tell me whatever he had to say. "My blood, I use it to create water monsters whose entire bodies inhabit my territory. The more blood the bigger they are and the more water the easier it spreads."

I nodded, a bit fascinated with the concept. "Sounds pretty dark if you ask me."

He chuckled lightly, "Well, I guess our powers sort of reflect on us I think."

I lifted an eyebrow, "That's all well and good but then what does it say about you?" I caught him off guard and watched as he squirmed looking for an answer and then I realized the gravity of what I said. "You cut yourself."

He hesitated before adding in a trembling voice. "I never said that Hagiri."

"But you're not denying it either." I looked at him square in his blue eyes, my own violet narrowing. "You can't even look at me in the eyes when we talk."

"I was just trying to make conversation, I didn't think I was going to be subjugated to judgment..!"

"Hey relax, I haven't said anything that isn't the truth, am I right?"

He stayed quiet again and I knew that I had won the argument, as I usually do. I saw his eyes water of slightly as he finished the last drops of his latte before he decided to excuse himself to buy another. I smirked, so Sensui had decided to stick me with a suicidal blonde, how funny. Stick the inexpressive guy with that guy that was feeling everything at every minute of his life. All we needed was a camera crew to follow on our mishaps. When Mitarai sat back down his body language told me that he was as distant from me as distant as Sensui was from being straight. Trust me, that distance, was far, far away.

I sighed, running a hand through my short black hair, "I wasn't trying to offend you kid."

"I'm not a kid." He pouted back, obviously upset. I chuckled lightly and he looked at me with those angry blue eyes, as scary as a puppy's. "What's so funny?"

I shrugged, "Nothing."

"Then what's funny..!?"

"What are you getting so defensive for I haven't said anything," I stated coolly.

He turned his body to face mine and I couldn't help but eye him up and down quickly as he tried to chew me out. "You called me a kid! You don't even know me."

I looked at him amused and didn't respond right away. At first he was able to keep that angry gaze of his before he began to fidget around and I couldn't help but smile, he was cute. "What's wrong, can't look at me in the eyes now that I'm looking back?"

This intensified the red burning across his cheeks as he looked at anywhere but me. I made him feel some type of way apparently and I jokingly cupped his face and pulled it closer to mine. His already large eyes looked as big as dinner plates and I could practically hear his heart beating furiously from the contact. I grinned like the Cheshire cat, wicked thoughts playing in my head, he was falling right into my trap until….

"Yu-Yu Kaito he's walking over there let's-let's follow him...!" He exclaimed and got up without warning, much to my surprise, and even took his hot beverage with him.

I'd never seen anyone figuratively and physically run away from me like he did and it left me feeling slightly rejected. I shook my head, why would I feel that? It was all a game with him anyway to see how far I could go with him. He wasn't too far away from Kaito, I could still spot him amongst all the purple uniforms. Just as I was turning around for the door I was stopped right in my tracks.

"Busy day Mr. Hagiri?" Kamiya asked nonchalantly, holding a black coffee and bagel with cream cheese.

I frowned, "What's it to you?"

Kamiya smiled wryly, pushing his glasses closer to his nose, "I see you work quick is all."

I arched an eyebrow, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Kamiya still had that weird smile on, but then again everything about him was weird. "A conversation for another time. I believe you have a 'target' to follow."

I turned around and luckily enough Kaito was still there, waiting for the bus it seemed but there was no sign of Mitarai. I looked around, keeping a safe distance from Kaito but eyeing the streets for the anorexic looking blonde. Kaito's bus arrived and I knew I had to follow him. I cringed slightly, I'd have to find Mitarai later.

"I remember that day… you put the moves on Mitarai." Kamiya stated matter of factly.

I rolled my eyes at that statement and Amanuma added, "Hahaha! Did you end up having gay but sex with him?!"

I glared at the both of them, "You want me to tell this story or not? Cause I'm getting pretty pissed off of both of you interrupting me."

"No of course we want to hear it, please continue." Kamiya said, adjusting his seating.

I sighed, it was going to be a long day.

Alright there's chapter one everybody. I'll proof read this as best as I can, constructive criticism and reviews are always welcome. Happy reading. J

Futhermore, if the format seems off please let me know. I had to copy and paste the story seeing as how my file can't be found. -_-