hey there so i decided to write a thing! apologies for the lack of interesting words and any grammatical errors!

Hetalia and all mentioned characters do not belong to me and solely belong to Himaruya Hidekaz

China flinched, nearly dropping his tea in fright. His eyes stared in horror and confusion into the mirror, seeing something that made an all too familiar sense of fear wash over him. He shook his head in disbelief, steadying himself and continuing on to the lounge room where he would at least try to relax.

As he wandered into the room, where he had hoped to find some comfort in his old home full of haunting memories – he found the complete opposite of what he had looked for. Nearly dropping his tea for the second time, he tried to look away from the empty eyes that belonged to one of his ex-brothers.

China growled in annoyance as he forced himself to look away. He angrily sat down on the floor, slamming the tea-cup on the little table, spilling little bits of tea everywhere. He stared out into the garden, which he had the perfect view of from the spot he was now in. China went to pick up the tea-cup, his hands quivering – feeling nervous as if there were real eyes watching his every move; waiting to strike him down.

He brought the small cup to his lips, taking slow sips, trying to hold his hands as still as possible. This feeling was getting on China's nerves; he was supposed to be relaxing today! Not fretting over some reflections in the household mirrors. Was he losing his mind? Perhaps he was sick… There is always a reasonable explanation for everything – even hallucinations.

The ancient nation placed the cup on the table and began tapping furiously, trying to think of a good way to ignore these images. The house was quiet; the only noise being China's repetitive tapping. The house was always quiet these days, nobody came to visit him – Hong Kong and Taiwan lived with him, but they preferred anywhere else. He didn't understand; why did all of his siblings end up wanting to get away from him? Did he not treat them right? Did he do something wrong?

He huffed sadly, crossing his arms on the table and laying his head on top of them. His heart ached, his bones ached - his entire body ached. China was so tired of this – the cycle of loving someone, only to have them decide they want to leave because the other is not good enough for them anymore. He let out a deep sigh and lifted his head. China continued to drink his tea, doing his best to ignore the invisible eyes that seemed to stare into the back of his head.

China decided he was finished with his tea that he would go to bed, but he would have to set an alarm as there was a world meeting later that day and Russia would be coming to pick him up. He quickly drank the remaining tea and walked back to the kitchen – trying to keep his eyes from looking at any of the mirrors. He placed the little cup on the sink and made his way to his bedroom.

The man walked quickly through the hallway, his head down to avoid the glares of the mirror Japan. He could feel the eyes staring daggers into him, waiting to strike him – to make him bleed. His pace picked up a little, wanting to get into his bedroom as quick as possible.

"I hate you."

China froze at those words, looking up in horror at the mirror to see Japan – sword pointed at him. Those dark eyes full of hatred and anger still haunted him at night. He let out a soft gasp and looked away. He could feel him whispering; "You're so weak China." "I have to do this to be free of you." "You're not my brother anymore."

Hands shaking and eyes twitching, China grabbed the first mirror he saw and threw it at the wall. His turned around quickly and stormed back into the kitchen, punching the mirror – glass flew everywhere, cutting his hands. But he didn't care; he couldn't feel any pain at this moment – only rage and fear. He ran to the next mirror and broke it, glass going everywhere once again. He ran to every room, every hallway and smashed every single mirror; as if it would free him from his ex-brother.

China ended up in his bedroom, standing shakily in front of the biggest mirror – Japan's soulless eyes staring back him, as if daring him to smash the last mirror. China's hand shook in frustration, he let out an angry scream and his bloodied and scratched hand flew at the mirror. The sound of glass shattering made China realise what he had done and he fell to the floor, surrounded by glass.

"I love you, oniisan."

Golden eyes shot down to a shard of glass that lay on the ground, reflecting the image of a younger Japan holding red flowers out to him. China couldn't handle this anymore – he brought his hand down upon the shard, breaking it into smaller pieces. Tears fell from his eyes as he began to cry, his throat tightened and his chest hurt so much. Had he truly lost his mind? He picked up a sharp piece of glass and grabbed his hair. He never told anyone – but the reason he left it long was because it was a reminder of the past; one he had not moved on from.

He brought the shard closer and closer to the strands of long hair, getting ready to cut it all off – to forget about the past – but he couldn't do it, could he? There were things in his past he did not want to forget. The day he met Rome, being one of the main things – the day he met Russia for the first time. But most of all, the day he found Japan lost and alone in the bamboo.

But as there were things he did not want to forget about, there were also things he would very much like to forget. Such as when England pretty much kidnapped Hong Kong, every time that Europe ganged up on him and – when Japan betrayed and left him on the ground, covered in his own blood. But there were so many things he did not want to forget, so he could not do it – not just yet. He lowered the glass, placing it on the floor beside him.

China stared ahead at the broken mirror, tears falling from his eyes even faster now. He had completely lost his mind – is he even fit to be a country anymore? He no longer knew the answer to that question, as he did not know anything for sure at this moment. He just looked ahead, staring into the empty mirror frame, body shaking and eyes twitching.

A car pulled up in front of China's home, a tall man with a scarf and purple eyes stepping out of it. He fixed his coat and adjusted his scarf and walked towards the front door. Climbing the steps, he hummed a Russian folk song and his eyes shined with happiness. Russia absolutely loved visiting China – he also loved going to meetings with China because then they could talk on the way there and they could make jokes about the other nations they didn't like very much.

He came to a stop in front of the traditionally decorated door that he was so used to. Russia knocked on the door, waiting to hear the quiet footsteps of China coming towards the door to greet him and invite him. But after about thirty seconds he heard nothing – not even a 'hang on' or something, just silence. This worried Russia so he checked to see if the door was unlocked. It was so he pushed it open slowly, revealing a worrying site to Russia.

Broken glass lay all over the floor, broken mirror frames scattered everywhere. Russia cautiously stepped inside, pulling a knife out of his pocket. For all he knew, China could have been robbed and is now tied up somewhere in the house, so he had to be careful and ready for anything. As he walked through the house the only things that were broken or moved were mirrors – perhaps China had broken them all himself?

He ventured out into the garden, to see if he could spot China anywhere, but could not see any sign of him. He walked back into the house and decided to follow the trail of broken glass. He cringed at the sight of the occasional bloody shard, which he assumed came from a post the China would smash first, with his bare hands it seems. This whole thing was making Russia rather worried, what if something was very wrong with his Chinese friend?

Russia ended up in front of China's bedroom doorway, staring inside and being upset instantly by what he saw. China was sat on the floor, his hair out and messed up, his hands quivering and just staring straight ahead into a mirror frame. There was shattered glass all around him, even little bits of glass on him. His hands were bleeding badly, cut deeply. Russia quickly shoved the knife back into his pocket and walked over to China.

The Russian man moved most of the glass away from China and then sat down in front of him, lifting his chin to look at him. Russia's face fell into a frown, as he looked into China's usually shining eyes. His eyes were moving around the room, occasionally looking into Russia but they would move to another spot within seconds. Russia carefully grasped the sides of China's tear stained face and held it in place so he could not look away.

"China? Are you all right?" Russia's soft voice called, trying to get through to the emotionally distressed man. China's shaking began to stop and his eyes began to focus a bit. His golden eyes shot up and looked into Russia's purple eyes. He seemed to be calm for a moment, making Russia let out a sigh of relief. But just as he was about to ask him what happened, China began to shake again and latched onto Russia, startling the larger man.

China sobbed into Russia coat, holding onto him tightly. Russia wasn't really sure how to react, since he still wasn't sure what had happened. All he had been able to figure out is that China smashed all of his mirrors. Russia didn't know what else to do so he wrapped his arms around China, bringing him closer to him. He patted China's back slowly. Russia hoped he was doing this comforting thing right, since he has never had to do it before and only had experience of comforting from Ukraine.

After what seemed like forever to the Russian man, China's weeping stopped and he carefully removed China from his arms so he could talk to him. He reached out to brush China's hair out of his face and patted his cheek gently. China looked down miserably, his hands still shaking after all that, but probably more to do with the fact they were covered in his blood and still bleeding.

"Now, China – what happened? Why are all the mirrors broken?" Russia asked softly, smiling at him. China still did not look up, his eyes still focused on his hands that lay in his lap. He let out a small, hoarse sigh. China looked up at Russia, lip quivering. He instantly looked down again, covering his face with hands. He began to shake his head furiously, swearing and shouting in Chinese. Russia was not sure what to do; he seemed to be in a moment of rage.

China looked up from his hands and back into Russia's purple eyes. Russia was slightly disturbed now. When China had rested his face in his hands, the blood that was still dripping from them had gotten on his face and now there were little red marks all over his face.

"I think I'm crazy." muttered China, looking at all the shards of glass that lay around the two. Russia was confused yet again by his choice of words. Yes – China was rather eccentric but not crazy. What could make him even think that? Russia blinked a few times and smiled awkwardly at him.

"Why would you say that? I think you're pretty normal compared to-" Russia was cut off by China huffing loudly and shaking his head.

"No! Not that sort of crazy – I mean like… sick crazy." China said sadly, looking down again, his hair falling down over his face. "I know this is going to sound bizarre but, I saw… I saw…" mumbled the Chinese man, fiddling with his overly large sleeve. Russia lifted his face again, so he could actually hear him properly.

"You saw?" the Russian man asked, cocking his head in confusion slightly. China bit the inside of his mouth, tears beginning to well up in his eyes again. He really hated acting like this – like a little child who needed to be comforted. But… was it really so bad to want someone to take care of you, if only for a little while? As strong and as tough as he believed himself to be, he always yearned for someone to care about him. The other nations always believed because of how old he was that he could take care of himself – he did not need a pat on the shoulder and someone to say "it will be okay" when everything was falling apart.

He continued chewing the insides of his mouth in nervousness, what if Russia did not care? What if he thought he was absolutely insane and he leaved instantly, mocking him loudly as he left? Clenching his teeth tightly for a moment, he began thinking of the best way to explain his little problem without sounding dumb.

"I saw Japan in all the mirrors. His reflection followed me everywhere, sword in hand and pointed at me as if he was about to hurt me again. They hissed at me, whispering words of hate and disowning, words all too familiar to me. I couldn't take it, I was going to go take a quick nap before you got here but on the way to my bedroom – the mirror Japan continued to taunt me. I couldn't take it and I…" China explained, looking down at his bloodied and cut hands.

"You broke all the mirrors?" concluded Russia, patting the Chinese man's shoulder softly. China nodded slowly, continuing to play with his sleeve. Russia just stared down at him, smiling gently. Was his friend crazy? No, of course not – just suffering from old age and pain. It was all in his head, all the pain of the past finally got to his little friend.

Russia quickly pulled China into an embrace, making China gasp and try to push Russia away – his face reddened by the sudden action by the Russian man. Russia let out a gentle chuckle and held him tighter, running his hands through the smaller man's hair. China eventually let out an annoyed sigh and just slumped onto Russia, giving up since it was pointless to resist the bigger man. Russia quickly realised he had made a mistake by hugging him though, as he quickly pushed China away and looked down at his coat which was now covered in blood. He sighed, standing up and pulling China to his feet with him.

"We should probably bandage your hands, we don't need you bleeding all over everyone!" giggled Russia, grabbing China's small wrist and leading him out of the bedroom. "Where's your first aid stuff?"

"In the kitchen, I will do it myself-"

"No show me where it is and I will bandage your hands for you, silly!" Russia exclaimed, pulling China towards the kitchen. Stepping carefully around the glass, they entered the kitchen and Yao sat in a chair, letting out a weary sigh. He instantly jumped to his feet and ran to the bathroom. Russia stood there in confusion but quickly ran after him.

China stood in the bathroom, cringing in pain as he began to wash the blood off his hands and face. He felt the water flowing over the cuts, which was a very uncomfortable pain, but it had to be done. He breathed a sigh of relief once it was all gone, drying his hands and face. He pushed past Russia and headed back to the kitchen. Russia laughed and followed him back into the kitchen.

China pointed to where the bandages and were and the Russian man collected them. Russia kneeled in front of the Chinese man, wrapping a bandage around both of his scraped hands. Russia patted China's hands gently and stood to his feet, helping China up with him. Russia looked down at his coat and at China's clothes.

"I do not think we should go to the meeting covered in blood." laughed the Russian, straightening his coat. China chuckled also, examining his bloodied sleeves. China began walking back to his bedroom, waving his hands as a gesture for the Russian to follow him. They walked into the room, carefully manoeuvring around the shattered glass. China opened his closet and dug through it for a minute or two, before pulling out a larger version of the sort of clothes he normally wears.

"I was saving this for your birthday but… I guess you can have it now, since there is not enough time for you to drive home and change, obviously." China spoke, shoving the clothes towards the Russian, his face reddening again. Russia smiled and gladly took the clothes, leaving the room to go get changed in China's bathroom.

China walked over to his door, shutting it and locking it as Russia had a mighty bad habit of walking in uninvited. Making sure the door was properly secured first; China walked over to his closet once again and rummaged through his clothing. He quickly decided on a shirt and threw it on his bed and tried to take off his other shirt as easily as he could with bandaged hands. After he had successfully removed his shirt, his hands moved to his back - his fingers tracing along the deep scar line that plagued his back, a mark that left a trail of sadness.

He felt a chill run down his spine as he remembered that day his little brother turned on him. Shaking his head furiously, he removed his wrapped hands from his back and went to grab his shirt. China picked it up and pulled it over his head. He realised he would have to brush his hair also, as he did not want to go to the meeting looking like an animal. He reached for the comb that sat on his dresser, but suddenly there was a knock at his door.

"China, are you dressed?" called Russia from the other side of the door. China walked over to the door and unlocked it, pushing it open to face the Russian.

"Obviously!" China laughed. He then walked back into his room, Russia following behind him and taking a seat on his bed. "But before we leave I need to comb my hair and put it back up. I will be mistaken for a girl if I don't." China huffed, picking up the comb and running it through his hair quickly. He could feel Russia's eyes staring at him, watching him brush his hair. "What are you looking at?" China asked - his hand slowing to a stop. Russia laughed, his face getting an almost unnoticeable red hue.

"I was just thinking that your hair is very pretty and if I could possibly… brush it for you?" Russia asked shyly, looking away for a moment but then quickly looking back up with some sort of puppy dog face. China pouted, looking at the ground for a moment. He then trudged over to him and cautiously gave him the comb. Russia laughed and pulled the small man into his lap and began to run the comb through his hair.

China crossed his arms like a child and tried to lean away from Russia. Russia realized he was trying to get away so he wrapped an arm around his torso and pulled him closer. China groaned in annoyance and eventually gave up and just leaned onto Russia. Russia finished brushing the smaller nations' hair and began running his hand through the soft, silk like hair. Russia leaned in slowly to smell China's hair, making China flinch uncomfortably. Russia laughed and hugged him tightly again, getting an annoyed hissing noise from China who tried to roll away from him.

Russia leaned backwards onto the bed, taking China down with him. China gasped in surprise as he felt himself falling backwards. Russia rolled onto his side, so China fell from his front and landed on the bed, facing him. China's face was a very deep red at this moment, due to the closeness of his face to Russia, his face only slightly red. China tried to look away but he was held in place by Russia's strong hands.

"Say China, what is your opinion of me?" asked the Russian man, patting China's small cheek. China's face reddened even more at this question. How on earth was he supposed to answer that? He closed his eyes and his mouth fell into a frown. Russia was slightly thrown off by this reaction, perhaps China did not like him as much as he wanted to believe…

China's eyes opened again quickly, golden eyes meeting purple. China's hands reached out to cup Russia's cheek. Russia felt his face heating up; he was not expecting that sort of action from China.

"I think you're pretty cute, Russia." China whispered, his mouth now forming into a little smirk. "You're also a little chubby, but cute regardless." laughed the Chinese man, as he patted Russia's cheek. Russia's face had gone completely red in a matter of seconds. He pulled China close to him again, squeezing him really tightly.

"You're a bully China! I'm not chubby, just big boned!" exclaimed Russia, rolling onto his back so China was lying on top of him. China awkwardly buried his face in Russia's coat, this was all too close and intimate for him to handle. Russia giggled at China's embarrassed reaction and just held him even tighter. They lay there like that, together – for a few minutes before Russia decided to tell China his opinion of him.

Russia lifted China's face from his coat and looked him straight in the eye. Russia leaned in close to China, stopping right beside his ear. China was bright red now, Russia just kept getting more close to him and it was embarrassing him! Russia opened his mouth and spoke in a quiet whisper.

"I think you're the oldest person I know." Russia smirked and moved away from China's face, laughing as he did so. China just stared at him dumbfounded, a pout forming on his small, feminine face. China struggled in Russia's grip and finally managed to get his big hands off of him and he rolled of him back onto the bed, facing away from him, the pout still formed on his face.

Russia chuckled in amusement and moved closer to him once again. He sat up next to the smaller man and leaned down above his ear.

"But as old and grumpy as you are – you are possibly the most handsome man I have ever seen." whispered Russia, caressing China's cheek. China let out a sigh and rolled on his back so he could see Russia's childlike face. Russia smiled down at him, making China huff and close his eyes for a moment. This confused Russia, he had simply smiled at him – why would he seem annoyed? Russia was so engulfed in his thoughts; he did not sense China's face inching up and closer to his.

Just as China's lips were about to brush against Russia's cheek, the front door could be heard being opened. China almost instantly pulled away before the Russian would notice and leaped off the bed and headed to the front door to see who had just waltzed in. Russia quickly realised the smaller man had left the room and followed after him. China could hear the voice of Taiwan and Hong Kong, which made him get slightly nervous.

Hong Kong spotted China coming and gave him a confused look and glancing at Taiwan who was trying to figure out why there was glass everywhere.

"What happened here?" asked Hong Kong, as blunt as ever. China sighed and scratched his head awkwardly. Russia soon appeared by China, suddenly remembering that there was glass all over the house. China let out a sad sigh after a few moments.

"Do not worry about it, I will clean up the glass when the meeting is over and I will purchase new mirrors." answered China, shaking his head and stomping past the two younger Asian nations and out to where Russia's car was parked. "We should probably go, Russia." shouted China from outside. Russia nodded to know one in particular and went to go outside himself, but stopped and turned to face China's little brother and sister.

Russia walked over to them and bent down so he was eye level with both of them, an almost creepy smile washing over his face.

"I hope you know that China loves you, yes? But you know, I don't think he believes that you guys love him back – that you will leave him like the others." hissed the Russian man, glancing between both of them. He smiled at them both and turned to leave the house. "I hope you both start being better siblings, soon!" laughed Russia as he skipped out the door. Hong Kong and Taiwan glanced at each other in confusion.

"By 'others', did he mean…?" Taiwan began, stopping midway as Hong Kong crossed his arms and let out a sigh.

"Japan."