Disclaimer: This is my blanket disclaimer for all chapters. Sadly, I don't own these characters. If I did, being the selfish person that I am, I wouldn't be sharing. They wouldn't appear on your TV, and Jane and Lisbon would be together already.

Chapter 1: A New Teresa

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drop by drop, blood was running down the drain, being washed away, never to be seen, never to be traced back to it's owner, who was even now lying just metres away from the drain, blond curls matted, ace pale and haggard, eyes closed. Never to be traced…

Squawking filled the CBI Headquarters. Lisbon looked up. Jane was standing in the doorway of her office. This was normal. He was carrying a chicken. This was not normal. However, with Jane, you were never quite sure if he was on the same page.

"Jane, what the hell are you doing with a chicken in my office? I assume you're not planning on roasting it for lunch, as you seem to be lacking the necessary spices, an oven, and, oh yeah, it's alive." All in all, Lisbon thought it was a rather satisfactory rant. Normally Jane didn't give her the chance to get out more than three words.

"Chicken? What chicke- oh, you mean Teresa?" Jane gave her an overly-innocent look as he sat down on the corner of her desk. A snort of laughter came for the general direction of the doorway, where Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt stood crowded. As this laughter was quickly stifled with a glare, it was impossible to tell from whom it came. All three had red, strained faces. Van Pelt was trying very hard to hide behind the other two, so Jane was putting his money on her.

"Teresa." Lisbon's voice was deathly calm and even. An obvious sign of irritation. "Interesting name for a chicken. Normally you'd call them something like Speckles, or, or Feathers or something more chicken-like. You don't normally give them people names. It makes them so very much harder to eat."

"Well, you know, lots of kids name their pets after their heroes. I didn't have a pet so I had to go out and get one. You really ought to be flattered." There was another stifled giggle from the doorway. Lisbon didn't notice. She'd just noticed that there was a gleam in Jane's eyes that was distinctly disarming. Without her usual weaponry of sarcasm, an icy voice and an evil glare, she was helpless, floating on a tide of irritation, doing her best not to be swept away by the tide of those beautiful deep blue ey- no, she would not get distracted. She was going to yell at Jane, and neither he nor his eyes were going to stop her, his big beautiful, deep, dark, bottomless blue-

She shook her head, trying to clear it. She realised that they were staring at her.

"Flattered. Yes. Whatever. Just, just, don't you all have work to do?"

Damn him! He'd been working here over a year now, and she still couldn't defend herself from the big, beautiful- damn it, she was doing it again. He was smiling that damned crooked smile, mocking her, seeing through her façade of calm. "Don't you have work to do as well, Jane? Or are you going to sit there staring at me all day. I have work to do too, you know. And make sure your chicken-"

"Teresa."

"It."

"Teresa."

"-That thing doesn't make a mess everywhere. I'm not cleaning up after it."

"Her."

"Her." Lisbon's voice went from cool to beyond-the-grave cold. Otherworldly cold.

Jane walked out feeling rather pleased with himself. It wasn't often he could make her flustered anymore. It was almost as if she had become immune. But today's episode had worked out perfectly. Possibly it was a little cruel to name a chicken after her, and then to bring said chicken into her office, but that was part of the fun. The game was on again. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that this mightn't have been about the chicken.

Lisbon watched Jane go and sit on his couch. Where was he planning on keeping the damn thing anyway? It wasn't as if his house had somewhere to keep a chicken…

Jane stuck his head around the doorframe.

"By the way, I'm leaving her here in the office, okay?" He walked away without waiting for a response.

Jane smirked to himself. If the chicken had thrown her off balance, let's see how she reacted to his next surprise. He bent over and retrieved the manila folder Van Pelt was tearing her desk apart trying to find. This was going to be good.

A/N: if you review, I will love you forever. Please note that this is my first Mentalist fanfic.