Zak lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He had watched as the sun slowly crept its way across the walls, climbing up and up with each passing minute. He was exhausted but sleep wouldn't come. He had spent the better part of the night with his eyes pinched shut in an attempt to force his body to sleep. But it wasn't happening and eventually he gave up trying. This was the worst part of his job. The days that followed intense lockdowns left him feeling like an empty shell. His body felt foreign, like he had no control over the emotions he felt and no idea how long it would last. Sometimes, he'd come home and sleep for two days straight. Unable and unwilling to drag himself from sleep despite the nightmares. But other times the sleep wouldn't come. And he would lay in bed, just like he was, his body numb and his mind a vast, empty landscape.
But no matter how dark things got, there was always one bright spot he could count on. He looked to the warm, sleeping form rooted at his side. The steady inhale and exhale of breath ghosted over Zak's skin as a constant reminder of better days to come. He turned to face Nick, wrapping an arm around the younger man, careful not to wake him. If he had to be awake, he might as well enjoy the scenery. He admired the softness of Nick's face as he slept. Zak loved him like this. He nuzzled in a bit closer, hoping the warmth and gentle heartbeat would carry him off to sleep. He felt lips press into his forehead as he settled in.
"Shit. I woke you up." He said apologetically, moving to look Nick in the eyes.
"S'okay" Nick said, throat still thick with sleep. "You having trouble sleeping?"
"No." Zak lied. "I'm fine. Just trying to get comfortable." Nick looked at him, unconvinced.
"I mean this in the best way possible, babe. But you look like hell. Did you sleep at all?" Nick asked. Zak shook his head sheepishly. He hated when Nick worried about him. "You should have woken me up."
"What, so we could both be exhausted? What good would that do?" Zak asked dismissively. "I'm fine. Just having a little trouble settling down. That's all."
"But you feel okay?... Like yourself?" Nick asked, worry clear in his features. He ran his fingers softly along Zak's cheek.
"It's not an attachment, Nick. I promise. Just a really bad lockdown hangover." He reassured.
"Okay. Good." Nick said with a quick kiss to the bridge of Zak's nose. "You lay right here and try to relax. I'm gonna go get us some breakfast." He stepped out of the bed, slipping into his boxers. Zak smiled. There was no point in protesting. Nick was already in caregiver mode and Zak wasn't going to complain.
Nick reappeared in the doorway 30 minutes later balancing an overflowing tray. "Breakfast is served!" He announced, plopping the tray on the bed. "Aw, shit." He muttered as orange juice sloshed in the glasses. "Oops!" He said, grinning at Zak.
"What do we have here?" Zak asked with a smile, taking in the spread.
"Oh you know, a little of everything. We've got some toast with butter and jam, eggs and bacon, cereal, oatmeal, fruit salad, orange juice and herbal tea."
"But what are you gonna eat?" Zak joked. Truthfully, he wasn't hungry. But he could never tell Nick that after he went to all this trouble. "I'll take the toast." He said, grabbing a slice.
"You should drink the tea too. It's the sleepy kind. No caffeine." Nick said, moving the mug to Zak's side of the tray.
"Ok, I will." Zak said appreciatively. "You're too good to me." He added with a smile.
"I know." Nick said mischievously. He grabbed for the bowl of cereal, taking a big bite. "Now eat." He said, mouth full. Zak obeyed, taking another bite of the toast, eyes never leaving Nick's.
When they'd finished up, Nick moved the tray to the floor. He made his way to the bathroom and Zak heard him shuffling around in the cabinet. He returned to the room with a bottle of lotion, a candle and a lighter. He set the candle down on the side table and lit it. He grabbed the pillows from his side of the bed, rearranging them near the foot. "Lay down." he said pointing to the pillows. Zak smiled softly, crawling across the bed to lay face down on the pillows. He was immediately engulfed in Nick's scent. That alone had him feeling relaxed. Nick grabbed the lotion, crawling onto the bed and straddling Zak's legs. He pumped some lotion into his hands, taking a moment to warm it up before he got to work on Zak's tense shoulders. The older man let out an involuntary moan as Nick's hands worked out the knots.
"Oh my God, Nick." Zak groaned. "That feels so good."
"I'm glad." Nick murmured. "Just relax." His hands slowly worked their way down Zak's back, expertly rubbing out the tension in his muscles; stopping momentarily to kiss a scratch Zak had gotten during their lockdown. Goosebumps sprung up where Nick's lips made contact with Zak's sensitive skin. He let out another moan at the surprise sensation. Nick's breath hitched as he hovered his lips over the broad back. He paused for only moment before kissing his way up Zak's back, hands running over the expanse of skin. Zak craned his neck as Nick lay soft kisses up the side.
"Nick…" Zak breathed.
"Just relax." Nick said, breathlessly. Returning to massaging the older man's back.
"Nick." Zak said, more desperate this time. He struggled to flip himself onto his back. But Nick's weight rested heavily on the backs of his legs, pinning him down.
"Zak…" Nick protested quietly. "You need to rest." The older man shifted under Nick, managing to flip onto his back. He was greeted with lust-filled brown eyes that were telling a different story than the words coming from his mouth. Zak grabbed the younger man by the neck, bringing him down to lay on top of him and crashing their lips together. Nick was hesitant at first, lips barely moving against Zak's, but a mumbled "Please?" between their lips sent him into action. Zak felt his heart ignite as warmth circulated through his body. Nick's lips felt like fire spreading across him and bringing him back to life.
They lay in bed a while later, still catching their breath. Zak clung to Nick, listening to the soothing sound of his slowing heartbeat. Nick wrapped both his arms around the older man, pulling him in closer as he felt his body begin to relax.
"Think you'll sleep now?" Nick whispered.
"Mmm hmm." Zak replied sleepily.
The sun was dipping down, casting an orange glow over their glistening bodies. Nick smiled to himself, lightly kissing Zak's forehead as he took a mental picture of this perfect moment.