WARNING: Mpreg, Miscarriage, but I promise a happy ending.

…

Letting Go And Holding On

Hannigram

Chapter 1

…

Alana was pacing back and forth in the hallway, biting her nail when the front door opened and Will walked in. He couldn't say anything; only watch the way she looked up at him, the sympathy in her eyes. She gave the faintest hint of a smile to try to ease the tension but it didn't do much to help him. Alana moved and wrapped her arms around Will; he tensed in her arms and relaxed when she whispered "I'm sorry" to him. He pulled back, as she wiped a tear away from her face.

"He said he wasn't feeling right this morning, I just thought he was doing too much. That's why I told him to cancel his appointments. Where is he?"

"He went upstairs, Callie left a little while ago."

"I'm not sure how to handle this Alana, what am I suppose to say to him?"

"Sometimes words aren't needed, just go and be with him…hold him, let him know you're there for him."

"Does that really work?"

"Well, it helped Margot and me the first time."

"What about the second time it happened? Sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"No it's okay; we got through it…together."

"At least you got there in the end."

"Exactly." She smiled.

"What if that doesn't happen for Hannibal and me?"

"Hey, don't think like that."

"He's in his forties Alana, there's no point denying it won't be easy."

"No it won't and I won't lie and tell you otherwise, all you can do it pray it happens. Hannibal's a healthy man, Callie said it was just one of those things that cruelly happens and there's no real cause. You can try again, just give it time."

"Maybe you should be the one to go and talk to him."

"He doesn't want me Will…he wants…he needs you."

"I don't want to screw it up, make him more upset than he probably already is."

"You won't screw it up, just be there with him, right now…that's all he needs form you. I'll go and leave you too it, but if either of you need anything at all…you know where to find me okay."

"Thanks Alana and thanks for being here with him."

"That's what friends are for, I better go…Margot will be wondering where I've got too."

Alana kissed his cheek before she left, leaving him standing alone in the hallway, the silence almost deafening.

…

Will waited a few moments before making his way up the stairs and towards the bedroom he now shared with Hannibal. They'd only been together 18 months but Will couldn't deny how happy the older man had made him. The past behind them, Will had finally opened up and admitted his true feelings for Hannibal, and he couldn't have been happier when Hannibal had closed the space between them and brought Will in to his arms where he had received one of the best kisses he'd ever had. Will walked in to the bedroom to find it empty but stopped when he heard the noise from the bathroom, he made his way in to the en suite to find Hannibal sitting on the floor of the shower, still dressed in his suit, holding himself tightly as the water fell on him. Will immediately felt his heart pounding in his chest when he saw the older man, and how vulnerable he looked. Will closed the door to the bathroom and made his way over to Hannibal, kneeling down as he pushed the door back a little.

"Hannibal." He spoke with softness in his voice.

Hannibal looked up to see Will looking at him with worry in his eyes.

"You're gonna ruin your suit if you stay in there, why don't you come out huh."

Hannibal didn't respond and lowered his head again as Will stood up.

"Okay then, if you won't come out, I guess I'll come in."

"Will don't, you'll…"

Before Hannibal could answer Will was already inside, sliding the door back in place before he sat down beside the older man. They remained silent for a few minutes before Will placed a hand on Hannibal's left arm.

"Hannibal talk to me…please."

"I…I can't, I don't know what to say to you."

"Hey, this isn't your fault." Will brought his arm around Hannibal's back, rubbing a hand up and down.

"How can you say that, it was my responsibility? I didn't look after myself properly."

"Stop…none of what's happened is your fault. Callie said these things just happen and there's no reason behind it. I should have stayed with you today, you said you weren't feeling right and I went to work and left you alone."

"If I'm not to blame then you can't blame yourself either Will."

"I know…I just wish this hadn't happened to you. I hate that you went though it on your own."

"I wasn't alone, Alana was here with me. She helped me a great deal, she has gone through it herself, and she knew what to do."

"Has Callie said anything, do we need to do anything?"

"She said that the pregnancy tissue should pass naturally in a week or two or if I don't want to wait then I can opt for minor surgery to have it removed."

"Okay, and will it hurt you, doing it naturally."

"She says no."

"Do you want to wait, or would you like the surgery. I'll go along with whatever you feel is the right thing for you."

"It just, still doesn't feel real. It feels like the baby…it's still there."

"Hannibal I…"

"I don't think I want to wait, I think I want the surgery. I just can't Will, I can't pretend it's still there you know."

"Hey I get it, I really do. I'll phone Callie first thing and tell her we want the surgery okay. I'll be right there with you."

"What if this doesn't happen for us again Will, what if I can't…"

"Come here, it's okay. Everything will work out."

"I'm so sorry Will…I'm so sorry I lost our baby."

"Sssh, it's okay. None of this is your fault, we'll be okay…it will all work out in time, don't ever blame yourself okay."

Hannibal pulled back and looked up at Will, tears in his eyes.

"I love you Will."

"I love you too, so much. We'll get though this…together."

…

2 years later

…

"Daaaddy park, I want to go to the park."

"Okay little girl, come on…time for the swings." Will smiled as he picked up Ellie in his arms.

"Where's papa."

"He's just coming sweetheart."

He put Ellie down as Hannibal walked towards them.

"Papaaaa."

Ellie ran towards him as Hannibal bent down to pick her up.

"Hey, careful. You're supposed to be taking things easy, no heavy lifting." Will smiled, taking Ellie from him.

"Sorry I forgot."

Hannibal smiled as Will put Ellie in her pushchair before turning to the older man and bringing him close.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay here, I can keep her occupied while you rest."

"I need the air, I'm sick of being cooped up in the house. I won't do anything too strenuous I promise."

"Fine, I'm sorry. I know I'm being a little too protective."

"No more than you were when I was having Ellie."

"I just want you safe."

"I will be, only a few more weeks Will and we'll be fine. We'll have our son."

"Our son, wow….I just can't believe it. What you've given us, I'll never be able to thank you enough."

"You're here with me for it all…that's more than enough."

"I love you Hannibal."

"I love you too, all of you."

"Park…I want the park." Ellie screamed.

"We're just coming sweetheart, you ready?" Will asked.

"Ready."

"Okay, let's go to the park."

…

-Fin