I haven't written in a while. I wanted to write something new, different. So this is it.
This Twilight.
"Who told you to choose this life…? Bella?"
She stared out the window, the huge window that invaded her room here. She stared at the purple sky, she stared at the stars starting to shine, she stared at the people below, near and far, she stared at everything, and nothing.
"Are you listening?"
In that one moment she'd jumped off the cliff into the water, everything changed. She wished for Edward, she wished for the same love she'd had for so long. But nothing happened. Into the depth of water, cold, dark depth, a switch went off in her head.
He isn't coming back. Nobody knows...
She swam to the shore and saved herself. Lied there in vain, useless patience for a fairy tale ending. Speak to me. Tell me I'm wrong. She imagined his voice, scolding. But only imagined. There was no solace, no sweet nothings, no argument, just her own thoughts and dealings, that went on for seeming centuries. They found her there.
"Bella, why did you jump? Did you feel no one could hear you?"
He could hear me. He could see me. He knew me. But he didn't come back. He will never come back. And he will never know how I feel. This shell I've become, he will never know. I loved him so much. I love him so much. I want him, I want him, I want him now.
Her tears flowed unintentionally, which caused Christina some worry. She stood up and walked over to Bella, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She gently turned Bella's face towards her.
"Bella, listen to me. Why don't you tell me why you jumped? Jacob told me everything already. But it means nothing till you admit it."
What do you want me to admit, Doctor? That I'm crazy? I am crazy.
Twilight comes, and leaves me. The doctor too abandons me – I'm hopeless, she probably thinks.
She moves slowly to her bed, and lies there in wait.
He comes in the night. In my dreams. We fly. And love. And kiss and hug and sleep. My life is wonderful. I live my life in my dreams. My only relief.
He comes in the night. Opening the door slowly, as though I'm asleep. But he knows I'm awake. Always half awake, at least. "Bella, how you doin' today?"
I never answer.
He sits on the side of the bed, and places some chocolates on her lap.
He too will soon leave me.
"I love you, Bella," he says to me one night. I imagine it to be fantasy. Nobody could ever love me like he did.
His hand reaches forward and touches hers, sparks of warmth and a flood of emotions requesting, pleading for some response. But she never answers, she never moves, she only stares at nothing, and her eyes speak a thousand words of agony.
"I'll never leave." But you will. He left. You will, too.
"I'll wait for you." Like I'll wait for him.
Days and nights and suns and moons pass in this silence of sadness.
This love story has no ending now. Maybe this is the end.
She overhears them one day, outside.
"She's showing no improvement," she tells my father. He will always love me, but that's not what I need. Not the love I need.
"How can you be so selfish?" Jacob whispers in the air one day, when I close my eyes and feign slumber.
I am selfish. Driven deep into this misery, this love.
This irrevocable love.
"Who told you to choose this life, Bella?"
This is what I hoped would have happened to her. I hate to say it, but it's true. Things don't always end up in fancy-ass happyland. I usually don't ever write anything from a chick's POV. But there's a first time for everything, yeah? So thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think.