When I Got Bored

by Binkatong

It started out as a normal day in ThunderClan, which bored me to death. So I decided to weird some cats to death. This is going to be fun. My first attempt at a genuine humor fic, so please R&R and hopefully LOL. Rated T in case. Oneshot.

Once apon a time, I got bored and decided to take a shot at a humor fic. This is what came out of it. As you can see, I love making fun of Brackenfur. I don't know why; I just do. So, enjoy my first attempt at making people laugh with this kind of format.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own warriors, any of these characters except for me, or anything except the flying golden amazingly awesome marshmallow machine gun of DOOM!! and the super awesome amazingly all powerful golden marshmallow of DOOM!!, and all those niblit songs. Thank you.

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"Hey, Graystripe!" Thornclaw stuck his head into the warriors den. The deputy was straightening out his moss and leaf bedding when he heard the call.

"Yes?" he mewed, abandoning his work and padding out of the den. "What is it?"

"I caught some mice. Do you want to share them with me?"

"Sure," Graystripe followed him out of the den. The sunshine glowed on Thornclaw's golden-brown fur. The cloudless sky seemed to give off waves of happiness that lapped over the entire forest.

"Those sparrows sure are loud today," Thornclaw meowed through a mouthful of fresh-kill.

"I would be too if I were them," Graystripe remarked. "It's beautiful."

Just then, the morning patrol padded into the sunlit camp, heading straight for the deputy to present the report.

"So, how did it go?" he asked.

Sandstorm, the leader of the patrol, stepped forward. "A RiverClan apprentice went dangerously close to the border at Sunningrocks, but he realized this and went the other way. Other than that, it was uneventful."

"Glad to hear it, Sandstorm," he took a bite and swallowed. "You, Cloudtail, and your apprentices can go to the sandy hollow for some training." She nodded, and without hesitation, she scampered off to find Cloudtail.

And That's When I Got Bored!!

The sky began to cloud up. That's odd, Graystripe thought, watching the clouds darken and swirl. Cats stopped what they were doing to watch the strange phenomena. Shrewkit began to yowl for his mom, Ferncloud, who sprinted over from the fresh kill pile to comfort the kit. In a panic, Graystripe sprinted out of the camp. Lightning flashed, and Firestar leaped onto the highrock.

"Please return to your dens immediately!" He cried over the thunder. The cats were in a frenzy, running this way and that, trying to squeeze into their dens. I'm getting tired of writing like this.

Dramatic Change of Format!!

Me: -comes down from swirly cloud in a flying golden amazingly awesome marshmallow machine gun of DOOM!!- MWAHAHAHA!! NOW THAT I'VE CHANGED THE FORMAT, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!

Cats: -stop and look up at me, start to growl and hiss-

Thornclaw: Intruder! Get off our territory! -jumps for flying golden amazingly awesome marshmallow machine gun of DOOM!!, misses, and falls to his death-

Me: -Fires super awesome amazingly all powerful golden marshmallow of DOOM!! that lands in Firestar's ear-

Awesome amazingly all powerful golden marshmallow of DOOM!!: -oozes into Firestar's ear and eats brain-

Firestar: -starts doing chicken dance- I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my BUTT! shakes butt in Sandstorm's face

Sandstorm: AHH!! IT BURNS!! -dies-

Brackenfur: Sweet niblits! You killed Sandstorm! I'll tear your niblits to shreds and throw them in the Sea of Niblits! Why can't I stop saying niblits?!

Cloudtail: What he said, minus the--

Brackenfur: Niblits!

Me: -takes disclaimer from top of page and throws it at Cloudtail-

Cloudtail: AHHH!! falls down hole

Squirrelpaw: Cloudtail!- shouts down hole- I just want to let you know I've always loved you and I have been secretly planning to murder Brightheart and steal her kits!

Brightheart: -Glares at Squirrelpaw and flexes claws-

Me: Oh, this will be good! -gives Brightheart a flamethrower-

The following scene has been removed for Violence, Swearing and Bloody Murder. And my lack of ability to write good action scenes. I apologize for the inconvenience. For now, I will have Brackenfur sing you a song.

Brackenfur:

TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE NIBLITS!

HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU… NIBLITS!

UP ABOVE THE NIBLITS YEAH NIBLITS!

LIKE A NIBLIT WHICH IS AWESOME!

TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE NIBLITS!

NIBLITS ARE AWESOME, OH YEAH NIBLITS!!

Thank you Brackenfur for that cough cough wonderful song.

Brackenfur: You're welcome. Niblits…

Now back to the show.

Brightheart: -Tears Squirrelpaw's already bloody ear off with a chainsaw- BEEP BEEP BEEP!!

Opps! Not quite yet.

Brackenfur: Sweet niblits, that was horrible! I'm glad I'm here, for niblits sake. So, by the power entrusted in me by niblits, I declare one more song!

Me: Oh StarClan.

Brackenfur:

YA PUT YOUR NIBLITS IN!

YA PUT YOUR NIBLITS OUT!

YA PUT YOUR NIBLITS IN,

AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!

YOU DO THE NIBBLY NIBLIT

AND YOU TURN YOURSELF AROUND!

THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!

NIBLITS!!

-over horrible music- It looks like it's over! Now back to the show!

Brackenfur: -poofs into camp-

Ashfur: Where were you? You just missed the bloodiest and most violent battle in warriors history!

Brackenfur: I was singing some niblittastic songs about Niblits! Where's Squirrelpaw?

Me: -gestures to a pile of ash that Brightheart is sitting on triumphantly-

Brackenfur: Sweet Niblits, what did you do!?

Brightheart: Well, I—

The following dialogue has been removed for the same reason as the actual scene PLUS the fact that I have no idea what happened. Thank you.

Brackenfur: Do I get to sing another niblet song?

ThunderClan plus Me: NO!!

Brackenfur:

MARY HAD A LITTLE NIBLIT!

LITTLE NIBLIT! LITTLE NIBLE—

Ashfur: -bound and gags Brackenfur and throws him into said "Sea of Niblits."-

Cloudtail: -falls out of hole in the sky bald, covered in sticky candy canes and hanging onto the disclaimer for dear life-

Disclaimer: DISCLAIMER I do not own warriors any of these characters except for me or anything except the flying golden amazingly awesome marshmallow machine gun of DOOM and the super awesome amazingly all powerful golden marshmallow of DOOM and all those niblit songs Thank you

Me: Hey, how did you get out of there? That was supposed to be a BOTTOMLESS hole of candy canes! And what happened to the disclaimer?

Cloudtail: The candy canes… eat punctuation… and fur… -faints-

Firestar: -still doing chicken dance- I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my butt! -shakes butt at candy canes-

Candy canes: -pounce at Firestar and eat all his fur and punctuation-

Firestar: -ignoring candy canes- I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt I dont wanna be a chicken I dont wanna be a duck so I shake my butt

Ashfur: Am I the only sane one here?

Me: Not for long! -launches super awesome amazingly all powerful golden marshmallow of DOOM!! from the flying golden amazingly awesome marshmallow machine gun of DOOM!! that everyone forgot I was sitting in at Ashfur's ear-

Me: -Waits-

Thornclaw: -Waits-

Firestar: -Waits-

Brightheart: -Waits-

Ashfur: -Waits-

Ghost of Thornclaw: -Waits-

Ghost of Sandstorm: -Waits-

Ghost of Squirrelpaw: -Waits-

Announcer: -Waits-

Ghost of Brackenfur: NIBLITS!!

Me: Oh StarClan, he's so serious he's immune to the marshmallows! Run! -runs back to house-

Because she left, the format changes back to normal!

After I left, everything went back to normal. Firestar stopped dancing and grew back his fur and punctuation. Cloudtail woke up with his white coat still attached to his skin. The candy canes, marshmallows and holes were gone, and Brightheart lost all of her high tech weaponry. All the clan cats lost all memory of what happened, but one thing remained. Thornclaw, Sandstorm, Squirrelpaw and Brackenfur all had moved on to StarClan.

That night, the clan mourned the death of their clan mates. Sandstorm and Thornclaw's carcasses were buried by the elders, but Squirrelpaw and Brackenfur were never found. But cats say that when you are walking alone in the forest, you can sometimes hear Brackenfur scampering through the forest, shouting:

NIBLITS!!

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I hate sad endings. Well, at least I'm not bored anymore.