A/N: The flashback is a reworking of my fic titled Step One, which was labeled Helen/John but really wasn't. The next chapter starts earlier in time than the flashback, and the story will work its way to the present day (skipping a hundred years or so in the middle). I don't own Sanctuary, I'm judgment proof, don't sue me, etc. Any timeline errors and historical inaccuracies are all mine. Reviews are tons of love!

"Dance with me, Helen."

"But there's no music," she protested, looking around the room they were staying in.

"We don't need it." He pulled her into his arms. "We've spent more than one lifetime writing our own song."

And they danced.

Helen didn't know that he was just outside the drawing room door. Nikola was on his way to check on her when he heard the "crack" of John's arrival. He considered risking Helen's wrath and rushing in to protect her. But he waited. She still believed that she could help Druitt. Nikola knew better, knew that for all of Helen's skills this was beyond her reach. But he also knew that she was still in love with her ex-fiancé. He knew she was stubborn. And he knew she would just need to figure it out for herself. So he waited, and listened.

"We need to talk," she pleaded. He could hear John's heavy footsteps pacing the floor.

"John, please, sit down. I just want to talk to you." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Nikola fought back his fierce desire to protect her, fought back his inner vampire threatening to take control of the situation.

"What is there left to say, darling?" John sneered the last word.

"We can help you; find out what is causing this change in you!"

"We both know exactly what happened—and whose fault it was."

"What on earth do you mean?"

"The research on the source blood was your idea. Injecting it was your idea. In fact, you were the one who gave me the injection of source blood. The source blood which turned me into a blood thirsty monster much more dangerous than that pesky Serbian will ever be. You made me, Helen. All those dead women are a product of your creation."

One day, Nikola hoped that Helen appreciated how much willpower it took to keep from bursting into the room and killing that man for what he was doing to her.

There was a long moment of quiet, but finally Helen spoke. She sounded desperate, and, Nikola was relieved to hear, a little bit angry. "You made yourself, John. You were the only one of the five to turn evil, and I cannot believe that you did not already have a predilection for such." She paused, then continued more hesitantly, "However, I do take a measure of responsibility. I did not see what was happening soon enough. I…" she faltered. "Maybe I could have helped you."

"You couldn't have helped me because you were too busy hunting me!"

"I had no idea that you were the killer James and I were pursuing. How could I have?" In truth, they all should have seen it much sooner. They were all so blinded by their friendship that they didn't see the truth until it was too late.

"Oh, you knew," he growled, "You were just too stubborn to admit that you were wrong to choose me. Will you run to Tesla now? Oh, that's right—you already did." John sounded like he was ready to slip over the edge. Helen needed to calm him down SOON or Nikola was going to intervene. Her next words felt like a knife to Nikola's gut.

"John," she pleaded, "You know that it could ever only be you. Things between us are broken right now, but if you let me help you, maybe we can set things right…" Nikola knew she was only saying them to calm Druitt down, but he also knew they were true.

"What then? We move to the cottage by the shore…No, it will never be me again, Helen. You made that clear. I will love you for all eternity, and you'll run off with Tesla now that you're free and have no reputation left to protect. You never see what is right in front of you, Helen! You don't see what we could be…" He trailed off. Nikola was growing more worried by the second. He heard someone moving, and it was driving him crazy that he couldn't see what was happening.

"John!" Helen's voice was so low it was barely audible. "Let me help you, please. I'll never give up trying to find a way, if you will only let me."

"You've done enough…" the sound of his voice told Nikola that time was almost up. He actually heard Helen choked back a sob of fear. He was giving this ten more seconds.

"Then get out. And don't come near me again. John, I've loved you but I won't have you jeopardize all my father and I have fought to build."

Nikola heard what sounded like someone's back hitting the wall. He threw the door open in time to see Druitt lunging towards Helen, knife drawn.

John looked up at Nikola then leered at Helen. "This dance isn't over," he promised before he vanished from the room.

Nikola rushed to Helen as she sank to the floor. He had never seen Helen Magnus look so small, so broken. A very small part of him was glad that she seemed to have given up the idea that she could save her lover. But all of him ached to do anything in his power to undo all the pain that she had suffered, and would likely continue to face as she began the process of healing.

He didn't know what to say or do, so he just knelt beside her and held her as she shattered.

Don't go throwing things yet. It gets happier; remember the beginning of the chapter? Yes. :)