I paced my chamber impatiently, mentally going over all the many things I wanted to say and studiously ignoring the rising panic deep within my breast. Footsteps, low voices, a swish of a curtain being pulled aside.

"My lady."

That gentle, rough voice I loved so very much. No, do not think of that now. Get this over with.

Maximus stood patiently waiting for me to acknowledge his presence.

I glanced sharply at the slave waiting beside my door.

"Leave us."

My voice sounded cold and far away.

Maximus looked slightly puzzled.

"Lucilla?" he asked softly, taking a step forward, his hand brushing my arm. I wanted so very much for him to hold me tight, to protect me forever. I pulled away.

"I am returning to Rome tomorrow with my father. We must finish this."

The hurt that sprang into his eyes stung me bitterly.

"We can still be together, Lucilla. Once this war is over -"

"When this war has ended another will begin," I retorted. "No, Maximus. You are a soldier, I am a daughter of the Emperor of Rome. We knew this was doomed before it began, and now it must end."

I could not believe what I was saying. I did not mean it. Not any of it. Yet the words seemed to flow relentlessly from my mouth. Each one a cruel barb.

"I love you," he said very quietly, not looking directly at me. "I thought -"

"You thought what, that I loved you?" I laughed spitefully. "Don't be a fool, Maximus. You were simply…convenient."

He stepped back and my words, the insult written clearly on his face. Although we were only a few feet away from each other, I felt as though I had pushed him to the other side of the world.

"You said that you loved me, Lucilla."

"I lied. You honestly think that someone like me could ever love someone like you? Our relationship was a grave mistake on my part. It degrades me. You are beneath me."

I thought I was going to choke on the silence that lay between us, separating us like icy wastelands.

"I see. I hope…I hope your journey to Rome is safe and comfortable. My best wishes to your father. He is a good man."

Before I had a chance to reply he had gone. Swept out with the light-footed grace of a practiced soldier.

My emotions overcame me and I began to shake. The only man I had ever loved, I had just deeply wounded, for no good reason. I was weak. I had succumbed to my brother's twisted blackmail.

Slow applause came from behind me. I swung round only to be confronted by my brother's unflinching gaze.

"That was quite an act, sister. You should be in a play!" he sneered at me.

Then, seeing my tears: "Don't tell me you really did love the soldier-boy? You'll get over him soon enough…maybe I could help you forget…"

This last was whispered seductively into my ear as he slid an am around my waist.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed, shoving him away with all the force I could muster.

He picked himself up slowly; the look in his eyes had changed. The hate and rage and jealousy radiated off him in waves as I fled the room, barely stifling the sobs that wracked my body.