My Sisters Keeper
Jay stood outside, phone pressed to his ear, hoping against hope that she would answer. The ringing seemed to echo, like a dead end he couldn't seam to escape from. He forced his eyes shut, struggling to keep his anxieties at bay before feeling a gentle hand drop onto his shoulder.
"Jay," came the familiar voice, soft, strong, "Come on inside."
Jay sighed, "I-" he hesitated, "I just need a minuted." He listened to his brother sigh, knowing he was shaking his head with worry as Will lingered behind him.
"Okay," Will relented after a moment, "If you say so."
"I do," Jay retorted was his younger brother and like hell was he going to see him cry, but boy did he feel like things were spiralling out of control. He listened as the front door of Molly's slammed to a close behind him, signaling that Will had, in fact, left him to his own devices before smashing his fist against the brick wall outside.
What the fuck had he done?
To say that the news came as a shock was the understatement of the century.
Mostly, because he thought she was dead. As Jay walked into the hospital, a part of him wished that maybe she was, because it meant that he hadn't given up on her. He moved towards the hospital reception area, slamming his hands down shakily, in a way that made him not quite seem in control, in a way that made him hate himself.
"I need to speak with Dr. Halstead." He managed as his fingers gripped the cool countertop seemingly supporting his weight.
"I'm sorry but-" the nurse began.
"Now." Jay cut off icily.
"I'm sorry," the nurse repeated calmly, clearly well versed in dealing with distressed family and friends, "Dr. Halstead is in emergency, he's unavailable."
Jay clenched an unclenched his fists, attempting to let the anger pass through him, "I'm his brother," he mustered through gritted teeth, "and it's important."
Jay jumped to his feet as Will came into the waiting room looking exhausted, "Jay," he began, raising an exhausted hand at his defence indicating he didn't want to fight.
"Where is she," Jay barked, "I want to see her."
"She's resting," Will replied, "She's…" he trailed off unsure of what words to use to calm his brother, "pretty beaten up."
"What does that mean." Jay demanded icily.
"It mean," Will stated definitely, "she's been through a lot."
Jay glared at him.
"I think you should go home." Will continued, "You're exhausted. Come back tomorrow, we'll tackle it then."
Jay eyed him, he could definitely take his little brother but he wasn't so sure about both the security guards at the door, or how he would get through without key card access.
"I've got this," Will tried to assure him.
Jay snorted, "Okay." He replied sarcastically and without giving Will a chance to react he turned to head back to work, since he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.
Jay texted Will first thing the next morning, not having slept more than an hour, his eyes were red and he was dead tired, but he had requested and been granted furlough.
As he made his way into the hospital, his stomach was knotted with anxiety. Nothing was for certain, nothing.
Will met him in the lobby of the hospital.
"Jay, I…" Will began.
"Just take me to her." Jay snapped.
Will sighed as he scanned his card to allow them through the emergency room doors and into the hospital wing. As they stepped into the elevator, Will began to speak, "Jay, you need to understand something."
Jay clenched his jaw but didn't oppose, which Will took as his cue to continue, "She's been through a lot. She was …" he struggled, "a prisoner."
"I got the call Will." Jay replied coldly.
"I know," Will hesitated, his voice remaining calm, "I just want you to be prepared, because, I wasn't."
"You and I aren't the same." Jay replied.
"I know," Will sighed, "and I wish…" he trailed off unsure of where he was going as he watched his older brother look up at the light emitting the numbers as they climbed the hospital floors.
"The physical and psychological trauma was severe," Will explained, "She's not the same girl we knew."
Jay turned to glare at him, his stare piercing into his brother like a knife, "Just show me where she is." He muttered as the elevator dinged to a stop on floor eleven.
Will sighed as he walked down the hall, pausing before standing outside one of the rooms, "There's one more thing." He said slowly as Jay looked at him, "They called Dad."
Jay's anger immediately turned to furry, "Are you fucking kidding me!" he demanded.
"Look," Will said, lowering his voice, "I didn't ask for this."
Jay narrowed his eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"
Will sighed, "You know I don't mean it like that, not, her, I just," he sighed again for what felt like the hundredth time, "What do you want me to do?" he asked.
Jay gritted his teeth, "Nothing," he responded and without waiting for a response Jay strode into the room, alone. Will waited, but there was only silence.
Jay stepped towards the bed, the sleeping girl had long dark hair and pale skin, and he wanted to go to her. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and burry his face in her hair.
Tears clouded his eyes, as he ran his head over her face, not quite believing what he was seeing.
She was there.
Weak.
Fragile.
But she was there, alive.
He sat in that chair for what felt like ages, just, staring at her, taking her in. She looked thin, weak, and pale, at least, where the scares and bruises weren't covering her once porcelain skin.
He shook his head, trying to escape the regret and fear building in his chest, that she wasn't who she once was. That she had gone, and he had let her, and that, he gave up on her, trying to move on but somehow never quite doing so, and that somehow, this was all his fault.
A gentle knock jolted Jay from his thoughts as he glanced across the dimly lit hospital room to see Will hovering cautiously at the door.
Jay straightened his slouched form in the uncomfortable chair ever so slightly, and Will took that as his invitation to step further into the room. "Remember when we were kids," he began, "and in the summer we would, run through the fire hydrants after someone ripped one off." Jay snorted quietly at the memory and Will couldn't tell if it made him happy or sad. He shook his head, before looking at his older brother, "How did we get here?"
Jay shrugged and shook his head, although he had lots of theories, he wasn't about to share those with his brother, not now.
"Right," Will conceded when it was clear Jay wasn't going to offer up any words of wisdom, "Well, you should know, Dad's coming by tomorrow."
Jay's eyes narrowed in anger, "There's no fucking way." He growled, careful to keep his voice low.
Will sighed, "I can't stop him."
"Like hell you can't." Jay snapped, his voice rising as his temper got the best of him.
"Look," Will remained calm, "maybe this is an opportunity, to make things right."
"Make things right," Jay spat, "You can't make those sort of things right Will."
"You can try-" Will began.
Jay pushed himself to his feet, stepping into his brothers personal space, "Make the call, and tell him not to show up."
"This isn't your call Jay," Will shook his head.
"You bet your ass it is." Jay snapped, "She's too weak for his…" he struggled to find the words, "bullshit."
"She would want-"
"You have no idea what she would want!" Jay yelled.
Will took a deep breath, "Jay, Dad is sick," he tried to reason.
"Just, not now okay." Jay put his hands up, signaling the conversation was over. He turned and sank back down into his chair, hands on his face in frustration. "Get out." The words were barely audible.
"You should go home, get some rest," Will urged.
"I'm good." Jay replied shortly, "I want to be here when she wakes up."
Jay had fallen into a restless sleep when a slight sound of rustling jolted him awake. Her fingers wiggled, her legs moved under the covers, as Jay watched her body go from waking up to panic.
Jay gently leaned forward to take her hand and as he did her hand retracted immediately as if she had been burned. Her blue eyes shot open in panic as the heart monitors screamed. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for something before landing on the iv in her hands. She moved to rip them out, but before she did, Jay spoke, "It's okay" he spoke hesitantly, his own voice sounding distant and strange, wrought with fear for his baby sister that he thought was dead.
The woman froze and Jay could see her hands shaking.
"You're safe." Jay's voice cracked with emotion, "You're safe," he repeated not knowing what else to say.
The words seemed to resonate as she slowly in his direction, keeping her eyes low as if cowering in fear.
Jay opened his mouth to speak again but before he could the doctors burst in and startled the women, "I need 100 mg's of Haloperidol!" the one doctor called out.
"No!" Jay stood up, searching the room that was now filled with doctors and nurses for his brothers face. "Stop!" he called out as the nurse handed the doctor a syringe.
"No," the woman whimpered, and when Jay looked down at her, his heart broke. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her entire body shook, her matted hair fell over her face, and he knew he had to do something.
Jay lunged across the bed and grabbed the doctors arm, "Doc, please," Jay insisted, his voice desperate, "don't pump her full of more drugs."
The doctor stared at Jay, "She's a danger to herself and other." He responded.
"Just, give me some time." Jay pushed, "I just need time."
The room was silent for a moment before the doctor relented, "I hope you know what you're doing detective. I'll have a nurse stationed just outside the door if you need anything. Remember, she's dangerous, she attacked an orderly when she arrived."
"I can handle her." Jay replied staring the doctor down.
"Fine," he surrendered; raising both hands slightly so Jay could see them. The nurses and other doctor watched the man holding the syringe, their eyes darting between him, and the person who appeared to be in charge. "It's okay," he indicated to the others as the team slowly began slipping from the room.
As the last nurse disappeared, the doctor locked eyes, "If you need anything, call" he stressed indicating with his eyes towards the red call button that was wired to a device on the bed.
"I will," Jay promised, slightly more calm now that the doctors has relinquished their ambush.
The doctor nodded and shut the door behind him.
Jay sighed and sank into the chair, his hands curling into fists to stop them from shaking. He stayed silent a moment, unsure of what to say as he processed what had just happened. Confusion swept over him as he wondered why the doctors had been so quick to react with a tranquilizer.
To him, it made sense that the woman had reacted in fear. She was probably scared and confused, and based on the debrief he had gotten, her first inclination was probably to escape because one week ago, when the Armed Forces had phoned him to tell him that Lucy, his younger sister was alive, they had also said that she had been found in a Prisoners of War camp on the boarders of Afghanistan and Pakistan along the Durand Line.
Lucy was severely malnourished, beaten, and alone. The battalion who found her reported that she was in a state of shock when they pulled her out of the small, dark hole that she had been locked in for god only knows how long. The thought of her down there made Jay feel sick to his stomach, and even worse was the thought that they almost hadn't found her. As the team searched the camp for survivors, one of the dogs had picked up Lucy's scent, leading his trainer to the place of her entrapment.
"Water…" a small, hesitant voice croaked, it sounded like she hadn't spoken it weeks, maybe months.
Jay snapped out of his thoughts to look at Lucy, wondering to himself how he could have been so stupid. He moved slowly over to the bedside table that was just out of her reach, poured a glass of water, placed it on a plastic tray and moved it to the bed. Close enough so that his sister could reach it, but not close enough to cause a repeat of her initial panic.
Lucy watched Jay very carefully move from his spot on the chair, to the water, and then return to his seat before snatching the water and downing it quickly.
Jay smiled a little, "More?" he asked, she nodded eagerly, watching as he once again slowly moved around the bed.
Lucy was still holding the glass, Jay looked at it, five years ago he wouldn't have hesitated to snatch the glass out of her hand, or shove her off the couch to tell her to get it herself, and she would have laughed, because that's what she did, she laughed. Now, he didn't even know if he could reach out towards her without frightening her, he didn't know her anymore and that made him sad, but at least she was here, he reminded himself.
"Can I…? Jay nodded at the glass.
Lucy looked down at the glass in her hand before lifting it towards him.
Jay wasn't sure if this was progress or if she was just really dehydrated, but he took the glass nonetheless, pouring he water and handing it back. He stood there this time, waiting and watching as she downed the glass and this time, she didn't seem to be as concerned with watching him, but her hesitantly was sad and difficult all the same, because even before she went to war, while she wasn't a trusting person, she trusted him.
The process repeated itself until it seemed Lucy had finished and she now returned to watching him. Jay shifted his weight back and forth, he wanted to grab her, to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That he would take care of her, and help her get back on her feet, and that he would never, ever let anyone hurt her ever again. Instead, he retreated back to his chair, wondering a little helplessly what to do next.
Lucy had returned to watching him, but it seemed her expression was no longer panicked. Jay rubbed his hands together, he opened his mouth and shut it again. He looked down at the floor, then back up at his sister who's eyes now seemed a little watery. He had to speak, he had to say something, anything to keep her calm.
"Luc," he began, his voice a little shaky, "You're in Gaffney Chicago Medical Centre, I-I'm…" he struggled, he had prayed he would find her, prayed for a miracle, and now that she was here he wasn't quite sure what to say, he looked down at his hands again.
"I know you Jay," her voice was raspy, but it was her voice, he looked up and she forced a smile as tears clouded her pretty blue eyes, "I know you," she repeated as she patted a spot beside her on the bed, shifting her weight as much as she could.
Jay breathed out a half sob as he moved to his sisters side, she lifted as hand to cup his face, tears now freely streaming down her face. "Am I …Am I…dead…"
Jay's head tilted in concern as a deep frown creased his handsome face. His sister was clearly still experiencing the effects of the drugs she had been given, but she said those words with more relief than fear, and that scared the hell out of him, "No," he replied as gently as he could, trying to hide the panic in his voice. "No, you're alive, you're safe now, I've got you."