Time told stories that managed to highlight and express themselves in many different emotions and complexities that still left people gaping from the loss twenty years later.
Antonio Fernandez Carriedo knew of this loss and the power that it held yet he could do nothing but live each day with the brightest though often fakest smile upon his face.
He could recall so clearly how Tim had left him; they'd fought again.
The two of them had fallen in love right before high school and the two fourteen year olds held high dreams and hope for the future, and so things carried on in the way that they tended to.
Antonio and Tim tended to fight when their emotions went while with the marks of being teenagers, but they stuck it out all through high school.
It was only later as college students, well in Antonio's case, and two roommates of a single apartment that things would get difficult.
They found hard times between student debt, large amounts of classes due to Antonio's interest in just about anything, and Tim's loss of his current job due to his addiction to a few, different, illegal drugs.
It came to the point where they fought everyday, practically non-stop, for hours per argument.
Antonio found himself lonely in bed where he slept and continuously kicked off the covers, only to be cold and not warm unlike when Tim shared the bed before where Antonio chose cuddling over bed sheets and the warm, security of blankets, much to Tim's dislike.
Tim was always cold at night anyway, and so he preferred the bed sheets and blankets on the bed, and he wasn't much of a cuddler.
Antonio smiled sadly at the thought of those, little things though he still had the same habit of kicking off the blankets and any loose bed sheets despite not having anyone to cuddle and bared with the shivering when he discovered how cold he was.
The Spaniard could remember that in those days, they fought about everything from whether they truly cared to Tim needed rehab.
Honestly, Antonio hadn't cared too much that his boyfriend smoked as it hadn't actually harmed Tim as far as he knew, but he'd be the first to admit that if it did come to the point of even harming him one bit, that he'd send Tim straight to rehab without letting him argue his way out of it.
Still, the Spaniard worried as not every drug that Tim smoked was in any way safe, and so he was kept up at night with the thought of Tim dying from an overdose of some drug or another.
Antonio really didn't sleep much anymore with his worries, his work, or his tendency to feel too cold to sleep, and so coffee became his escape in the morning and a lot of it did the trick of waking him up regardless of how much sleep he'd had the night before.
The Spaniard had followed his dream of being a teacher and currently worked at the same university that one of his best friends from high school ran.
He knew that many would assume that he was dating her as he did spend a lot of time with her and even teased her a bit, but really Emma liked Elizaveta who worked with kids at a local daycare; she'd quit the army a little bit before and even landed her a job working at a fancy, Hungarian cafe that reminded her everyday of her heritage and how much she loved it.
She managed to be the support and added strength that Emma may need as while Emma was not weak in every way, she was fairly easily led to potentially dangerous situations with the kindness of her heart dictating her actions.
Elizaveta could help the other woman not be led astray by those that really didn't need help and wanted to cause harm in some way to others.
Antonio, himself, while hoping for the two women's happiness, wondered why his own had gone so quickly in his youth.
He could easily remember how Tim smelled and how crooked his smirk was and just the way English words rolled off of his Dutch tongue with the hint of an exotic sounding accent.
Antonio could remember just the way Tim kissed him, quickly yet led by a passion that was out of this world, and yet he could also remember the way Tim relented to gentle hugs and kisses and allowed Antonio to cuddle him.
He missed all of this and so much more; he missed the way that only Tim could kiss his pain away or remind him to smile truly on bad days and how Antonio looked with just the shortest amount of eye contact and a heated kiss.
Antonio could recall nearly everything word for word that Tim had ever said to him and nearly all of what he said in return which Antonio's friends would call nothing short of a miracle with Antonio's poor memory.
France had sometimes called it, 'true love,' but that hurt Antonio's heart to think about, and Francis never said it anymore.
He wished that his Dutch, first and so far only love would come back to hold him and remind him of why they'd been a couple for so long amid the aching, spontaneity of teenage hormones and emotions.
Antonio longed for a long kiss from Tim to remind him of the gentle waves that could remind Antonio of their relationship when there was no fighting and only the strangely euphoric joy of their love.
He missed the way, he'd fit perfectly in Tim's arms and missed seeing those gorgeous, blomd hairs of his chest up close though Tim argued that they were gorgeous every time that Antonio said they were.
It was strange how he missed all of their silly arguments and the way that Tim's face lit up if only briefly when he smiled.
He missed embraces full of a love like no other.
Antonio had dated many people after Tim, but none of them lasted near as long or left him pining for the past.