'written on paper'
What their thinking
Eppp first fanfic go easy on me please _
Chapter 1
I wish I could go back to the days where I wasn't shy. When I loved to talk to anyone and everyone I could. But I can't so I'll have to deal. But who would have known that all it took to make me shy away from the world that I loved so much growing up, was something so simple. One thing one block that no one would have thought about. And that block for me was in the form of my mother's love. One day it was there. But the next it was gone.
I wanted to know what I did wrong. What had I done to upset her. There was no happiness in her eyes when she was me like there use to be. Her motherly love for me turned to pure hate. The comments about how beautiful I was and how my future was bright turned to insults on how ugly I was and always will be how I would be a slut and no one would love me. How? I find myself asking all the time. How can you love someone so much one day, then the next your cold, heartless and turn your back on them. Just day in and day out make their life a living hell.
My mom and dad split when I was four my mom kept me. Dad tried but mom got a restraining order for me against him that said it would only be lifted if I wanted to when I was eighteen or if my mom died. So sadly I was stuck with her. Everything happened after my eighth birthday. She started to abuse me. She never hit me 'cause that would bring unwanted attention us (her). She verbally abused me. I needed an escape and badly. And no I didn't start cutting I just wrote. One day my teacher saw one of my writings.
Emotions run deep
Scares are forever
Harassment gossip and bullying
Leave damage on the mind body and soul
Tares fall
Not as a sign of being afraid or weakness
Only as a sign of constant pain and struggle
But you can't see that
The judge-mental world has clouded your mind
Emotions run deep
Scares are forever
Harassment gossip and bullying
Leave damage on the mind body and soul
You know what your doing is wrong
But you don't care
As long as YOU find some way to feel better
Less insecure and more powerful over another
You don't give a damn who you hurt
Or how you hurt them
Knowing first hand
Yet you do it anyway
It's sickening
She liked it tried to get me to share it but I said no. Ok getting off topic. She would yell sometimes saying I look just like him. I'm guessing she meant my dad. Just day in and day out of being insulted. So can you image how relived I was when she died. I mean don't get me wrong but you do understand going seven years where the woman who is suppose to love you unconditionally hates you and makes your life miserable. So yeah hard for me to care for her like I use to when I was a kid.
So here I am now standing while they lower my 'moms' casket and not a single tear falls from my eyes. I'm surrounded by people I don't know. People I don't want to know. I just want to walk away from here why should I give a damn about someone who made my life a living hell her most of my life.
Sympathetic smiles and 'Sorry for you lose', was what I got as the people I didn't know or care about for another person I don't care about. I turn around to walk away but come face to face with an aisan girl I've never seen before. She looked around my age. Was a bit shorter then I was.
"Oh um hi are you Isabella Swan?" I nodded "Oh thank god I finally found you. I'm Angela Weber. Well actually its now Angela Swan I'm your step sister my mom and your dad got married." I nodded and took out a piece of paper saying
'Sorry I don't talk much.'
"It's ok. Oh right um your remember that restraining order your mom got against your dad?" Again I nodded "Well its been lifted."
'Finally. Wait is he here?'
" In Arizona, yes. Here in the graveyard, no. He went to your house to pack your stuff."
'Ok. You know you don't seem like that much of a bad person. You make me feel welcomed which is something I haven't felt in a while. Pretty sure I'll be talking around you in no time.' She looked shocked as she looked between me and what I wrote.
"Really?"
"Yeah really. And please call me Bella. Do you mind if I call u Angie?" She was more shocked now then she was before
"Sure I don't mind." A car pulled up and the driver honked the horn. " That's our ride ready to go Bella."
" As ready as I'll ever be Angie." She giggled and pulled me to the car.
Once we got in the car and drove off I figured if I'm going to live with these people I might as well talked to them.
"Hello Bella I'm Meg, Angela's mom. No Mrs. please it makes me feel old. You don't have to call me mom or anything Meg is just fine." I nodded and smile at her. 'how do u think she'll react if I call her mom' I passed the paper to Angie who just smiled in turn.
"Hi Bella I'm Charlie your err father. I know I haven't been there for you and all but I'm sorry. Also I not asking you to call me dad nor am I expecting you to unless you want, you can just call me Charlie." I frowned at him.
"It's not your fault. I'm sure you would have been there for me if you could have dad." His face lit up like a christmas tree when I called him dad. The rest of the car ride we talked. I told them about my mom and how she treated me. Dad said if she wasn't already dead he would have killed her. I told them that I liked girls. When that came up dad looked at me in the rear view mirror.
"Bella did she ever take you to umm you know." And I did know he was talking about my penis.
"Nope still have it. And it works just fine." I blushed at the last comment I made and so did he. Angie and mom looked confused.
"Umm Bells you want tell or u want me to."
" I'll tell. Err I was born with um … well …. a penis?" it was more of a question then a statement
"Oh thank god I was worried that with both you and Ang liking girls there would be no grandkids."
"Oh God mom please." me and Angie said in unison.
The rest of the ride me and Angela talked. It felt so good to speak again I hope I won't go back to being quite again. She told me about this girl she has a crush on but can't find the courage to ask her out. We talked about everything we could and somehow ended up talking about how Justin Beiber needs to admit she's a girl and that she's gay. We pulled up to the driveway at eleven. The house had three bedrooms each with their own bathrooms. Angie's room and mine were connected. I didn't notice how sleepy I was until my head hit my pillow.