Sunshine Eren x Reader (AU)

by nighting kale

(One Shot) Eren's day was routine enough until his friends decided that they needed to help him get over the death of a beloved friend, but they each need to confront their inner demons first. Mikasa was green with envy, Eren's delusional, Jean can't seem to let go of girl who was never meant to be with him, while Armin believes that they should move on, but never forget.

The other night dear

Lunch went as usual with Sasha scarfing down her food like there's no tomorrow, and Jean shamelessly flirting with Mikasa. The chatter of students filled the air, and the cafeteria suddenly seemed larger than it really was to a certain turquoise eyed boy. As soon as he stepped into the room, a hush came over the crowd of students. Whispers were discreetly exchanged and sympathizing eyes glanced at him to say "I'm sorry for your loss". He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and slowly waked to his best friend Mikasa, who Jean was still flirting with. Though she paid no attention to his advances, Mikasa made sure Jean scattered as she flicked her wrist in the opposite direction towards the 'popular' crowd. Her red scarf sagged from her petite form and her ebony hair shone bright. Though she was dressed in a preppy outfit, the look on her face said otherwise.

Still confused, Eren shoved his shaking hands in his navy blue jacket that had the emblem of his favorite band, The Wings of Freedom. His best friend looked at him with a face of apathy. His turquoise eyes met her lifeless ones and he tilted his head as a confused puppy would. With outstretched arms, she offered him a hug which he gratefully accepted. He buried his face in her hair, relaxing somewhat at the familiar smell. Though the two seemed trapped in their world, the whispering hadn't come to a cease and the rest of their classmates continued to stare at them.

As I lay sleeping

Releasing his friend and confidant, his peaceful look was replaced with worry when he realized the usually cheerful cafeteria was still silent except for whispered words. He nervously ran his slender fingers through his unkempt brown hair. Attention was something he wasn't used to. Mikasa leaned in to whisper the news to him, but something stopped her. It was [first]'s friend. She desperately shook her head no, signaling that she wasn't to inform Eren. Sighing, Mikasa directed Eren's attention to [first]'s friend, who in return gave her a weak smile that didn't really express joy. [Friend's name] walked across the cafeteria to meet the worried boy halfway. Her hair was matted down and was duller than usual. Tear stains marked her face and all life was gone from her eyes as well. She opened her mouth, preparing to say something, but the shrill sound of an alarm clock interrupted his dream.

Gasping for breath, Eren lifted his shaking hand up to his face, and it came back slightly wet, proof he was crying. He shook his head to clear his mind of the strange and saddening dream. He tossed away the sheets of his bed so he could free himself from the mass of blankets and textbooks. Gently, he set down his feet and stretched his arms. He glanced at the clock, which read 7:15 A.M... Groaning and moaning, he trudged to his bathroom so he could freshen up for the day.

I dreamed I held you in my arms

After wrestling his shoes on, he headed towards the front door, not caring that he had only eaten half of his burnt toast and weird tasting cereal. He did care that he forgot his book bag, though. Snatching it by the frayed left strap, he raced out the door so he wouldn't be late for school, or prison as he called it. The crisp morning air jolted him awake and put a nervous smile on his face. Hearing something slam shut, he craned his neck towards the source of it. Mikasa, his next door neighbor, or his 'other half' as people nicknamed her, started the engine on her red car. Walking over to greet her, he realized that she seemed frustrated about something. Sighing, he lightly tapped on the window. She slightly jumped, but smiled gently when she saw it was her best friend. Her cool colored eyes seemed to soften and she tucked a strand of her black hair behind her left ear. Tapping a button, a click could be heard. It signaled that the door on the passenger side was open.

"Hey, Mikasa," Eren said as he closed the door and buckled his seat belt.

"Good morning, Eren." She replied while putting the car in reverse.

Sitting in uncomfortable silence, Eren figured it was a good idea to mess around with the radio stations. All that was on was the forecast for the afternoon and boring talk shows. Even the stations that usually played good music decided that today was the day to play horrible music. Having enough of Eren switching through the stations, Mikasa slapped his hand away from the controls. Eren whimpered in pain and cradled his left hand. She only rolled her eyes and feigned annoyance. The relationship between the two was something that was always discussed among their peers.

The pair was inseparable from age 10 and never let anyone come between them except for a scrawny boy about their age named Armin. Along with Armin, the only person besides Jean to infiltrate their little group was a girl no older than them who seemed to hold the group together like glue. But everyone seemed to forget about that girl nowadays. The group always kept to themselves, but after an incident previous year, they all grew apart except for the 'trio'. Although boys perused Mikasa, their bond never broke. It was like they were a family with Mikasa taking on the role of the stern yet kind parent, and the two boys as dorky twins.

The drive to school took no more than 10 minutes and within that short time span, the two had already loosened up and began to chat like usual. It began with Mikasa complaining about some chemistry test and it ended with Eren making jokes about his English teacher. As Mikasa pulled into a parking spot, she noticed that her friend, or rather brother, was staring at something. She sighed, and unlocked the doors so she could grab her things and head to class. Eren on the other hand had forgotten all about his books to chase after a something. Mumbling about how irresponsible boys could be, she grabbed his things as well and walked at a brisk pace to catch up to them.

But when I woke dear, I was mistaken

"Good morning, Eren!" the girl said in a sing-song voice. Her eyes glimmered with joy and she radiated happiness. Eren's face had blossomed with a light pink, but the girl only giggled and made a joke about something.

"Hey, [first], I was wonder-" Eren began, but was cut off by none other than the annoying brat, Jean Kirschtein. He made some snide remark about Eren's failure on a test, but before he could continue his teasing, Mikasa stepped in to stop the two from getting into a fight. He was about to leave, but he decided that it was better to stay and try to win over Mikasa. Which was a long shot since she was already irritated, and his pick-up lines were always horrible.

"Jean, I suggest that you leave before you do something you might regret," Mikasa growled. He scampered away, not wanting to face the wrath of the black-haired girl. [First] giggled and smiled at the two of them. Mikasa only paid attention to Eren, and gave him his green book bag before walking off at a brisk pace so she wouldn't be late for class. "Don't forget them next time," she called over her shoulder to the turquoise eyed boy.

"I better get going as well. See you around Eren!" [first] grinned as she waved at the boy.

Eren waved back, but hope seemed to seep from the look on his face until he was slightly frowning. Frustrated tears dotted his vision, but he refused to let any fall. Sighing, he trudged into the school just as the first bell rang.

So I hung my head and cried

English was boring, and it consisted of Eren writing down his feelings about a certain girl. The teacher, Miss Hanji, had to pull him into the hallway to ask if he was okay not only 5 minutes ago. He only replied that he was tired, and he stayed up late studying. She nodded, not exactly believing the story. Though he wouldn't admit there was something bothering him, she patted his back and told him to go back inside, but not before she looked him in the eyes, her honey colored ones boring into his turquoise one, and told him that he could come and talk to her about anything. He merely shook his head and insisted that there was nothing bothering him. She sighed and ruffled his hair, a sign that he was to go back inside.

Lunch was no better. Everyone was staring at the 'Trio', as they were now called. Armin contributed to the conversation by saying that this girl, Annie, who was a recluse, was assigned to be his lab partner in chemistry. Mikasa added that Home Economics was horrible because she was partnered with Jean. Eren was unusually quiet and the two asked if he was alright. Nearby, some friends of theirs, Sasha, Connie, and Marco, were laughing about some joke about 'horse-face' or Jean. Armin sighed and decided to change the topic. Mikasa suggested that on Friday the three of them should have a movie marathon. Eren only picked at his food and mumbled a 'yes'.

Mikasa picked up on this, and she gently asked if it was about 'her'. Eren nodded, tears starting to form. Armin shook his head, and he sighed softly, his heart aching for his friend.

You are my sunshine

In P.E., the universe decided that today was supposed to be full of bad luck. The whole class was supposed to run laps around the track since Jean was being a smart ass to the coach. As frustrated as he was, Eren let go of the anger seething inside of him when he saw [first]. Her [e/c] eyes shone with happiness and she ran across from her spot besides her best friend, [bff] who seemed to be ignoring her.

"Hey, [first]. How's your day been?" Eren asked, pretending to seem less eager than he appeared.

"It's been fine, Eren. How are you?" [first] asked him, seemingly content with the moment.

"I'm fine, [first]. You don't need to worry about me; I'm not a child," he retorted, but instantly regretted it.

His friend let a frown creep on to her face and she huffed in annoyance. She tossed her lovely [h/c] hair over her shoulder and proceeded to stomp away. Eren was about to call after her, but Jean's annoying voice cut through the afternoon air like a knife would cut through butter.

"Who are you talking to, Jaeger? Your invisible girlfriend?" he sneered. His golden eyes said something else though. They showed pity and even though he was laughing at Eren, it looked like a part of him secretly died inside.

"No," he murmured, his voice low and full of grief.

"Stop waiting around you pansies! I don't have all day!" Coach Shadis shouted at the students. Everyone groaned and shot dirty looks at Jean for making them have to run laps.

My only sunshine

Laughter filled the room. Boys were playfully flirting with the girls, and Eren was sitting by himself, sulking. Connie had made a joke about something, and a roar of snickers and giggles followed after. His partner in crime, Sasha, was on the floor, rolling around in a fit of giggles.

"Oi, Eren! You want to play a round of 'truth or dare' with us?" Connie asked the sulking boy.

"Sure," Eren replied a little too eagerly.

He trotted over to the group; which consisted of Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Berthold, Krista, Marco, and of course, Jean. He reluctantly wedged himself in between Krista and Marco on one of the desks. Krista whispered the details of what happened previous and Marco was all flustered due to Krista bringing up said information.

"Okay Eren, truth or dare?" Jean inquired while arching an eyebrow.

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, and replied with, "Truth."

Several people went 'ooh' and suppressed several snickers by biting the inside of their cheek lightly. Jean was taken aback, surprised at Eren's answer. It was clear Jean was ready to server up a nasty dare, but he concentrated for a moment before countering with a shocking 'truth' question.

"If you could say one last thing to [first], what would it be?" he said in a serious tone.

Eren's eyes widen with shock. The shock was soon replaced by anger and his eyes burned with hatred. Everyone, including Krista, leaned forward slightly to hear his answer. They all knew that [first] was a weak spot to Eren, and it usually included a death wish if anyone made fun of him for it, or her for a matter of fact.

"I-I'd tell her how sorry I am for making her run off like that. I'd tell her how much she meant to us—to me! I'd tell her that I love her," Eren said through grit teeth. His turquoise eyes still burned with passion, and Jean's mouth was just a thin line on his face. Content with Eren's answer, he then turned to the group, about to speak, when Marco held his hand up to pacify his friend.

"I get it. I knew I was never the one for her, but I did love her as much as you did. Hell, we all loved her as much as you did, but you never got that through your thick head. It was always [first] and Eren. It was never Jean and [first].It was never Eren and Mikasa. It was always [first] and Eren. But you forgot we cared too. It would be better for all of us if our memories of her just died like she did!" Jean shouted. Tears were streaming down his face, and Marco was trying to console him, but he just shoved him off.

You make me happy, when skies are grey

After hearing about Jean's little outburst in History, Mikasa decided it was a good idea to round up the old 'gang' for a little talk. She puffed out her cheeks and waited for the rest of the group in the library. It was serene, almost peaceful if not for the librarian, a Miss Ilse, who was whisper-yelling at a girl, who was possibly Mina Carolina, for not putting the books back properly.

She sighed, and lightly drummed her slender fingers against the table. It was only seconds later that the first member of the 'Titan Slaying and Peace Making Club' appeared. Jean eyed the seat next to Mikasa, but thought against it and grabbed the seat nearest to the window. The golden rays of sun illuminated his hair and eyes, making him seem more mature than before. Eren came not two minutes later, with Armin in tow. Both had flushed faces and each grabbed a seat so the meeting could continue. The large bookshelves surrounded the group and the table they were sitting at, making it seem as though they were in a fortress once again.

"I assume that everyone knows why we're here? Am I right?" Mikasa asked, her eyes flickering to each group member. Her gaze lingered longer on Jean and Eren, making them shudder inwardly and avert their gaze towards the exit. She sighed and stretched back in chair, trying to ease her tense nerves.

"Just to be clear, Jean started it," Eren grumbled only loud enough for the group to hear. Mikasa and Armin shot glances at Jean, but did nothing to upset him even more since they saw the dried tear stains on his face.

"Eren, it was fine the first couple of months, but this has gone on long enough. It's always [first] this and [first] that. You're blind to those around you, who are willing to help you get over her," Mikasa said gently.

"No! You don't understand. I don't want to forget her. I'm worried that if I move on, she'd never forgive me," Eren cried. Miss Ilse shot the group in the far corner of the library a dirty look, but didn't say anything since there wasn't anyone else in the library at the time.

"Eren, this needs to stop. You can't keep torturing yourself by imagining her-" Mikasa said in a stern voice, but was cut off by Eren.

"Oh stop it Mikasa. We all know that you want her gone for good because you're jealous of her. Even when she's dead she's getting more attention that you. In fact, weren't you the one who started saying all of those mean things about her in the first place on that day?" He sneered. His cold attitude seemed to have slapped the poor girl in the face and her mouth just became a thin line.

Tears streamed down her face. She sniffled and wiped away them away since she considered crying a sign of weakness. Jean consoled her and actually held her in his arms for a moment to soothe her; like he used to when they were younger. Her uneven breathing slowed down, and she pushed herself away from Jean, eyes cold and lifeless.

"I guess I'll always be a second best when it comes to [first], then. She always has the perfect, luminous [h/l] [h/c] hair, and her eyes arealways a vibrant shade of [e/c]. Oh, and she always looks good without even trying. You don't understand, Eren! I was never a contender for your affections when she was around. Because no one can compete with the amazing [first] [last], the queen of perfection! Even when she's dead, she still has the ability to capture your full attention!" she shrieked.

Eren sat there with his arms crossed, and his lips pursed. He knew that Mikasa was and is jealous of his precious [first]. Armin was scolding her for basically yelling the library, but she was too riled up to care anymore. Her eyes were blazing, and tears streaked down her face.

The sun that shone earlier was nowhere to be found. It seemed that the weather was responding to the overall mood of the group. Mikasa stood there, hand raised and ready to strike, but the two other boys were there to hold her back. Fury and despair radiated off her slender form, but Eren wasn't afraid of her. She was only human, and this was her breaking point.

"I knew you were jealous of her, but I never knew that you truly hated her. Even when you were a total bitch to her, she didn't care. All she wanted was to be friends with the one girl she admired, you, Mikasa. Hell, even when you said those horrible things to her that day, she made an excuseas to why you were so mean. You know what she said? She said: 'It's okay, Jean. Mikasa is my friend, and I know she didn't mean it. She's probably just having a bad day'," Jean whisper-yelled at the black haired girl.

"She cared about everyone here. She didn't just bring together a group of total strangers, she brought together a family. If she saw us know, she'd be disappointed in us for behaving no better than children," Armin added quietly.

Eren sighed and looked over at [first], who had tears streaming down her face. Her [e/c] eyes were slightly red and puffy. He rested a hand on her shoulder and she gave him a gentle smile.

"It's okay, Eren. It's not fair of me to stay here and torture all of you with my presence. I really should go this time. For real," [first] murmured only loud enough for Eren to here.

"No, you can't go yet, [first]. We still need you," he whispered while hot tears fell from his face onto the table.

"That's the thing, Eren. When people walk away from you, you let them walk away. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves you. And it doesn't mean that they are bad people, it just means that their part in your history is over*. I don't want to be an anchor who weighs you down, so move on and be happy," she said with a bittersweet smile.

The whole group stopped arguing to witness Eren talk to an empty seat. Their attitudes cooled down so they could comfort their weeping friend. Silent sobs racked through his body, and he rocked back and forth in his chair.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

After the emotional meeting, Eren suggested that they go 'visit' [first] one last time to ease their minds. Armin agreed and so did Jean, but Mikasa was being stubborn and only agreed to go if she didn't have to again in the near future.

So there they were, 'visiting' their friend, on a Wednesday afternoon when they were supposed to be at school. Eren broke down the second they got there, and went rambling on to an empty spot near a patch of [f/c] flowers. Jean wept as well, since he too loved [first], but he wasn't loud. No, he silently cried and occasionally wiped his eyes every once in a while to attempt to get himself to stop crying, but he failed miserably. Mikasa, though she was still simmering due to earlier, she let herself cry.

"I'm so sorry, [first]. I never meant to say those things. Now, I can't take it back. I just hope you'll forgive me," she whispered with sincere apology.

Armin just eyed the marker, which said:

[first] [last]

Loving daughter

and

Good friend

"The world will be a darker place without you"

Though he did feel the need to mourn their friend, no tears fell. His eyes just flickered back and forth between a crying Eren and Jean, and a now emotionless Mikasa. Jean unlike Eren, had the capacity to move on from [first], but chose not to and to dwell in the past. Eren, on the other hand, did not have the ability to move on. His past was too caught up with his present, and he truly did believe that he would never find a girl like [first].

"Guys, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present," Armin spoke to his friends. Mikasa only arched an eyebrow and Eren craned his neck to look at his friend.

"Armin, did you really just quote 'Kung Fu Panda'?" Jean asked while sniffling.

That caused the group to burst out laughing, though the situation was dreary only moments before. Several of them were clutching their stomach since they were laughing so hard. The sky lightened and the sun broke through the barrier of grey clouds.

"This is what she would've wanted, guys. For all of us to be friends again," Eren said between laughs. For the first time in forever, truly smiled Not a mask, a true smile. Caught up in all of the excitement, he spun around happily, giggling like a small child. Everyone followed suit, and they ended up all laying together in a circle of friends, even with [first], just not the way they imagined it.

Little did the group know, [first] was there watching over them, as she promised she would.

"Thank you, guys. I'll miss you. Mikasa, I'll miss your determination. Armin, I'll miss your ability to empathize with the group. Jean, I'm sorry I couldn't return your feelings, but I wasn't the right person for you. You were just in love with the idea of me. One day, you'll find someone who returns your feelings. Eren, oh, where do I begin? I've loved you the entire time I've know you. I just never got the courage to tell you. My love for you is and was the type where I want to spend the rest of my life with you and the type where I want you to be happy, and not be pained by my memory. I promise I'll watch over you guys. All I ask is that you lead happy lives without me," [first] said as the sunlight made her already transparent body more translucent. A single tear slid down her cheek before there was nothing left to see of her.

As the group sat up from their spots on the soft grass, they noticed there was a new flower besides her grave. It was [f/c], and seemed to capture her beauty in a way words could not.

6 years later

Jean, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin all graduated as best friends and two of the four were married already. Jean married this lovely girl who was really sweet and Armin married this really smart and caring girl. Eren had a date later due to an accident with coffee, and Mikasa was dating this guy who was a coworker of hers. Through they somewhat drifted apart, they still kept in touch when they felt down. Over the course of the years, they realized that [first] really was the glue that held them together. Even though Eren did move on, a small part of him held [first] dear to him, and secretly, he knew that no one could ever fully replace her. Whenever he felt alone, he'd envision her with her [h/l] [h/c] hair and her sparkling [e/c] eyes that showed pure happiness. The others realized this as well, but didn't say anything since the past was in the past. The only thing that kept the group up at night wondering was [first]'s promise to them and what she wanted for them. They all heard her speech, but Jean, Mikasa, and Armin all lied to their hearts. They told themselves that it was just grief that made them imagine it. Eren on the other hand knew it was her, and those words made all the difference to him.

"I promise I'll look after you guys. All I ask is that you lead happy lives without me"

So please don't take my sunshine away