One on One
by kmc
SUMMARY: Shameless Dan/Casey slash, but nothing R-rated, couple of swear words.
Feedback is welcome at katemsn@yahoo.com
CSC
1:43 pm
"Casey."
"I'm not talking to you."
CSC
2:26 pm
"Casey."
"Still not talking to you."
CSC
5:57 pm
"Come on, Casey, you're being childish."
Casey's tone was flat and he never looked up. "I am rubber, you are glue, I am still not talking to you."
Dan leaned forward on his elbows, his laughing eyes devious nonetheless. "Well, I remember you saying quite a few words last night. Want me to repeat them?"
"Not especially." The office was silent again, except for the low buzz of a fluorescent light that needed to be replaced.
Dan kicked back in his chair. "It was a game, Casey. A *game*. Not a national election, not an Olympic trial." Dan mindlessly scratched his stomach through his sweatshirt. "Why are you so damn uptight about everything?"
Casey looked over coolly, thought of what those long fingers had..."You cheated."
Dan laughed and shook his head. "I didn't cheat."
God, Dan's lower lip was more expressive than some people's entire vocabulary. He was currently managing repentant and smug simultaneously, and Casey wondered if it was possible to have the equivalent of double-jointed lips. This thought caused images of last night, of many, many nights, to flash in his head like an obscene Powerpoint presentation. Not that he didn't love the words that came out of that mouth, too, just that they sounded much better when they were reverberating against his own chest, that perfect baritone of Dan's broadcast voice swirled with pleading and need and...
Casey tried picturing his mother in her bathrobe, but he could actually smell Dan's cologne from over here and was it too late to find his own office? "You cheated," Casey insisted.
"I..." Dan flipped through his mental thesaurus, looked around, and settled for "*distracted* you."
"Causing me to lose." Casey's eyes closed in what Dan thought of as his Closing Argument Pose.
"Nah, you'd have lost anyway."
"I may have an impressive lack of skill but I do have height on my side, and I would have won," Casey bent back over his work, "if you hadn't distracted me."
"Think what you like, big man." Dan rifled the desk drawer looking for a Pen That Worked in their giant collection of Pens That Didn't. He loved to write, black ink on a legal pad, to feel the impression of the letters on the paper, almost like Braille, to flip pages and see his progress. Typing was a necessary evil, never left a smudge of ink on the heel of your hand. "And why weren't you mad last night?"
Casey shrugged his disappointment. "I guess I was too stunned at your lack of basketball ethics."
Dan snorted. He'd seen many emotions on Casey's face last night, anger wasn't one of them. "Yeah, that or too horny."
"Who's horny?" Natalie asked, poking her head in the doorway.
"Every male on the planet," Dan filled smoothly, grinning at the rising flush on Casey's face.
"Dana wants to know if you'll grace us with your presence for the rundown."
"Right there," Casey called as she flitted out the door.
Just before he opened the door Casey leaned in, one hand on Dan's shoulder, and whispered, "If you undressed me in here we might be a little less obvious."
Dan stood frozen in the doorway, calling to Casey across the newsroom. "Now how do you expect me to concentrate with THAT image in my head?"
**********************************************************
"Dan? Danny?"
Dan reluctantly boarded the seaplane back from Fantasy Island. "Huh? Yeah, sorry, hmm?"
"You okay?" Dana asked.
"You seem *distracted*," Casey commented, and the fake curiosity in his expression was almost laughable, almost kept Dan from wanting to slap it off.
"No, fine. I'm fine, I mean. Just fine."
Isaac flashed a false smile. "Glad to hear you're fine, Daniel. Now maybe we could wrap this up?"
"Okay," Dana chirped as she handed out final assignments to the P.A.s and the room slowly drained of people.
Elliott turned just as he hit the doorway. "Hey, Casey, you and Dan weren't shooting hoops in the park yesterday, were you?"
Casey was still musing over how best to torture Dan for his daydreaming once they got back to the office. "Yeah, why?"
"Friend of mine said he saw you."
Casey did an admirable job of talking over the sound of his pounding heart. Poe had nothing on him. "Just a quick game of 21, nothing serious," he shrugged.
Elliott left. Casey turned his head slowly to see Dan's mouth hanging open just enough to make him look stupid.
"So who won?" asked Jeremy.
"What?" Dan asked, relieved that the power of speech hadn't totally abandoned him.
"Who won?" Jeremy repeated uncertainly.
"Danny did," Casey nodded, mostly recovered, "but he cheated," he added as he stood.
"I...I..."
"Very eloquent, Dan. We've got work to do, come on."
The setting of Dan's latest fantasy was now tense and stagnant, the disco ball (hey, it was his fantasy) replaced by that damn flickering light. Dan sucked in a breath he couldn't quite catch. He intently studied the surface of the desk while Casey sat hunched over on the couch.
Finally Dan couldn't take it anymore. Words were his security blanket, his weapon of choice, maybe now they could help him whip up a little revisionist history.
Because surely Elliott didn't say what he said.
Dan's nervous eyes skittered over to Casey. "Somebody saw."
"I know." Casey's fingers worried over his bottom lip.
"Somebody saw us."
"Yes."
"You and me."
Casey jumped up and crossed the room. "Look, we played for an hour, we have no idea what Elliott's friend saw." He reached a few inches over his head to whack the light, which had begun to blink Morse Code. Probably inciting mutiny in the rest of the light fixtures, Casey thought.
Dan nodded and swallowed convulsively.
"As long as it wasn't right at the end, we're okay." Casey's fist tightened, as though his reasoning was something tangible he could hold on to, could hold out to Dan and make him smile again, laugh like he had this morning.
Dan's face was as drained of color as Casey had ever seen. "But we don't know," he said simply.
Casey returned to the couch, dropping his head in his hands. He wanted to make this better, for both of them, and he had no idea how. He felt every bit as powerless as the day Lisa left him.
Dan read his resignation as anger, naturally, and nearly twisted the life out of a Ticonderoga #2. He never meant to hurt anyone, and yet it seemed he always did. It's all fun and games until someone loses a job. "It was a stupid thing to do, Casey. I'm sorry."
Casey looked up, confused by the sudden contrition in Dan's voice. He immediately realized Dan had read his silence as anger. He had to get better at this sort of thing. Losing Lisa was hard, losing Danny would be unbearable. He knelt beside Dan's chair, appearances be damned. "No, Danny, it wasn't stupid. This isn't your fault. We didn't know anyone was watching."
Casey was too familiar with the self-hatred in his partner's eyes. "It's a goddamn public park, Casey. I should have thought..."
Casey hand dropped to Dan's thigh, a quick squeeze, unmistakably intimate, then it was gone. "Hey, it's okay." Casey quickly weighed his own embarrassment against Dan's guilt. "And if you want to know the truth, I thought it was sexy as hell."
"Yeah?" Dan smiled a little. "I thought you were mad."
"Nah. I'm just a sore loser. You know that about me."
Dan desperately wanted to suck on Casey's lower lip, but had to settle for sucking on his own.
"So what do we do?"
Casey stood decisively. "I say we do nothing."
"Really?"
Casey nodded. "We go charging around making a big deal of this and we'll make it one. Just leave it alone. It'll go away."
"Right," Dan agreed, "he probably didn't see anything anyway."
"Just two guys playing basketball."
"Nothing out of the ordinary."
"Nothing at all."
"Until I ...distracted you."
"You cheated."
"You just said..."
Casey's voice was a stage whisper, the words hissing out of him. "You *kissed* me, Danny! In the middle of a basketball game!"
"And I won."
Casey made a face as though Dan's victory left a bad taste in his mouth. "That breaks some kind of Men's Code somewhere," he sulked and fell back into his own chair.
Dan ambled over, leaned in behind Casey, his voice almost a tactile entity. Casey could swear he felt it crawl over his skin. "I'm pretty sure most of the things you did to me last night break the Men's Code."
"Not to mention laws in some Southern states."
"There you have it."
"What?"
"A way to blame this on Jerry Falwell."
********************************************************
CSC
8:04 pm
"Danny?"
Dan didn't spare a glance from his piece on the Steelers. "Hmm?"
"Maybe we should tell some people."
Now his head swung around almost violently. His fingers clumped unceremoniously on the keyboard, causing him to type 'kasjghdfjn', and Spell-check disapproved. "What?"
Casey raised his hands to ward off the attack he could see coming. "Look, at first I thought the fewer people who knew, the better."
"Preaching to the choir."
"But now I'm thinking it might be nice for both of us, to have other people to ask for help, or at least advice."
Dan raised his eyebrows, considering the advantages. "And run interference?"
"Something like that, yes."
Dan narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. So who's on this Fantasy League Defense of yours?"
"What about Dana?"
Dan picked up the phone. "Do you have to be a doctor to have someone committed?"
"What's wrong with Dana?"
Dan dropped the phone into the cradle. "Remember those 'Loose Lips Sink Ships' posters from World War II? If Dana had been alive then we'd all be goose-stepping through Times Square."
Casey conceded the point. "What about Isaac?"
Dan's brow wrinkled. "I don't know. Maybe. Can I sleep on it?"
Casey didn't meet Dan's eyes. "Sure. Whatever you need."
Dan nodded thoughtfully and tried to go back to his script, but Casey's voice was a predatory growl, creeping across the space between them. "But I wouldn't plan on getting much sleep tonight if I were you."
Dan looked up and grinned. "You thought it was sexy, huh?"
Casey smiled, his tongue jutting to one side.
Danny smirked, "I knew it," and ducked the pencil that flew at his head.
*************************************
Casey's apartment
1:48 am
Casey stared at the ceiling as his breathing slowed and his skin cooled. He couldn't remember a time when he actually made decisions on his own, was able to form an opinion without someone else's input.
Of course his unilateral decision track record wasn't so hot; see the entries for Lisa and Sally.
There was a time when he'd have picked up the phone and called Danny, hoping he wasn't waking him.
But that time was gone. Had been for months now. Almost...wow, almost a year. He'd have to look that up, he knew better than to forget another anniversary.
"So I was thinking."
"Mmmm...bout what?" Dan's voice was as warm and rumpled as the sheets.
"Telling people."
"Aw, Case, you promised."
"You dozed there for a second or two."
"That hardly counts as sleeping on it."
"Come on, Danny."
Dan sat up reluctantly, sheets pulled tightly over his knees. He wiped a hand over his face, a hand that sill held the faint warm scent of Casey's skin. "All right, look, I just think we should consider whether the benefits over the duration would outweigh the costs."
Casey sat up. "Oh my god, I'm dreaming I'm in a budget meeting. Someone pinch me."
Dan obliged with a smirk. "I'm just asking if we shouldn't consider the possible duration of this situation before we decide whether it would behoove us to tell anyone."
Casey blinked. "What situation? You mean with Elliott's friend? I thought we already decided..."
Dan couldn't meet his eyes. "No, I mean *this* situation. Us. You and me."
"You refer to our relationship as a situation?"
"You hate the word 'relationship'."
"Not as much as I'm coming to hate the word 'situation'", Casey spat, stabbing a particularly vicious set of air-quotes onto the word.
"It's just that if this is only a temporary...condition...then I can't see the point in involving other people."
"And its temporary nature would weigh on your judgment?"
"It would affect it, yes."
Even though he could already picture Dan's expression, Casey flipped on the bedside light. "Danny, is this your way of asking me if I'm leaving?"
Dan appeared to be personally verifying the thread count of Casey's sheet. "Your attentions have been known to drift."
"What am I, a child? I'm distracted by shiny things?"
At first Casey thought Dan was getting out of bed, but he just sat on the edge. His voice wrapped low around his shoulders like a cold wind. "You were distracted by Sally."
Casey looked up, pleading with the heavens to give him strength. Dan's back was to him, and his breath caught as he realized there was no part of Dan's body that didn't turn him on. He reached for Dan's shoulder, and when it didn't move he crawled on top of the covers to sit behind his best friend. He let his forehead rest on Dan's shoulder.
"That was a long time ago. And it was a huge mistake."
"Huge?"
"Of enormous proportions."
Dan's laugh was so sharp Casey felt it sting. "Just like Sally."
"Come on, Danny." His hand slid over Dan's shoulder and snaked across his broad chest. Casey moved his chin up to rest on Dan's shoulder. It could still surprise him that such a big man could be so fragile. Dan needed reassurance, and if that was what he needed, then Casey would give it to him. Anything. The rest was just vanity, or so he'd been told.
"If it was just up to me, I'd have told them all by now. How much I love you, how happy you've made me." Casey had a flash of insight into the failure of his marriage. Not only had he never said these things to Lisa, he'd never really felt them for her either. "But this doesn't just involve me, it involves you too. And it could affect both of our careers." He nuzzled Dan's ear, planted soft kisses up and down his neck. "But whether we tell people or not, I'm not going anywhere."
Dan twisted just enough to wrap an arm around Casey's waist. Dropped a feathery light kiss on Casey's pale shoulder. "So this is....?" He traded oxygen for a lungful of the sweaty tang of Casey's skin. "This is good." Dan raised his head. "But you know me, it's just a matter of time before I say something stupid to screw things up."
Casey shook his head. "I won't let you."
Dan's eyes glimmered. "You couldn't stop me on Draft Day, Casey." His hand wound loosely in Casey's. "I jumped off that cliff all by myself."
Casey lightly scratched Dan's back. "You were upset and you wouldn't talk to me. I tried, remember when I followed you into editing? I tried to talk to you, but you wouldn't. Then my ego got in the way." Casey sighed, let his body lean more into his friend. "We could have seen that coming like a train in a tunnel, Danny. We just let it run over us." He shrugged. "Next time we have to be more careful, push each other out of the way." With two fingers in the hollow of his cheek he turned Dan to face him. "And you need to talk to me, or to Abby, whoever. I'm not saying it'll always be easy, but we can't just give up on it. I won't give up on us, Danny, not that easily. Ever."
Danny's breath hitched, "I won't either, Casey. I promise."
Casey smiled, breathing the scent of Dan's hair, rifling his fingers through it as he held him close. "So, if your decision was based on the potential longevity of our relationship, what's the verdict?"
Dan buried his face in Casey's neck, imbibing a saline cocktail of tears and sweat. "Who do we tell first?"
A laugh rumbled from Casey's chest, and he pulled Dan in tighter. Scooting back on the pillows Casey switched off the light as they lay down, comfortably tangled together. Darkness was safer, still, words easier to say.
"Whatever happens, it's me and you, okay?" Casey's head rested on Dan's chest, one arm flung across Dan's body, proprietary but gentle.
Dan rubbed it, dropping kisses into Casey's hair. "Good, because I really can't do it without you."
Casey knew he was serious, but they needed a break in the mood. "Well, you could, but it wouldn't be half as much fun."
Dan's gentle laugh crested in his chest, then the waves smoothed as his breath became heavier and steady, and Casey drifted to sleep on the rhythm of his best friend's heartbeat.
CSC
10:13 am
Casey's blush was already in full bloom and he hadn't even left the office yet. Dan got up and perched on the corner of the desk.
"Sure you don't want me to go with you?" His knuckles grazed Casey's upper arm.
Casey shook his head. "No. I think that would be too much. Too weird for her."
Dan nodded and sat back down on the sofa with the laptop. He tapped his fingers idly on the black casing. "You and Dana have a past."
Casey got up to pace for the tenth time that morning. "True, but she's practically living with Calvin." He stopped in the middle of the room. "What, you don't think she's over me?"
Dan's jaw twitched. "Not what I was thinking."
Casey stared at the side of Dan's face for a second before it sunk in. He pulled a chair over to the sofa, so he could look Dan in the eye.
"Danny, I'm about to go and declare my undying love for you to my neurotic, not-quite-ex-girlfriend of a boss. What more proof do you need," Casey spread his arms wide, "that not only am I over her, but that I am head-over-heels in love with you?"
Dan smiled. "I really want to kiss you right now."
Casey glanced toward the busy bullpen. "Quick one, nobody's looking."
Dan did. "Go talk to Dana," he ordered, then went back to staring at the screen. "Casey," he stopped him before he made it to the door.
"Yeah?"
Dan's voice was low and rumbly and made Casey smile. "I love you too."
Which did nothing to make the blush go away.
******************************************
"Dana?"
"Yeah?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Shoot."
"Privately."
"How privately?"
"Locked door privately."
"Conference room?"
"On another floor."
"That privately, huh?"
Settled two floors down, in a room with real walls, Casey lost all verbal finesse and wished he'd brought some notes. Much easier to talk with a script in front of you. He never was good at play-by-play.
"Casey, I have phone calls to make, so..."she made a rolling motion with her finger.
"You're happy with Calvin, right?"
"Oh, Casey, you're not doing it again, are you? You do this every time I meet someone and..."
Casey held out his arms, mentally cursing his useless communications degree. "No, no! I just....wanted to tell you that...I met someone."
Dana looked suspicious. "You did?"
Casey ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Yes, and I thought you should probably know about it."
"Why? Your personal life is your business."
"Because it's someone from work and that makes it a little bit your business."
"Oh." Dana looked like she was holding back a grin. "You didn't start sleeping with Sally again, did you?" Casey shook his head, chagrined. "Because if I find out you're cheating on Danny I'll castrate you myself."
The chair he was sitting in had leather padding on the arms, which Casey was now attempting to drive his blunt fingernails into. Anything to keep from sliding into the floor. "You...you ...how...but I ...how did you know?"
A smug smile and a shrug were his only answers. "And we pay you to talk," she said in mock amazement. "Is it really important how I know?" She leaned across the table. "Does this mean you're ready to tell people?"
Casey's mouth moved, but no sound made its way out.
Dana finally took pity on him, reaching for his flailing hand. "I left something here one night, came back to get it, and you two were kissing in the doorway to your office."
The temperature of Casey's face could only be measured in Kelvin. He half-laughed, half-groaned.
"I tried to beat it out of there, but I heard you talking a little. It was obvious that this wasn't a one-time fling."
Casey studied Dana's surprisingly serious face. "It was a private moment and I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I wanted to say something, but I thought you two would tell me when you were ready. I must say you've hidden it well. I don't think I would have known if I hadn't known what to look for."
"What do you mean?" he asked in a full-scale panic.
She smiled at him. Casey had always been obtuse about relationships. "You really don't know, do you?"
Casey's blank look answered that. "When you really love somebody, truly care about them, you can't keep that a secret. Not from the people who know you. Your eyes give you away, your body gives you away. You watch them more than normal, try to catch their eye, you stand near them, touch them..." she tilted her head. "I mean, you and Danny have always had that, that connection, but it's different now. More intimate."
Panic settled on Casey's face again, but Dana just held his hand tighter. "Don't worry, like I said, you two have always been like that, and I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't looking for it."
Casey's brow wrinkled. "Who else knows?"
Dana blinked and sat back in her chair. "I haven't told anyone."
"Not even Natalie?"
"Not even Natalie."
"Wow, I'm really impressed."
"You should be, it nearly killed me."
The nervous laugh that finally spilled out of him flooded Dana as well, and as she squeezed his hand tears came to her eyes.
"So was I barking up the wrong tree all that time, or is this the first, um, you know, the first?"
Casey shook his head. "No, this is a first, for both of us." He looked down at the tabletop and it took him a moment to get the right words. "I never thought I would do anything like this, but I love him. And I've," he exhaled loudly, "never felt with anyone what I feel when I'm with him." He choked on ancient tears. "I waited ten years to be happy in my marriage, and by the time I figured out that wasn't going to happen, it was over. I thought that was just the way it was supposed to be for me." His hands dropped into his lap. "And all that time, happiness was waiting for me, so close I could touch it, but I didn't even know what it looked like."
Dana walked around the table to sit next to him. "Oh, honey, you deserve it. You are happy, aren't you?"
A smile, heartbreakingly honest, told her more than his answering nod.
"I'm glad, Casey." She rubbed his back. "What made you decide to tell me now?"
"Initially? Fear," he went on, relating their paranoia over the basketball incident, "but mostly we just thought it would be nice to have someone on our side."
She sniffed, dabbing at her eyes. "I've always been on your side." She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Want me to dig around and find out what Elliott's friend saw?"
Casey's felt absurdly grateful. "Would you?"
"Yeah, of course I will."
They both pushed their chairs back and stepped toward the heavy wooden door.
"So, can I ask one more question?"
"I guess so." Casey's eyes darted toward the escape route, just in case.
"How long?"
"Um, I think it's been ten months now."
"Wow, really? But that's not what I meant. I meant how long do you plan to keep, um, seeing each other?"
"Oh, oh. Funny, we talked about that last night."
"And?"
Casey took a slow breath. He was already in this deep. "Till death do us part may be corny, but it would be the right sentiment."
Dana reached up and wrapped him in a hug. "Oh, Casey." She pulled back, her eyes damp again. "You take good care of him."
"Yes, ma'am." One of her tears must have rubbed off on his cheek, he thought, because he certainly wasn't crying.
**********************************
Dan was about to jump out of his skin by the time Casey returned. He'd checked the inter-office email six times, to see if Dana had already circulated a memo.
Pokerfaced, Casey flopped down on the sofa and stared out the window.
Dan felt like beating his head on the desk. Or Casey's. "Well?"
Casey's gaze remained serenely on the traffic below. "She already knew."
Dan felt his stomach drop right through the floor, his voice a breathless squeak. "What?"
"She already knew."
Dan rolled the chair next to Casey. "What...how...how...what?"
"Funny, that's what I said." He crossed his arms. "She saw us one night."
"Shit. Who has she told?"
"No one."
Dan couldn't comprehend that. "What do you mean, no one? You've got to be kidding."
Casey shook his head, finally turning to look at his partner. "She was really happy for us, Danny. I've never seen her like that." He grinned. "She must really be in love."
Dan rubbed Casey on the shoulder. "I know how she feels." His gaze wandered over Casey's face. "She's a good friend."
Casey nodded quickly, smiling at Dan's hand still on his arm. "The best."
*******************************************************************
That night Dana handled the rundowns as professionally as she usually did, meaning they were mostly business but skidded off on one or two weird tangents.
But at the end of the 10:00, "Dan, Casey, hang back for a minute, okay?"
Nervous foot-tapping and swallowing as the room cleared.
Once the door had closed, she folded her hands on the table in front of her. "Elliott's friend only saw you walking toward the court with a ball, not actually playing."
Dan slumped back in his chair. "Thanks, Dana."
"I can't believe you kissed him in the middle of a basketball game!" Dana's eyes were huge. "That's so, I don't know, un-sportsmanlike."
Dan grinned. "But I won."
Dana shrugged. "That's all that counts."
Casey folded his arms but couldn't quite bring himself to look mad. "No one is on my side."
Dana smiled at him. "You two make a cute couple, you know."
Casey grinned at Dan. "We've created a monster."
Dana stood. "Just let me know if you need anything else. And no more secrets, okay?"
Casey took her hand and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you."
Flustered from all the attention, Dana cleared her throat. "Well, I guess you guys need to change, huh? Casey, you go on, I want to talk to Dan for a minute."
The two men exchanged questioning looks as Casey left the room.
Dana leaned against the end of the conference table. "You make him talk to you, Dan. I know he doesn't like to, but you make him tell you when things are bothering him. He makes things so much bigger than they have to be."
Dan felt like he should be taking notes. "I know."
"And he comes off so self-assured but he's not really, so don't believe..."
Dan smiled. He was way past Casey 101. He was up into graduate level field research at this point. "Dana," he held her elbows lightly, "I know."
She looked up into his face. "Yeah, yeah, I guess you do." She had started crying. "I just want this to last, for him, for both of you." She wrapped Dan in a fierce hug for a small woman. "Take care of him, Danny, he loves you so much."
Dan smiled one more time, kissed the top of her head. "I will."
Dana blotted her eyes, salvaging what was left of her makeup. "He told me he wants this to last forever, but he wanted the same thing for his marriage and..."
"This won't be like that."
"I know," and the smile was back, a certainty with it. Dana smacked him playfully on the arm. "Go get ready."
"Okay." He hesitated at the door. "I love him too, you know."
"I know. Now go on."
************************************************************************
CSC
10:58
"Dan, Casey, two minutes."
"You ever get the idea we're afterthoughts?"
"Huh?" Casey glanced sideways as Dan clipped on his mike.
"I think they just see us as part of the set sometimes. Two chairs, desk, Dan, Casey."
"That's not true," Dana's disembodied voice reverberated in their ears.
"You're in a weird mood," Casey noted with a smile.
"I'm in a good mood."
"Oh yeah? Why?"
Dan smirked. "Cause I'm in love."
Casey flushed. "Really?"
Dan continued to stare straight into the teleprompter. "I'm in love and the word 'forever' was mentioned, so yes, I'm pretty damn happy right now."
"Sounds serious." Casey's voice cracked.
"It is serious."
"I'm very happy for you."
"You should be." Dan nodded, flipping through his copy one last time.
"Roll VTR, 60 seconds live."
Natalie's voice squeaked into Dan's ear. "Who is she?"
Dan shook his head, suddenly all business. "No one you know."
"Casey, did you know about this?"
Casey grinned. "I don't keep tabs on Danny's love life." He looked over at Dan. It was only a matter of time. No one kept secrets from Natalie if they wanted to live.
"Thirty seconds."
In the control room, Natalie's head was about to explode.
"Dana, did you know about this?"
"Not a clue. Dan's private life is his business."
A chorus of voices filled the control room. "Since when?"
"Since just now." Dana clicked the intercom. "Good show everybody."
*********************************************************************
CSC
10:08 am
With one finger Natalie jabbed him in the chest. "Okay, No-Pants Man, you'd better start talking. Fast."
Natalie's bullet-train approach had forced Dan backward until his legs bumped the rolling office chair. He sat down and stared up at her, preparing for his execution.
Casey sat, bemused, but ostensibly otherwise occupied, sprawled on the sofa with his nose buried in the Sporting News.
Production problems had kept Natalie and Dana at the studio last night long after the anchors went home. One of the nice things about being part of the set dressing, Casey had reminded him, just before they'd climbed into bed.
But this morning Natalie was out for blood.
"Who is she?"
"Who is who?" Dan asked, and Casey cringed. Playing dumb was ill-advised.
"You know 'who', this woman you're in love with. And I couldn't get it out of Dana but I know she knows." She leaned over, soulful eyes pleading with him to understand. "Why wouldn't you tell me Danny, I thought we were friends."
"We are."
Her hand flicked painfully against the side of his head. "Ow!"
"Then why won't you tell me?"
Dan held his hand over the sore spot. "I didn't know one person could be the good cop *and* the bad cop."
Casey chuffed a laugh, and Natalie whirled around. "And you! I know you know, you two tell each other everything."
Casey held the magazine in front of him like a shield. "Natalie, I told Dan to tell you, but he said..."
"Hey!" Dan jumped out of his chair, but Natalie whirled back around on him.
"Fine. Fine. We'll just see what the teleprompter says tonight. If I were you two I'd read it VERY carefully."
Dan looked at Casey. He knew she was just blowing off steam, but he also knew her feelings were hurt. They'd talked about this last night. They'd told one person, and it hadn't been particularly painful, what could one more hurt?
Not that telling Natalie wasn't exponential, but that was just a job hazard.
"Nat, wait."
She stopped at the door. "What, Danny?"
He crossed over to her, took her gently by the arm.
Casey sat up on the couch, laying his magazine aside. "Come back in here. And shut the door."
Natalie crossed her arms in front of her and sat down primly on the sofa near Casey.
"Natalie, you're right. I should have told you and I'm sorry. But there were reasons..." Dan's fingers grasped the air, as though he could pick them off the invisible Reason Tree. "I, we both have high-profile jobs, and it just wasn't, we needed to keep things private for... a while."
The anger on her face melted when she saw the sincerity and regret in Dan's eyes. "Okay, but why can't you tell me who she is now?"
Casey rested his elbows on his knees and was kneading his hands together.
Dan knelt in front of Natalie, glancing over at Casey for moral support. He looked her straight in the eye, his voice calm. "Natalie, did I ever say it was a 'she'?"
Natalie stared up at him, and he waited for it to connect.
"Oh."
"OH!" Natalie jumped up, barely missing a collision with Dan's face. She placed a tiny hand on his cheek. "You're gay?"
Dan's mouth moved as his brain tried to form a coherent answer. "Well, I never was before," he grinned, "I guess I just met the right guy."
Behind Natalie he saw his favorite smile spread across Casey's face.
Natalie nodded, trying to take everything in. "Oh. Okay." She half-laughed and shook her head. "He must be some guy."
Dan swallowed, nodded. "Yeah, he is." Casey waited, knowing this was Dan's show and for the moment he only had a supporting role.
Dan tipped Natalie's chin up, wanting to make sure she was listening. "He's been my best friend for a long time."
"But I thought Casey was your..."
Dan nodded slowly, once as she said it, another time as two and two finally added up in her mind.
She turned slowly to face Casey, still sitting on the couch awaiting his fate. "We're sorry we didn't tell you before, Nat." Casey bit his lip. "We didn't tell anyone. We didn't know who we could trust."
Natalie sat down hard on the couch beside him. He stiffened, expecting a beating with her tiny but lethal hands, but only felt her head flop onto his shoulder.
"I don't know what to say."
Dan smiled. "That may be a first."
Natalie did seem truly speechless for once, and Dan and Casey waited nervously. Dan didn't have quite the faith in Napoleon's plan that Casey did; he wasn't one to wait and see.
Finally Natalie spoke up. "So, you two are what? Dating?"
"We don't really understand the terminology here either," Casey hesitated. "I love him." His breath caught for a moment at the expression on Dan's face, and he made a mental note to say that more often. "We go home together nearly every night, which I think puts us a little past the dating stage. I don't know what else to tell you."
Natalie looked up at Dan. "So this is serious."
Dan nodded. "I like to think so."
Natalie's eyes were wide as she sat up straighter. "Wow." She stood up, running her hands over her forearms as though she were cold. "I think I need some time, to, um, I need some..." and she was out the door.
Dan and Casey stared at each other uncertainly.
Just as Casey opened his mouth to speak, the door blew open and Natalie flew into the office more like the mini-tornado they were accustomed to.
She grabbed Dan and hugged him hard. "Wow, I'm sorry. You just freaked me out there for a second." She kissed him loudly on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you. Thank you for telling me."
Dan's laugh was mostly one of relief. "I'm sorry we didn't..."
Natalie shook her head, and she bent to kiss Casey on the cheek. "I'm glad you're happy, and I'm glad you're happy together. Jeremy and I shouldn't be the only happy couple around here."
Casey graced Dan with a mega-watt smile, and Dan knew it was because she'd called them a couple.
"Speaking of Jeremy, can I tell him?"
"You're asking?" Dan said incredulously.
"Can we stop you?" added Casey.
"I'm sure he'd be happy for you. Please? We won't tell anyone else. Swear."
Dan looked at Casey. "Okay?"
Casey shrugged. "We could take out an ad in the Times while we're at it."
"Look, I know I'm not the most discreet person, but I work in television. I understand what things like this can do to a career, and even if I was being totally selfish, I'm protecting my career too, so, yes, I can actually keep a secret." She left again, but this time she was grinning. "Especially one this good."
*********************************************************
That evening Dan and Casey were rushing back from the diner down the street. Jeremy followed them back into their office and closed the door behind them.
"Hi."
"Jeremy," Casey greeted as he waited for the laptop to warm up.
"Natalie told you?" Dan asked as he flipped through a report on his desk.
"Natalie told me."
"And?" Dan looked up expectantly.
"Well, there's something I need to tell you."
"Okay."
"I considered not telling you, but then I decided that in light of your recent bid for honesty it wouldn't really be fair of me not to tell you."
"Oookay." Dan looked over at Casey, who was already rubbing his face. Jeremy didn't really bring out his patient side.
"What Natalie told me?"
"Yes."
"I already knew."
Casey's mouth gaped open as he stared first at Dan, then at Jeremy. "You too?"
"Who else knew?" Jeremy asked.
"Dana." Casey admitted.
"Dana?"
"Dana."
"And she didn't tell anyone?"
"Anyone meaning Natalie?"
Jeremy nodded.
"No. Amazing, isn't it?"
"Almost superhuman," Jeremy shook his head in disbelief.
"Wait, let's get back to how you knew." Dan pointed a finger in Jeremy's direction.
"Well, there were little signs. But mostly, I saw you one day."
"Jeez, what are we, exhibitionists?" Dan thunked his head down on the desk.
Jeremy smiled. "I was beside you in traffic. We must have left about the same time. Anyway, I started to get your attention and wave, but then you started...you know." And from the blush on Jeremy's face, if they didn't know, they could guess. "So I decided not to."
Casey looked thoughtful. "So you've known this whole time and you didn't say anything?"
Jeremy sat forward in the chair, hands clasped. "That's about the size of it. But see, now you have to return the favor."
"How's that?"
"You can't tell Natalie that I knew."
"Ooh, right." Dan winced, rubbing the still tender spot on his scalp.
"Because if she knew I knew and didn't tell her..."
"Off with your head."
"One of them, yes."
"Of course we won't say anything."
Jeremy stood. "Thanks. And for what it's worth, I think it's great."
"What is?" Casey asked.
Jeremy smiled. "That you two finally figured it out."
*****************
CSC
1:22 pm
Casey looked up from the laptop to see Dan staring out the window. Obviously the show wouldn't be written until the talked about this. He closed the lid with an audible snap, and waited for Dan to turn around. "So."
Dan rocked on the balls of his feet, a gesture that always made Casey smile. "So."
"We tell Isaac together?"
"Sure."
"You know, this wasn't as excruciatingly painful as I was expecting."
"No," Dan agreed.
"It's kind of nice to be able to talk to people, I think."
Dan was staring at Casey as though he were actually something edible. "I don't know, I kind of liked it when it was just you and me against the world."
Casey crossed his arms, "Still is, really."
Dan nodded, hands shoved in his pockets. "Good. I like our odds."
"Me too." Casey raised a finger. "We do have an Achilles Heel though."
Dan nodded. "We're not very good at keeping secrets."
Casey laughed. "No, we're not."
"We shouldn't do that anymore."
"Probably not." Casey stared at the sensual twist of Dan's mouth. "You are so hot."
"Yeah?"
Casey tried to regain his cool. "Yeah. That's the only reason I'm with you."
"Good. If you were just with me for my brains I'd feel cheap." Dan stepped closer to Casey's desk. "I love you."
Casey grinned. "Was that a secret?"
"No," Dan leaned across the desk, "but if you want I could whisper it in your ear."
Casey closed his eyes. God, but Dan could turn him on without even touching him.
"Hey, Danny."
"What?"
"Wanna go shoot some hoops?"
by kmc
SUMMARY: Shameless Dan/Casey slash, but nothing R-rated, couple of swear words.
Feedback is welcome at katemsn@yahoo.com
CSC
1:43 pm
"Casey."
"I'm not talking to you."
CSC
2:26 pm
"Casey."
"Still not talking to you."
CSC
5:57 pm
"Come on, Casey, you're being childish."
Casey's tone was flat and he never looked up. "I am rubber, you are glue, I am still not talking to you."
Dan leaned forward on his elbows, his laughing eyes devious nonetheless. "Well, I remember you saying quite a few words last night. Want me to repeat them?"
"Not especially." The office was silent again, except for the low buzz of a fluorescent light that needed to be replaced.
Dan kicked back in his chair. "It was a game, Casey. A *game*. Not a national election, not an Olympic trial." Dan mindlessly scratched his stomach through his sweatshirt. "Why are you so damn uptight about everything?"
Casey looked over coolly, thought of what those long fingers had..."You cheated."
Dan laughed and shook his head. "I didn't cheat."
God, Dan's lower lip was more expressive than some people's entire vocabulary. He was currently managing repentant and smug simultaneously, and Casey wondered if it was possible to have the equivalent of double-jointed lips. This thought caused images of last night, of many, many nights, to flash in his head like an obscene Powerpoint presentation. Not that he didn't love the words that came out of that mouth, too, just that they sounded much better when they were reverberating against his own chest, that perfect baritone of Dan's broadcast voice swirled with pleading and need and...
Casey tried picturing his mother in her bathrobe, but he could actually smell Dan's cologne from over here and was it too late to find his own office? "You cheated," Casey insisted.
"I..." Dan flipped through his mental thesaurus, looked around, and settled for "*distracted* you."
"Causing me to lose." Casey's eyes closed in what Dan thought of as his Closing Argument Pose.
"Nah, you'd have lost anyway."
"I may have an impressive lack of skill but I do have height on my side, and I would have won," Casey bent back over his work, "if you hadn't distracted me."
"Think what you like, big man." Dan rifled the desk drawer looking for a Pen That Worked in their giant collection of Pens That Didn't. He loved to write, black ink on a legal pad, to feel the impression of the letters on the paper, almost like Braille, to flip pages and see his progress. Typing was a necessary evil, never left a smudge of ink on the heel of your hand. "And why weren't you mad last night?"
Casey shrugged his disappointment. "I guess I was too stunned at your lack of basketball ethics."
Dan snorted. He'd seen many emotions on Casey's face last night, anger wasn't one of them. "Yeah, that or too horny."
"Who's horny?" Natalie asked, poking her head in the doorway.
"Every male on the planet," Dan filled smoothly, grinning at the rising flush on Casey's face.
"Dana wants to know if you'll grace us with your presence for the rundown."
"Right there," Casey called as she flitted out the door.
Just before he opened the door Casey leaned in, one hand on Dan's shoulder, and whispered, "If you undressed me in here we might be a little less obvious."
Dan stood frozen in the doorway, calling to Casey across the newsroom. "Now how do you expect me to concentrate with THAT image in my head?"
**********************************************************
"Dan? Danny?"
Dan reluctantly boarded the seaplane back from Fantasy Island. "Huh? Yeah, sorry, hmm?"
"You okay?" Dana asked.
"You seem *distracted*," Casey commented, and the fake curiosity in his expression was almost laughable, almost kept Dan from wanting to slap it off.
"No, fine. I'm fine, I mean. Just fine."
Isaac flashed a false smile. "Glad to hear you're fine, Daniel. Now maybe we could wrap this up?"
"Okay," Dana chirped as she handed out final assignments to the P.A.s and the room slowly drained of people.
Elliott turned just as he hit the doorway. "Hey, Casey, you and Dan weren't shooting hoops in the park yesterday, were you?"
Casey was still musing over how best to torture Dan for his daydreaming once they got back to the office. "Yeah, why?"
"Friend of mine said he saw you."
Casey did an admirable job of talking over the sound of his pounding heart. Poe had nothing on him. "Just a quick game of 21, nothing serious," he shrugged.
Elliott left. Casey turned his head slowly to see Dan's mouth hanging open just enough to make him look stupid.
"So who won?" asked Jeremy.
"What?" Dan asked, relieved that the power of speech hadn't totally abandoned him.
"Who won?" Jeremy repeated uncertainly.
"Danny did," Casey nodded, mostly recovered, "but he cheated," he added as he stood.
"I...I..."
"Very eloquent, Dan. We've got work to do, come on."
The setting of Dan's latest fantasy was now tense and stagnant, the disco ball (hey, it was his fantasy) replaced by that damn flickering light. Dan sucked in a breath he couldn't quite catch. He intently studied the surface of the desk while Casey sat hunched over on the couch.
Finally Dan couldn't take it anymore. Words were his security blanket, his weapon of choice, maybe now they could help him whip up a little revisionist history.
Because surely Elliott didn't say what he said.
Dan's nervous eyes skittered over to Casey. "Somebody saw."
"I know." Casey's fingers worried over his bottom lip.
"Somebody saw us."
"Yes."
"You and me."
Casey jumped up and crossed the room. "Look, we played for an hour, we have no idea what Elliott's friend saw." He reached a few inches over his head to whack the light, which had begun to blink Morse Code. Probably inciting mutiny in the rest of the light fixtures, Casey thought.
Dan nodded and swallowed convulsively.
"As long as it wasn't right at the end, we're okay." Casey's fist tightened, as though his reasoning was something tangible he could hold on to, could hold out to Dan and make him smile again, laugh like he had this morning.
Dan's face was as drained of color as Casey had ever seen. "But we don't know," he said simply.
Casey returned to the couch, dropping his head in his hands. He wanted to make this better, for both of them, and he had no idea how. He felt every bit as powerless as the day Lisa left him.
Dan read his resignation as anger, naturally, and nearly twisted the life out of a Ticonderoga #2. He never meant to hurt anyone, and yet it seemed he always did. It's all fun and games until someone loses a job. "It was a stupid thing to do, Casey. I'm sorry."
Casey looked up, confused by the sudden contrition in Dan's voice. He immediately realized Dan had read his silence as anger. He had to get better at this sort of thing. Losing Lisa was hard, losing Danny would be unbearable. He knelt beside Dan's chair, appearances be damned. "No, Danny, it wasn't stupid. This isn't your fault. We didn't know anyone was watching."
Casey was too familiar with the self-hatred in his partner's eyes. "It's a goddamn public park, Casey. I should have thought..."
Casey hand dropped to Dan's thigh, a quick squeeze, unmistakably intimate, then it was gone. "Hey, it's okay." Casey quickly weighed his own embarrassment against Dan's guilt. "And if you want to know the truth, I thought it was sexy as hell."
"Yeah?" Dan smiled a little. "I thought you were mad."
"Nah. I'm just a sore loser. You know that about me."
Dan desperately wanted to suck on Casey's lower lip, but had to settle for sucking on his own.
"So what do we do?"
Casey stood decisively. "I say we do nothing."
"Really?"
Casey nodded. "We go charging around making a big deal of this and we'll make it one. Just leave it alone. It'll go away."
"Right," Dan agreed, "he probably didn't see anything anyway."
"Just two guys playing basketball."
"Nothing out of the ordinary."
"Nothing at all."
"Until I ...distracted you."
"You cheated."
"You just said..."
Casey's voice was a stage whisper, the words hissing out of him. "You *kissed* me, Danny! In the middle of a basketball game!"
"And I won."
Casey made a face as though Dan's victory left a bad taste in his mouth. "That breaks some kind of Men's Code somewhere," he sulked and fell back into his own chair.
Dan ambled over, leaned in behind Casey, his voice almost a tactile entity. Casey could swear he felt it crawl over his skin. "I'm pretty sure most of the things you did to me last night break the Men's Code."
"Not to mention laws in some Southern states."
"There you have it."
"What?"
"A way to blame this on Jerry Falwell."
********************************************************
CSC
8:04 pm
"Danny?"
Dan didn't spare a glance from his piece on the Steelers. "Hmm?"
"Maybe we should tell some people."
Now his head swung around almost violently. His fingers clumped unceremoniously on the keyboard, causing him to type 'kasjghdfjn', and Spell-check disapproved. "What?"
Casey raised his hands to ward off the attack he could see coming. "Look, at first I thought the fewer people who knew, the better."
"Preaching to the choir."
"But now I'm thinking it might be nice for both of us, to have other people to ask for help, or at least advice."
Dan raised his eyebrows, considering the advantages. "And run interference?"
"Something like that, yes."
Dan narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. So who's on this Fantasy League Defense of yours?"
"What about Dana?"
Dan picked up the phone. "Do you have to be a doctor to have someone committed?"
"What's wrong with Dana?"
Dan dropped the phone into the cradle. "Remember those 'Loose Lips Sink Ships' posters from World War II? If Dana had been alive then we'd all be goose-stepping through Times Square."
Casey conceded the point. "What about Isaac?"
Dan's brow wrinkled. "I don't know. Maybe. Can I sleep on it?"
Casey didn't meet Dan's eyes. "Sure. Whatever you need."
Dan nodded thoughtfully and tried to go back to his script, but Casey's voice was a predatory growl, creeping across the space between them. "But I wouldn't plan on getting much sleep tonight if I were you."
Dan looked up and grinned. "You thought it was sexy, huh?"
Casey smiled, his tongue jutting to one side.
Danny smirked, "I knew it," and ducked the pencil that flew at his head.
*************************************
Casey's apartment
1:48 am
Casey stared at the ceiling as his breathing slowed and his skin cooled. He couldn't remember a time when he actually made decisions on his own, was able to form an opinion without someone else's input.
Of course his unilateral decision track record wasn't so hot; see the entries for Lisa and Sally.
There was a time when he'd have picked up the phone and called Danny, hoping he wasn't waking him.
But that time was gone. Had been for months now. Almost...wow, almost a year. He'd have to look that up, he knew better than to forget another anniversary.
"So I was thinking."
"Mmmm...bout what?" Dan's voice was as warm and rumpled as the sheets.
"Telling people."
"Aw, Case, you promised."
"You dozed there for a second or two."
"That hardly counts as sleeping on it."
"Come on, Danny."
Dan sat up reluctantly, sheets pulled tightly over his knees. He wiped a hand over his face, a hand that sill held the faint warm scent of Casey's skin. "All right, look, I just think we should consider whether the benefits over the duration would outweigh the costs."
Casey sat up. "Oh my god, I'm dreaming I'm in a budget meeting. Someone pinch me."
Dan obliged with a smirk. "I'm just asking if we shouldn't consider the possible duration of this situation before we decide whether it would behoove us to tell anyone."
Casey blinked. "What situation? You mean with Elliott's friend? I thought we already decided..."
Dan couldn't meet his eyes. "No, I mean *this* situation. Us. You and me."
"You refer to our relationship as a situation?"
"You hate the word 'relationship'."
"Not as much as I'm coming to hate the word 'situation'", Casey spat, stabbing a particularly vicious set of air-quotes onto the word.
"It's just that if this is only a temporary...condition...then I can't see the point in involving other people."
"And its temporary nature would weigh on your judgment?"
"It would affect it, yes."
Even though he could already picture Dan's expression, Casey flipped on the bedside light. "Danny, is this your way of asking me if I'm leaving?"
Dan appeared to be personally verifying the thread count of Casey's sheet. "Your attentions have been known to drift."
"What am I, a child? I'm distracted by shiny things?"
At first Casey thought Dan was getting out of bed, but he just sat on the edge. His voice wrapped low around his shoulders like a cold wind. "You were distracted by Sally."
Casey looked up, pleading with the heavens to give him strength. Dan's back was to him, and his breath caught as he realized there was no part of Dan's body that didn't turn him on. He reached for Dan's shoulder, and when it didn't move he crawled on top of the covers to sit behind his best friend. He let his forehead rest on Dan's shoulder.
"That was a long time ago. And it was a huge mistake."
"Huge?"
"Of enormous proportions."
Dan's laugh was so sharp Casey felt it sting. "Just like Sally."
"Come on, Danny." His hand slid over Dan's shoulder and snaked across his broad chest. Casey moved his chin up to rest on Dan's shoulder. It could still surprise him that such a big man could be so fragile. Dan needed reassurance, and if that was what he needed, then Casey would give it to him. Anything. The rest was just vanity, or so he'd been told.
"If it was just up to me, I'd have told them all by now. How much I love you, how happy you've made me." Casey had a flash of insight into the failure of his marriage. Not only had he never said these things to Lisa, he'd never really felt them for her either. "But this doesn't just involve me, it involves you too. And it could affect both of our careers." He nuzzled Dan's ear, planted soft kisses up and down his neck. "But whether we tell people or not, I'm not going anywhere."
Dan twisted just enough to wrap an arm around Casey's waist. Dropped a feathery light kiss on Casey's pale shoulder. "So this is....?" He traded oxygen for a lungful of the sweaty tang of Casey's skin. "This is good." Dan raised his head. "But you know me, it's just a matter of time before I say something stupid to screw things up."
Casey shook his head. "I won't let you."
Dan's eyes glimmered. "You couldn't stop me on Draft Day, Casey." His hand wound loosely in Casey's. "I jumped off that cliff all by myself."
Casey lightly scratched Dan's back. "You were upset and you wouldn't talk to me. I tried, remember when I followed you into editing? I tried to talk to you, but you wouldn't. Then my ego got in the way." Casey sighed, let his body lean more into his friend. "We could have seen that coming like a train in a tunnel, Danny. We just let it run over us." He shrugged. "Next time we have to be more careful, push each other out of the way." With two fingers in the hollow of his cheek he turned Dan to face him. "And you need to talk to me, or to Abby, whoever. I'm not saying it'll always be easy, but we can't just give up on it. I won't give up on us, Danny, not that easily. Ever."
Danny's breath hitched, "I won't either, Casey. I promise."
Casey smiled, breathing the scent of Dan's hair, rifling his fingers through it as he held him close. "So, if your decision was based on the potential longevity of our relationship, what's the verdict?"
Dan buried his face in Casey's neck, imbibing a saline cocktail of tears and sweat. "Who do we tell first?"
A laugh rumbled from Casey's chest, and he pulled Dan in tighter. Scooting back on the pillows Casey switched off the light as they lay down, comfortably tangled together. Darkness was safer, still, words easier to say.
"Whatever happens, it's me and you, okay?" Casey's head rested on Dan's chest, one arm flung across Dan's body, proprietary but gentle.
Dan rubbed it, dropping kisses into Casey's hair. "Good, because I really can't do it without you."
Casey knew he was serious, but they needed a break in the mood. "Well, you could, but it wouldn't be half as much fun."
Dan's gentle laugh crested in his chest, then the waves smoothed as his breath became heavier and steady, and Casey drifted to sleep on the rhythm of his best friend's heartbeat.
CSC
10:13 am
Casey's blush was already in full bloom and he hadn't even left the office yet. Dan got up and perched on the corner of the desk.
"Sure you don't want me to go with you?" His knuckles grazed Casey's upper arm.
Casey shook his head. "No. I think that would be too much. Too weird for her."
Dan nodded and sat back down on the sofa with the laptop. He tapped his fingers idly on the black casing. "You and Dana have a past."
Casey got up to pace for the tenth time that morning. "True, but she's practically living with Calvin." He stopped in the middle of the room. "What, you don't think she's over me?"
Dan's jaw twitched. "Not what I was thinking."
Casey stared at the side of Dan's face for a second before it sunk in. He pulled a chair over to the sofa, so he could look Dan in the eye.
"Danny, I'm about to go and declare my undying love for you to my neurotic, not-quite-ex-girlfriend of a boss. What more proof do you need," Casey spread his arms wide, "that not only am I over her, but that I am head-over-heels in love with you?"
Dan smiled. "I really want to kiss you right now."
Casey glanced toward the busy bullpen. "Quick one, nobody's looking."
Dan did. "Go talk to Dana," he ordered, then went back to staring at the screen. "Casey," he stopped him before he made it to the door.
"Yeah?"
Dan's voice was low and rumbly and made Casey smile. "I love you too."
Which did nothing to make the blush go away.
******************************************
"Dana?"
"Yeah?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Shoot."
"Privately."
"How privately?"
"Locked door privately."
"Conference room?"
"On another floor."
"That privately, huh?"
Settled two floors down, in a room with real walls, Casey lost all verbal finesse and wished he'd brought some notes. Much easier to talk with a script in front of you. He never was good at play-by-play.
"Casey, I have phone calls to make, so..."she made a rolling motion with her finger.
"You're happy with Calvin, right?"
"Oh, Casey, you're not doing it again, are you? You do this every time I meet someone and..."
Casey held out his arms, mentally cursing his useless communications degree. "No, no! I just....wanted to tell you that...I met someone."
Dana looked suspicious. "You did?"
Casey ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Yes, and I thought you should probably know about it."
"Why? Your personal life is your business."
"Because it's someone from work and that makes it a little bit your business."
"Oh." Dana looked like she was holding back a grin. "You didn't start sleeping with Sally again, did you?" Casey shook his head, chagrined. "Because if I find out you're cheating on Danny I'll castrate you myself."
The chair he was sitting in had leather padding on the arms, which Casey was now attempting to drive his blunt fingernails into. Anything to keep from sliding into the floor. "You...you ...how...but I ...how did you know?"
A smug smile and a shrug were his only answers. "And we pay you to talk," she said in mock amazement. "Is it really important how I know?" She leaned across the table. "Does this mean you're ready to tell people?"
Casey's mouth moved, but no sound made its way out.
Dana finally took pity on him, reaching for his flailing hand. "I left something here one night, came back to get it, and you two were kissing in the doorway to your office."
The temperature of Casey's face could only be measured in Kelvin. He half-laughed, half-groaned.
"I tried to beat it out of there, but I heard you talking a little. It was obvious that this wasn't a one-time fling."
Casey studied Dana's surprisingly serious face. "It was a private moment and I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I wanted to say something, but I thought you two would tell me when you were ready. I must say you've hidden it well. I don't think I would have known if I hadn't known what to look for."
"What do you mean?" he asked in a full-scale panic.
She smiled at him. Casey had always been obtuse about relationships. "You really don't know, do you?"
Casey's blank look answered that. "When you really love somebody, truly care about them, you can't keep that a secret. Not from the people who know you. Your eyes give you away, your body gives you away. You watch them more than normal, try to catch their eye, you stand near them, touch them..." she tilted her head. "I mean, you and Danny have always had that, that connection, but it's different now. More intimate."
Panic settled on Casey's face again, but Dana just held his hand tighter. "Don't worry, like I said, you two have always been like that, and I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't looking for it."
Casey's brow wrinkled. "Who else knows?"
Dana blinked and sat back in her chair. "I haven't told anyone."
"Not even Natalie?"
"Not even Natalie."
"Wow, I'm really impressed."
"You should be, it nearly killed me."
The nervous laugh that finally spilled out of him flooded Dana as well, and as she squeezed his hand tears came to her eyes.
"So was I barking up the wrong tree all that time, or is this the first, um, you know, the first?"
Casey shook his head. "No, this is a first, for both of us." He looked down at the tabletop and it took him a moment to get the right words. "I never thought I would do anything like this, but I love him. And I've," he exhaled loudly, "never felt with anyone what I feel when I'm with him." He choked on ancient tears. "I waited ten years to be happy in my marriage, and by the time I figured out that wasn't going to happen, it was over. I thought that was just the way it was supposed to be for me." His hands dropped into his lap. "And all that time, happiness was waiting for me, so close I could touch it, but I didn't even know what it looked like."
Dana walked around the table to sit next to him. "Oh, honey, you deserve it. You are happy, aren't you?"
A smile, heartbreakingly honest, told her more than his answering nod.
"I'm glad, Casey." She rubbed his back. "What made you decide to tell me now?"
"Initially? Fear," he went on, relating their paranoia over the basketball incident, "but mostly we just thought it would be nice to have someone on our side."
She sniffed, dabbing at her eyes. "I've always been on your side." She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Want me to dig around and find out what Elliott's friend saw?"
Casey's felt absurdly grateful. "Would you?"
"Yeah, of course I will."
They both pushed their chairs back and stepped toward the heavy wooden door.
"So, can I ask one more question?"
"I guess so." Casey's eyes darted toward the escape route, just in case.
"How long?"
"Um, I think it's been ten months now."
"Wow, really? But that's not what I meant. I meant how long do you plan to keep, um, seeing each other?"
"Oh, oh. Funny, we talked about that last night."
"And?"
Casey took a slow breath. He was already in this deep. "Till death do us part may be corny, but it would be the right sentiment."
Dana reached up and wrapped him in a hug. "Oh, Casey." She pulled back, her eyes damp again. "You take good care of him."
"Yes, ma'am." One of her tears must have rubbed off on his cheek, he thought, because he certainly wasn't crying.
**********************************
Dan was about to jump out of his skin by the time Casey returned. He'd checked the inter-office email six times, to see if Dana had already circulated a memo.
Pokerfaced, Casey flopped down on the sofa and stared out the window.
Dan felt like beating his head on the desk. Or Casey's. "Well?"
Casey's gaze remained serenely on the traffic below. "She already knew."
Dan felt his stomach drop right through the floor, his voice a breathless squeak. "What?"
"She already knew."
Dan rolled the chair next to Casey. "What...how...how...what?"
"Funny, that's what I said." He crossed his arms. "She saw us one night."
"Shit. Who has she told?"
"No one."
Dan couldn't comprehend that. "What do you mean, no one? You've got to be kidding."
Casey shook his head, finally turning to look at his partner. "She was really happy for us, Danny. I've never seen her like that." He grinned. "She must really be in love."
Dan rubbed Casey on the shoulder. "I know how she feels." His gaze wandered over Casey's face. "She's a good friend."
Casey nodded quickly, smiling at Dan's hand still on his arm. "The best."
*******************************************************************
That night Dana handled the rundowns as professionally as she usually did, meaning they were mostly business but skidded off on one or two weird tangents.
But at the end of the 10:00, "Dan, Casey, hang back for a minute, okay?"
Nervous foot-tapping and swallowing as the room cleared.
Once the door had closed, she folded her hands on the table in front of her. "Elliott's friend only saw you walking toward the court with a ball, not actually playing."
Dan slumped back in his chair. "Thanks, Dana."
"I can't believe you kissed him in the middle of a basketball game!" Dana's eyes were huge. "That's so, I don't know, un-sportsmanlike."
Dan grinned. "But I won."
Dana shrugged. "That's all that counts."
Casey folded his arms but couldn't quite bring himself to look mad. "No one is on my side."
Dana smiled at him. "You two make a cute couple, you know."
Casey grinned at Dan. "We've created a monster."
Dana stood. "Just let me know if you need anything else. And no more secrets, okay?"
Casey took her hand and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you."
Flustered from all the attention, Dana cleared her throat. "Well, I guess you guys need to change, huh? Casey, you go on, I want to talk to Dan for a minute."
The two men exchanged questioning looks as Casey left the room.
Dana leaned against the end of the conference table. "You make him talk to you, Dan. I know he doesn't like to, but you make him tell you when things are bothering him. He makes things so much bigger than they have to be."
Dan felt like he should be taking notes. "I know."
"And he comes off so self-assured but he's not really, so don't believe..."
Dan smiled. He was way past Casey 101. He was up into graduate level field research at this point. "Dana," he held her elbows lightly, "I know."
She looked up into his face. "Yeah, yeah, I guess you do." She had started crying. "I just want this to last, for him, for both of you." She wrapped Dan in a fierce hug for a small woman. "Take care of him, Danny, he loves you so much."
Dan smiled one more time, kissed the top of her head. "I will."
Dana blotted her eyes, salvaging what was left of her makeup. "He told me he wants this to last forever, but he wanted the same thing for his marriage and..."
"This won't be like that."
"I know," and the smile was back, a certainty with it. Dana smacked him playfully on the arm. "Go get ready."
"Okay." He hesitated at the door. "I love him too, you know."
"I know. Now go on."
************************************************************************
CSC
10:58
"Dan, Casey, two minutes."
"You ever get the idea we're afterthoughts?"
"Huh?" Casey glanced sideways as Dan clipped on his mike.
"I think they just see us as part of the set sometimes. Two chairs, desk, Dan, Casey."
"That's not true," Dana's disembodied voice reverberated in their ears.
"You're in a weird mood," Casey noted with a smile.
"I'm in a good mood."
"Oh yeah? Why?"
Dan smirked. "Cause I'm in love."
Casey flushed. "Really?"
Dan continued to stare straight into the teleprompter. "I'm in love and the word 'forever' was mentioned, so yes, I'm pretty damn happy right now."
"Sounds serious." Casey's voice cracked.
"It is serious."
"I'm very happy for you."
"You should be." Dan nodded, flipping through his copy one last time.
"Roll VTR, 60 seconds live."
Natalie's voice squeaked into Dan's ear. "Who is she?"
Dan shook his head, suddenly all business. "No one you know."
"Casey, did you know about this?"
Casey grinned. "I don't keep tabs on Danny's love life." He looked over at Dan. It was only a matter of time. No one kept secrets from Natalie if they wanted to live.
"Thirty seconds."
In the control room, Natalie's head was about to explode.
"Dana, did you know about this?"
"Not a clue. Dan's private life is his business."
A chorus of voices filled the control room. "Since when?"
"Since just now." Dana clicked the intercom. "Good show everybody."
*********************************************************************
CSC
10:08 am
With one finger Natalie jabbed him in the chest. "Okay, No-Pants Man, you'd better start talking. Fast."
Natalie's bullet-train approach had forced Dan backward until his legs bumped the rolling office chair. He sat down and stared up at her, preparing for his execution.
Casey sat, bemused, but ostensibly otherwise occupied, sprawled on the sofa with his nose buried in the Sporting News.
Production problems had kept Natalie and Dana at the studio last night long after the anchors went home. One of the nice things about being part of the set dressing, Casey had reminded him, just before they'd climbed into bed.
But this morning Natalie was out for blood.
"Who is she?"
"Who is who?" Dan asked, and Casey cringed. Playing dumb was ill-advised.
"You know 'who', this woman you're in love with. And I couldn't get it out of Dana but I know she knows." She leaned over, soulful eyes pleading with him to understand. "Why wouldn't you tell me Danny, I thought we were friends."
"We are."
Her hand flicked painfully against the side of his head. "Ow!"
"Then why won't you tell me?"
Dan held his hand over the sore spot. "I didn't know one person could be the good cop *and* the bad cop."
Casey chuffed a laugh, and Natalie whirled around. "And you! I know you know, you two tell each other everything."
Casey held the magazine in front of him like a shield. "Natalie, I told Dan to tell you, but he said..."
"Hey!" Dan jumped out of his chair, but Natalie whirled back around on him.
"Fine. Fine. We'll just see what the teleprompter says tonight. If I were you two I'd read it VERY carefully."
Dan looked at Casey. He knew she was just blowing off steam, but he also knew her feelings were hurt. They'd talked about this last night. They'd told one person, and it hadn't been particularly painful, what could one more hurt?
Not that telling Natalie wasn't exponential, but that was just a job hazard.
"Nat, wait."
She stopped at the door. "What, Danny?"
He crossed over to her, took her gently by the arm.
Casey sat up on the couch, laying his magazine aside. "Come back in here. And shut the door."
Natalie crossed her arms in front of her and sat down primly on the sofa near Casey.
"Natalie, you're right. I should have told you and I'm sorry. But there were reasons..." Dan's fingers grasped the air, as though he could pick them off the invisible Reason Tree. "I, we both have high-profile jobs, and it just wasn't, we needed to keep things private for... a while."
The anger on her face melted when she saw the sincerity and regret in Dan's eyes. "Okay, but why can't you tell me who she is now?"
Casey rested his elbows on his knees and was kneading his hands together.
Dan knelt in front of Natalie, glancing over at Casey for moral support. He looked her straight in the eye, his voice calm. "Natalie, did I ever say it was a 'she'?"
Natalie stared up at him, and he waited for it to connect.
"Oh."
"OH!" Natalie jumped up, barely missing a collision with Dan's face. She placed a tiny hand on his cheek. "You're gay?"
Dan's mouth moved as his brain tried to form a coherent answer. "Well, I never was before," he grinned, "I guess I just met the right guy."
Behind Natalie he saw his favorite smile spread across Casey's face.
Natalie nodded, trying to take everything in. "Oh. Okay." She half-laughed and shook her head. "He must be some guy."
Dan swallowed, nodded. "Yeah, he is." Casey waited, knowing this was Dan's show and for the moment he only had a supporting role.
Dan tipped Natalie's chin up, wanting to make sure she was listening. "He's been my best friend for a long time."
"But I thought Casey was your..."
Dan nodded slowly, once as she said it, another time as two and two finally added up in her mind.
She turned slowly to face Casey, still sitting on the couch awaiting his fate. "We're sorry we didn't tell you before, Nat." Casey bit his lip. "We didn't tell anyone. We didn't know who we could trust."
Natalie sat down hard on the couch beside him. He stiffened, expecting a beating with her tiny but lethal hands, but only felt her head flop onto his shoulder.
"I don't know what to say."
Dan smiled. "That may be a first."
Natalie did seem truly speechless for once, and Dan and Casey waited nervously. Dan didn't have quite the faith in Napoleon's plan that Casey did; he wasn't one to wait and see.
Finally Natalie spoke up. "So, you two are what? Dating?"
"We don't really understand the terminology here either," Casey hesitated. "I love him." His breath caught for a moment at the expression on Dan's face, and he made a mental note to say that more often. "We go home together nearly every night, which I think puts us a little past the dating stage. I don't know what else to tell you."
Natalie looked up at Dan. "So this is serious."
Dan nodded. "I like to think so."
Natalie's eyes were wide as she sat up straighter. "Wow." She stood up, running her hands over her forearms as though she were cold. "I think I need some time, to, um, I need some..." and she was out the door.
Dan and Casey stared at each other uncertainly.
Just as Casey opened his mouth to speak, the door blew open and Natalie flew into the office more like the mini-tornado they were accustomed to.
She grabbed Dan and hugged him hard. "Wow, I'm sorry. You just freaked me out there for a second." She kissed him loudly on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you. Thank you for telling me."
Dan's laugh was mostly one of relief. "I'm sorry we didn't..."
Natalie shook her head, and she bent to kiss Casey on the cheek. "I'm glad you're happy, and I'm glad you're happy together. Jeremy and I shouldn't be the only happy couple around here."
Casey graced Dan with a mega-watt smile, and Dan knew it was because she'd called them a couple.
"Speaking of Jeremy, can I tell him?"
"You're asking?" Dan said incredulously.
"Can we stop you?" added Casey.
"I'm sure he'd be happy for you. Please? We won't tell anyone else. Swear."
Dan looked at Casey. "Okay?"
Casey shrugged. "We could take out an ad in the Times while we're at it."
"Look, I know I'm not the most discreet person, but I work in television. I understand what things like this can do to a career, and even if I was being totally selfish, I'm protecting my career too, so, yes, I can actually keep a secret." She left again, but this time she was grinning. "Especially one this good."
*********************************************************
That evening Dan and Casey were rushing back from the diner down the street. Jeremy followed them back into their office and closed the door behind them.
"Hi."
"Jeremy," Casey greeted as he waited for the laptop to warm up.
"Natalie told you?" Dan asked as he flipped through a report on his desk.
"Natalie told me."
"And?" Dan looked up expectantly.
"Well, there's something I need to tell you."
"Okay."
"I considered not telling you, but then I decided that in light of your recent bid for honesty it wouldn't really be fair of me not to tell you."
"Oookay." Dan looked over at Casey, who was already rubbing his face. Jeremy didn't really bring out his patient side.
"What Natalie told me?"
"Yes."
"I already knew."
Casey's mouth gaped open as he stared first at Dan, then at Jeremy. "You too?"
"Who else knew?" Jeremy asked.
"Dana." Casey admitted.
"Dana?"
"Dana."
"And she didn't tell anyone?"
"Anyone meaning Natalie?"
Jeremy nodded.
"No. Amazing, isn't it?"
"Almost superhuman," Jeremy shook his head in disbelief.
"Wait, let's get back to how you knew." Dan pointed a finger in Jeremy's direction.
"Well, there were little signs. But mostly, I saw you one day."
"Jeez, what are we, exhibitionists?" Dan thunked his head down on the desk.
Jeremy smiled. "I was beside you in traffic. We must have left about the same time. Anyway, I started to get your attention and wave, but then you started...you know." And from the blush on Jeremy's face, if they didn't know, they could guess. "So I decided not to."
Casey looked thoughtful. "So you've known this whole time and you didn't say anything?"
Jeremy sat forward in the chair, hands clasped. "That's about the size of it. But see, now you have to return the favor."
"How's that?"
"You can't tell Natalie that I knew."
"Ooh, right." Dan winced, rubbing the still tender spot on his scalp.
"Because if she knew I knew and didn't tell her..."
"Off with your head."
"One of them, yes."
"Of course we won't say anything."
Jeremy stood. "Thanks. And for what it's worth, I think it's great."
"What is?" Casey asked.
Jeremy smiled. "That you two finally figured it out."
*****************
CSC
1:22 pm
Casey looked up from the laptop to see Dan staring out the window. Obviously the show wouldn't be written until the talked about this. He closed the lid with an audible snap, and waited for Dan to turn around. "So."
Dan rocked on the balls of his feet, a gesture that always made Casey smile. "So."
"We tell Isaac together?"
"Sure."
"You know, this wasn't as excruciatingly painful as I was expecting."
"No," Dan agreed.
"It's kind of nice to be able to talk to people, I think."
Dan was staring at Casey as though he were actually something edible. "I don't know, I kind of liked it when it was just you and me against the world."
Casey crossed his arms, "Still is, really."
Dan nodded, hands shoved in his pockets. "Good. I like our odds."
"Me too." Casey raised a finger. "We do have an Achilles Heel though."
Dan nodded. "We're not very good at keeping secrets."
Casey laughed. "No, we're not."
"We shouldn't do that anymore."
"Probably not." Casey stared at the sensual twist of Dan's mouth. "You are so hot."
"Yeah?"
Casey tried to regain his cool. "Yeah. That's the only reason I'm with you."
"Good. If you were just with me for my brains I'd feel cheap." Dan stepped closer to Casey's desk. "I love you."
Casey grinned. "Was that a secret?"
"No," Dan leaned across the desk, "but if you want I could whisper it in your ear."
Casey closed his eyes. God, but Dan could turn him on without even touching him.
"Hey, Danny."
"What?"
"Wanna go shoot some hoops?"