Just for a moment
A ficlet focussing on Rikuou's thought after his talk with Watanuki on chapter 6.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from Gohou Drug/Drug & Drop/Legal Drug, which is trademarked by Clamp. Characters are created and owned by Clamp. This fan fiction is for fun purpose only, albeit to ease my frustration a little. I don't take any profit from this.
He can't help it.
"The blood you gave me was very delicious, human child. So I'll answer your question. You have no other choice, but to go into that crimson sea of blood. Whichever path you choose, you will never be able to go back. Nor you can recover what's been lost, but you may lose something precious instead. Then the only thing that will remain…is despair."
For the second time, Rikuou woke up hearing those words again. How ironic, those words were also the last words he heard before he lost consciousness in that weird mansion.
As he wiped out the remaining cold sweat trickling, he glanced to his right side. Kazahaya was still there, crouching to himself. Even in his slumber, his expression showed that he was in still in pain.
It is not like Rikuou didn't have any empathy, but his power was different to Kazahaya. He could not truly comprehend others' pain and emotion, unlike Kazahaya. His power was very particular. It is simple. His power is to break something. That's it. His power didn't help him collecting information about all these side jobs they had, nor about Tsukiko. His power didn't help him stopping Kazahaya from touching that damn creature. His power didn't help him to ease Kazahaya's pain.
Rikuou sensed small continuous movement from his side. Kazahaya was shivering. Rikuou put the blanket a little higher but then he realised that the shivering was not from cold, it was all from whatever agony that resided inside him.
Rikuou pulled Kazahaya closer and circled his arms to that slender body. He buried his face to the light brown soft hair. It smelt like cherry blossom. He onced teased about Kazahaya's rather feminine choice of toiletries. He argued that it was the most inexpensive brand on store and Kakei also gave him additional discount. He couldn't reject such a generous offer from their infamously-sadistic-boss. Rikuou mentally commented that it was near its expiration date and their boss was only looking for another change to tease him about Kazahaya smelt like cherry blossom.
At that time, he could only shrug, but he had to admit now, that it was not a bad scent. Rikuou could still smell the artificial fragrance but he also noticed there was a rather sweet fragrant scent that he assumed was Kazahaya's natural scent.
It was weird sensation. Not a bad one, but in the past he usually only noticed that kind of thing when Tsukiko was the main concern. He guessed living together for more than one year changed him a little, whether he wished for it or not.
The shake had subsided slightly. Rikuou tightened his arms, unconsciously brought them closer.
He should have realised it earlier. He thought that he already had the determination. He thought that he did not have anything to lose, other than Tsukiko. He should already understood if he continued to walk down this path, he had to prepare he would saw blood more than he saw in their room. He might have to shed his own blood. Or worst, he might have to draw blood from other life. The chance was quite high. He had power to break things anyway. Sooner or later he would use it to break person.
.
.
However…
.
.
How if that person was Kakei? Or Saiga?
Did he have the resolve to hurt the same person in his arms right now?
Rikuou could not help but laugh at himself. He was pretty sure he had not chose, yet he felt the despair already.
Why did you disappear in the first place again, Tsukiko?
.
.
.
Suddenly, he felt a gentle touch on his cheek.
"What's wrong…Rikuou?"
Kazahaya caressed Rikuou's cheek. His sight looked clouded but still reflected worry.
Always being the sympathetic one, wasn't he?
"Nothing. How are you feeling?"
"…tired…hurt… where are we?"
"Watanuki's place. Saiga brought us here."
"Saiga…san?"
"Sleep, we can talk later."
Rikuou wasn't sure Kazahaya heard the last part. He had gone down to slumber again. It must have cost him a lot, being possessed by that creature. Rikuou still didn't know that creature's name but he mentally promised to himself not to let Kazahaya carelessly get contact with another mysterious being anymore.
He was careless today and he could not do anything to amend it.
Rikuou sighed. He didn't believe in any god, even though he had enough encounter with strange being since he worked under Kakei. Rather he had grown indifferent with god, or whatever almighty creature.
.
.
.
Nevertheless, just for today, just for today he wished for some peaceful moment.
Some peaceful time for Kazahaya and him to rest, to replenish their energy, and to savour their little serene moment.
Which he afraid would not be long after this.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just …for a moment…