Song Fic: Bring Me To Life
A/N: i just thought that this song fit really well with what Rex is going through. very, very angsty. set before th Disclaimer: don't own DOOL or the Evanescence song Bring Me to Life.
*****
Rex woke up and stretched out. His leg hit a soft body and he remembered that Mimi was "sleeping over" tonight. Smiling to himself he kissed her shoulder, tasting the little bit of salt left from the sweat of their exertions. He couldn't believe what an honor it was to be able to kiss her anytime he wanted to. If he had his way, Rex would take her off to some island where nothing could touch them. Their days would be as blissful as the beginning of their relationship had been. But life would interfere, like it always did.
"Rex Brady! You can't keep the truth from everyone forever. Please, just tell them. They have a right to know. Please, tell them, for me."
Her words from last night came floating back to him, making him ashamed even then.
"God damn it, Mimi! I'm a DiMera!!! Don't you EVER call me a Brady again. You don't understand, you never will." he had shouted.
"Not if you keep shutting me out like this. What's happening to us, Rex? I can't talk to you without it turning into a fight. I miss you."
Her eyes had stared into him, saw him. They had seen the Rex that he kept as pushed down as possible. The little boy that had been locked up and forgotten. He had looked away.
*How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb*
Rex snapped himself back to the present. Mimi saw him, saw right through him. But how long before she began to hate what she saw? He was becoming nothing, a shell of what he had been.
*Without a soul*
She was the only one who made him fell...anything anymore. The only one who made him alive. The only one who made him matter.
*My spirit's sleeping somewhere, cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home*
"Please, Mimi. I can't do this right now. I need to find out what I am. Why I am..."
"Why you are what?"
"Such a failure." he had finished.
Mimi had cupped his cheek, so gentle, and gazed into his eyes.
"Rex, you aren't a failure. You're perfect." She kissed him then, and they had made their way over to the bed for another night of being just enough to hold onto.
Rex got up, careful not to wake her, and put on a bathrobe. The dullness had returned, the feeling that there was nothing in him worth staying alive. The moments of relief from this feeling were few and far between, and only ever happened with Mimi.
*[Wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark *
He went into the bathroom, and splashed his face with cold water. Looking into the mirror, his eyes seemed so hollow. Everything he had known was a lie. He had had everything for a few short months, and then it was ripped from him. He had been betrayed by himself, by his own DNA, forcing him to believe that he was a nothing. His own blood was his greatest enemy.
*[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone*
"You're nothing," He whispered into the dark. "No one could ever love you."
*[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become.*
But Mimi said she loved him. She said it everyday. She said it every night when she was on the verge of sleep. But when they argued, Rex knew that she wished she didn't love him so much. Or she wished that the person she loved could just magically be a blue-collard Brady, full of morals and honesty and the need to work hard and earn what he got. Rex could never be like that, he was too weak.
She would leave him sometime, he knew it. And there was nothing he could do to stop her.
*Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me*
He could scream at her, fight with her, but for the life of him, Rex couldn't make Mimi see. He couldn't make her see that if he were a Brady he would never amount to anything. He would work hard his whole life and die somewhere, only to be forgotten about 5 years later. That's the future that awaited Bo and Hope. That's the future that awaited Jack and Jennifer; Marlena and John; Roman and Kate. That's the future that Belle and Shawn were willingly stepping into. That's the future that Mimi would be content with. But Rex wanted more, needed more. He hadn't spent how many years locked up and forgotten just to choose to live the rest of his life that way. He wanted to be a DiMera, be remembered, important. He wanted to be real.
The more he fought to be a DiMera, however, the smaller he became. One of these days he was just going to disappear, and no one would care except for Mimi. He always felt just a little bigger around her.
*Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.*
His headache pounded him so suddenly he let out a sharp cry. Flashes of Mimi and all of they're arguments danced in front of his eyelids and Rex moaned her name.
*[Wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become*
Mimi awoke with a start, Rex wasn't in bed next to her. Why was it that he always got up before her, but never woke her up to be with him? She sighed as she remembered their last fight, and the way that she had once again let him carry her to bed without talking it out. Evey time she promised herself that she was going to be firm, hold back until they got somewhere, and every time she let her love for him overpower her reasoning. He was her life, but her life was becoming a sham.
*Bring me to life
I've been living a lie...There's nothing inside
Bring me to life*
Back in the bathroom, Rex was lying crumpled up on the floor, just trying to concentrate of breathing. Why could he never feel anything but pain anymore? Sometimes he could feel love. Love for his sister, love for Mimi, love for his "parents." But more often than not, the word love was becoming synonymous with pain. Most of the time though, he felt nothing.
*Frozen inside without your touch
Without you love, darling*
"Mimi," he moaned again as another wave of pain crashed.
*Only you are the life among the dead*
Mimi heard he name being called. It was coming from the bathroom so she went there and opened the door a crack. Rex was lying on the ground, his hands to his head. He looked like a little boy, in pain and crying out for help.
*All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see*
This was the Rex he never allowed anyone to see, the Rex she had fallen in love with. The Brady side of Rex.
*Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me*
But there was another Rex she couldn't forget about. The DiMera in him that was cold, and calculating, and only fighting to get what he wanted. Mimi needed to face the fact that Rex DiMera was not going to go away. That by choosing not to see that side of him, she was only hurting them both.
*I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything*
'You can't help him. Not this time, Meems.' She thought to herself as she turned around.
Rex heard shuffling and turned his head in time to see Mimi turn and start to walk away.
"Mimi?" This time it came out as barely more than a whisper.
She pause, looked back, but then kept walking, and he knew that she had just taken one step closer to leaving him, to not loving him. He looked down at his hands.
"You're nothing," he whispered to himself again.
*Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more*
The door creaked open, causing Rex to jump. There was Mimi, holding a bottle of Advil in her hands. She walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead before getting a glass of water from the sink. With a smile that had a hint of sadness to it, she handed him the glass and two tablets of Advil and sat down next to him.
*Bring me to life*
Mimi sighed as she put her arms around him. He put his head on her shoulder as she smoothed back his hair. Next time they would talk, next time she'd get answers, next time...but this time, she would just be there for him.
*[Wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become*
"Love you, Meems." he said
"I know."
"Need you, Meems." he whispered.
Mimi didn't know what to say, so she just pulled her arms around him tighter.
Rex lifted his head and gave Mimi a kiss.
And for one small second, Rex was alive.
*Bring me to life.*
A/N: i just thought that this song fit really well with what Rex is going through. very, very angsty. set before th Disclaimer: don't own DOOL or the Evanescence song Bring Me to Life.
*****
Rex woke up and stretched out. His leg hit a soft body and he remembered that Mimi was "sleeping over" tonight. Smiling to himself he kissed her shoulder, tasting the little bit of salt left from the sweat of their exertions. He couldn't believe what an honor it was to be able to kiss her anytime he wanted to. If he had his way, Rex would take her off to some island where nothing could touch them. Their days would be as blissful as the beginning of their relationship had been. But life would interfere, like it always did.
"Rex Brady! You can't keep the truth from everyone forever. Please, just tell them. They have a right to know. Please, tell them, for me."
Her words from last night came floating back to him, making him ashamed even then.
"God damn it, Mimi! I'm a DiMera!!! Don't you EVER call me a Brady again. You don't understand, you never will." he had shouted.
"Not if you keep shutting me out like this. What's happening to us, Rex? I can't talk to you without it turning into a fight. I miss you."
Her eyes had stared into him, saw him. They had seen the Rex that he kept as pushed down as possible. The little boy that had been locked up and forgotten. He had looked away.
*How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb*
Rex snapped himself back to the present. Mimi saw him, saw right through him. But how long before she began to hate what she saw? He was becoming nothing, a shell of what he had been.
*Without a soul*
She was the only one who made him fell...anything anymore. The only one who made him alive. The only one who made him matter.
*My spirit's sleeping somewhere, cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home*
"Please, Mimi. I can't do this right now. I need to find out what I am. Why I am..."
"Why you are what?"
"Such a failure." he had finished.
Mimi had cupped his cheek, so gentle, and gazed into his eyes.
"Rex, you aren't a failure. You're perfect." She kissed him then, and they had made their way over to the bed for another night of being just enough to hold onto.
Rex got up, careful not to wake her, and put on a bathrobe. The dullness had returned, the feeling that there was nothing in him worth staying alive. The moments of relief from this feeling were few and far between, and only ever happened with Mimi.
*[Wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark *
He went into the bathroom, and splashed his face with cold water. Looking into the mirror, his eyes seemed so hollow. Everything he had known was a lie. He had had everything for a few short months, and then it was ripped from him. He had been betrayed by himself, by his own DNA, forcing him to believe that he was a nothing. His own blood was his greatest enemy.
*[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone*
"You're nothing," He whispered into the dark. "No one could ever love you."
*[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become.*
But Mimi said she loved him. She said it everyday. She said it every night when she was on the verge of sleep. But when they argued, Rex knew that she wished she didn't love him so much. Or she wished that the person she loved could just magically be a blue-collard Brady, full of morals and honesty and the need to work hard and earn what he got. Rex could never be like that, he was too weak.
She would leave him sometime, he knew it. And there was nothing he could do to stop her.
*Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me*
He could scream at her, fight with her, but for the life of him, Rex couldn't make Mimi see. He couldn't make her see that if he were a Brady he would never amount to anything. He would work hard his whole life and die somewhere, only to be forgotten about 5 years later. That's the future that awaited Bo and Hope. That's the future that awaited Jack and Jennifer; Marlena and John; Roman and Kate. That's the future that Belle and Shawn were willingly stepping into. That's the future that Mimi would be content with. But Rex wanted more, needed more. He hadn't spent how many years locked up and forgotten just to choose to live the rest of his life that way. He wanted to be a DiMera, be remembered, important. He wanted to be real.
The more he fought to be a DiMera, however, the smaller he became. One of these days he was just going to disappear, and no one would care except for Mimi. He always felt just a little bigger around her.
*Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.*
His headache pounded him so suddenly he let out a sharp cry. Flashes of Mimi and all of they're arguments danced in front of his eyelids and Rex moaned her name.
*[Wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become*
Mimi awoke with a start, Rex wasn't in bed next to her. Why was it that he always got up before her, but never woke her up to be with him? She sighed as she remembered their last fight, and the way that she had once again let him carry her to bed without talking it out. Evey time she promised herself that she was going to be firm, hold back until they got somewhere, and every time she let her love for him overpower her reasoning. He was her life, but her life was becoming a sham.
*Bring me to life
I've been living a lie...There's nothing inside
Bring me to life*
Back in the bathroom, Rex was lying crumpled up on the floor, just trying to concentrate of breathing. Why could he never feel anything but pain anymore? Sometimes he could feel love. Love for his sister, love for Mimi, love for his "parents." But more often than not, the word love was becoming synonymous with pain. Most of the time though, he felt nothing.
*Frozen inside without your touch
Without you love, darling*
"Mimi," he moaned again as another wave of pain crashed.
*Only you are the life among the dead*
Mimi heard he name being called. It was coming from the bathroom so she went there and opened the door a crack. Rex was lying on the ground, his hands to his head. He looked like a little boy, in pain and crying out for help.
*All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see*
This was the Rex he never allowed anyone to see, the Rex she had fallen in love with. The Brady side of Rex.
*Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me*
But there was another Rex she couldn't forget about. The DiMera in him that was cold, and calculating, and only fighting to get what he wanted. Mimi needed to face the fact that Rex DiMera was not going to go away. That by choosing not to see that side of him, she was only hurting them both.
*I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything*
'You can't help him. Not this time, Meems.' She thought to herself as she turned around.
Rex heard shuffling and turned his head in time to see Mimi turn and start to walk away.
"Mimi?" This time it came out as barely more than a whisper.
She pause, looked back, but then kept walking, and he knew that she had just taken one step closer to leaving him, to not loving him. He looked down at his hands.
"You're nothing," he whispered to himself again.
*Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more*
The door creaked open, causing Rex to jump. There was Mimi, holding a bottle of Advil in her hands. She walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead before getting a glass of water from the sink. With a smile that had a hint of sadness to it, she handed him the glass and two tablets of Advil and sat down next to him.
*Bring me to life*
Mimi sighed as she put her arms around him. He put his head on her shoulder as she smoothed back his hair. Next time they would talk, next time she'd get answers, next time...but this time, she would just be there for him.
*[Wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become*
"Love you, Meems." he said
"I know."
"Need you, Meems." he whispered.
Mimi didn't know what to say, so she just pulled her arms around him tighter.
Rex lifted his head and gave Mimi a kiss.
And for one small second, Rex was alive.
*Bring me to life.*