Supermarket Flowers
...
Maggie Scully's Residence
Washington DC
Post Home Again (10×04)
...
Hallelujah, you were an angel
In the shape of my mum
When I fell down, you'd be there
Holding me up. Spread your wings as you go
When God take you back, he'll say
Hallelujah , you're home.
...
Scully watched the slightly wilted supermarket flowers on the windowsill as she tossed the remains of her mother's final, and now day old, cup of Earl Grey tea down the sink. She still could not believe her mother was gone. It didn't feel real yet, like the gaping hole inside her was numb from anaesthetic.
She knew that Maggie Scully wasn't as young as she used to be and she knew that her mother wouldn't live forever but she had never expected it to happen this way, so sudden without ever really haven said goodbye, just as her father had gone back in '93.
Only hours ago, she and Mulder had spread her mother's ashes at the peer, it was now the final resting place of both her mother and father. Mulder had stayed with her through the whole ordeal, never leaving her once. She had told him that she wanted to clean out her mother's house alone, he had waited for her in the car outside.
Scully smiled sadly, spotting the photo album that her nephew Matthew had made for his grandmother's eightieth birthday on the table, it's striking blue cover catching her attention. Making her way over to it, she flipped the cover over, looking down at the first photograph, a one of the family taken during the summer about ten years earlier when Bill, Tara and Matthew had come home and she and Mulder were still living together in their unremarkable house.
Maggie Scully stood in the centre, smiling proudly. Only now, in hindsight, could Scully could see the slight regret and sadness glinting behind her mother's seemingly happy face. Maggie had missed her husband. She had missed Charlie and Melissa, her daughter who had been robbed of her life too soon and her son who had become estranged with his family because of it. She had missed William, her grandchild who would never be safe with his real family.
Scully saw that now. She and Mulder had not been the only people deeply affected by William's absence. She understood completely why her mother wished to know what had become of Charlie before she died, she felt guilty and responsible for their distance. Just as Scully did with William.
She remembered the one time in her life where her mother had truly truly been angry with her.
The day she gave up William.
She remembered how her mother had told her that motherhood was hard and you can't give up when things get hard. She had told her that she would regret it forever and that she would always wonder what became of her son.
It now seemed as though Maggie didn't want her daughter making the same mistake with William as she had with Charlie.
But she had and her mother had been right, it had haunted her everyday since even though she had thought it was the right thing to do for her son at the time.
She felt her eyes well up with tears as she thumbed through the pages. Her parent's wedding, picture of herself , her siblings and her parents that had been taken years ago. It contained all of their family's happy moments over the years, leaving out all the hard times that had brought them from one happy snap to the next.
Her father had always told her to be tough and not to cry when she was down. But she couldn't help it, there was a tear everytime that she blinked. Her mother had been one of her biggest sources of support and comfort in her life and would be sorely missed.
She remembered how her mother had hugged her when her guilt over killing a snake overwhelmed her as a child.
She remembered how her mother had shared in her joy when she was accepted into medical school even though her father had told her years later that she had cried when it was time for their youngest daughter to leave home.
Scully remembered how her mother had been there for her in the toughest parts of her life, when she lost Mulder to aliens and then to death, when she battled cancer and when she had given up William to protect him from those who wished him harm.
Whenever she had fallen down over the years, her mother had been there holding her up.
She remembered how her mother had looked up at her with eyes slightly bloodshot at her father's wake from a chair beside the coffin. She remembered how she had told her that a heart that's broken is a heart that's been loved. She had been right. Love was worth the pain You felt when it was over whether it was the love of a parent, a child, and spouse or a sibling.
Maggie Scully had always been an angel in the shape of her mother.
Scully set the photo album aside, heading for her mother's bedroom. When inside, she was hit by the floral smell of her mother's soap pungent in her nostrils.
Folding the nightgown that was left on the comforter, Scully sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing deeply as she looked around. It was though her mother was still there.
If she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, Scully knew she could pretend, if only for a moment, that she was still there.
She could, but she didn't.
The lavender and jasmine scent of the room sent Scully back to the days where she could hug her mother. All through her childhood until now, her mother's hugs had always remain the same. Warm and they somehow had the almost magical abilty to comfort her and set the world somewhat right in an instant.
The last time she had been in here was when she had shown up at her mother's door nearly twelve months earlier and told her that she and Mulder were splitting up, told her that she couldn't continue chasing monsters in the dark with him.
Her mother had simply hugged her and assured her that it would all sort itself out in time. She had told her that if you truly love someone, fate would find a way.
Scully had doubted her then and continued to even when her mother had thrown her a knowing look when Scully had informed her that she and Mulder were returning to The X-Files.
She hoped that her mother would be right, maybe one day she and Mulder may find their way back to one another.
All in their own time.
Smiling sadly, she spotted another photograph on her mother's bedside locker, a picture of her, Melissa, Charlie, Bill and her father at the seaside in the early seventies judging by their swimsuits.
Looking around, Scully realised her mother had always surrounded herself with positive sentiments and happy memories without forgetting the special people who weren't in her life anymore. Melissa. Ahab. Charlie. William.
Maggie Scully had always told her children to love. She had warmly advised them to always love their families, each other, their lives, themselves.
She had always told them that a life lived in love is a life that's been lived. Scully hoped that one day she could see the world as her mother did, because if a person had ever lived their life in love then it had been her mother.
Scully peered down at her wristwatch, she and Mulder should have been back at the office nearly an hour ago. So slipping off the bed, Scully made her way over to the door.
She peered around the kitchen, a sense of finality settling in the pit of her stomach as she looked around. She would never come to visit her mother here again. Hell, she would never see her mother again.
Not in this life.
Walking quietly to front door, she pulled it shut behind her, locking up. She looked down at the small flowerpot beside the door, it's paint peeling off from the harsh winter weather they had been privy too.
Scully smiled sadly as she noticed a small 'Child of Prague' statue peaking up at her from the soil under the stem of a small white flower. Placig the aforementioned statue out in open was an old Irish catholic tradition that you partook in when you were praying for good weather.
Her mother, forever the optimist even in death.
Scully looked up at the sky, noticing how the clouds were gracefully sliding across the sky giving away for the sun to burst through.
During the last ten years or so, Scully felt as though her faith had been tested time and time again but now, she Felt almost sure that her mother was up there somewhere, smiling down from above with Ahab and Melissa.
She wanted to believe her mother was home and wig their departed family members wherever else she may be.
Despite her grief, the thought brought a smile to her face so she made her way quickly down the remaining steps and out the gate towards Mulder's car.
She would never forget her mother but she would get on with her life, it's what Maggie Scully would have wanted.
She knew now that she couldn't repeat the mistakes her mother had made, she and Mulder wouldn't wait until they were on their death beds to find out about William. She knew her mother would have wanted that for them, she wanted that for them herself too.
Maggie Scully was an angel in the shape of her mother and she would never forget it. Even in death she felt her mother's presence, encouraging her to set the remaining amiss pieces of her life back together.
And she would do it too, for her mother, for herself and for Mulder too.
Moments later, she found Mulder standing outside it, leaning against the door of the passenger's side. Seeing him there with her, dressed in a suit with gun at his hip and shouldering her burdens and worries with her, it felt almost like old times.
"You okay, Scully?"
"I'm fine".
And for the first time, she actually meant it.
...
Hallelujah, you were an angel
In the shape of my mum
You got to see the person I have become
Spread your wings as you go,
When God takes you back, he'll say
Hallujah, you're home.
...