You loved her. Everyone loved her, it was just hard not to. She was sweet and caring, she always listened to your problems and would always be willing to give you that cup of coffee you need in the mornings. You loved her, of course you loved her.
You loved her right up to the moment when Santana Lopez walked by you.
It all went downhill from there. You lived in an apartment shared with Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, and Quinn Fabray. Your girlfriend, Sofia Stone, practically lived there too, I mean, she was there most of the time. As if that many people weren't enough, Rachel decided that we needed a new roommate.
You're sure Rachel had planned everything out in a way to make all of you agree. She would tell you all of the reasons why we need a new roommate using so many unnecessary words until your ears are about to fall off and you agree to get a roommate just to avoid hearing any more words coming out of her overused mouth. Then she tells you she'll search for a new roommate now, but really she knew exactly who she wanted to be the new roommate.
Santana fucking Lopez, that's who. She was in the glee club with Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn during high school, so you had never met her before. You went to Dalton's sister school, Crawford Country Day, with Sofia.
The first time you met, you fell in love with her. You didn't mean to, you swear you didn't. It was just one glance, but that's really all it takes. That thought alone had terrified you. It took you months to give your heart to Sofia, but this girl, this fucking gorgeous, sexy, amazing, talented girl, just stole it straight out of your chest in a second.
It really terrified the shit out of you. She was just so gorgeous. You fell in love with her looks first. Then she opened her mouth and you fell in love with her voice. Then she talked some more and you fell in love with her personality too.
Then you fell in love with her in general.
After a good week of her staying there, you started to feel it. The pull, the connection, and it drove you insane.
"I'm telling you, Berry, if you would stop talking you could be attractive, but I don't see that happening any time soo-"
"Please, just shut up!" You snapped at her before you took an angry bite of your cereal. All you heard was silence for a minute, but then you finally looked up at Santana.
Her lips were pursed and she looked back down at her oatmeal and continued to eat it without another word.
You remember wanting to take that back so, so much. You just couldn't bear to hear her talk another second and for you to fall in deeper love with her.
From then on, you were mean to her, hell, you were absolutely horrid to her. Just in the hopes that it would save your relationship. You were spitting insults at her left and right. Commenting on everything she does so critically. Nobody could really understand why you hated her so much, but that was the problem. You didn't hate her. You couldn't hate her even if you tried. You were too in love with her.
One day she finally just… Exploded.
"How do I look?" She asks Quinn, twirling a little in her spot. She wore a dark red, skin tight dress for the club tonight, and it made your ovaries almost explode. (It's not like you needed those anyways) This was about three painful, regretful months into her living with you guys.
"You'll definitely accomplish what you're going for." You rolled your eyes at her.
"And what would that be?" She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.
"Sex, obviously." You shrugged with a small smirk.
"Excuse me?" She asked, obviously offended.
"It's obvious that all you ever want is sex," You said as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Just to rub salt in the wound, you continued, "from any breathing creatures you can get your dirty, disease ridden hands on."
She flinched visibly before, for the first time ever, fighting back, "You know what, Bitchny! You just need to just put a fucking sock in it or get the fuck out because you've been nothing but bitchy to me since we've met. I'm sorry if you feel the need to criticize me and everything I do, but I can't fucking help it. I can't fucking help who I am. I can't fucking help what I look like or what I do, and, worst of all, I can't fucking help that no matter how many times you insult and yell at me, I can't get over this stupid fucking crush."
Everything was silent for a full minute.
You just stared at her with a blank expression. And she stared right back. And Quinn just up and left the room to get away from all of this tension.
She stormed out of the room minutes after Quinn had. You knew she hadn't meant to say all of that. Right then it had all made sense as to why she never fought back like she did to everyone else. You wouldn't admit it, but it made your heart soar. You couldn't stop the shy smile that overtook your face as soon as she left.
She likes you.
That was the only comprehensible thought running through your mind. Then you remembered the past three months and how horrible you've been to her. How she never fought back because she actually returned the feelings that you had for her. You felt sick to your stomach.
That night when everyone in the household had gone out to the club (excluding Sofia, she was at work), something happened. You stayed off the dance floor; you really just wanted to drink away that sick feeling in your stomach. You watched as Santana drank to her heart's content and you did the same.
You don't remember what happened after, but you do remember the next morning quite clearly.
You woke up, smiling contently. You slowly opened your eyes, but you couldn't see anything with the mess of black hair in your face. You let your eyes adjust to it for a second before finally brushing away the hair from your face. You turned a little to say good morning to Sofia, and you choked when you realized it wasn't the normal black hair of Sofia that you're used to waking up with.
"Holy shit, holy fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," You curse, staring wide eyed at Santana who was sleeping contently in your arms.
Sooner or later your cursing seems to wake her up. Her first reaction is to take one look at you and smile before nuzzling her face in your neck. You hear her mumble something about dreams.
"Santana." You say, your voice warning and on edge. You're fully aware that you're both completely naked and her boobs are pressed flush against yours.
"Shhh," She mumbles, "Just. Want. Sleep."
You almost let out a giggle at how adorable she is before shaking your head and reminding yourself of the reality of the situation. "Santana, this is serious." You breathe out.
You feel her tense in your arms. She slowly looks up from your neck with a petrified expression.
"Brittany…" She breathes out slowly, "Am I really naked in your arms right now?" She asks with a bewildered expression.
"Yeah," You breathe out, your eyes unwillingly trail down her body (she's just as beautiful as you imagined her to be) (not that you've ever imagined her or anything like that…). "Did I just cheat on Sofia?" You ask with wide eyes.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry." She apologizes. You sit up, retracting your arms from around Santana to push down the covers so that they pool around your waist and wrap your arms around your stomach. You couldn't care about your nakedness, just the terrible feeling in your stomach. (It's as if the feeling from before had multiplied)
Guilt.
You hate it. You've always hated the feeling more than anything, and here it is again.
"Brittany." Santana sits up with you and puts her hand on your shoulder, "Are you okay?"
"I'm a cheater; I cheated on Sofia." You whimper out.
"Are you really going to tell her about his? I mean, I can keep it to myself if that's what you want. We can pretend this whole thing never happened." Santana offers sweetly as if all of the bitchy behavior in the past meant nothing.
That's when you kiss her. You turn around and you give her a gentle kiss to the lips. Your hand raises her to her cheek as you do so. When you pull away, you don't go very far.
"I'm not in love with her anymore." There was a tremble in your voice as you said it. It was the first time you had that realization and it left you awestruck.
"W-what are you going to do?" You could see hope twinkling in her eyes.
"I have to break up with her. I can't lead her on. It wouldn't be fair." You decide.
"T-then what?" She asks softly. You know she's talking about your relationship with her. Whether it'll be a one night stand that neither of you will ever talk about again or if you'd like to continue it. You think she looks more vulnerable and honest than you've ever seen her.
"I-I don't know. What do you suggest?" You don't have the guts to say it. You know how you feel about her, but you just… Blergh.
She looks up at you with these big, vulnerable eyes as she speaks, "All I know is that I really like you and I don't want this to be a onetime kind of thing, but it really is up to you, Brittany." She tells you. She sweetly rests her head on your shoulder and gives it a light kiss, which nearly makes you die.
You hold her chin with her thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up. You give her a sweet, tender kiss on the lips. It's fleeting, but gives you everything you need to know.
"I hope it won't be just a onetime thing." You tell her. "I like you too much for that." You had to refrain from saying that you love her. It might be a bit too early for that.
She gives you a wide smile and wraps her arms around your waist softly, "I'm glad." It's just above a whisper.
"I'm sorry for being so horrible to you." You apologize sincerely, "It was mean, and it just wasn't right. I was denying my feelings for you, but I was like, really, really, mean to you and I was just being -" She cuts you off with a kiss.
"Now see, this is the adorable, rambling side of you I always wanted to see. The side I always saw you use with other people that I longed for." She tells you softly.
"I'm sorry." You whimper out. The guilt seems to have amplified throughout you. (again)
"I forgive you. Can you just cuddle with me right now?" She retracts her arms from around your waist and falls down to lie down on the bed, her arms spread out beside her.
You try not to spend too long staring at her boobs as you fall down into her. You wrap your arms around her waist and pull her over to where you're facing each other on your sides. You kept one arm draped over her waist and you brought the other up to her cheek.
"Well… That all escalated really quickly." You say with a giggle. She smiles adoringly at you and lets out a chuckle.
You spent the rest of that morning just cuddling and talking (which was difficult since every five seconds you were looking down at her boobs without noticing. You're sure you were really wet by the end of that). When she told you she had to get to work, you called Sofia. You wanted all of this guilt for her to end. You asked her if she could meet you at the apartment as soon as possible.
She was at the apartment in about twenty minutes. By then, you were nervously shifting on the couch in the living room, holding a cup of coffee in your hands. You tied your hair into a loose bun and put on a pair of sweatpants with an old T-Shirt. She gave you a kiss on the cheek before sitting down in front of you.
"What did you want to talk about, honey?" She asked sweetly.
You averted your eyes, "I-I'm not in love with you anymore." You said, cutting straight to the point. You've always been terrible with laying things out easily or holding in thoughts, opinions, and things that make you guilty.
You could see the tears shimmer in her eyes and you already wanted to slap yourself, "W-what?" She stutters out.
"I'm sorry. I just… Don't feel the spark anymore." You told her.
"H-how long have you felt this way?"
"I'm not sure how long," Since Santana walked by, "but I realized it last night."
"Wha-what happened l-last night?" She asked, her tears now trailing down her face. You know you can't lie to her about this.
"I… I cheated on you. I'm sorry, I got drunk and I woke up with somebody in my bed… I just… I'm so, so sorry Sophia."
"You-you cheated on me?" She let out a small sob that echoed through the room, "With who?"
"Santana." You answered quietly.
"Santana? You hate her!" She exclaimed.
You shook your head, "No. That's my problem. I tried to hate her. So, so much but… It just didn't work out." By now you had a few tears falling too.
"I understand." She took in a deep, calming breath. "So this is it for us?"
"Yeah… It is." You replied.
She nodded her head lightly, "We can still be friends though, right? I don't want to lose you completely." You nodded immediately and pulled her in for a tight hug.
And that ended that relationship. It was a good ending. The two of you stayed friends and she didn't show any signs hatred or envy towards Santana. She was her sweet old self, and you started to think that maybe it was never love, love but more of a friendly kind of love the whole time.
Later that week, you and Santana had your first date.
It wasn't the best date. The two of you went to the park for a picnic and it started raining. By raining, I don't mean drizzling, but full on rain. Big, fat drops coming down on you and lightning everywhere. It probably didn't help that you were afraid of storms. Because you both thought it looked like a beautiful day, you had walked three blocks to the park. The way back wasn't too pleasant. You spent most of it cowering into Santana, who had her arm wrapped around you tightly. You ended up inside eating Ramen with Mercedes and Quinn in the living room while watching movies. Rachel had gotten stuck at NYADA.
The two of you just went to sleep after that. (Of course you couldn't stay away from her for too long, because in five minutes, you were slipping into Santana's bed. You told her the thunder was terrifying, but really you just wanted to be close to her.)
After that, you and Santana had gone on a few dates. It only took three more dates before you were telling each other that you loved each other. That was a nerve wracking experience for the both of you. (Well, mainly you) You had held in the phrase for as long as you could until right in the middle of the fourth date when she was goofily making faces at the kid that sat in front of us just so he could stop crying, you said it. It just spilled out involuntarily.
Needless to say, the kid stopped crying and your heart stopped beating.
She stared at you for a full minute with her mouth slightly agape. Then her lips curled into a face-splitting grin and she said those three golden words right back to you.
You don't think you had ever been so happy.
The rest of the night, the two of you made love. In every room in the house. And on every surface. All night.
Rachel was pissed when she found you two cuddling naked on the kitchen counter the next morning, but we won't talk about that right now. Mercedes still refuses to eat on that table.
It wasn't long after that, that the two of you just decided to merge rooms since you spent most of the time in each others' rooms. You ended up convincing her to move into your room, only under the condition that you lessen the amount of stuffed animals that can be seen throughout the room.
By that she meant that she wanted them all taken away so they wouldn't be staring at the two of you while you were having sex. That always freaked her out. Lord Tubbington was hardly ever allowed in your room anymore once she moved in. That was fine by you, but Lord Tubbington practically despised Santana because of it.
Your relationship was more than just sex though, obviously. You loved each other deeply, deeper than either of you have ever loved anyone ever. You were probably the most compatible couple ever. At first, nobody thought you were compatible at all. Quinn, Mercedes, and Rachel had all taken bets at how long the two of you would last. To their confusion, Rachel and Mercedes all ended up giving fifty dollars to Quinn, who had bet that the two of you would be together for over a month. (She claimed that she shipped the two of you from the very start) (Whatever that means)
Everything only escalated from there. Soon you were married with three kids, two girls and one boy (All of which Santana had carried), in a small home in New York. Memories had been made and dreams were lived.
You had decided that so, so much can happen when people walk by.
I hope you enjoyed this installment of One-Shot Thursday, I try to get a new one-shot out every Thursday around the time Glee airs (where I live). It'd be cool of you to review or favorite or follow me on Tumblr. You don't have to though… Have a fabulous life.
~J :3