Longest one shot by far. Please let me know what you think of this, I would really like to know. It's a play on another way that Sakura could have taken, that perhaps without them she would be stronger, but would she be better?
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters used in this story
Being with them was difficult.
In the beginning it hadn't been. Maybe it was because she hadn't even noticed the distance between them. No. That wasn't correct. More like, she saw the distance and simply thought it was meant to be. That it was normal. That, in some way that she had never bothered questioning, it was right.
The oxymoron with the silver hair and hidden smile would understand and not understand, and be there without ever arriving. He was her sensei. He was a stranger. She was never taught and the pitiful part was that she hadn't cared. She would be protected. She would be taken care of. She wouldn't have to worry.
Those Chuunin Exams had shown her the error of her ways. She was terrified. For the first time in a long time she realized what she had gotten herself into. There was no teammate to protect her. No ever present, absentee sensei to save her at the last moment. There was only a little pink girl. And it scared her that this new protector was not strong enough. Not even close.
And there was screaming and scratching and tearing flesh as she dug her teeth into the soft tissue of a Sound nin's arm, and she was no longer a girl or a ninja, but a simple creature throwing away her life to protect her friends, the loves of her life, and somehow trying to survive long enough to keep them safe. Always knowing that she would not. And when a blonde girl and her teammates stood to protect her, Sakura realized that she had been searching for a word in this forest. A very simple word.
Powerless.
The gap between her and her teammates was so plainly obvious after this event that she nearly screamed. She wanted to lay waste to everything that she saw in her rage, and the terrible truth of it was that she couldn't. That she wasn't strong enough to lay waste to anything. She had deluded herself with her weak punches and halfhearted training sessions. With a dark haired boy that she had believed to be a hero, that would later leave in the night like a coward.
Heroes don't run away.
And it made her blood boil that she was being left behind. It made her hate her former teammate, a little bit more every day. How could this villain be better than her? How could a boy so delusional be so exponentially greater than she?
So she trained and she chose to remember every sneer, every glare, every hateful word that had ever been directed at her, and she pretended that it was only for love that she wished to force his return. And not that she wanted to bring him back to prove that she could.
Without noticing she had created a new hero, though. One that she hadn't ever acknowledged as one. A blonde one with a loud voice and an obnoxious smile and a dream so big it could have crushed her beneath it. He was no dark prince. He had no hidden meanings. This was a knight. So light and true and honorable that he could have shamed the sun. And somewhere inside of herself she leaned on this steadfast knight to never leave. The last barrier she had between herself and the crippling reality of a world of death and destruction that she had studied all her life but had never understood.
But barriers can fall, and hers crumbled to dust.
He was to become stronger. He would bring a traitor to redemption. He would save them all.
And she could only watch numbly as he disappeared. It was with his departure that something inside of her split in two. Something that she refused to think of as her heart, as it felt like so much more than that. No failing organ could possibly compare.
The little pink girl turned red.
And her muscles hardened, and her feet became swifter, and her steps became lighter, and her eyes became sharper.
Sakura Haruno became a shinobi.
Years passed her by. And the red could no longer be washed from her hands.
The blood of those she had saved.
The blood of those she had killed.
New friends. New purpose. New life. Always looking forward, for fear that if she dared to glance back she would trip and fall. It was a descent that haunted her dreams, just at the corner of her consciousness. It took the form of a dark eyed prince, and a golden haired knight, and a silver flash that would disappear every time she tried to look just a little bit closer.
She spent her days making new and vibrant memories, ones that washed out the old ones. Made them look faded and worn, ragged around the edges and too blurry to discern.
Her eyes were bright from bloodshed the night that her past flooded through into the present. A mission in Oto territory. One of her rookies had compromised their positions and they had been discovered by the enemy. Sakura had found him later, crumpled haphazardly on the ground, a hole plowed straight through his chest and burns that reminded her all too well that she could have sworn she had heard birds chirping before they had been attacked by Oto-nin on all sides. She could still hear faint fighting in the distance. An Oto shinobi fell to the ground in front of her, bright red hair fanning out from her face and glasses shattered on the ground, an empty husk left behind as her spirit escaped into the night.
"Sasuke!"
It was not just the name, but the voice that tore through her senses and her eyes zeroed in on the end of the dimly lighted corridor. She knew that voice. And now that the Oto-nin with the red hair was no longer shrieking vulgarities at her, she could detect the sounds of fighting that sounded too familiar. It had been years and Sakura had still yet to find two other shinobi who fought as they did.
It was then that the previously pastel colors of her past seeped back to a more saturated state in her consciousness, a blurry image of three men that had left her in a village to be forgotten. To grow older and give up and be so unbearably average.
It was here that she was presented with a choice. Fight or flight. She took her time to think it over. And a half second later was tearing down the hall towards the sound of an obnoxious fight, which felt too familiar for comfort, with grim expectation. Her summons would aid her team in escaping. And if she were to die then it would make no difference. She reminded herself of the rookie that had been murdered, and it irked her that she could put a face to the killer. Their fight had involved her the moment that her chuunin's heart had stopped beating.
The tremor of the ground made her feet move all the quicker. This was what they had left their village for. No revenge or redemption, but for each other. This battle of good and evil, right and wrong, Naruto and Sasuke. A story that would leave an imprint on the world for generations to come. A tale that had never included a fragile spring child left to wither and fade.
The corridor widened out and dispensed her into a cavernous room with two men so incredibly focused on maiming each other that they had not deemed her worthy to acknowledge.
It gave her pause seeing them like this, her eyes sharp and searching. It was a vantage point that she had grown accustomed to in her adolescence, and one that she now took full advantage of when given the opportunity. It was from this place that she first spotted the flaws in their approaches, the misstep that Naruto didn't see quick enough take advantage of, and the slight deceleration of his Rasengan in his fourth step that Sasuke was too focused to notice.
Powerful. Practically invincible. Flawed.
How odd. How inconceivable that she had never noticed it before now.
She strolled onto their battleground. A shadow taking form in the dim lighting of the massive room that she supposes was much smaller before this fight had begun. She is a red scarf and a black uniform and a girl that they do not know.
Sasuke had a bright crimson horizontal slice on his chest that she could plainly see due to the ridiculous nature of his shirt, and Naruto had chakra burns up his arms that would have made her cringe were she not trained as a medic, and hadn't just left a man with his spinal cord completely ripped from his body lying on the ground a few hallways away. The burns did, however, make her quirk an eyebrow at how sloppy the Uchiha must have been to get so close and still not be able to land a solid hit.
This was not a fight that she would normally involve herself with; she would be with her team returning to Konohagakure with a scroll that was almost definitely not worth the loss of a chuunin that didn't know any better. But instead she was here, because in some twisted way the silly quarrel still involved her.
She leaned her head ever so slightly to the right and the rush of air to her left affirmed the kunai that had been aimed for her head. Sasuke trying to stop any interference from an inferior shinobi.
"Teme, this fight is between you and me!"
"Hn. I will destroy these bonds with you. With Kakashi. They mean nothing."
Oh, the banter. If only she hadn't matured past the point of rolling her eyes at the sheer stupidity of the situation. Zip up your pants and put the rulers away, boys.
"Just on principle, I feel as though I should have been mentioned in at least one of those two sentences." She said nonchalantly, shadows across her face shifting and settling to illuminate pink hair and a bored expression.
Recognition.
"Sakura-chan, what are you doing here?!"
"Don't get involved, Sakura."
It amazed her how they did this. Both pausing in their fight to inform their former teammate of what she could or could not do. Some things, she supposed, never change. They spoke to her as though they still knew her, as though they had not left her alone years beforehand and had most likely only thought of her in passing. And yet, both had the gall to stand there as though they weren't trying to kill each other and were attempting to give her instructions. As though this was a regular occurrence. And perhaps, for them, it was.
"One of you killed my teammate." She replied shortly, inclining her head towards the Uchiha who looked as though he was preparing to make his dramatic departure before Naruto could drag him back to Konoha kicking and screaming, "I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess who."
Half step to the right, shunshin to grab hold of the Uchiha's collar, chakra seal on his upper right arm. And it's as though she was never there. Standing perfectly still at the far end of the room closest to the exit.
"What did you do, Sakura."
"You know exactly what I did, Sasuke. That grand escape plan can be postponed for a bit. It's disgusting watching you slither away, and I would like to think that a shinobi of the Leaf would have more honor. Even scum like you."
A pause. A breath. And he is in front of her and Naruto is yelling something in the background.
"Run, Sakura-chan!"
"There is nowhere to go." He spoke slowly, his voice dangerously low in an intimidation method that would have scared most nin and most definitely would have cowed a younger version of herself, but she was not a little girl and all she felt was defiance simmering inside of her, hissing at him, I will never run from you.
Her teammate had been killed by this child. This boy in a man's body, this boy who had once been everything to her and had scurried away like a rat. She was not stronger than him. But she was smarter and if it came down to a fight, not even her logistics could predict the outcome.
Black eyes and the smell of blood and fire.
"Sasuke, get away from her!"
It was like watching a very boring movie. The kind that you had already guessed the ending to. A glint of a katana. The orange flash of a jumpsuit. And a quirked smile that seemed out of place on such a sweet face.
Shift weight, fake left, grab hold of Naruto, and duck. She moved fluidly, even with the extra body that she had taken along for the ride. Flash stepping to put space between her and the Uchiha. This was not her fight to become involved in, and all she had to do was evade. Now why she had taken the blonde idiot with her, she had yet to process.
"Sakura-chan?"
"I won't interfere if you two want to kill each other," She responded, releasing him from her grip, "The seal is payback for Hoshigawa Rei. And for pity's sake, Sasuke, fight like a man. At the very least Naruto has the guts to take the stupid and honorable approach."
She was a ninja and she could understand that tricks and deception were the basis of her livelihood, the tools of her trade, but if there was such thing as lying with honor she liked to think she possessed it. Naruto still didn't seem to grasp the concept that a ninja was to rely on stealth and cover and lies. He was a terrible ninja but, she would admit, a fantastic hero.
And at the moment he was staring at her instead of at his opponent and Sakura felt as though her eyebrow would begin to twitch soon enough if they didn't get to it. She was just evening the playing field. If Sasuke could fight dirty and Naruto wouldn't, then she would take up the slack and play dirty for him.
His voice was too soft and Sakura had the knee jerk reaction to cringe or sigh long-sufferingly. "I'm not going to kill him, Sakura-chan. Oi, bastard, I AIN'T KILLING YOU. See?" He asked, turning back to her and opening his arms out as though that was proof of his sincerity.
Was he trying to… comfort her? Did he think that she was upset over the prospect of the Uchiha dying? It made sense that he would still be in such a mindset as he had not been around to see the terrible things that she had done. And she didn't take her eyes off of Sasuke as she responded, "I don't care what you two do or don't do. He killed my subordinate and was going to run away from a fight. You're both free to murder each other if you so please."
Sasuke was staring at her with depthless eyes and a quirked eyebrow which was more of a reaction than she had ever expected from him, but it was the voice next to her that made her eyes shift to the endless blue of the Kyuubi jinchurikki, "What happened to you, Sakura-chan?"
If she had it in her, she would have laughed, but the weight of her mission pressed on her shoulders and the obligation to resign from this fight and return to her home kept whatever mirthless chuckle that was trying to escape locked in her throat. But her gaze didn't waver from the man in the ridiculous jumpsuit beside her. He was taller than she remembered.
"I have slight abandonment issues that manifest as severe indifference to surreal or stressful situations."
It was only partially funny, and probably only so to her.
"Tch. Annoying."
"Oh give it a rest, Sasuke. No one cares about your opinion." She said, glancing at him, not at all perturbed that he had flash stepped toward them while they had been sharing in her awkward moment of half joke/half-truth.
His katana swept in a smooth arc towards her neck. It annoyed her that she was still here, let alone being dragged into a fight that had never involved her in the first place.
Her body contorted herself beneath the blade as though her bones were as flexible as clay and narrowed her eyes disdainfully at the missing nin.
"What is wrong with you?!" Naruto yelled, eyes bleeding to red and teeth elongating as his chakra spiked dangerously. Sakura marveled at the fact that he hadn't picked up on it. Sasuke had tried to kill her, halfhearted as it may have been, as he most likely doubted that she would be able to dodge in time. Or perhaps he didn't really wish to kill her, but she found that a harder concept to believe. Either way, the aftermath would be enough to anger Naruto to the point of losing control. An infantile plan. But one that seemed to be working nonetheless.
"I already told you. I must sever all bonds with Konoha. I must gain power."
Blah blah blah blah blah. It was like listening to a broken record, straightening herself she raised her eyebrows at his statement, "I thought I didn't count as one. I was here for that unending monologue before and I am almost positive my name wasn't thrown around at any point."
He ignored her and it was just as well. Naruto was about to idiotically attack with no plan, and only raw and unyielding power to aid him. And for him, it would probably be enough. It was always enough, which would have annoyed her if her own apathy weren't so strong.
"Calm yourself, Naruto." She ordered, feeling herself fall into a strange crevice between the mountains of she was and who she had become, and this new role was unappreciative of the lack of response from the former teammate who was currently losing control of himself. How had it ended up this way? She had gotten herself mixed in to a confrontation and now she couldn't seem to excuse herself from this moronic encounter.
"Finally, I am able to see your true power."
Her head swiveled like an owl's to watch the last Uchiha move towards the Kyuubi vessel, a smirk so arrogant settled on his face that it made her sigh exasperatedly, "You should have your own drama, Sasuke. You could just say weird one-liners that absolutely no one would understand. You could have a slutty little harem following you around. Just like old times."
Well that got a reaction. Eyes narrowed and completely focused on her. The adoring fangirl that had loved him so deeply that she had nearly ruined her life to follow after him into the dark. How incredibly shocking it had to be to see her like this, "Watch your mouth, Sakura." The warning was clear in his tone which didn't make any sense considering that she had been a part of that fan club back in the 'old times'.
His comment nearly made her bristle, old habits dying a cold and hard death. It had taken years to destroy the inane sense of pride that had been her weak point for so long, and with every word that came out of Sasuke's mouth it was becoming easier to remember what it felt like to punch someone out of righteous anger, "Or what, Sasuke? You're going to kill me?" She asked, winking at him conspiratorially, mocking him for his previous and failed attempt at ending her to get a reaction out of the blonde jinchurikki, "If you would stop running from your fights maybe you could sever your bonds with-"
"Sasuke!" The roar echoed throughout the cavernous room and made her eyes narrow and her body whip around to glare at Naruto who had just cut her off.
"I. Am. TALKING." She shouted, vaguely annoyed at the interruption; her voice boomed throughout the room so forcefully that the transformed nin across from them actually paused, "And you will sit there and listen."
She needed to meet back with her team. But a small traitorous part of her whispered that she was with her team. Sighing and feeling absolutely ridiculous with the amount of pageantry that was being displayed in this particular encounter, she noted the perfect symmetry of their positions: Naruto and Sasuke, with her standing in between.
"Kill each other. Don't kill each other. I don't care. My mission was not bring either of you two back and I don't plan to try. You are a missing nin with an all consuming goal that will leave you empty. And you will chase after him until the day that you lie cold in the ground. I have things of more import to deal with than your nonsense."
The deathly quiet descended. Not what she had anticipated. An instant rebuttal from Naruto or being brushed off by Sasuke but she only got stares and a hand halfway reached out to her, "Ja ne." And she was gone. Floating away like the whisper of a wind.
It startled her what she felt as she disappeared further into the night to reconvene with the squad that would be returning without one of its members. Two very distinct chakra signatures fanning out from each other and searching. Searching for something or someone. She shook her head and continued forward. Never daring to look back.
"I heard an interesting rumor today, Sakura."
A silver flash out of her peripheral that she didn't bother to look at as she walked into her apartment that she was positive she had locked before she had left. She had anticipated this meeting sooner or later, and still in her blood spattered uniform, he could not wait to ask her, "Really, Kakashi? And what rumor would that be, considering I only just gave my mission report while someone was lurking beneath the window."
He could not fool her with his fake eye crinkles anymore. It had been years since she had lain eyes on him, only catching glimpses of silver hair in a crowd or on a rooftop just passing by. He smiled at her and she was reminded horribly of when she would have trusted this man with her life, would have believed that he would save her above all others. But there would always be two that he would shield before her, and she was well aware of that fact, "How strange that it spread this fast then!" He said amiably, avoiding denying the question which was enough affirmation enough of his guilt, "I heard that you saw Sasuke and Naruto."
She sighed and placed her nin vest over the back of her desk chair and finally turned to look at him. As ageless as ever. Frozen in time beneath a mask that hid everything but what he wished it would. His heart and soul still exposed at the names of the students that had gotten away, "Yes, I did. I'm sure Tsunade will share the mission report with you if you ask."
"I want to hear it from you."
He shifted his weight to lean against the wall, completely at ease in her home, and it made her wonder how many times he had broken in already. Of course she had noticed before, some things being out of place, a pillow slightly off center, or a mug placed in the sink that had previously been on the counter. Momentarily checking up on the only student that had followed his rules, the only student that showed that they cared at all. Sakura shook her head, and looked away from him again, "Why, Kakashi? My firsthand account is written down in a completely comprehensive mission report. I have nothing else to say on the matter."
"What happened, Sakura?"
His hand on her shoulder made her jump. She was tired and worn and she did not like the disadvantage that she was at. With a comrade or not she was far too vulnerable, "I can only assume that you mean tonight, Kakashi. And not what has happened the past three years." She snapped at him as she shrugged off his hand and walked to her desk in search of a pair of gloves that were too soaked in blood to be left to itself overnight.
He watched her apathetically as she continued looking through her vest pockets, "I know I haven't necessarily been around much, but you see-"
Her hum of satisfaction cut him off as she pulled the pair from inside an interior pocket. Nearly black drops of blood fell sluggishly from the areas that had yet to dry, and made soft dripping noises when the liquid hit her floor as she examined them. The pink haired woman's shoulders slumped as the exhaustion settled itself as forcefully as possible into her bones, "It's not either of theirs, Kakashi, so calm yourself. If I wanted them dead I would have at least brought back the bodies. And I don't want your excuses, I stop wishing for them a long time ago. All I want is to wash out these gloves and rest for a little while. So please… just go."
It was like speaking to a concrete wall and Sakura didn't bother continuing to persuade him to leave her apartment. Kakashi Hatake would go when he so wished it, and not a moment sooner.
"I didn't think it was theirs. It could be anyone's." He said over the sound of her tap turning on. She couldn't bring herself to care that he didn't believe her capable of killing the two men that had left her. She felt this too often now. She felt nothing far too often. Just a lukewarm apathy to him and to them.
The red water water slipped through her fingers as she wrung out the gloves that had grabbed hold of a man's spinal cord and dislodged it from its place in his body, "Why would you care if it wasn't them, Kakashi? Why care about a nobody?"
"It could have been yours."
"What?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed, but his chakra signature was gone before the word left her mouth. How fitting. There and gone again, as though he had never been there in the first place. It was a night of familiar things that made her want to feel something again. Anything at all. Even sadness would do. But as she listened to the silence that ensued after his departure all she felt was her ever present indifference.
She did not have tears for them. That well had dried up over an extended period of time in a drought of absence and distrust. But tonight there were storm clouds in the distance. Rumbling with thunder that had been gone so long from her life. It was a rain that she had not realized she was missing before. Not quite there but not yet disappeared.
Being with them had been difficult. More so than she had ever anticipated.
But as she settled herself on the tiles of her kitchen floor staring out into the emptiness of her apartment, she contemplated if being without them was worse.
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