AN: Doubt this would interest too many people, but I thought it amusing XD It's not that long, so not to worry, it shouldn't waste too much of your time :D

Warnings: Erm, implied pairings, of which there is both het and slash. It's up to you whether they're actually real or not. Just like how no one really knows who will end up with who in canon. I like working with Confusion. Sorry if it bugs anyone *offers cookies in advance*

And last but not least, Disclaimer: No own. Such darling boys, but no own.

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Thicker than Water

"Ah…"

The moment the sound left his lips, he felt his face heat so much he wondered if too much blood up there would make his head explode. He hadn't known he could sound like that. It was so wanton, so like the whores he heard some of the nobles talk about he didn't want to imagine what kind of image he was projecting right now.

But the deep throaty chuckle that followed his embarrassing cries worked to mollify him somewhat. It didn't sound mocking or cruel, and it was rare for him to laugh at all, so he hardly minded; treasured the sound, more like. He doubted he'd ever hear it in that tone, weighty and sensual.

"So fucking sensitive…"

He also loved his voice, but the cursing was strange. He never cursed in front of him, though he'd heard him mutter them under his breath around his parents, something to do with bad influences and his first word possibly being 'crap'.

The hand tugging at his erection (warm, smooth, and so perfect) worked him back to distraction. Along with another embarrassing moan.

He whimpered. "No, not there…!"

"No?"

He groaned at the sudden loss of that wonderful friction. What a tease. He never expected this of him either. Sure, he had his moments; moments he'd seen with his parents where he was playful and not serious like he was with the rest of the world, but—

"Please…" He just wanted more.

"Please what?"

"I…need," he shook his head violently. He couldn't expect him to say something like that out loud, could he? That was too much, even for him. "Zero, please…I—"

Kuran Tohru woke up with a jolt. His cheeks flushed, lungs full of air, and body temperature way too high for comfort, he tried to get his breath back, relaxing against the sheets. Edging the covers down a bit for some cool air against his skin, he tried to sit up and flinched at the reminder of his very pressing problem.

"No…"

It'd happened again. Of course it would, he thought tiredly. Things just never went his way. He refused to acknowledge the part of him that actually liked those dreams since it knew they were the closest he would ever get to fulfilling his dirty little fantasies.

Still, the guilt gnawed at him like his mother's scythe, merciless and persistent as it attacked his conscience. Zero was like his uncle. He was like another parental figure to him, someone he admired and respected. How could he have begun to think of him in that light? He just knew he did and not why. Not how or when, it was just there. A most unwelcome attraction he knew wouldn't be appreciated or wanted.

His parents and grandparents were siblings. He shouldn't be bothered, he knew, but he was. He didn't know how it was for his parents, but he couldn't imagine himself having sex with his older brother. Even the thought felt strange and unnatural. So then why Zero?

Well, why not?

Oh shut up.

If it were physical attraction, he would be lusting over half the vampire population. He just wanted to know why he had to go and make things so hard on himself. Did he have to hold a torch for the one person he would never have a chance with? Why couldn't it be some other nobleman or woman? He could snatch them up without an ounce of effort.

But you still hope.

Yeah, yeah he did. It was pathetic, but he couldn't help that. If he could put a stop to idiotic ideas and scenarios that tended to run along the lines of, 'maybe he'll look at me in another decade' or 'maybe if I'd met him first' or, and this was classic, 'we could be so good together if he'd just notice me', he would.

It made him want to barf too, all right? He was turning into a freaking girl over this. He wouldn't be surprised if he woke up one day with breasts and a vagina. He'd still scream bloody murder, but it wouldn't be out of surprise.

Sorry Mom, no offense to the opposite gender or anything. Girls are awesome.

He just hated his uncontrollable libido.

A soft knock interrupted his less than productive thoughts. "Tohru?"

He nearly shrieked. Oh god, that was, "Nii-san?" He coughed. "What is it?"

There was a sigh at the other side of his door. "Tohru, I know how…difficult things can be, but this is the third time…"

His face didn't know whether to let the blood flow to his head or drain it. It ended up going for something in between. He was glad his brother couldn't see through walls. "How… I mean—"

"My room is right next to yours," and he was grateful his brother at least sounded calm and level, whatever his expression might be beyond the door, "it's hard not to notice."

He sighed. "Yeah, sorry."

"I'd lend you a hand, but that's—"

"Nope. Not into having sex with you."

"Thought so. You're a fine pureblood, brother, but sexual relations with you doesn't sit well with me."

"Glad to hear I'm not the only one."

"So who were you having them with?"

He nearly choked. Trust his brother to go for the kill without warning. "Do I have to tell?"

"…I'm giving up precious hours of sleep because of this. I'd at least like to know why you haven't gone and rid yourself of whatever infatuation you are harboring."

He rolled his eyes. Older brothers… Seriously man…

"It's Zero," he muttered.

Damn it, he could feel the disbelief even through the door. "I know, stupid right?"

"…But not exactly improbable." There was a hiss of cloth against wood that indicated his brother had slid down to sit. "Zero is a fine hunter and vampire. He could never outlive one of us, but you've seen how well he fares against Father in a spar." He paused. "That is strength many envy him for and wish to have for themselves. It isn't so 'stupid' to hold admiration or attraction for that."

"But it's not just that," Tohru murmured. "It's how he moves, the way he sounds, when he smiles, the way he cleans a gun—"

"Brother, you might just be a lost cause."

He flushed. "Oh shut up."

There was another sigh. "I don't envy your position and am relieved to have been over it some years ago."

"…What?" Did his brother just say—?

"It only lasted for a few months before I was forced to put a stop to it."

Refraining from just outright gaping, he croaked out, "Forced to?"

"Yes. By Zero himself and our father."

Holy… "You told him?"

He could see his brother giving a shrug. "What else was I to do? I knew my feelings would never come to pass otherwise. I asked for a moment of his time and told him, in no uncertain terms, that I wanted him."

Tohru gulped. "And…?"

"He flat out refused me. Not unkindly." Never that, his tone seemed to say, "but he left no room for misinterpretation. He was quite clear where his feelings lay."

"Where…where do they lie exactly?"

"That, Brother, is something you should find out for yourself." He could definitely feel a smile in that. "It's hardly my place to tell you. That's Zero's story to tell, not mine."

So there was a story. There always was one, wasn't there?

"What about Father? How did he…?"

"He'd suspected my feelings and his timing just happened to coincide along with my decision to confess. He approached me a day later and…" He paused, most likely looking for the right word. "And he more or less warned me not to act on those feelings."

Not surprising. But it was strange of their father to actually say something like that. He knew they knew such feelings could never come to fruition. There was no need for him to waste his efforts in telling them it wasn't a good idea.

Sensing his confusion, his brother went on to add, "Apparently the only purebloods Zero can be entrusted with is our parents."

Wait… "What?"

"Lower your voice, it's offensive on that level." After a muttered apology from Tohru, he continued, "Did you not know?"

It sounded more like, "How did you not know?"

"But… They're, I mean," he groaned. "No." He admitted.

His older brother chuckled. "Father has, and I quote, 'placed Zero on equal footing and under his protection. He is family.' End quote. Father would offer us the world if we so wished, but Zero is an exception." His voice lowered. "He would hand over his precious hunter to no one, not even I."

The implications behind the possessive wording could only mean one thing. "What, that…what about Mother?"

"Need you ask?"

"…" He really didn't, did he? He snorted.

"Yes, exactly," his brother probably gave another nod at that, "And Zero had already made his feelings clear to me the day previous, so I felt there was no use for me in pursuing my feelings. Luckily, it was merely lust and childish infatuation. It faded quickly."

You don't seem as fortunate, went unsaid.

Tohru closed his eyes. "How am I supposed to get over someone not even Father could bring himself to let go of?"

"Fall in love with someone else."

"Easy for you to say," he snapped, irritated at the flippancy his brother was showing. "Is that what you did?"

"No, but I hear occupying yourself with something else is a good distraction."

Yeah, yeah… He flopped over on his back. That was easier said than done, too. He couldn't believe his father had the guts to try and win over Zero either. I bet he went through hell; he silently snickered. The only person who had more than a remote chance at convincing Zero to see them in a romantic setting was their mother. Heck, she was probably the only vampire that could hug and kiss him all she wanted without fear of getting a bullet between the eyes.

Not even their father would dare to be so bold, at least not in public. Who knew how far he'd gotten with courting the hunter. If he was still courting him at all.

He grimaced. It wasn't fair. Father, how am I supposed to compete against you?

There was an annoyed huff at the other side of the door. "You won't have to if you find someone else."

"I said that out loud?"

"Indeed you did." The exasperation was evident.

"But…" Opening and closing his mouth a few times, he finally came out with, "how am I supposed to forget Zero at the drop of a hat?"

"No one demands that of you. It's nearly impossible, barring some questionable methods, and for you, the near improbable is most certainly impossible."

Tohru snorted. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, brother mine."

"Emotions are difficult to decipher, much less control, and though I can't offer you solutions with immediate results, the swiftest way to nipping your desires in the bud before they take over all rationality would be to talk to Zero about them, as much as you seem to dislike it."

"How would humiliating myself in front of the person I love help me?"

"It is easier to move on with a clear rejection to work off of rather than wallowing in self-pity and endless 'what-ifs'."

"…You got that from Mother, didn't you?"

"She is a woman as well as our mother. Emotion is her forte."

Tohru smiled. Trust his brother to make the concept of going to his own mother for love advice sound all logical and concrete.

Maybe I should just talk to Mother about all of this.

"She already knows."

"…" He scratched at his headboard. "I said that out loud again, didn't I?"

His brother didn't bother to dignify that with a response.

"Why didn't she say anything?" Her husband going for the hunter, then her first son, followed by her second… "She must be laughing her ass off at us."

"Could you expect any less?"

"Even you're laughing. Don't think I didn't hear you." He sighed. "She wouldn't understand. She's not in love with him," the only Kuran to have gone blissfully scot-free of miserable hunter-woes.

"…Who said she isn't?"

He gaped. Oh my god. "Are you serious?"

"Most certainly."

Well, wasn't this a night of revelations.

"So you mean to say…all of us are in it for him?"

"Make no mistake, it's just you three. I've long since cleared off the unattainable love boat all of you are prone to suffering in." He paused. "I suspect either Mother or Father are the worst off. They've sailed in it so long they've probably built a royal cruise out of it by now."

Tohru snickered incredulously. Wow…he felt he'd just realized what the line, 'It could always be worse' meant, since as hopeless as he'd felt before this, he at least knew he wasn't as bad off as their parents.

"Is he still awake, do you think?"

"I would assume so. His work hours are flexible, but you know he prefers his human schedule over ours."

It was a long-standing sore point between Zero and his parents. Zero was a hunter. Other hunters he worked with were human, thus he worked on a human schedule. It wasn't a hard concept. But for his parents who wanted to see him more than every few months, it was.

Tohru (and his older brother, cause the guy just knew stuff like that) was probably the only one who knew Zero's stubbornness in refusing to bend his work hours was deliberate.

"Have to give them something to get constipated over."

His parents were rarely upset over anything he could somewhat understand Zero's occasional impish fancies, but he could more than empathize with his parents too, as he also wished to see Zero more often.

He threw the covers back. He couldn't take it any longer. No more of this awful whining. He had to do something. Pulling on his robe, he haphazardly jammed his feet into a pair of slippers and strode out of his room, passing his brother with a nod.

Looking after him, the older pureblood inaudibly murmured, "A love confession in your nighties little brother? I'm sure he'll be impressed."

Well, Tohru mused, a few hours after his grand dramatics, that wasn't so bad. Sure, getting rejected felt shitty, there was no feeling any elation over that, but it definitely could've gone worse.

He'd stormed the guest room, confessed, and like his brother, was graciously declined. At least Zero had deigned to take time off of his precious paperwork and took him seriously rather than laughing it off or ignoring it.

"…I don't feel that way."

Simple words, no thanks or apologies, but his eyes had been gentle and his tone final. There was no arguing against that voice. Zero didn't hate him for his feelings, quietly acknowledged them, and gave a clear answer.

When Tohru had only sighed and accepted, the hunter gave him a relieved nod and went back to his work.

"Is it Father you're in love with?"

Zero's hand paused and his brows creased. He obviously hadn't expected the conversation to continue and was confused by Tohru's choice in question.

"You're not?" He pressed. "Then is it Mother?"

The hunter graced him with a flat stare.

"No then." He nodded to himself. "Are they…are they in love with you?"

The flat look was starting to show some annoyance.

"Oh. Then…" None of them were in love with each other? What the hell, had his brother lied to him? If he was playing another one of his mindfuck games… Damn it, that meant he just fell for it, hook line and sinker!

"Tohru, what are you doing out of bed at this hour?"

Seeing his father's frown, he jumped out of his seat and strolled on out without another word. He never thought to question what the older brunet had been doing out of bed either. In Zero's guest room no less.

.

"So you were messing with me?"

Kuran Asahi shrugged. "I just told you what I knew." Or what he suspected.

"…You think they're in love with each other." Tohru frowned. "I asked Zero about it. He told me they weren't. None of them were. Well, except for Mother and Father loving each other. He looked annoyed I would even ask."

Asahi smirked. "Zero told you?"

His younger brother squirmed. "Ah, not exactly told, per se…"

"Then we'll never know for certain, will we?"

"But he looked it!"

The older pureblood shook his head. His brother was an utter failure when it came to catching onto the subtleties. Of course Zero would be annoyed at being questioned on something so personal. He was an extremely private person.

He'd offer an apology on Tohru's behalf some time later.

"He made you think what you wanted to think." It wasn't all that difficult, considering the hunter just simply didn't care enough to correct people's opinions regarding certain matters, and his ambiguous bouts of silence left plenty of room for misunderstanding and speculation.

He inwardly smiled. Sometimes, straightforward honesty was the only way to go. Asahi wasn't so arrogant he presumed Zero would simply give him answers in the way he wanted. He hadn't tried to probe and poke. He'd laid himself bare and hoped Zero would understand and return the favor.

Aloof as he was, the hunter was sensitive to those he cared about, and knew better than anyone, the act of give and take. Or rather, the act of being offered and being guilt-tripped into offering back.

He didn't like it, but was aware of just how much of an emotional risk Asahi was taking, and with a disproving frown, gave back the trust he was shown with the truth of his own feelings.

"Of which I'll never tell a soul," Asahi whispered, enjoying the confusion on his brother's face.

That's all folks, darlings, and dearies of all kinds :D Thank you for getting this far. Are you confused yet? XD

I was tempted (really, really tempted) to just have Tohru walk in on Zero and Kaname making out, half naked on the couch, giving each other a handjob or something, but I like the whole 'I don't know what the hell's going on' thing, so I left the lovely slashiness out of it. Forgive me.