Finding Peace
Loki sighed from his cell, hearing the thunderstorm raging on outside the palace. Save for that, the cell was quiet and, admittedly, rather lonely. If it hadn't been for the occasional visits from Frigga and Thor, the young god likely would have gone mad.
Thor nodded to the guard standing beside him, dismissing the man. The blonde god sighed, dropping Mjolnir to the ground and walking closer to the glass walls of the cell. His face was neutral, almost cold. "A decision has been reached, brother. They have decided upon your punishment." He said plainly.
"And? Are you going to enlighten me, Thor, or am I going to have to find out the hard way?" Loki asked smoothly, his face void of any emotions and his eyes cold and lifeless, as they had been for years.
The thunderer stared back into Loki's brilliant green eyes, unwavering. "You've known from the beginning, haven't you?" he asked, a sad smile stretching across his lips a bit. "Death, of course."
Loki frowned a bit and gave a soft sigh at that. "I suppose it's for the best. You do know why I let myself fall of the Bifrost years ago, don't you? My death is long overdue." He replied easily to Thor, keeping those dead eyes locked on his brother's blue eyes.
That hit Thor rather hardly, making him swallow a bit of pain, though he had to hide it from his younger brother. He failed, though, and stepped closer to the glass wall so that he could rest a hand against it, tilting his head. "I want you to know that Father, Mother, and I all fought so they would spare your life. The council of the Nine Realms has all agreed that they want you dead, though. Monday, I'll do it myself to prevent any useless pain."
Nodding, Loki sighed softly. "Very well. Though, I must admit, I find it shocking that Odin would fight for my life with you." He replied softly. For some reason, he'd known since the whole fiasco with the Tesseract that his demise would come by the hand of the Thunderer. He'd prepared himself for it enough. With Thor, his death would be quick and painless. He couldn't help but wonder if it would be peaceful and easy, like falling asleep. At least he'd have Thor there to keep him company through it.
"At six in the morning, I'll pick you up, bathe you, and get you ready. You'll be able to choose your own clothes and jewels. The ceremony will take place in the throne room. I….I picked a painless poison to give you. You'll drink it and merely fall asleep." Thor said, realizing that he was trying to reassure his younger brother. "Until then, feel free to ask for anything, be it food, drink, books, or women." He said to him before turning, picking up Mjolnir, and walking away.
The Trickster sighed, relaxing against the wall of his cell. Monday wasn't too far away at all. Until then, he could rest easily with the knowledge that he'd perish painlessly, surrounded by his family as he fell to the Valkyries. He sighed a bit and curled up on the floor before asking a guard to bring him a pillow and a blanket. They brought them, of course, and he wrapped himself in the blanket, sleeping peacefully, knowing this would be what his death would feel like.
Thor, on the other hand, found that he couldn't sleep at all. There were two days left until he'd lose his baby brother. Big brothers were supposed to take care of their younger brothers, not kill them. He'd vowed to himself the day Loki arrived in their home, the day they first met, that he'd do anything to protect that sweet baby in the green blanket.
The next morning, he entered the prison cell with a small pannier. Inside, there were beautiful apples, mead, Loki's favorite book, and a small toy they used to fight over constantly as children. He sat down next to Loki and smiled softly to him. "Do you remember when you said I couldn't get the highest apple for you? I climbed the tree and fell. Mother was so angry with us." He said softly, honestly not knowing what had possessed him to say such a thing.
Loki smiled at the memory. He couldn't help but feel as if he were already at peace. He sighed and picked up the small toy he distinctly remembered wrestling his older brother for when he was but a small boy. "I remember mother telling me that, when I was a toddler, I would follow you around everywhere, practically clinging to you I'd cry when you left my sight." He said softly.
Thor smiled, but felt tears pricking at his eyes when he remembered his raven-haired baby brother toddling around and clinging to his pants, wailing about how he walked too quickly. "I had to pick you up because your legs were so short. We were both so young, and you were heavy to me, making me feel strong and important." He said softly, resting his head on Loki's shoulder. "I promised myself that I'd always be there for you to take care or you. I tried, really I did. I tried and failed. I couldn't see how lonely you became. I couldn't see your distress and I let you drown in your own madness until I was unable to reach you…"
Loki felt his heart breaking at that point, though he knew this was all for the best. He would be glad that everything between him and Thor would be patched up the next day before he passed on. "Thor, if I'm reborn as a boy, as some are, will you keep me safe? Will you protect me from all everything that happened to me in this life?" he asked, using his thumb to wipe away his brother's tears. "Will you let me grow up as pure and happy as I was as a young boy, back in the days when we'd play and laugh from sunup to sundown?"
"Why are you asking, Loki? You know I will, even if you're born again as a little girl, I'll keep you safe. I'll be there for you, and I'll do my best and won't make the same mistakes again, I promise." He replied, letting Loki wipe away his tears. "I still see good in you, Loki. I don't know what happened in your head to change you so dramatically. But, I forgive you." He said and gave Loki one of the beautiful apples.
They stayed that way all day long, talking about their childhood memories and laughing merrily, as if nothing bad would happen the next day. When the guard returned and told them visiting hours had ended, Thor stood and glanced down at Loki. "Never doubt that I love you." He said, using his brother's own words.
Loki smiled up at Thor gently. "Now give us a kiss." He replied, remembering back to the days when the darkness and madness hadn't yet taken toll on him. Back when he'd play small tricks just to mess with his brother, all in good fun. He'd never gotten that kiss, though. He wondered briefly if Thor would laugh it off and smile at him one last time, as he knew the next day would wipe and all joy from his dear brother's face. He wanted to see Thor smile happily at him one last time, so he could commit it to memory.
Loki got the smile he wanted, though Thor didn't laugh. He couldn't laugh anymore and might never do it again. He leaned down and gently pressed a kiss to the corner of Loki's lips. He didn't want to leave his brother alone on his last night alive. He wanted to stay there and hold him close, sleeping with him like they had as children and having nightmares. Nonetheless, he straightened up and looked over at the waiting guard. "I'll be here at six, brother." He said softly before taking his leave. Once again, he didn't sleep at all.
Loki nodded, committing the smile to memory. He liked the way Thor's smile seemed to light up his entire face. He then lay down and curled up on his makeshift bed and waited to fall asleep. It took while and, while he waited, he found himself thinking about all the happy memories he'd made with his brother. He let himself cry himself to sleep as he thought about the sound of the blonde's hearty laugh. He fell asleep to the thought of Thor's grin. The blonde had had a way of grinning so genuinely that anyone who saw it wouldn't have a choice but smiling back, no matter if they were happy or sad. His smile had been so magical and wonderful. If he was reborn as a child, he hoped he'd see that smile everyday of his new life.
As promised, Thor was at Loki's cell at six in the morning. He stepped into the cell and offered a hand to the man, helping him up out of the bed. "Are you ready?" he asked softly as they left the cell together and through the corridors of the golden palace to Loki's chambers. They entered the room and locked the door behind them. In the center was a golden bathtub with warm, soapy water inside. Thor helped Loki to undress and held his hand as he stepped into the tub, sitting down and relaxing in it. He washed Loki's body with gentle and very sweet motions. He then soothed his skin with oils until it was shiny and beautiful. He got the other's perfume and sprayed it into his hair before braiding it. "Have you chosen your clothes?"
Loki nodded, looking over to the bed. "Yes, they're just over there." He replied, pointing to the emerald robes with intricate golden vines embroidered into the soft fabric. He took Thor's hand and moved to leave the tub, drying off and moving over to his bed to dress himself in the robes. He slipped them on and fastened them before spilling on his shoes. ""I'm ready." He said softly when finished.
Thor smiled tenderly and proudly. "You are so beautiful, brother. The most beautiful person of all Asgard, as everyone has always said." He said, chuckling sadly as he cupped his brother's face and kissed his forehead. "Yes, you're ready…" he sighed, and took his hand. Thor himself was adorned in shining ceremonial armor and one would think the two princes were going to be married.
They entered the throne room where the council members all waited. Frigga was there as well, crying softly. In the center of the room was a couch covered in a pure white, silk sheet. Beside the 'bed' on a table was a small vial of black liquid.
Loki held onto Thor's hand as they entered the room. He looked over at Frigga and immediately moved to hug her tightly. "I love you, mother. I've never once questioned that." He said to her gently before kissing here cheeks. "I'll finally be at peace. Isn't this a good thing?" he asked her softly, both reassuring himself and her. He then let her go and moved to sit down on the soft couch that he knew would be his death bed. Thor would give him the vial, he'd drink the liquid, and then fall asleep, and dying there peacefully while surrounded by those he loved. So why was he so frightened?
Thor looked around at the people waiting for Loki's end. How he hated them. Though, deep inside, he knew it was the only solution for his brother. He knelt down by the couch after Loki had laid down on it and stroked his forehead. He didn't honestly care what they thought about the tender gestures anymore. "How do you feel? Are you well?" he asked, placing the vial in Loki's hand. "Just…when you're ready…"
"I'm fine, Thor. I want you to know, I've always loved you, brother." Loki replied gently to Thor before cupping his cheek with his free hand and kissing his lips softly, as he knew he may never be able to do it again, and it had been something he'd wanted to do since he was a teenager. He then took the blonde's hand and opened the vial, moving to drink the liquid inside. Almost immediately, he felt his eyelids growing heavy. He took one last look around the room at his family before letting his eyes slip shut as he fell asleep. This time, though, it was different. After falling asleep, he found that he could see himself lying dead on the couch. He looked around at the crowd around his body. Frigga and Odin were sobbing now. He then looked over at his brother and moved to hug him tightly, though he knew his brother didn't know he was there. After all, he was nothing but a soul now.
"I've always loved you as well, Loki." Thor had muttered before kissing his brother back. It was too late for those confessions now, though. He watched as Loki drank the liquid, his hand tightening around his brother's. He stared at his brother's face as his eyes slipped shut. He pressed a kiss to the other's hand and wrapped his strong arms around Loki's body as it went limp in his arms and a wind passed through the room. "It's okay…. It's going to be okay now, you're not alone." He said softly to him before starting to cry. "You have no idea how much I loved you and how I'll always love you." He whispered to him gently. "Until the next time…"
Loki watched as Thor hugged his body. He then felt a gentle hand on his shoulder as some Valkyries appeared to him, turning him around gently. They smiled to him and pressed a hand to his forehead. Out of the corner of his eye, Loki could see his body practically explode in a burst of warm, white light, filling the room with the light of the sun. Then it was done, and he was gone, back in his body. He opened his eyes, gasping for breath. He looked around at his settings confusedly, finding that his mind was a blank slate now. He couldn't remember what happened, but he figured he'd just taken a small nap. "Brother? Brother, why are you crying?" the small boy asked curiously. "Silly Thor. Warriors don't cry." He giggled before poking his brother's nose and hugging him tightly.