Hello lovely readers! I'm finally back! So I know that it's been a while since I have posted a story (a few months actually whoops) and I would like to apologize for that. But I have actually been working on this story for a while, and I already have a lot of it written, but it's still not even close to being done. And I have a good feeling that this is going to be s super long one. It's definitely a darker toned one, and some of the characters are going to be a little (or a lot) OOC (out of character). So I'm sorry if you don't like that, but I love these dark, dangerous type of fanfictions, so I made one.

I would also like to put out a trigger warning which is in the summery as well, about Drugs, Alcohol (underage drinking, drunkenness ect.) , Physical/mental abuse. So if any of that stuff bothers you then PLEASE DON'T READ. I don't want any of you to feel uncomfortable while reading.

I also have no idea how much I'm going to upload a new chapter, but I'm going to guess like once a week. I would love to post more frequently, but school is a pain n my ass so I don't have all day to write which is very sad.

Anyways, I think I have done enough talking, so let us get into the first chapter!

Addictions

Chapter 1

You always hear stories about people with drug and alcohol problems, and how they always say how much they regret starting. How they say that it ruined their life, and how they wished that they never took that first sip, or that first breathe. How it cost them so much, how it destroyed their life. You always hear the darkness of it. You always hear how it's bad for you, and how it'll hurt you. How once you start, you'll never stop. You slowly become less and less of yourself. How you start to loose yourself in your addicting paradise. All you hear is how bad it is. But I know it's not as bad as people say it is.
People get addicting too things all the time. I mean, some of them are less harmful than others, but they are still addictions. Some people get addicted to books, to tv shows, even celebrities. Some get addicted to how they look, and how others see and think of them. Some even get addicted to people. Some people can get addicted to love. Some people mistake love for addiction. Others get addicted to drugs or alcohol. Even Though these are significantly different from each other, they are all addictions. And they all have the possibility to hurt you. They can all become your weakness. And once you let your guard down, they will drag you down without a warming.

One of the biggest questions regarding addicts is how they started. What caused them to become so addicted to something? Why would they ever do this to themselves, even though they know how bad it is? Why don't they just stop? There isn't only one answer as to why that is. People get addicted to things for various reasons. Some people do it to make them feel better, others do it because it makes them happy, some may have only tried it once and now they can't stop.
For me? I don't know my reason. My whole life I always needed something. Given, my life hasn't been an easy road, but I'm not going to get into that. But I guess I just always needed something to hold onto. I guess it is a sense of control. People need control. Everyone needs to have a sense of control over something. It's the power you have that keeps you going back. It's the feeling you get, the warmth, the love, how good it makes you feel. You know deep down that it's bad, but you know that it's your happiness. And you just want to be happy.

And being able to tell who the addicts are, aren't so easy and it may seem. They aren't always the ones who are high or drunk all the time. They aren't always the ones who sit In the back of the classroom with their face covered in piercings with a hood covering their face. Alright, a lot of them look like this, but not all of them. Some of them are innocent looking school kids who get perfect grades, and are sweet and caring, but they just have a big, dark secret.
People would say that I would have a problem. But I don't. And it won't become a problem. I'll make sure of it. There's nothing bad that'll happen to me. No one will ever know this side of me. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not ashamed for what I have done, or who I am. Because that would mean that I hate myself. And I'm not. What I did, what I have done has made me who I am today. weather that is good or a bad thing, i'll leave that up to you. That's your decision. Feel free to make your own choice.

I've always found it funny, though. Because everyone, all my friends at school, one of my groups of friends, they all know me as a sweet kid, who is innocent and loving. And how mature I am, and how smart and amazing I am. But I have a whole double life that none of them know about. On one side, I have a group of loving friends who I go to school with, and we all have fun together, and we all love each other like a loving family. Everyone watches out for each other l, and we never let anyone get hurt. But the over side is filled with parties and excitement,and my group of friends are more dangerous and unpredictable. It full of things that are seen in movies. It's unimaginable.

I've always wondered which side is really me. Am I the sweet one, or the bad one. Am I the responsible one, or the party animal. Who am I? I can't give up one of my lives, I love both too much to let them go. But how am I supposed to know who I really am? Maybe you can tell me. Maybe you can figure it out.

Neither of my groups of friends really knows about the other. It's either that they would never think that that would be something that I do, or that they just don't care enough to know. Either way, it's a good thing that they don't know. And it's not hard keeping it from them, it's actually a lot easier than one may think. As long as my two world don't collide, I'm good. Everything will always be fine.

But that's what everyone says.

That's what I always thought. I never thought that anything like would have happened, would have ever happened. But it did. My addiction started for me to have control. But when did it start to take control of me?When did everything become so bad?

I was so naive to think that it would have started food forever. Because good things never last. No matter how much you want them to. No matter how much you need them to. They leave. They shatter. You break.

I guess a good life was never meant for me. I guess I was never suppose to have happiness, joy, passion, love. I don't know what I did to deserve all this, but I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry. I didn't want this to happen. I tried all I could to prevent it. I didn't mean it. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to get this bad.

Now, you're probably wondering who I am and how I came to live like this. You'll get to know more about me later on. But let's start with who I am.

I am Lucy Heartfilia, and this is my addiction.

The end

That is the end for the first chapter! As you can tell, this doesn't have much of the plot yet, but I thought it was a really cool way to start the story. I hope it good so far, because I'm not used to writing these types of stories, but I thought that it would be fun to try something new.

If you liked it, don't forget to leave a review, and I will see you all in the next chapter:)