That's a lot of love
My first Torchwood One-shot, so please be nice
Disclaimer- I don't own Torchwood the BBC does. If I did Ianto would still be alive.
Summary- The Doctor has a confession but it's not what Ianto wanted to hear.
One-shot, please review Jack/Ianto one sided Doctor/Jack Romance/Hurt/comfort
Ianto was in a good mood to put it simply and that doesn't happen often in this job. He had that small smile on his face the one that always appears when thinking about Jack.
Jack...
The one that's always taking him out on dates. The one who tries to show how much he appreciates Ianto all in one night. The one who loves him. He starts to laugh and shakes his head; he'll never get tired of hearing Jack say that.
Ianto carries on arranging and sorting through various artifacts, humming to himself. He hears foot steps approaching; he swivels round and comes face to face with the Doctor. Which is not surprising the doctors been at the hub for a couple of days trying to figure out what this mystery object is that he found on his travels. Still it doesn't explain why he's down here.
Ianto interrupted the Doctor's thoughts "Doctor? You okay?"
"Oh yeah...Sorry...erm" the Doctors twiddling his thumbs now "I've just got something to say to you" he's looking any where but Ianto
Ianto raises an eyebrow "Yeah go on"
"I'm asking Jack to go travelling with me" it all came out in such a rush and all Ianto could do was stand there in shock. He couldn't believe it oh god he doesn't know what to do, weather to laugh because obviously this is some kind of joke or cry because if the Doctor did ask, he knew, he just knows that Jack would go in a heartbeat. But would he really leave me?
While so many emotions were passing through them both and the silence in the room could be cut with a knife, neither one of them heard the footsteps which belong to Jack silently approaching.
"Let me guess this straight you want Jack to come travelling with you, just swan off with you. You do realise he's got responsibilities here right?" Ianto puts bluntly and I thought today was a good day.
"I know but..."
"But nothing" rages Ianto "all you have done to Jack all you have given him is so much pain calling him an "impossible thing". You know that really upset him calling him that, saying that is just the equivalent to calling him a freak!" and from them words Ianto snapped he pushed the Doctor up against the filing cabinets.
"I'm sorry" the doctor muttered. Ianto laughs humorlessly and stabs a finger into the Doctors chest
"You're the one who abandoned him! So don't even think of apologising to me its Jack you should be apologising to"
Jack stands back and hides in the shadows he's never seen Ianto like this before how could the Doctor just drop something like this, he should have gone to him first. Jack was about to step out and approach the two when he hears three words that utterly shock him and from the looks of it shocks Ianto as well.
"I love him" and from that little sentence the Doctor just made Ianto feel like his whole world being ripped apart from being angry one minute to heartbroken the next he couldn't take it.
It couldn't be true he takes a breath "you love him?"
"Yes! Yes I love him I didn't realise it until now but...but I do" the Doctor mutters out and he can't bring himself to look across the room at the broken man because he knows he's the cause.
Jack hears Ianto clear his throat to get rid of the lump, he sighs and looks over at Ianto he looks heartbroken and all he wants to do is run to him and take his lover in his arms and whisper that everything's going to be all right because he's the one for Jack the man that always keeps him grounded. He then looks over at the Doctor and all Jack can feel is anger towards him how could he do this? Everything was just fine the way it was.
The silence is then broken by a weak voice "What changed? What made you realise?"
The Doctor sighs and drops his head looking at the floor "The way he acts around Gwen and the new employees...especially the way he acts around you like your the only person in the world" Ianto looks away and tears start to leak from his eyes "I want that for me, Jacks changed so much and I like the new him...love the new him" the last words were delivered in a whisper that Jack almost missed. Jack knows he's changed he's changed because of Ianto he's the one that makes him a better person.
From what the Doctors just said Ianto's head shoots up eyes blazing but tears rolling down his face
"And you just think he's going to gallivant off with you and leave all of us...leave me?"
"I'm sorry Ianto for..."
"Don't" Ianto cuts in "Don't apologise for falling in love with him, Jacks and easy person to fall for" and all he can manage was to give the Doctor a pained smile.
All Jack can see now is a broken Welshman and right now all he can feel is his own heart breaking for the one he loves. He leans his head against the wall and closes his eyes and regretfully carries on listening. There's a long silence and the next words made a sob rip through Jack's body and tears fill his eyes.
"I...I just love him so much" Ianto stutters out but he carries on because he wants the Doctor to know how much he loves and feels for Jack. "And he loves me I know he loves me, he tells me everyday and I never get tired of hearing it" he chuckles thinking about all those soppy moments they have. Ianto then turns his watery eyes to the doctors "But I know he loves you more"
Jacks eyes shoot open and right now all he wants to do is run into that room take Ianto in his arms and shout to the world it's not true, how can I go with the Doctor when I'm so unbelievably in love with you?.
Each word Ianto speaks cuts Jack to the core.
"I want him to be happy. He deserves happiness with all the stuff he's been through"
Jack sighs always thinking about him never himself! He really doesn't deserve him; Ianto needs someone way better than me.
Ianto turns his back to the doctor "If going away with you makes him happy then I'm not going to get in his way" he hates it hates to give up so easily and not fight, but Jacks happiness is all what matters in the end.
Then suddenly Ianto feels the Doctors warm hand pressed against his shoulder blade. He shrugs it off and moves away. The Doctor stays rooted on the spot his eyes full of shame and boring into the back of Ianto's head. Ianto chooses to ignore. Right now all the Doctor can think is how he is going to make this situation better? Because this entire time he's been down here he's made the situation worse. "Yeah" he sighs it's not going to get better. "I don't know what to do to make this situation better" the Doctor flinches at Ianto's intense, heated gaze once he turns around and he can't help but look away. Coward you caused this.
Ianto laughs not in a pleasant way, the never ending tears continuously falling down his face "you can't" he grits out and once again he turns his back on the Doctor so he can't see the rage in his eyes replaced with heartbreak and sorrow. "Just go...please I'm sure Jacks up there. Go talk to him" he takes a deep breath "and once you've done what needs to be done and said, send him down here I just want to say one last goodbye"
There's a long pause and for a minute Ianto thinks the Doctors changed his mind. If only that were true, that's when he hears the Doctors foot steps disappearing going towards the main part of the Hub towards Jack. Taking Jack away from him forever and what is he to do? His legs weaken from the sobs racking his body and he slides down the wall until he hits the floor, putting his head on his knees. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him" he cries out.
Eventually Jack sees the Doctor walking away towards the hub obviously searching for him. He steps out of the shadows and walks into the room and that's when he sees Ianto fall to the floor "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him" filters his ears. All of a sudden Jack is angry he wants to punch and throw things at someone preferably the Doctor! How could he do this to Ianto the sweet, innocent amazing Ianto his lover the one he loves so much.
Slowly Jack walks into the room "Hey..." Time to make thinks right. Ianto shoots up off the floor and wipes his tear stained face, eventually he talks only supplying Jack with a weak smile "Hey...Erm have you seen the Doctor?" he can't help it but he's looking anywhere but Jack.
"Yep" not an entire lie. Then he caves once he sees Ianto's head go down, shoulders slump and tears falling to the ground. "Ianto...look at me" Jack says softly Ianto doesn't respond. He knows what's coming Jacks going to break up with him; he can't do nothing about it.
"Yan...look at me please" he's begging now. In the space of two minutes there was no movement Jack opened his mouth about to repeat himself, when eventually Ianto looks up and when he looks at Jack, Jack swears he's going to kill the Doctor for what he's done. He carries on looking into Ianto's eyes slowly approaching him. All that can be heard in the dusty little room is Ianto's sniffles.
Jack comes to a stop "I love you so much" a sob escapes from Ianto's mouth and Jack gathers him up in his arms and hugs him tightly, never ever is he letting go.
"I love you too Jack" he buries his head into the crook of Jacks neck and right at that moment he's happy forgetting about all the bad that has happened today. Until reality kicks in and he pulls away but before he can Jack drags him across the room to sit on his lap on the office chair.
"Jaacckk" protested Ianto "I'm a bit too old to be sitting in your lap" at that moment Jack could have easily made an innuendo but there's a time and please for that right now he needs to sort out this mess. He resorts to laughing and whispers "you're never too old" the room goes deathly silent.
Almost instantly the silence is broken "you know what I love about you Ianto?" "What?" came the silent reply.
"Do you want the big think I love about you first or the little..." before Jack could continue Ianto muttered something into his neck. "Jack where is this going..." Jack sighed and monovered Ianto's body so he was looking into his eyes. God he has such beautiful eyes.
"I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and how I unbelievably Love you" he's serious Ianto can tell he's serious and now he knows where this conversation is going and he can't handle it.
Jack was about to say something when Ianto shoots of his lap and moves away from him."Yan?" now Jack is confused
"Don't Jack. I know what you're going to say like you said you've seen the Doctor recently" Ianto begins and now he can't stop he wants to get it all out into the open and now's his chance "Look I know you've come down here to break up with me" Jack was about to interrupt but Ianto silenced him with his hand "but I don't want to let you go...you're everything to me you make me happy and I want you to stay with me for the rest of my life. Selfish I Know but I can't help it" he curses because once again he's crying. Again his voice weakens with every word he says. " Obviously the Doctors told you everything" Jack looks down "But If you go travelling with him or loving him makes you happy then so be it because at the end of the day I want you to be happy" and with that last sentence coming out as a whimper Ianto walks quickly towards the door.
Each word Ianto spoke Jack felt his whole world collapse and eventually tears started to fall down his face. He looks up and watches Ianto hurry towards the door. Not letting him get away this time this situation needs sorting now.
Jacks quickly stands up from the chair; so quick that he has a dizzy spell, but nothings stopping him he runs to Ianto and wraps his arms around his waist and pulls Ianto's back flush to his chest.
"Jack don't make it harder than it already is...please" he hasn't got the energy to fight anymore, he's given up. Jack spins him around and pushes him up against the desk and grabs his arms. That's when Ianto gets a shock he looks up into Jack's eyes and all he can see is tears filling up those eyes that he's come to love.
"Why are you crying?" how much I hate it when he cries I can't bare it. Ianto wipes Jacks tears away with the pad of his thump.
"Because of you... You Ianto, You make me want to cry. You make me want to cry because I am so in love you that one day I will lose you and I can't bear that I hate thinking about it. You are the best think that's happened to me" his voice cracks but he soldiers on "and I hate that you got under my skin from the start but then again I loved that you did because I love what we have." Jack whimpered. "I heard you" Ianto's head snaps up looking confused "I heard you and the Doctor talking all that time I was there right from the start" Jack has actually got the decency to look guilty.
Ianto's head drops, Jacks fingers end up under his chin to lift his head back up "I'm not going with the Doctor Ianto...I'm not going with anyone because you're here and while your still here I'm staying. You are stuck with me" there's pounding in Ianto's ears he can feel the blood rushing through his body and his heart beating double time. He knows why because Jack is telling the truth he can tell he's telling the truth. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and then a little giggle erupted from him. Oh yeah he's happy.
"There we are, oh I've missed that laugh" Jack laughs he just stands there and stares and his lover searching his face and he then realises something. Something what he hasn't said in a while "You are so beautiful" he murmurs and moves a piece of hair out of Ianto's eyes and that's when he sees it the blush "hey don't go shy on me now" Jack chuckles.
"Men aren't beautiful Jack" Ianto says bluntly with the hint of smirk, his eyes still red from all the crying he's done but now the old Ianto is coming back no more tears.
"Fine then" Jack pouted "you're sexy, gorgeous, oh and hot!" Ianto hugs him and Jacks more than happy to return it.
"That's better" Ianto murmurs and both of them can't help but smile because now they know that everything that's happened today is all worked out.
The silence is interrupted "later I'll have a word with the Doctor and set things straight" Ianto's eyes flash "Don't look so worried Yan...you are the one for me never forget that".
"I love you Jack" it was barely a whisper but Jack caught it. Once again they hugged each other tightly never letting go.
"You make me so Happy Ianto" jack sighs contently "I love you so much"
For now reality can wait.