Disclaimer: If I owned the Avengers I would be an old woman,rich and famous,and since I'm clearly not any of those,I OWN NOTHING!
Update: Due to popular demand (well,more like 5 people but that's popular to me lol!) there WILL be a sequel to this story. When it's coming out I don't know because I currently have a bad case of writer's block,but I promise it'll turn up eventually.
Bruce was really regretting agreeing to this.
It started last week,when he and Tony were working in one of the many labs located in the tower. Bruce was running tests on his blood,again,when Tony interrupted his thoughts.
"You know," he started,stroking his beard, "it's been awhile since we've seen the rest of the team."
That was true. After the Chitari attack,the Avengers had all gone their separate ways. Tony had kept his offer of allowing Bruce to stay with him,even after seeing what the "Other Guy" had done to both the Helicarrier and New York,for which Bruce was eternally grateful. Thor had taken both Loki and the Tesseract back to Asguard,and no one had heard from him since. Steve had driven off into the sunset on his motorcycle to explore the "new world",sending letters and postcards to keep in touch as he still hadn't figured out how to use a cell phone. Clint and Natasha had already been offered to live in the tower,but they were off on some top-secret mission for Fury and hadn't contacted them.
"Tony,it's only been about a month." Bruce said,taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.
"And that is a month too long. Do you know how long it's been since we partied with a drunk Thor?" Tony asked.
"Tony,we've never partied with a drunk Thor."
"Exactly! I think we should experience it,don't you? I mean,sober Thor is funny enough,but can you imagine a drunk one? It be like,a private,professional comedy. Heck,the guy already knows how to party when he's not hammered(get it? hammered?)just imagine how crazy he'll be when he is! Maybe if we're lucky,we'll get visited by a drunk Jolly Green Giant,and the two can party together,causing a whole lot of damage,explosions,and fun!." Tony grinned at him.
"Tony,no. Even if you do go throw a big party,and Thor gets drunk,which I really don't suggest,I won't be touching any alcohol. The Other Guy's hard enough to control with a clear head,I don't want to make it any easier for him. I'll just stick to tea or water,ok?" Bruce replied.
"Ok-"
"And I won't drink anything you give me. If I didn't make it,I won't touch it"
"Aw come on Brucie,don't be such a spoilsport."
"No,Tony."
"Oh just you wait,I'll get my drunk Hulk one way or another." Tony said,shaking a finger at him.
"Uh huh,sure. You keep thinking that."
"Will you give it to me as a birthday present?"
"Your birthday is 5 months away."
"But will you?"
Bruce sighed and said, "Maybe."
"Sweet!"
"That wasn't a yes Tony."
"Ah,but it will be!" said Tony in a sing-song voice.
Shaking his head,Bruce gave Tony a meaningful glance, "And anyway," he said,desperate to change the subject, "Just how do you plan on getting everyone here? It'll take Steve at least a week to get here from Ohio,which he hasn't even arrived in yet,you don't know where Clint and Natasha are,and you have no way to call Thor at all,let alone bring him down here."
"Elementary,my dear Banner. I'll simply hack the S.H.I.E.L.D files,again,to learn the locations of our dear Hawk and Widow. I'll use the suit to fly down to Capsicle,and to call Thor...well,I'll just get on the roof and shout his name to the sky for a few hours,and just go from there."
Bruce just shook his head, "Yeah,you do that."
"Do you think Clint would mind if I invite Loki?" asked Tony thoughtfully.
"Er..."
"No,I don't think so either. And of course Pepper will be there,maybe I should call Thunderhead's girlfriend,Jane? And she can bring that assistant of hers,what's her name...? Oh yeah,Darcy. Any lady friends you wanna add to the list,Doctor?"
Bruce thought of Betty Ross for a moment,but it had been so long,she'd probably moved on by now,forgotten about him. No,asking her here would just result in a lot of awkward conversations and mixed feelings.
"Not really Tony,but thanks anyway."
"You sure? I could always call up an old girlfriend or something. But then again,shouldn't be too hard to find a woman who wants to sleep with a guy who grows a couple feet when he gets excited." Tony said with a wink.
Bruce blushed and refused to look Tony in the eye as he spoke, "Yeah,not gonna happen Tony. The Other Guy's...thing,wouldn't fit inside any woman. So,I literally can't."
"You...you can't have sex?" asked Tony,astonished.
"No."
"Like, ever?"
"Never."
"Oh. My. God." Tony quickly engulfed Bruce in a hug."You poor,poor man." he faked sobbed, "Oh,I had no idea you were being tortured like this. And here I thought the Hulk was doing you a favor,but now I realize he's just plain cruel. What kind of a monster do you have to be to stop a man from getting laid, ever? Don't you worry Bruce,I promise I will find a way for you to get laid while still having the Hulk around. And until then,I'll have plenty of fun with Pepper,for the both of us."
"Erm...thanks,Tony. I really appreciate that." said Bruce.
"Anything for a dear friend," said Tony sincerely,obviously missing the sarcasm in Bruce's tone.
"Now,what day do you think we should have this little get together on? I was thinking next Thursday,sound good to you?" Tony asked,finally letting go of Bruce.
"Thursday?"
"Yeah! Friday and Saturday parties are so overdone. Besides,we could say it's Thor's birthday or something. You know,Thursday,Thorsday? Maybe we should celebrate his birthday every Thursday."
"...Thursday sounds good to me."
"Alright,Thursday it is. I'm gonna go invite the guests." said Tony,holding out a fist and looking at Bruce expectantly.
"What?" asked Bruce,confused.
"Come on, Science Bros! Can't begin a brilliant plan if we don't." Bruce rolled his eyes and fist-bumped Tony,both yelling "SCIENCE BROS!"
True to his word,Tony had found a way to bring almost everyone to the party. After hacking S.H.I.E.L.D files,he learned Clint and Natasha were finishing a mission in Portugal. He then hacked S.H.I.E.L.D. communications system,and after a lot of convincing and listening to a very mad Fury yell for an hour,the two agents agreed to come.
Tony had actually waited two days for Steve to get to his hotel in Ohio,but made up for it by calling him at one in the morning. A very sleepy and somewhat confused Steve had agreed to come,but refused to travel until the sun had actually risen. Which is why a Stark company car came to pick him up five minutes after sunrise.
After shouting to the sky for five hours straight,a very hoarse Tony Stark realized it wasn't working. So he hacked a satellite and yelled Thor's name through that,projecting it into space. Thor turned up the next day,asking why Tony's voice was booming through Asguard. After a brief explanation,Thor laughed heartily and clapped Tony on the back,almost knocking him over. He agreed to stay for the "Thorsday Party",but he sadly explained that Loki would be unable to come,due to his punishment which Thor refused to talk about.
Pepper agreed to come only because she said Tony needed adult supervision,and as she had the most experience,she was going to handle him when he got drunk. Which,everyone knows,he will.
Jane Foster had been called and had eagerly accepted the invitation once she heard that Thor was there. Her friend Darcy agreed when she realized they would be flying there in one of Tony's many private jets.
Tony laid out his oh-so carefully crafted party plans,and set to work decorating the room it was to be held in,the same room where Hulk had smashed Loki into the floor. Tony had found that very amusing,so amusing,in fact,that when repairing and remodeling the tower he had the Loki-shaped hole in the floor carefully removed and placed into the wall.
Thursday had finally arrived and although Tony had loudly complained how Pepper would not allow him to bring strippers and Bruce had sided with her,it wasn't all that bad. Clint and Natasha were hanging in the corner,drinks in hand,watching everyone,yet still managed to have what looked like a pleasant conversation. Steve was over by the food table blushing a deep red at Darcy attempts of flirting with him and giving some pretty strong innuendos,so clear even Mr. I-Come-From-The-40's-Where-Everyone's-A-Virgin-Unt il-Marriage got them.
Apparently Tony had managed to get Thor drunk,as they worth both swaying on their feet a little while laughing over some ridiculous part of the story Tony was telling. Bruce believed they were sharing stories of previous fights they had been in,if the way Thor swung his hammer to "valiantly conquer the dastardly evil-doers" was any clue.
Their girlfriends,Pepper and Jane,were trying to restrain and calm them down a bit. Needless to say,it wasn't really working. Eventually the two ran out of stories,and Jane took the opportunity to bring Thor's attention back to her by leading him into a makeout session the minute he stopped talking. It worked pretty well. Tony seemed to be trying to get Pepper to do the same with him,but so far she was refusing. After a while,the drunken Tony realized he wasn't getting anything from Pepper tonight,so he decided to find something else to entertain him.
"Hey guys,who's up for a team bonding exercise?" he called.
"Team bonding exercise?" repeated Steve,very surprised that Tony of all people would suggest such a thing.
"Yeah Capsicle,why not? We came here to have fun and catch up,right? So why not add some team bonding into the mix? You lovely ladies can join us." Tony added,winking at Pepper,and nodding to Jane and Darcy.
"I think it is a marvelous idea!" proclaimed Thor, "Let us proceed in this bonding exercise!"
Tony looked over at the two S.H.I.E.L.D agents,who looked at each other,shrugged,and walked over to Tony. Steve,looking slightly suspicious followed suit.
Tony looked over at Bruce expectantly, "Come on Science Bro,can't have a team bonding thingy without the whole team!" Bruce sighed and shook his head,but walked over to Tony anyway.
"Now,let's all sit down and I'll explain how this is gonna work." said Tony,smirking and gesturing to a table. Sitting in a rectangle,they all looked at either Tony or Bruce,silently asking what was going on. Bruce just shrugged,he had no idea what Tony was up to,and had long since realized that trying to figure it out would result in a headache and you being wrong anyway. Jane and Pepper had to sit in their boyfriends' laps,as there weren't enough chairs around it. Not that they,or the boyfriends,seemed to mind very much.
"Ok,here's what we should do. I know a lot of us don't exactly trust the others,especially my poor Science Bro over here." said Tony,clapping Bruce on the back and looking at Natasha pointedly. "So," he continued, "I propose we have a trust building exercise,and what better way to get to trust someone then by learning their deepest,darkest secrets that no one else knows?"
"No,Tony." said Natasha firmly.
"Oh come one. It'll be fun! Here,I'll go first." replied Tony. He sat thinking for a moment before saying "OK,when I was a kid,I owned the entire Captain America comic book collection."
"Y-You did?" stuttered Steve,astonished.
"Yep." replied Tony casually, "before I realized how extraordinarily cool I am,and how much of a fuddy-duddy you are. Now,who wants to go next?"
Steve didn't really believe what Tony said,but didn't try press anything else out of him. He didn't think Tony would've anything said if he was sober,and Steve being an honorable man, didn't want to trick or force him into saying anything he'd regret later.
The remaining Avengers (and guests) started looking at each other nervously,wondering who would go next.
"I will." Pepper finally said,to spare them of the awkward silence.
"Thanks,babe. Now shoot. And it better be something I don't already know." said Tony,kissing her cheek.
"Ok,well...a few years ago,before Tony and I were dating,before Iron Man,I...I made out with Happy."
"You WHAT?" cried Tony.
"I didn't mean to! We were at one of your parties,and I was drunk and making a fool of myself,he led me outside...and it just,sorta,happened. But it was just that one time,I swear." Pepper replied,blushing and staring at her feet.
"I am going to have a serious talk with that guy later." Tony growled.
"Oh Tony,don't be harsh,it was before we were dating and before I realized how sweet and caring you are on the inside." Pepper soothed,rubbing his back and kissing his cheek. The others thought she might be laying it on a bit thick,but the drunken Tony Stark seemed to eat it up.
"Well,I suppose if I have both of your words that it'll never happen again..." started Tony.
"I promise,and Happy will too." Pepper said quickly.
"Alright but you also have to..." Tony whispered something in Pepper's ear that made her blush a deep red. She looked at him and nodded,and he smiled widely.
"Ok,you're both forgiven." he said.
"I'll go next!" cried Jane,probably to get the attention off of Pepper. Pepper nodded her thanks,and Jane thought for a minute.
"Here's something not even Darcy knows," she started,and Darcy perked up with interest. "In my college years,if I finished everything I needed to do for the night,I would go out and party with the jocks and populars,and got drunk off my ass. I always managed to get back to my dorm alright,but I was surprised I was able to finish my classes with all the hangovers I had."
"Why Jane!" said Darcy, "I never knew you were such a rebel!"
Thor looked confused, "But why would that be something to hide? On Asguard,the women celebrate their victories with heavy beer and wine,dancing and sometimes breeding with their men."
Jane blushed,and almost everyone could tell she was wondering if Thor had been one of "their men".
"I believe I shall tell a tale next," said Thor, "When I was a young boy,Loki and I were playing a game in the gardens,similar to the Midgardians 'hide-and-seek',only if you are found,you must smack your face for choosing a foolish hiding place and kiss the shoes of the seeker for being smart enough to find you. Well,in one game,I hid myself in my mother's flower beds,forgetting that in she had planted dragon's breath,a very lovely little flower that I happen to be highly allergic to. I spent the next week with itchy red hives covering every inch of my body,while my face puffed up to resemble a rather large...uh,what is the Midgardian term...um,balloon! Yes,that's it! My face resembled a large red balloon!" he 's laughter was seemed contagious,and everyone was soon laughing with him,imagining a red poofy Thor.
"I'll go next!" Darcy raised her hand,several minutes later,after everyone had finally calmed down, "Ok,before I met Jane here,I smoked pot."
"And was it very calming?" Tony asked.
"Yes,yes it was." said Darcy. Tony turned to Bruce and pointed at him dramatically, "HA! I knew that was your secret!" he cried.
Bruce rolled his eyes, "No Tony,for the hundredth time,I do not smoke weed."
"Then-"
"Nor do I play bongo drums"
"Then-"
"I don't listen to jazz either,Tony."
Tony pouted.
"Hey Clint,what about you?" asked Bruce,hoping to change the subject.
Clint thought for a minute, "I once got drunk at a circus and woke up dressed as a clown." he said.
"Seriously?" Tony laughed.
"Seriously." Clint replied.
Everyone started laughing,picturing Clint in a clown costume. When they finally settled down,Thor asked what a clown was,and it got them going again. Bruce told him clowns were like jesters,which he hoped they had on Asguard,for it would be a bit more complicated to explain if they didn't. Luckily it seemed they did,as Thor started laughing heartily,and accidentally started making thunder roll across the sky.
"Ok,ok" said Tony,trying to breathe and wiping a tear from his eye, "Who's next?"
The only three left were Bruce,Steve,and Natasha. They looked at each other,wondering who would spill first.
"I'll go," Steve finally caved,when Bruce and Natasha gave him the 'well-you're-the-leader' look. "Um...when I first heard of fondue,I thought it was some kind of innuendo." he blushed.
Tony looked at him incredulously for a few seconds until he began to laugh.
"You...thought...FONDUE!" he cried out between laughs.
Steve blushed deeper,and Darcy patted his hand,barely holding in her own laughs.
"Yes,I know it was stupid,I just..." Steve trailed off,and Tony laughed harder,tears rolling down his face. Clint started chuckling,and Natasha smiled. The remaining females were doing their best not to laugh,and Bruce was sending Steve a sympathetic look Thor was,as usual,confused. He planned to ask Jane later just what fondue was. And an innuendo,for that matter.
Deciding to give Steve mercy,who now resembled a tomato,Bruce said, "Natasha,why don't you go next?"
Natasha turned and glared at him,a glare that might have even made Nick Fury second guess himself. But there were a few advantages from turning into an enormous green-rage monster,and not being able to suffocate by thigh-choke was one of them. That being said,Bruce did not back down.
"Fine," she muttered eventually. She thought for a moment,then said, "I once had to work in a strip bar for an undercover mission."
"Oh really?" asked Tony,a wide smile on his face,waggling his eyebrows, "Care to give us a demonstration,Miss Romanoff?"
"No."
"Come on,I'm sure Clint would really enjoy it. I would too,as a matter of fact."
"No." replied Natasha,as Pepper smacked Tony hard across the face.
"I dunno,I think he's right. I'd love to see a demonstration of your great 'undercover skills'" said Clint,raising a suggestive eyebrow.
The glare she gave him almost made him pee his pants.
"So,I uh,believe it is your turn,Doctor Banner." said Steve,ever the peacemaker.
Everyone turned to look at Bruce,who immediately blushed.
"I-I really d-don't have any-anything interesting t-to tell you. You g-guys know p-pretty much everything about me."
"Oh come on Bruce,give me something I can tell the world about through the Internet and media and everybody will think it's just a made up rumor." said Tony.
"Yeah,how about something from before your accident?" suggested Clint.
"Yes,I too would like to know something of the life of friend Banner before the Hulk came into existence." said Thor.
Bruce sighed, "Alright,alright,let me think a minute."
Bruce went through the memories he had before the Hulk. Drunk abusive father? Too depressing,it would ruin the party. Death of his mother? Same. His mother when she was still breathing? Too painful. Working for Ross? Nah,didn't want to bring up the asshole into conversation,and he might get nightmares of being shot at by the bastard when he was Hulk. Dating his daughter,Betty? No,too personal.
'Think,Bruce." he thought to himself, 'What was the happiest,most memorable thing that happened to you before the accident?"
Then,Bruce got it. It wasn't the happiest thing that had happened to him in those days,but it was fun,entertaining,and memorable. And Tony probably wouldn't believe it anyway.
"Ok,I got it." he said finally. " About a year before the accident,I was sort of well known,amongst a certain group of people. So well known,in fact,that I was asked to guest star on an episode of...Sesame Street."
There was a moment of silence.
Finally Tony let out a "What?"
"I guest starred on Sesame Street." repeated Bruce,blushing.
"Seriously?"
"Yep."
"No way."
"It's true."
"Impossible!"
"Completely possible."
"Prove it."
"Can't" Bruce shrugged, "I don't think they play that episode anymore."
"Ah,but you're forgetting who I am." said Tony,shaking a finger at him. "JARVIS!" he yelled.
"Yes Sir?" came the A.I's response.
"I need you to find me a clip of Dr. Banner here on Sesame Street."
"One moment,sir." said Jarvis.
"Tony,please,don't do this." said Bruce,hoping to backtrack and keep whatever dignity he had left.
"Sorry Brucie,but I need proof before I believe that crazy story. I mean,you gotta admit,it's pretty far-fetched." said Tony smirking.
"Tony,please,if you value my dignity,well-being and our friendship,you will NOT play that clip." said Bruce.
"Oh,Brucie,honey,of course I do!" said Tony sympathetically.
"Thank you," sighed Bruce.
"But I'm gonna play it anyway."
"NO!"
"Sir,I have found the video you have requested on YouTube. Shall I play it?"
"Oh please do,Jarvis."
"Jarvis,please,no!" cried Bruce,in a final desperate attempt.
"I'm sorry Doctor Banner,but I admit to being curious as well." replied Jarvis.
"Oh no," Bruce slumped in defeat and put his head in his hands.
"Oh come on Bruce,it can't be THAT bad." said Clint.
"Yeah,it's Sesame Street. How embarrassing could it possibly be?" asked Darcy.
"It's settled then. Jarvis,play the video!" cried Tony.
"Yes sir," said Jarvis.
Bruce groaned as the video began.
(The video starts with Bruce in a light blue T-shirt,giving a one-armed hug the puppet named Murray,a purple screen behind them.)
"Hello,I'm Bruce." said Bruce.
"And I'm Murray!" said the red monster.
"And we're here to tell you about the word 'empathy'" said Bruce.
"Empathy! Yes! Empathy!" cried Murray.
"Tell them about the word empathy." said Bruce.
"Um,uh...oh" said Murray.
"What's wrong?" asked Bruce.
"Well,um,you're-you're not gonna believe this,Bruce-"
"What?"
"But I can't remember what empathy means!"
"No,no,that's ok. I'll tell them what empathy means!" said Bruce.
"Oh boy!" (Bruce begins to say something,but Murray interrupts,) "This is so exciting! Bruce Banner,is gonna tell us,about empathy! oh boy oh boy oh boy OH BOY!" (Murray laughs hysterically)
"Can I do it?" asked Bruce.
"Oh please,go for it Bruce."
"Alright. Empathy,is when you're able to understand, and care about,how someone else is feeling." explained Bruce.
"Ooooh,riiiight. That's what empathy is!" said Murray.
"Right!" said Bruce.
"I don't get it." said Murray.
"What!" cried Bruce.
"Sorry,"
"Ok,ok let me see if I can explain it to you in some way." said Bruce,and he starts rubbing his hands together.
"Ok,I'm gonna listen." said Murray.
"Let's say I'm walking along and-oomph!" cried Bruce,bending over.
"What?" asked Murray,concerned.
"Oh,I stubbed my toe." says Bruce in a pained voice.
Murray gasps "Oh,ow!"
"Oh,that hurts!" cries Bruce.
"Oh,you poor thing!" exclaims Murray.
"Oh,Murray,Murray,Murray." says Bruce.
"Oh,that hurts! I can imagine exactly how you feel-"
"THAT'S IT!" yells Bruce.
"Who? Huh? W-What's it?" asks Murray.
"That's it! That's empathy!" says Bruce.
"What's empathy?"
"You can imagine exactly how I feel,you understand just how it felt. That's empathy." explained Bruce.
"I still don't get it."
"What?"
"I still don't get it," Murray repeats.
(Bruce looks stunned,then says...) "Ok,ok. Let's think of another way."
"Ok,let's think of another way." says Murray.
(Bruce rubs his hands together as he thinks.)
"Um..."says Bruce.
"Thinking!" says Murray.
"Uh! Murray,"
"What?"
"Did I ever tell you,about the time I lost my favorite teddy bear?"
"Oh no." says Murray,shocked.
(Bruce pretends to cry and be upset) "It was..."
"This is very sad." says Murray, "Did you love that teddy bear,Bruce?"
"I LOVED,that teddy bear." Bruce replies.
"OH! I can imagine,exactly how you feel!" Murray starts crying and Bruce hugs him, "It's a really sad feeling,it makes me wanna cry like this." (Murray cries some more)
"It was sad!" cries Bruce, "It was so sad! But you know what?"
"What?" asks Murray,coming out of the hug.
"You know what empathy is!"
"I do?"
"That was empathy!"
"What?"
"You could understand how I was feeling,exactly how I was feeling and understood it. That's empathy." Bruce explained again.
Murray gasps, "I get it now! Yes! Yes I get it!"
"Yes!" Bruce exclaims.
"I understand empathy!" yelled Murray.
"You understand empathy Murray!" Bruce cries,taking his hands and shaking them.
"I'm so happy right now-!" starts Murray.
"I'm happy too!" says Bruce.
"-I wanna dance the Dance of Happiness!" cries Murray.
"I can imagine exactly how you feel,I wanna dance the Dance of Happiness too!" cries Bruce.
"Then what are we waiting for?" asks Murray.
"LET'S DO IT!" they yell together.
(Music plays and Murray and Bruce dance the Dance of Happiness,singing along with the music.)
When the music finally stops,they hold out their hands and yell "EMPATHY!" one last time,and the video fades to black.
There was stunned silence.
Tony was staring at the screen in shock,eyes wide,mouth hanging open. Thor looked a little confused,and Steve was blinking rapidly at the screen,as though he couldn't believe his eyes. Clint and Natasha seemed to have frozen,it was the only time anyone had actually seen them surprised. Jane and Darcy were trying not to laugh for Bruce's sake,but they couldn't stop smiling. Pepper was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the shy,quiet. mild-mannered Doctor she'd come to love like a brother used to be that loud and energetic.
Bruce was blushing furiously,all the way from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his neck. The only way anyone could tell was the redness of his ears,as it was the only part they could see,for Bruce had long-since buried his face in his hands.
Then,all at once,everyone turned to look at Bruce. Bruce felt their eyes on him,and slowly raised his head,face glowing like the setting sun.
"Do you believe me now?" he asked tentatively.
And that's when Tony lost it.
"Y-you...were...da-dancing...on Ses-Ses-SESAME STREET!" he said between laughs.
"I am most confused on how Dr. Banner was in two places at once,dancing with a red, furry,creature." said Thor.
"Ooh! I'll explain it!" cried Steve, "You see Thor,that was called a video. It's a recording of something that someone has already done,so you can see it many times. It;s kind of like a record book,but with moving pictures instead of words. We were watching something Dr. Banner did a few years ago." said Steve happily,obviously proud of being able to explain something for once,instead of having something be explained to him.
"Oh,I see. But may I inquire why Bruce was dancing with a red furry creature?"
"You see Thor," said Jane, "the video Bruce was on was made for the enjoyment of young children. They see the 'fuzzy creature' as cute and funny. The fuzzy creature,or Murray, makes children laugh and smile."
"Yes,Murray does. Bruce,however,is not a regular part of that show,and I am wondering how the hell they convinced him to do it!" Tony laughed, "How much did they pay you to do the 'Dance of Happiness?' What drugs did they put you on? Seriously,I gotta know."
Bruce blushes even darker,if possible. "I wasn't on anything,Tony. And,they promised to donate a fair amount of money to my college's science equipment funds. And it's a show that entertains thousands of children all over the world. How could I possibly have said no?"
"Like this: 'No'" said Tony,laughing even harder. He looked like he was gonna wet himself any second now. Bruce groaned and returned his face to his hands.
For the next week and a half,poor Bruce was given not-so-subtle reminders of his Sesame Street adventure. While making lunch in the kitchen,Clint asked him how his toe was feeling. Thor kept asking Bruce to explain empathy him,and Steve gave him a framed drawing of Murray to put on his bedside table. Natasha bought him a teddy bear to 'replace the one he lost',and Tony kept asking to be taught the Dance of Happiness. He also found the music that was played during said dance,and played it whenever he or Bruce had the smallest success in the lab. After two weeks,Bruce couldn't take it any longer. The other Avengers had,thank God,eventually gotten bored and dropped the whole thing. But knew better than to hope the same with Tony. Tony would never let it go. He thought it best just to ask Tony to stop. With bribery,of course. Bruce got his chance a few days later,after Tony had successfully added a few adjustments to his suit that allowed him to survive in space. Sure,the odds of having to fly into space and throw a nuke into the mothership of an evil alien race to save the world again were slim,but better safe than sorry,right? "Hey Tony?" asked Bruce, "I need you to do me a quick favor." "Whad'ya need,Brucie boy?" asked Tony. "Well,I was wondering,if you wouldn't mind,STOP making references to the damn Sesame Street thing." Bruce said the ending forcefully. Tony scoffed, "And why,pray tell,would I ever want to do THAT?" "If you do,I'll get you a drunk Hulk for your birthday." "...Seriously?" "Yes." "Promise? And no backing out?" "I promise." "...Deal."
Ok,so I just want people to know that I completely made ALL the stories up,except the video,obviously.(And Tony was a Cap fan as a kid,but that's not the point) I know almost nothing about the pasts of Natasha and Clint,but I do know Clint lived in a circus at one point,so I'd imagine he got drunk there a couple times. I only saw the Thor and Captain America movies one time each,so I'm sorry if I screwed something up. To be honest,I hardly remember the fondue thing with Steve. And Pepper probably never made out with Happy,Jane probably never went partying during college,and Darcy probably never smoked pot. Thank you,that is all.