Had this idea and finally wrote it down. I don't know what it is about the episode 'Zugzwang', but I just like to write about it.
Anyways! Enjoy!
I DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS
The worst day of my life was when I had to send my mother away. She had begged me to let her stay but I knew that wasn't an option if I wanted her to continue hurting herself. But it still broke my heart, that act of betrayal towards my only family. I tried to make up for it by sending her letters every single day, but the stain was permanent. The second worst day was when Tobias Hankle kidnapped me. Raphael carried out 'God's Will' by murdering in front of my eyes, Tobias's father beat me and killed me, and Tobias gave me release and saved my life. And I repaid his kindness by killing him. And then the days began to blur in a cycle of never-ending pain and hate fueled by my addictions. I pushed my team away refusing their help. And then the misery began to build. Gideon's girlfriend was killed, a boy was shot in front of me, my past came back to haunt me, I contracted Anthrax, I was shot, Hotch's wife was killed, Emily was 'killed', Emily came back, and I lost sight of my friendship. I drove myself harder into my work trying to bury those feelings, but by doing so I only stared into the Abyss longer. And eventually the Abyss stared back. Screwing around with my personality, my sleeping habits, giving me migranes until I had become a metaphorical robot. Just going through the motions, doing my job without a sideways glance.
And then I met a girl. The smartest girl in the world and she saved me. Saved me from my nightmares and headaches. Saved me from myself. She was my guardian angel showing me the light out of the endless dark. But the devil had other ideas. She became jealous of my angel and tried to destroy her. She made her hide in shadows in fear of being caught. She attacked her keeping her away from me. She bound her magnificient glowing wings and kept her captive. She stole her safety and innocence. But it wasn't enough for the greedy beast of temptations. She wanted everything. She wanted my love for her. So I gave it to her hoping that she would release my angel. But in doing so I showed my angel even more love. Giving up on her because wanted her free next to me. So the devil killed her in front of my own eyes. And I finally cracked.
I stared at my love's lifeless form next to her persecutor. As the blood ran from her body and eyes glazed over. I stood there broken. Because after all the good I had done, after all the lives I had saved, I didn't save Maeve's. So I stood and watched unable to move for I had nothing to live for. I asked myself why I was alive if I had nothing to live for.
And I found my answer. No Reason. No Logic. No Explination. And I laughed, because I wasn't Logical. I cried out in pain and sorrow and joy and for no reason whatsoever. I collapsed trying to keep my head from splitting open as I became mad. I rocked back and forth next to Maeve's still body as I lost my sanity. I felt my friends try to put me back together, but Humpty Dumpty's fall was too great. So they put me in a health institution and visited regularly. But I would scratch myself in order to feel again. I would scream until my throat would bleed. So they would lock me up in the soft room, reducing my exposure to the outside world even more. And eventually I had no will.
Then one day he came. The little boy with blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. He tried to play with me calling out my name and holding my hand. But I didn't respond so he started to cry. And I realized that he was a person who needed me and I couldn't let him down. So I played with him trying to stop him from crying because you never let a child cry. And I woke up to reality, not the same as I was before, but still Spencer Reid. And I grew a new family who needed me as much as I needed them. Thus a stronger Humpty Dumpty was born.
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