I wake to the sound of water dripping from the ceiling corner and the glow of faint sunlight coming through the distorted window of the apartment that I share with my best friend, Christina. I glance up at the clock that hangs on our peeling wall. 5:43 AM.
I look at my roommate laying in her bed across from mine, her bangs fall in her face and her mouth hangs open. I'm always up earlier than her.
Every morning Tobias wants to meet so we can run together. It's surprised me how much easier it's gotten for me to keep up with him. When I see him, he exudes strength. But it isn't just his strength that makes him one of the most skilled in Dauntless; it's also his speed.
Quietly, I change my clothes and brush my teeth as to not wake my friend. As I apply the toothpaste to my toothbrush, I glance up and get a bit shocked to see myself in the mirror above the sink. After all these months, I still haven't gotten used to the image of my reflection. I've come to realize that in the morning, the skin just underneath my eyes get dark. I remember seeing this same feature on my mother as she would sit at the breakfast table with my brother Caleb and I in the mornings when we lived in Abnegation.
Applying a minimal amount of makeup, I try not to think about the fact that I still have yet to see him since the drop of his blood fell into the large bowl of water at the Choosing Ceremony over six months ago. Faction before blood is a good idea on paper, but it is much harder to carry out than others make it seem.
I walk down the hallway to the flight of stairs that leads to the training room where I was beaten up many times; fewer times actually doing the beating. If the room wasn't full of fighting rings and punching bags, the gray cement could almost make it an Abnegation gathering hall or something.
Currently, one of the punching bags was being abused pretty harshly. I walk over to it, the sound of my footsteps being drowned out by Tobias' grunting.
"I thought we were saving strength training for tomorrow." I say, standing next to him with a smile.
He stops his punching and wipes his nose. "Well, since you got here late…" I would've taken his stone face as a serious sign of anger if I didn't see the twinkle in his eye.
I laugh, "It's been two minutes. You can't stop moving for two minutes?"
He simply smiles and takes my hand. Once we get outside of the building we set off running. For the most part we follow underneath the train tracks, trying to stay outside from where the life of all the other factions are. We mostly run the same track every day and it's pretty boring scenery if I'm being perfectly honest. But I don't mind, because at least I'm free. I feel the air coming in and out of my lungs in a quick pattern and hear as Tobias' and my strides sync together as our feet hit the pavement.
However, today, he is leading me on a different path. At first I didn't realize where we were headed, but then I caught sight of the ferris wheel. He glances at me with a small smile and runs ahead even faster. I can see the sheen of sweat on his tan skin. A drop falling from his neck into the flames of the Dauntless tattoo peeking out of his shirt. I take only a moment to admire the muscles of his back that I see through his shirt until I run as hard as I can to get ahead of him.
Finally, after another mile of running, I reach the ferris wheel and slam my hand on its rusted metal. Tobias is a few seconds behind and I know that he let me beat him. Again. This bothers me probably more than it should. I never realized how competitive I am until joining my current faction.
"Ready to climb?" I say, still catching my breath.
He lets out a breathless laugh. Clearly he doesn't think I'm serious.
"No, really. Why stop here?" I ask him deadpan.
His dark blue eyes meet mine and he loses his smile when he realizes that I'm not kidding. Bent over, his chest is still heaving and I can almost see through his shirt. One of his fingers is on top of my hand that still grips the cool metal bar of the ferris wheel.
"You can't be serious…" He pants.
I squint my eyes and swing my feet onto the ladder.
"Tris, come on."
"You don't have to come with me, you know." But I know he does. He's more freaked out from what happened the last time that we were on this ferris wheel than I am.
I hear him mutter something under his breath before I feel his weight start to follow me up the ladder. I can't stop the smirk from appearing on my face.
We get about fifteen yards up before my whole body swings off the side and I'm nearly falling to my death. I feel Tobias' hand on my ankle and realize that it's him doing this.
"What the hell?!" I scream at him as I grip the prongs.
"You're stupid to come back up here. This isn't safe." I whip my head around and see fear in his eyes. After a moment, I realize it isn't fear for his own safety.
Without saying a word I begin climbing down and he follows.
Once he reaches the bottom he tries helping me down until I push his hands off my waist.
"Don't be mad at me." He says once my feet hit the ground.
I meet his eyes, "Stop letting me win."
He smirks, "Okay."
We ride the train back to Dauntless. Both of us stand opposite each other, leaning on the walls by the open doors. I stare out and see the marsh gleaming out from behind the buildings. I feel Tobias' eyes on me as I focus on the flock of geese flying above large swamp.
"Why do you always let me win?" I slice the silence that fills the empty car and fix my gaze on him now.
He just looks at me for a moment, almost as if he's contemplating his answer. "Because I love watching you reach the end and I can't watch if I'm ahead of you."
I give him confused look.
The corners of his lips turn up, "You just get the most satisfied look on your face. It's cute," He says amusingly.
I smile as I walk to stand in front of him. He uncrosses his arms and puts them at his side. "Well, maybe I like watching you run," I return.
He quickly grabs my hips and pulls my body flush against his. My hands grip his arms in response. His expression turns solemn before he puts a single hand under my chin and touches his lips to mine.
Even from our first one, it's been difficult for Tobias and I to just have a simple kiss. Once his lips meet mine, it ignites a fire in both of us. It's dauntless.
My grip on his arms becomes tighter and his arms completely wrap around me as he takes control and deepens our kiss. One of my hands reaches to the back of his neck and I feel the hair that sits at the nape of his neck.
I giggle into his lips, "Someone needs a haircut."
He lets out a recovering sigh, "Dauntless don't need to cut their hair." He says almost satirically.
"I thought you liked your Abnegation hair."
I recall hearing the buzz of his razor through his cracked bathroom door when I entered his apartment unannounced one day.
"Do you like it?"
I shrug, biting the inside of my cheek. To be honest, I do like it. It looks good on him. I like that it's shorter and not too wacky like some of the other men in our faction. It's like having a little piece of Abnegation in Dauntless.
He gives me a knowing smirk before pulling me in for a hug.
Pretty soon we reach Dauntless and jump off the train hand in hand. But Tobais' leap is much bigger than mine and after he lands on his feet, my body crashes into his and we both fall into the gravel on top of the roof.
I wait for his groan but instead he begins to chuckle; that, then develops into laughter. Until his guffaw comes from deep inside of his chest, booming. I begin to giggle just from hearing this. And even though I've never heard him laugh like this before, it sounds so familiar. It sounds like home.
Finally after recovering we jump and make our way down to the dining hall for breakfast. I can't hold back my smile, standing in line as Tobias takes three muffins. If muffins were the only thing on the Dauntless menu for the rest of time, he would be completely satisfied.
I simply grab a cup of coffee with milk and sugar. Sugar is something that we never had in Abnegation. Food only served as something to sustain us, it wasn't meant to taste good or give us a rush like sugar does. That would be self-serving.
It wasn't until I came to Dauntless that I realized food is actually supposed to be flavorful. Food doesn't just give you life, if it's tasty then it can bring some amount of joy to your life. I can tell Tobias is still getting used to it as well with his love for a certain kind of sugary food.
We both join the table where Christina and Will are seated. Christina is extremely chipper in the morning, and she doesn't even drink coffee. Will, however, is on his second cup I'm assuming, as he usually is at this time. 9:12.
"What did you guys do this morning?" Christina asks as we sit down.
"We went for a run."
"Aw, that's nice. Will, how come we can be as fit as them? We could wake up when it's dark and run with the sunrise," She says romantically.
"Because we're not crazy." Will uses an adjective before the word crazy that I had never heard before I entered Dauntless.
Tobias and I try to stifle our laughter as Christina makes a pouty face and Will is still struggling to hold his head up with his hand.
I sneak my hand over to Tobias' plate and steal a piece off one of his muffins. The chocolate one. He gives me a look out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh, c'mon. You've got three!"
"And I'm going to get another."
"Is that why they call you Four?" Will asks.
We all share a laugh and a groan at the now-awoken Will's bad joke.
After breakfast, I return to my apartment to shower and change for work. Temporarily, I'm working a job with Tori at the tattoo parlor. Because I was first in the class, I have the option to work almost anywhere I like but I just wasn't sure when they asked me. After all, I am only 16 years old.
I dress into my all black clothes. Black jeans, black tank top, black boots. I don't mind it. I think the color is flattering and I like that we all wear the same color as a faction. It's another thing that reminds me of Abnegation.
When I reach the tattoo parlor, Tori is already working on someone. I begin to wipe down the counters and clean the tools. It's during time like these that I understand what my mother meant when she would say that there's an art to losing yourself. Mind-numbing tasks like running and cleaning make me lose all sense of self. It's calming.
Tori finishes up the man she was working on and walks over to me.
"I'll never understand the fascination of getting another person's head tattooed on your body." She says.
I snort.
"Seriously, no matter how good the artist is, it never actually turns out to look exactly like that person. It's just weird."
My training with Tori didn't take too long. She told me that I have a natural talent for art but she's still having me do the simple tattoos. Which I prefer anyways, most people give you liberty in creativity when they want something small.
But, I do wish to someday do something as intricate and original as the one on Tobias' back. Tori told me a bit about when she did it. She said he got his first tattoo when he was drunk, but the one on his back, he made that decision completely sober. However, she did say there was this crazy look in his eye and she knew that no matter what she told him, he wouldn't take no for an answer.
Towards the end of the night, I'm beat. My feet ache from standing all day and my hand is cramped from how tightly I have to hold the needle.
I sit on the edge of one of the chairs meant for the customers as I begin to clean all the tools again. Tori's standing at the counter making sure all the credit is in order in our system.
Once I finish I say goodbye to Tori and make my way out and I see Tobias standing right outside waiting for me.
"Hey." I greet him. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought maybe you could cut my hair tonight." He says with a mischevious grin.
I laugh at his enthusiasm and agree.
"So, we can go back to my place."
I bite the inside of my cheek, "Okay." I agree.
As we make our way through the halls to Tobias' apartment I get that feeling in my stomach. It's like it's doing flips. Every time I go to his apartment I get this reaction; I don't know if it will ever go away.
He moves one of his chairs to the kitchen and plugs the electric razor into the outlet by the counter. I begin to smooth his hair with the comb he gave me to use. I think of the many times that I watched my mother do this to my brother. Her careful hands would weave through his hair to give him the classic, straight Abnegation cut.
"You know, I'm kinda surprised you're letting me do this." I tell him as I begin buzzing.
"Why's that?" He asks.
"Well, I've never actually done this before. And you don't know if I'm even handy with a razor, I could nick your ear."
"I wouldn't be surprised if you did it on purpose."
"Yeah, well, tit for tat." I reply, thinking of when he threw those sharp knives at me as I stood in front of one of the targets during initiation. I remember putting a finger to my ear and having it comb back red. I didn't even know what to think of Tobias back then, that's when he was just Four to me. It seems so long ago.
Tobias quietly laughs at the memory as well.
It doesn't take me long to finish cutting and I tell him to go to the bathroom and check in the mirror. I follow him and stand by the doorway, watching him as he looks and fidgets with his dark hair.
He turns around, "Not too bad for your first time," he says with a playful glint in his eye.
"Thanks." I say, dryly.
Tobias goes back into the kitchen to clean up, but I walk out onto his balcony. I love to come out here and look out at the city. I remember zip lining over all the buildings. I was flying, just like the birds that sit on my collar bone.
Tobias eventually comes out with two glasses filled with a dark, red liquid. It tastes rich and sweet, but burns going down my throat. I know it's alcohol from the warmth that I feel after taking a few sips. I never tried alcohol before Tobias introduced me to it. I like it because it almost gets rid of that feeling in my stomach. Almost.
"How was work today?" He asks before he takes a sip.
We both take a seat on the ground.
"It was good. I got to give this man a tattoo on his head." I say excitedly.
Tobias chuckles at that. "That's gotta hurt."
I nod, "He cried."
Tobias furrows his brow at me. I doubt he's ever heard of a Dauntless crying from a tattoo, let alone seen one.
"I'm kidding!" I say with a laugh.
"I didn't know you were such a master of sarcasm." He says with chuckle.
"I learned from the best." I tease, looking up at his handsome face.
He slings an arm around my shoulder, "I'm not sarcastic." His voice is somber as we both stare out at our city.
I don't need to look at him to see the twinkle in his eye that always gives away when he's being facetious and when he's serious. I look anyway.
His eyes meet mine and we hold each other's gaze until he kisses my forehead. I close my eyes and just focus on the feeling of his cool lips against my skin. This is another thing I don't think I'll ever get used to; the warm feeling I get when he touches me. It's like drinking alcohol.
I rest my head on his shoulder as we watch the twinkling stars that sit above even the tallest buildings of our skyline.
A/U: Hello, thank you so much for reading! Please write any questions, comments, criticisms. I purposely made this so that the background of this is not just from the book but also the movie. Obviously, I love the book more but I just love how the movie took a different take on stuff, so I will include that as well. Again thank you so much! These characters are not mine.