I was in my dressing room preparing for the night. It was Saturday and I was going to the musical guest on Saturday Night Live. My label decided that it would be a good idea to book me since I had my first show the night before. It was a huge success. Max wasn't in New York but I planned on going to a lot more places. Vanessa Hudgens was hosting to promote her new movie Beastly. My door was open slightly and I couldn't help but hear a conversation. I decided to eavesdrop a little.
"What do you mean she's sick?" Lorne asked, sounding frustrated. "The show is on in an hour."
"I went to check on her and she was puking in the garbage can." This girl named Abby replied. "I really don't think that she can perform."
I felt really bad for her. She wasn't much older than me and I knew that the cast really didn't get paid were big stars like Andy. Missing an episode could cost her a lot.
"What am I supposed to do then?" Lorne asked, sounding even more frustrated. "The show is on an hour and NBC is going to be really pissed if they have to air something else. Wait a minute…"
Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I figured he was going to be telling me the show was cancelled. I opened the door.
"Zoey, hi." He greeted.
"Hi Lorne." I reciprocated. "Is everything alright?"
I wanted to act like I wasn't eavesdropping.
"No, not really." He replied. "I don't know if you heard but Vanessa is sick."
"That definitely isn't good." I remarked, faking shock. "So what happens now? Are you gonna cancel the show?"
"Actually I was hoping that I could get a favor from you." He said. This didn't sound good. "I need you to fill in as host."
"What?" I questioned. This time I really was shocked. "But I haven't rehearsed. I barely know what the sketches are. I've never acted before. What about Justin Timberlake? Isn't he always here or something?"
"No, he's not here this time." Lorne informed me. "We can go over a few sketches quickly. If you don't remember the lines just improvise. As long as you don't say anything vulgar or offensive we should be okay."
"And how do I explain why it's me hosting and not her. A lot of people probably don't even know who I am." I retorted.
"Well you are quite possibly the biggest star that Youtube has ever produced." He pointed out. "I this will be great exposure for you. I'll even give you an extra million for doing it."
I don't know why but I couldn't say no. I wanted to say that I wasn't in it for the money.
"Great rehearsal starts in 5." He said as he walked away.
"I can't believe this is happening again." I muttered.
"What's happening?" Abby asked as she walked in.
"When I did the Hannah concert, I was asked to fill in for none other than Vanessa Hudgens." I explained. "So I guess we haven't officially met. I'm Zoey."
"I'm Abby." She responded. "My dad was on the show when your dad hosted."
"Who's your dad?" I asked expectedly.
"Chris Elliot." She answered. The name didn't sound familiar. "You've probably never heard of him. He hasn't really been in much lately."
"No I can't say that I have." I agreed. "So was it hard for you…going into the family business?"
"It was a little at first." She admitted. "I mean it was a little hard, knowing that Lorne was my dad's boss and he was now my boss. But the cast accepted with me open arms. We're kind of like a family and I'm the youngest."
"How old are you?" I asked.
"I was 21 when I started two years ago." She explained. "Anyway my best advice is to forget about being nervous and have fun. I mean that's what you do when you sing, right?"
"Yeah." I responded. We didn't have much time to talk because we were told the five minutes were up.
The rehearsals were strange. I was basically just told to try to memorize a few important lines and improvise the rest. It turned out that Vanessa's character was cut from the opening scene so I didn't have to do that. After the scene was done, the announcer said my name. I was supposed to give some sort of monologue.
"Hi everyone." I started. "As you can tell, I'm not Vanessa Hudgens. She was sick and I was asked to fill in on short notice. Some of you probably don't know who I am. I'm Zoey Martin and while you may know me, you may know my dad Kurt Martin or his brother Chris Martin from Coldplay."
"So anyway it's so weird that I'm hosting the show. Less than a month ago, I was a debutante and now I'm here." I explained. "So I don't really much acting experience. I'm not sure what else to say from here."
I looked to side and mouthed help to Lorne. He basically pushed Abby onto the stage.
"So Abby, hi." I said nervously.
"Hi." She remarked. "So did you know that my dad was on the show when your dad hosted."
"Yeah that probably makes some fans of the show feel old." I added. "I do remember that episode. That was the one where he kissed Adam Sandler."
"Yeah that's right." Abby said. "I think I know how we can top that, though."
"How?" I asked.
Suddenly she grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. I definitely wasn't expecting that but I kissed back anyway. I knew I shouldn't feel too bad in the world of entertainment, kissing wasn't really cheating.
I pulled away and figured this was a good place to end my monologue.
"We have a great show for you tonight." I said. "I'm also the musical guest which I am definitely better at. We'll be right back."
I walked off the stage while they showed a pre-taped fake commercial that I wasn't in.
"That was genius." Lorne beamed. "Great improvisational skills."
The first sketch was called Movies that have come recently that you probably Haven't Seen. It was going to be a parody of Bandslam which Vanessa was in. Naturally I was taking over for her so I wore a black wig and a hat. I actually had the movie when I was a guy. The girl I was with was the type who liked to watch the movie.
"So how big is the Bandslam thing?" Andy, who was playing Will, asked.
"It's the Super Bowl combined with the American Idol finale." I said in a monotone voice. It was part of how the character talked.
"What's your name?" He asked as I gave him a slip of paper.
"The 5 is silent." I replied.
"Why do you have a 5 in your name?" He asked.
"Because I'm this emo girl who thinks emotions are dumb that is actually a great singer and will help you out later." I responded. "Who are you?"
"Oh I'm Will, the new kid who knows everything there is to know about music and lies saying his dad was a great musician when really he's just in jail." He explained. "Can I make out with you?"
"Not until after the competition. There's a kiss in our future but I end up dumping you when you stand me up." I responded. "Oh and you're gonna become friends with a blonde chick that claims to be reformed."
With that the scene ended. I took the hat and wig and smiled. So far it was going good. I'm pretty sure, having actually seen the movie helped me out there.
Some of the other sketches were rougher but I don't think that I completely tanked. The cast helped me out some but I didn't have anymore unexpected kisses.
While I was preparing for my first song, I noticed Abby was talking on the phone. She hung up and smiled.
"What are you so happy about?" I asked.
"I just got offered a movie role." She answered. "It's not anything big but I've never been in a movie before."
"That's great congrats." I said as I took the stage and began to sing.
Creation shows me what to do
I'm doing on the floor with you
And when you touch my hand
I go crazy yeah'
The music tells me what to feel
I like it now but is it real?
The time we say goodnight
I'll know if this is right
And I feel you running through my veins
Am I into you? Or is the music to blame?
Who owns my heart?
Is it love or is it art?
Cause the way you've got body moving
Got me confused and I can't tell if it's the beat or sparks
Who owns my heart?
Is it love or is it art?
You know I wanna believe that we're a masterpiece
But sometimes it's hard to tell in the dark
Who owns my heart?
The room is full but all I see is
The way your eyes just blaze through me
Like fire in the dark
We're like living art
Then it hits me like a tidal wave
Are you feeling me or is the music to blame?
Chorus
So come on baby keep provoking me
Keep on roping me like a rodeo
Baby pull me close come on here we go
Here we go, here we go
Chorus
So during one of the commercial breaks, I began to walk over towards my dressing when I noticed an open door. I looked inside and saw Vanessa with her TV on.
"Vanessa." I said. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah I am." She replied. "I finally stopped puking. Thanks so much for filling in for me. Oh and thanks for the Hannah concert too."
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you're trying to help my career." I joked.
"Well I think that you're making me sick." She quipped. "But I think you're doing great so far. I love how you did Sa5m. So did you see the movie?"
"I did." I answered. "So if you're feeling better, maybe you come on for the last skit."
"I don't know if I should do that." She said. "I kind of want to see you in it."
"I have an idea." I suggested. "Why don't we split the character into twins? You take half of the lines and I'll take half."
"I guess we could try it." She agreed. "Or maybe I could play a new character and just make up my lines as I go."
"That'll work too." I replied as I grabbed her hand and took her to wardrobe.
"Look who's done ralphing." I announced. Some people cheered.
The next sketch was a glee parody because it wasn't really done. What we decided was that Vanessa was going to play Rachel as planned and I was to appear as Quinn who wasn't originally the scene.
"I love you so much Finn" Vanessa said.
"I love you too Rachel." Jason, who was playing Finn, replied. "In fact I wanna sing about how much I love you."
I'm gonna take you by surprise
And make you realize, Amanda
I'm gonna tell you right away
I can't wait another day, Amanda
"My name isn't Amanda." She interrupted.
"Well I couldn't find a song called Rachel." He responded. "What about this one?"
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
"That song is about a kid who commits suicide in school." Vanessa remarked.
"Oh it is, I didn't know that." He said.
"Hey Finn." I purred as I walked over in the red cheerleading outfit with my hair tied in a ponytail. "Oh your with this now but what do you say we get back together."
"Hey I'm standing right here." Vanessa pointed out. "You can't just take my boyfriend from me while I'm standing here."
"Fine we'll have a sing-off and whoever Finn likes best wins him." I proposed.
'Fine." She agreed. "I'm gonna wipe the floor with you because I am a star."
"I'll go first." I said.
He Could Be the One
He Could Be the One
He Could Be the One
He Could Be the One
"I pick Quinn." Jason responded as I went over to his arms.
"But I didn't even get to sing." Vanessa babbled. "How could you pick her so fast?"
"It's even Quinn's the head cheerleader and you're an annoying theatre girl." He replied.
"But she cheated on you with your best friend and had his kid." She pointed out.
"Yeah but she apologized for that." He said. "I only broke up with in the first place because she got kicked off the cheerleading squad for being pregnant."
I stuck my tongue out at her as the rest of the cast came out as various Glee characters and sang
Quinn in the champion my friends
And she'll keep on fighting till the end
Quinn is the champion
Quinn is the champion
No time for Rachel
Cause Quinn is the champion
After the last commercial break, I thanked everybody and said my goodbyes and all that. I went back to my dressing room and logged onto Skype to talk to James.
"Hey." I said as I logged in. "Did you watch the show?"
"Yeah I did." James answered. "I didn't know you were going to be hosting."
"Yeah it was a last second thing." I responded as I smiled. It had been 2 weeks since I saw his face. "What did you think?"
"I actually thought it was the funniest episodes in a long time." He critiqued. "Were improving the whole time?"
"Yeah pretty much." I answered.
"That says something about the writers." He joked.
"So I really miss you." I stated as I noticed he frowned. "What?"
"Zoey, I don't know if I can keep doing this." He said. "I mean I'm here at college and you're going to be traveling the country for your tour. It's like we're living two separate lives."
"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked in shock.
"I know you have to have felt it too." He replied. "We're drifting apart."
"I love you." I said as I began to cry.
"I love you too." He told me. "But I don't think that it's going to be enough. I'm sorry that I can't be there to kiss you goodbye."
With that he logged off. I don't why but now I felt like I needed Max more than ever.
So I came up with this idea after watching Miley on SNL last night. This story takes place in Chapter 19. Basically in this story Beastly was released during Awards Season to try to win an Oscar. It is a play on what happened in chapter 13. It also features a fictionalized version of how Abby Elliot got her role in No Strings Attached (She has a minor role as a lesbian) And I included Zoey and James's breakup scene as well.