In honor of Pride month I've been writing a remake of an old femslash fanfic I started over ten years ago. and I decided to post what I have so far. Unfortunately there are so little novel length femslash fanfiction. I think we need more girl/girl love people.
All of Me
(&&&&&&&&&&&)
It was only a minute past eleven when Hermione had arrived at the Prefects compartment on the Express. The doors had only recently closed and the train was still building up speed. She was so early it seemed that the new Head Girl and Boy had yet to arrive and unlock the door. Hermione stood as patiently by the door as she could, eager for it to open so she could escape inside for just a moment longer.
Please let this be a long meeting... She prayed to no one in particular. Just give me a little more time before I have to see- She stopped mid thought as she saw several of her fellow prefects come down the corridor, a tall lanky red head among them. Ron actually did a double take when he saw her, the disbelief and surprise plain on his face.
"Hermione!" Her shouted, heedless of the now ringing ears of the students only inches away from him in the tightly packed corridor. He all but pushed people to the ground on his way to the front and without pausing, piked Hermione up in a fierce hug. She squealed in surprise, only remembering at the last second to hug him back as well. Its not that she wasn't happy to see him. She was over the moon to be back with her friends at Hogwarts. She was just dreading the question.
"Where were you all summer Hermione? Harry and Ginny and I tried to write you a hundred times." That question.
"That's a long story." She answered. Ron's smile disappeared with a frown.
"Is everything alright?" Hermione opened her mouth, though she had no idea what she was going to say, when she was saved by the arrival of this year Head Boy and Girl. Cho Chang, and Eddie Carmichael. Who both apologized for being late and quickly ushered everyone inside.
"Sorry for the lateness everyone." Cho said once more. "Terry and I had to finalize a few things before we talked to you all." Hermione looked around at all the Prefects in the room, two from each house from years Fifth through Seventh. Most of them she knew, though she was happily surprised to see Ginny sitting a few seats down from her, who sent her patented scowl, and next to her was Luna, who sent Hermione a brilliant smile, and even waved happily. The sheer oddness of seeing two people next to each other with such drastically different expressions made Hermione start to giggle. By the time she managed to contain herself, Cho was half way through her speech on the everyday duties of Prefects.
"- we need to take our responsibilities seriously people, as we have been given additional obligations this year." This caused Hermione to perk to attention, her giggles long gone.
"It has come to the faculties attention that inter-house rivalry and outright hostilities have grown to an unacceptable level. Especially with the war going on." At this point many people started talking among themselves, several ignoring Cho until Carmichael let out a loud Bang! with his wand, causing most everyone to jump.
"We need to work together!" Cho stressed. "Not just us Prefects, but the whole school. Hogwarts cannot stand divided."
"So-" She glanced down at Carmichael who nodded, then continued. "-to help promote inter-house unity and Hogwarts cohesion there will be another ball this year right before the Christmas Holidays, and another at the end of the year following end of the year exams."
"And what does this have to do with this Hogwarts unity rubbish?" Came the snide remark of Pansy Parkinson. Her tone more so even than her words indicating how silly and absurd she thought the idea was.
"Because you Prefects will be going, as in mandatory attendance, with dates from a different house than your own." Grumbling could quickly be heard from everyone.
"Surely you can't force something like that!" Ginny cried, while Cho simply shrugged her shoulders.
"I have to." She said. "It was Dumbledore's idea, and McGonagall's. And the other heads backed it as well. My hands are tied, and so are yours. All of us will be attending with a date from another house." Hermione instantly felt like jumping to her feet and shouting about the injustice of it all. How could their Professors force something like that on them? On me? But she knew inside it wasn't the house issue she was complaining about, it was the idea of being forced to find a date, any date she might actually want to go with. I doubt the school would happily accept anyone I would want to take...
"Furthermore." Cho coninuted. "To help ease everyone into such a notion, there will be another request of the Prefects this year." This quieted everyone down as they seemed poised for more outrage.
"For the entire year two days a week all Prefects must have meals at a different houses table. Two days at a single house per week, different houses each week. And you must have eaten at all four houses before you can choose the same house again." This last part she directed to Pansy specifically it seemed. The Slytherin simply glared openly at the Head Girl. "No going Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw." The reaction was about what one would expect as nearly every Prefect seemed to burst into questions and complaints the moment Cho finished. Only the Hufflepuff Prefects seemed relaxed about the whole ordeal.
"That-that concludes this meeting, any- any questions can be addressed after the welcoming feast. Please don't forget to patrol the train at least once, and remember it is your duty to escort the first years to your respective houses." Cho stammered in an effort to be heard, only getting a bit of control near the end of the clamor. As the Prefects began to leave, several more continued to shout out questions and demands. Ron and Ginny seemingly the loudest. It wasn't until another Bang issued from Carmichael's wand that even they quieted down. Hermione scampered as fast as she could to the door. Eager to escape her friends who she noticed were now coming straight for her. She had almost made it too before she collided with another person, knocking herself back several paces. She took a moment to recover before looking up into the eyes of Draco Malfoy, who stared at her with a simple look of boredom.
"Careful Granger." He said, and yet his tone was so neutral and...well simply not like the usual condescending scathing drawl that was Malfoy, that Hermione stood dumbstruck for a moment while Malfoy stepped beside her and left the compartment. Shaking herself a bit Hermione only realized her plan to escape early was ruined when a hand clasped her on the shoulder.
"Hermione! What happened to you?" It was Ginny that asked her this time. Though Ron stood frowning behind her. With Luna beside him a small hesitant smile on her face, Hermione noticed she wore earrings with some sort of fruit dangling from them. Magical miniature fruit bats seemed to be circling her earrings and occasionally landing on them.
"Well I was just-"
"Trying to sneak away before we caught you?" Ginny said plainly. Hermione ducked her head as her cheeks turned pink.
"O-Only until the welcoming feast..." She admitted. "I-I don't know what to tell you." Ginny and Luna, perhaps hearing the slight fear in her voice both frowned. While Ginny actually reached forward and gave her a hug.
"Hermione you can tell us, we're just worried about you. There's a war on, and our favorite muggleborn disappeared." Hermione frowned, she hadn't thought they would attribute her silence to something Voldemort had done. She knew they would be worried, but she never knew to what extent. She felt guilt eating through her resolve. She took a deep breath, summoning up some of that same Gryffindor courage that made her face off against Death Eaters last June.
"Lets go find Harry and I'll explain." Ron and Ginny nodded before heading out down the train. Luna stepped forward with a frown still on her face.
"Would you like me to join you all later? I don't wish to intrude if this is a private matter between friends." Hermione shook her head frantically.
"No! of course not Luna, anyone who stands beside me against a bunch of Death Eaters is a dear friend in my book. Y-you should hear it too." The smile Luna had on her face seemed bright enough to outshine her namesake. The two quickly met up with Ron and Ginny who had found Harry and Neville sitting alone in their own a compartment. Harry had an opened book laying face down on the seat next to him, while Neville still had one in his hand.
"Finally!" Harry proclaimed. "We were so bored we started to read out textbooks."
"Rough time mate." Ron said causing everyone to laugh.
"How have you been Hermione?" Harry asked. "We were all-"
"-worried about me, I know."
"It's just we didn't hear a thing from you all summer. No letters...nothing. And you never replied to any of ours." Hermione nodded, feeling the guilt at making her friends worry once more.
"Yes, why don't we all sit down and I'll explain." She waited until they did so, but Hermione remained standing. her hands started to ring themselves nervously about her sweater. "You see after the Ministry last year, after I was cursed I...well I guess I spent some time reevaluating my life. I guess almost dying makes you think about things. Who I am, and who I want to be..." Hermione then started to pace.
"And that's when I started to admit something to myself, something I only suspected in third year, but never really confirmed until fourth year. Last year was me trying to hide it maybe? One last chance to fight as I come to term with it all? I don't know...but that curse made me stop and think and well then something else happened over the summer...I met someone." Harry and Luna grinned, while Ginny and Ron seemed to sit up in their seats. Neville looked merely interested.
"Oh! Really? Tell us about him!" Ginny nearly squealed. Hermione smiled at her softly.
"Well they were really sweet the entire time, they were a muggle tourist staying in London for the summer, we met at the zoo and had coffee while I explained some information about the migratory habits of brown pelicans...well that's not important, we simply clicked and decided to meet up for coffee again, and then for lunch, and then they wanted to take me to a concert, and then afterward she kissed me..." Hermione dared to look at her friends, a mixture of shock and confusion on their faces. "Her name is Gwen, and well we had a very enjoyable summer fling." Ginny seemed ready to say something but Hermione ignored her and continued her story.
"After that well, I simply didn't want to lie anymore, to anyone, especially myself. So late July I decided to tell my parents, Gwen was heading back home soon, and we had already said our goodbyes, but I was very nervous about telling my parents, I mean how would they-"
"Hermione what the bloody hell are you talking about?!" Ron exclaimed impatiently. Hermione swallowed the rest of her nerves.
"That I'm gay." she said with barely a quiver of hesitation in her voice. Her eyes resting upon some enchanting spot on the floor between her shoes.
"What!" Harry, Neville, and Luna said simultaneously while Ron cursed and Ginny started to laugh.
"I-I'm sorry." She said sheepishly when everyone turned to look at her. "So y-you hehehehe-like girls?" She managed to say, a large awkward grin on her face. Hermione nodded.
"Like in a sexy way?" Hermione nodded again, though now her cheeks were stained red.
"But that can't be true!" Ron protested. "You were dating Krum forth year!" Hermione nodded once more, though now with a sigh.
"What do you think it was that finalized it for me? An internationally famous professional Quidditch star was interested in me. A young, talented, foreign wizard, thought to be one of the best Seekers in the world wanted to snog me, and I only wanted to back to reading my potions textbook." Everyone laughed.
"Quite the convincing evidence." The Ravenclaw said with a soft smile towards Hermione.
"But...but..."Ron stammered stubbornly. "What about...about...Lockhart! Yeah you were gaga over him back in second year!" He managed to say after a moment, a finger now pointed tirumphantly at her. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Yes because he's a great example. I was barely thirteen Ron, and it was Lockhart! he had more hair care products than Pansy Parkinson, and if his Luscious blonde locks were any longer he could pass for Luna!" That one had the girls laughing at least, as Hermione looked shyly around at them all.
"You- you all don't mind do you...I mean...I don't disgust you at all?"
"No!" came several voices at once. Hermione looked at her friends.
"Harry?" she asked in a small voice.
"Well I mean, I've never met someone...ya know?" He said gesturing vaguely about the air. "And my aunt and uncle were always again it. Telling me and Dudley how wrong it was. Uncle Vernon used to complain loudly about poofs and all that." Harry missed when Hermione flinched. "But then again they always talk about wrong and unnatural magic is." Harry gave Hermione a small smile. "So what do they know eh? You're my best friend Hermione." She threw her arms around Harry hugging him tightly as she silently cried.
"Thank you Harry." She whispered into his ear. Separating she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her robes before turning to the others. "Guys?"
"Well it is a bit weird. "Ginny said with a frown. "But then again, none of us are normal. We're all a little strange." Ginny then shrugged in an what-ya-gonna-do style expression. Hermione hugged Ginny too, even if deep down she was hoping for a tad more acceptance from her best female friend.
"Ron?" She asked turning to look his way. His face stretched out and frowning as he seemed to struggle with something fiercely.
"Well it's just...I dunno. If that's what you want and makes you happy, then I guess that's alright...but wont it be difficult you know to marry a bloke?"
"Well yes of course...but first of all what are you talking about?!" Hermione she nearly screeched in confusion.
"Well I mean if you want kids obviously you'll need to get with a wizard and get married and all that. I mean wont it be hard to get with a guy if he knows you don't really wanna, you know?"
"Ron..."Hermione trying to work through his strange logic. "If I wanted to get married, I wouldn't marry a man, I'd want to marry a woman." The phrase seemed very odd to say aloud, but Hermione felt happy that she could say it.
"But what about kids and stuff?"
"I don't know Ronald! I haven't thought that far ahead, Adoption maybe?" Ron seemed more confused than ever.
"But then...you can't even marry a bird, and so you'd have kids but not be married, or would you...wait can you even-"
"-I don't know Ron!I don't have answers for all that! I just want to make sure you don't hate me for liking girls Dammit!" Everyone looked at Hermione in surprise.
"Oh." Ron said, then he shook his head. "Well I can't say its not a surprise, I mean I always though that you and I- well never mind." Ron looked at Hermione again, shaking his head. "You're my friend Hermione. I wouldn't have made it pass my third year exams without you, not to mention Harry and I would have been dead three times over without your brains. and hell Hermione, I don't care about all that. Well as long as you're not gonna start snogging my sister and all that." Ron finished with a smile. Hermione shook her head at the idiot but gave him a hug none the less, and a small kiss on the cheek. "For all you lost, I'll never stop being your friend Ronald Weasley." She then stepped back and look at the last two.
"Luna? Neville?" Hermione said with a sniffle as she wiped away a few more tears. The Ravenclaw seemed to hesitate for a moment looking apprehensive, before she took a deep breath and smiled up at her.
"I think Hermione is quite perfect just the way she is." Hermione took her hand and pulled the girl into a hug. Luna let out a grunt as Hermione squeezed her rather tightly.
"Thank you Luna." Hermione let the girl go and turned to Neville, but before she could say a think Neville shook his head.
"You were my first friend Hermione, the only one not to think I'm a squib. Who am I to say a word against you other than, thank you for being you?" Hermione started to openly cry at this point, until Ginny, Ron, and Harry all reached forward and enveloped her in a massive group hug.
"Thank you guys, you don't-you don't know-how-how much..." Her sentence disappeared as she pressed her face into Ron's shoulder and let herself cry, her fears ever since stepping into King's Cross Station disappearing in a wave of relief and exhaustion, like a badly prepared pepper-up potion.
"Hermione? I'm happy you told us what was going on with you...but well, why did you go radio silent on us?" Harry asked after Hermione pulled herself off of Ron. Ginny and Ron looked at each other in confusion and Hermione saw the two of them mouthing the words Radio silent to each other.
"Well...well I did get around to telling my parents about Gwen...and...and they didn't take it very well."
That is not how we raised you Hermione.
It's unnatural, it's wrong.
Disgusting...is this normal behavior for magical people?
Did they teach you to be this way?
"What happened?" Ginny asked, looking concerned. Hermione tried to shrug nonchalantly, but the effect was failed when a fresh wave of tears came.
"They kicked me out...at least until I've gotten over this unnatural phase I'm going through."
"They kicked you out of your home...but where did you go?" Neville asked.
"London...Diagon Alley. I-I don't live that far and so I just...kind of walked there."
"You WALKED to Diagon Alley!?" Harry burst out. "Why-why didn't you use the Knight's bus at least? Why didn't you come to the Burrow?" Hermione stared at Harry, she opened her mouth once, twice. But nothing came out.
"I-I don't know. I wasn't sure what you all would think, what if you thought like my parents did?...I have no idea how the Wizarding world thinks about...about people like me, and I knew your aunt and uncle wouldn't let me in for any reason Harry...where else was I supposed to go?" No one seemed to have an answer to that.
(&&&&&&&&)
It was the oddest train ride Draco could ever remember in his life at Hogwarts. Normally he would be surrounded by his fellow Slytherin's gossiping about the other students, sharing summer stories, and complaints about the coming term. But since the events of this last summer it seems he had become an outcast as every Slytherin owned compartment denied him space. About what I expected to be honest. He thought as he huddled up in a near empty Ravenclaw section of the train, keeping as much space between himself and the oddly quiet third years. Can't have my luck rub off on them after all. the thought made him laugh aloud, to the strange looks of his small audience. Afterwards Draco felt nostalgic for the summer, and now somewhat nervous.
He pulled the letter she had gave him before he left out of his pocket. It was light, made from that strange muggle paper, and not from the parchment he was used to. he tore open the strange little seal that kept it shut. The letter was written in her messy scrawl, which he had to squint to read. He had to make sure to let her know just how bad her handwriting was when he sent his reply.
Thought I would have let you go without a letter did you Draco? Hmm…well where's the fun in that? I'll make this short, because I don't know what to say. Just want to wish you a good term, and to let you know I'm going to be hopelessly bored with out you. Remember what we talked about, and damn those who don't matter.
Don't do anything too stupid, take care of yourself and send me a letter every now and then alright? yours, -C
Draco put the letter away after he had finished reading it. He felt a smile on his face, and felt some of the nerves he was feeling about the upcoming term melt away. Not that he would ever admit such a thing, even at wand point.
As the train pulled into Hogsmeade station, Draco stood and followed the crowds off the train oddly happy with the Ravenclaws, thanks to their choice to leave him along in his silence. He moved through the mass towards the Threstral drawn carriages, horses he could unfortunately see just fine now. They were grotesque creatures and he felt somewhat ill just looking at them. Their solid appearance also a reminded of his dreadful summer, the thoughts of which caused a cold sweat to cover his neck and back. Joining a group of what looked to be sixth and fifth years arguing over how best to separate into the carriages, Draco simply slipped into the first one he could find.
I literally don't care who joins me as long as they aren't a Slytherin...He thought before the door opened and none other than Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, and Luna Lovegood climbed in. Dammit, perhaps I didn't think this through... He thought with a groan.
"Lost Malfoy?" The redhead spat at him, her eyes full of distaste. He was about to send a scathing retort back but Her voice stopped him. And all those awkward conversations he had with her, and her father of course. I can't forget those gems now can I? And so he swallowed said retort and framed a more proper response.
"Hello." he said, trying to make it sounds as normal as possible. The look of confusion on their faces made it obvious they thought he was insane. "Hello...Granger, Weasley, Lovegood." He tried again, nodding to each of them in turn. Now he felt like smacking himself saying such a thing. He felt like an utter fool.
"Don't mind me, I'm just going to...sit here...silently." You pathetic moron. "I simply didn't want to sit by my housemates, It's a short ride to the castle though, so this won't take long." Be respectful? I sound like a prat. Excellent.
"Who confunded Malfoy? Because I owe them money. It's almost like you're not a complete waste of s-"
"-Ginny quiet!" Granger scolded. "If Malfoy wants to be civil and sit in silence, I say lets be respectful and oblige him."
"Oh bloody hell Granger..."
"What was that Malfoy?" Granger asked with well feigned politeness. Draco scowled at her.
"You just had to be the bigger person didn't you? Couldn't even give me one day to get situated? No you just had to force this now didn't you?"
"What happened to this being a quiet ride?" Lovegood asked the passing trees as they moved up the path to Hogwarts.
"I'm sorry alright?" He all but barked out, stopping Granger from saying something. The two Gryffindors looked at him in shock. The Ravenclaw simply continued to look out the window with a dreamy look on her face.
"What?!"
"I'm sorry for my father's actions last June. I heard about what happened at the Ministry, and I wanted to apologize to all three of you for the actions of a member of my family. Especially since you wont be getting one from him ever."
"Y-you're apologizing for your father being a Death Eater?" Granger asked bewildered.
"That is more or less the case." Draco said. "I simply wanted to clear the air, as it were."
"Why?" Granger asked simply. Draco shrugged.
"A promise I made someone to try harder." he said, causing Granger to look at him with that same look of confusion.
"How is this possible?!" The Weasley shouted. "I half expected you to be here in your brand new freshly ironed Death Eater robes."
"Lets just say it was an eye opening summer Red. And McGonagall would not approve of me altering my uniform in such a way." Draco was really hoping the conversation would end. he wanted to tell them all to...Fuck off and mind their own business. But he knew that would go wrong, so he simply held his irritation in check. Cecelia's voice rang in his head some more. But it did little to calm him down.
Thankfully no one said anything after that, well nothing meaningful at least. The Lovegood girl mentioned something about Klixsprats or some such nonsense, but even Granger seemed to roll her eyes at that. So Draco left it alone. He parted ways with the girls at the entrance to the Castle with a civil nod from him and three looks of confusion from them, cursing himself for his vow to make up for past mistakes.
It seemed quite fitting he thought the he was immediately pulled out of the throng and into an empty classroom as soon as he rounded the first corner. Greg, Vincent, Theo, and Blaise greeted him with scathing looks as he turned around. No good deed and all that...
"Well if it isn't the fucking blood traitor." Vincent spat looking at him like he was literal trash. "My father said you wouldn't be so stupid as to come back to Hogwarts after the way you ran."
"Well Vince, your father is an absolute moron. And that fact the he can string a sentence together out of those monstrous lips full of no doubt troll and giant blood, is a miracle." Vincent slammed one meaty fist into Draco's stomach, knocking the wind out of him.
"Say that again!" He snarled.
"Y-your mother is the cheapest whore in London, at least according to my father." Vincent reached forward and grabbed Draco by the front of his robes, dragging him closer into the large Slytherin until they were nearly close enough to kiss.
"You stupid mother-" He stopped when he felt the tip of Draco's wand pressed against his throat.
"Stupify." Draco said loudly, his stunner exploding point blank against Crabbe's jaw. The boy crumbled to the ground like a broken doll. Draco had a quick moment to feel satisfaction at the sight before the room was lit up with color of half a dozen curses flying towards him.
The room quickly went dark after several sharp stabs of pain.