"We'll go head to toe," Eli suggested, turning to straighten out the quilt on top of his twin bed.

I nodded slightly and climbed onto the bed. I lay as straight as possible with my left side pushed up against the wall. Eli climbed up beside me but I kept her focus on the ceiling where a sticker of a naked girl had been stuck.

"See, there's lots of room." Eli must have followed my gaze because he hastily added,

"That was there when I moved in… People aren't supposed to put things in the dorms permanently but yeah…"

I nodded again and pulled at the strings on Eli's New York hoodie until they were even. When I looked up, Eli was smiling at me. "What?"

"You still like everything to be perfect, I see." His statement was followed by a smirk. Eli looked at his grey socks and frowned. "Please tell me my feet don't smell."

A nervous laugh choked its way out of me and I shook my head. He sunk down into the mattress with relief.

We lied still for a few minutes and I was glad the window was slightly ajar so the room didn't feel quite so dead. I rubbed my feet together. The wool of Eli's socks kept them warm and sheltered from Eli's hair, which stuck out from all angles of his head. The humidity of New York must have done something to it because it was completely different from the sleek, signature black when I met him.

Eli coughed and I jumped a bit. I could practically hear the smirk on his face. "Truth or truth?"

"Isn't there supposed to be a second option?" I asked, not totally comfortable with actually talking to Eli. The last I had really heard from him was from a voicemail he had left for me and the stench of alcohol pretty much oozed out of my phone.

"Dare entitles getting up and I don't think I'm ready to commit to movement right now," he replied with ease.

"Okay, well… truth." I figured any form of noise was better than just the draught leaking in from the window on his roommate's side of the small room.

"Boxers of briefs?"

I giggled slightly. I had could not have imagined myself ever wearing Eli's boxers again since the summer. I smiled, remembering the other time I had worn them. Adam and I had both borrowed some after spontaneously deciding to run through Cece's sprinkler last June. "Briefs."

Eli seemed pleased and tapped me with his foot when I didn't immediately ask him.

I sighed dramatically. "Okay, truth or truth?"

He pretended to weigh his options before he uttered, "Truth."

"What's something your past self did that embarrasses you today?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "Whoa Edwards, getting a little deep."

I bit my lip nervously.

"Nah," he said and I relaxed. "I guess it would have to be the eyeliner."

I couldn't prevent the grid that reached across my face. "You know, Alli borrowed it once," I shared.

He sat up immediately. "What? When?"

I laughed at how concerned his face was as I recalled the memory. "We had just started, um, dating," I stopped, not sure if I should really be drudging up the past but he looked genuinely interested so I continued, "I was carrying your pencil case for some reason one morning and Alli came flying into the school – she was late. She was putting on lip gloss and asked me if I had any eyeliner but I'm not really the type to keep make-up in my locker and when I looked down and saw your case I was curious. When I opened it, I found it on top and just handed it to Alli."

I thought Eli might be mad but when I finished telling the story I looked up at him and a loud chuckle slipped past his lips.

He sighed happily and returned the question, "What about you? What's something Clare Bear did that embarrasses you now?"

I stuck out my tongue at the nickname. A moment popped into my head immediately but I didn't want to tell it but Eli noticed my hesitation and squinted his eyes at me knowingly.

I looked down at my lap and mumbled, "I got caught with a vibrator in class one."

Eli's jaw drooped and he widened his eyes, urging me to elaborate.

"Well… Alli and I were snooping in Simpson's bedroom and –"

Eli cut me off with a shocked, "Simpson!"

"Connor lives with him…" I muttered. "Anyway, somehow it ended up in my bag and it started in class and Mr. Perino thought it was a phone and pulled it out of my bag and that's why I'm still too embarrassed to even speak in any of his classes."

Eli's laughter just got louder and he managed to sputter, "Priceless," between laughs.

"Truth or truth?" I asked, hoping to take the attention away from me.

"I think we understand that there's only one option by this point." His eyes were still lit up from my story,

"Okay," I said. I took a deep breath; the question I really wanted to ask wasn't the most appropriate in our current situation but I needed Eli's answer. "What do you m-miss most about Adam?"

"Oh." Eli's face was wiped of any humor. "I don't know. Everything. He was my only real guy friend. I could talk to him about anything and he would help me make rational choices. I just would give anything to have him back, y'know?"

I nodded; glad I'd asked the question.

I figured Eli would reciprocate the question but instead he asked, "What colour was the vibrator?"

He still looked sad but I could tell he wanted to lighten the mood. "Purple," I replied curtly.

Eli pulled his laptop onto the bed as I thought of my next question and started to play some background music. The room finally didn't feel so heavy. His feet danced slightly to the tune and I took a chance and yanked off one of his socks. He started to yell something at me but stopped to watch as I threw it across the room. "I'm still not getting up," he mumbled and picked up a rubber ball to toss at me but it hit the wall and slid down the crack below the bed.

"What song is this?" I asked.

"Is that your question for this round?"

"Guess so."

Eli glanced at his playlist and muttered, "Uh… Sex."

I was startled slightly and the room was heavy with awkwardness again. "O-oh," I stuttered.

"By the 1975," he added, a bit too late. He looked at his barefoot and quickly asked, "Truth or truth?"

"I thought we understood that there aren't options," I said, imitating him.

He smiled which made me glad and the air seemed to clear a bit. He nodded and asked, "Pepsi or Coke?"

I was confused but replied, "Pepsi."

"Good," he said, "Because I wanted the last coke." He rolled off the bed and crossed to his roommate's side where a mini fridge buzzed quietly under the other bed. He pulled the cans out and crawled back on the bed. He rolled the Pepsi across the mattress to me. I noticed he never picked up his sock, which was sprawled by the leg of the other bed.

The small room fell silent again but this time it was comfortable. I studied Eli's roommate's side of the room. It was filled with quirky movie posters advertising director's totally unfamiliar to me and there was an impressive array of alcohol on the shelf above his desk. "I thought your roommate was supposed to come home tonight?" I asked.

Eli glanced at his roommate's bed. "Oh… well J.J. met this girl when we were working on my new short today," he said with a shrug, "They might have hit it off."

I looked back at Eli who was still staring at J.J.'s side of the room. He looked tired. We had once decided that it was easy to tell when the other person was exhausted after working on something we were passionate about. It was a good tired. "What's it about?"

Eli's eyes turned back to me slowly. "Hmm?"

"Your short?"

"Oh, yeah, that," he sputtered. "It's about love – or it was until Lenore made me change it."

My smile faded when I heard her name. It's not that I was jealous but it had just felt like we were the only two people in the world for the last hour.

Eli must have noticed the change in my expression. "We're not dating, just so you know."

I tried to lift the corners of my mouth so I wouldn't look so miserable.

"Not that it matters anyway," Eli went on, "How's Drew?"

My eyebrows knotted in confusion. I had almost forgotten that stupid couch in that ridiculous prop room. "Oh, we're not…"

Eli's head perked up. "You're not."

I just shook my head.

We faded into a comfortable silence. I wondered if I should move into the empty bed, as it seemed J.J. wouldn't be making an entrance anytime soon. Eli brought me from my thought with a nudge of his barefoot. I pushed back slightly with my shoulder.

"Clare Edwards," Eli said lightly, "I am not over you."