A/N: I was going through some pictures on deviantart and this angsty one-shot sort of happened. The lyrics near the end in italics are from Remembering Sunday by All Time Low, and the lyrics at the top are from The Memory by Mayday Parade.

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or anything else of sorts.

This made me really sad after I wrote it. And now that I wrote it, I don't know what to do with it. Asdfghjkl;

Anyway, enjoy this little bit of angst.

-Take my heart as you're leaving; I don't need it anymore.-

Hey. I'm Courtney. The girl everyone hates. The one absolutely no one can stand. Not that I blame any of them. No. Honestly, I have no one to blame but myself

I don't think anyone can hate me as much as I hate myself.

Everywhere I go I see everyone in love and happy.

I was like that once.

Behind all the arguments and fights and yelling, I loved it. Every fucking minute of it.

I messed it up though. Some people may perceive it as his fault, being he cheated, but, as aforementioned; I have no one to blame but myself. If I were him, I would have done the same.

I am nothing. Not anymore. I see my faults in this. All too well, actually. But I can't help but wonder…

Where was your breaking point?

You told me that I wasn't another number… What that a lie?

There's so many unanswered questions and the scares me to a point where I can barely function. But, I can just walk around here with this fake fucking smile plastered on my face and act like I am not breaking. Act like I am stronger than letting some boy break me.

Now, I am terribly lonely. I see everyone in love and happy. And here I am. All alone. It all feels a little bittersweet.

Everyone always told me to be myself. And that people would like you if you be yourself. But that is not true.
What if 'yourself' is an awful person? It's not that I didn't want to change; believe me, I did more than anything.

Being alone, I can handle. It's being lonely that really gets me.

It'll be okay.

I'm over you now; I'm at home in the clouds and towering over your head.

Don't worry your pretty little head about me.

I have no one to blame but myself.