"...what?"
"Did I stutter?" he pauses leveling his eyes at me. "I love you."
He says again, the same level certainty in his tone. His coffee and cream eyes stay fixed on me.
Locking me in place.
Jesus Tweek, why do you have to say it like that.
"Haaah..." I say lamely, cringing internally.
I hurriedly clear my throat and try again. "I mean uhh... that's... I uhm, thanks..."
I stare at my feet.
"I don't know what you want me to say..." I finish softly.
"Well," he starts
"I think it's pretty obvious what anyone would want you to say... but I... I just wanted to say it."
He fidgets.
"Well, I'm gonna go then."
He turns to leave and I grab his arm.
"Tweek..."
He turns toward me.
"Yes Craig?"
I swallow nervously.
"I... are we still friends?" I blurt, feeling stupid.
He smiles wistfully.
"Of course."
He makes to leave again but I don't let go of his arm.
I can't.
How can I let him walk away now?
Just fucking say it.
We stand like that for a while, in silence. Me gripping his arm unable to meet those eyes of his, him half turned to leave.
Finally; "Craig?"
I flinch.
"Do you think you could let go of me now?"
"Uh yeah... Tweek?"
"Yes, Craig?"
"I'm sorry..."
He sighs. "It's fine Craig. Really. I've felt this way a while. The only thing that's changed is you know now."
We stand in silence again.
He sighs again. "It's getting late, and I'm kind of tired. I just wanna go home Craig," his voice sounds defeated, strained, as if he's holding back tears.
Damn it Tweek...
"You can stay over." I say, finally meeting his eyes.
I can see the hope arise in them momentarily only to be extinguished quickly, replaced by distance.
No, Tweek... please, don't do that...
He averts his eyes, shoulders slumping resignedly.
"No, that's okay. I'm just gonna go home." He turns his eyes to me again, his lips forcing a smile that doesn't match his wounded eyes.
"Tweek, stay over." I beg, almost in a whisper.
My eyes search his face but its blank. Unable to pretend that he doesn't hurt any longer. He stares at the ground.
"Please, let go." He whispers turning away from me.
"Tweek stay over." I repeat, tugging on his arm and stepping closer to wrap him in my arms.
"Tweek, I'm sorry, don't go. Please don't go." I beg desperately.
He's crying now, I can feel tears his soaking through my shirt. He lets out a sob.
"Just... just let me go home." He stands there limply in my arms.
Goddamn it Tweek.
I pull back and tilt his chin up forcing him to look at me. He stares at me through pained, tearstained eyes.
I lean in and meet his lips.
When we break apart he smiles sheepishly.
"Thanks Craig," he says, blushing and wiping at his eyes "You didn't have to do that, it's really okay, I just–
I cut him off pulling him into another kiss, pushing deeper this time, hooking an arm around his waist and pulling him even closer. He rests his arms against my chest, sinking into the kiss.
When we finally break apart I keep my arms wrapped around him. Realization flickers through his eyes and they widen in revelation.
"Craig?" he asks, his voice small, hopeful.
I have trouble meeting those eyes. I hug him tight instead.
"I... I love you too." I whisper in his ear. "So please don't go."