A/N: I'm back! :D

Ah man, I thought this story was a masterpiece when I first wrote it...no way in hell! XD

The original chapter was WAY too angsty, and I wish people called me out on it lol. But there are a lot of much needed edits in this and I more than encourage you to check out my second chapter. It's written a bit safely, but I do like the contrast in tone between this and the next chapter.

But I decided not to take it down because it does have a couple of favorites, and if you muscle your way though this chapter, the next chapter will be a lot better.

It's been about 2 years since I broke up with Wendy and nothing much has really changed. I mean except for a few things, but needless to say that they don't effect me nearly as much as they used to is being my break up with Wendy. I'm not gonna get into too many details behind that because I already thought of them too many times, and bringing them up again would just be another waste of time. Besides, who needs her anyway, I always thought she was a bit of a bitch anyway.

Alright, I'll bring up a few of the details just for old times sake. I remember the day of the break up like it was yesterday. It was two weeks before the freshman homecoming dance and we (me and Wendy of course) we're taking about going. I actually was quite happy at the time; tight friends, good grades, dope family life (believe it or not), and the girl factor was going strong at the time. Yes, life was pretty good.

But I just remember it clear as day when she broke up with me. I remember it almost too well. We were actually in the court yard after school. The date was somewhere between the 10th-15th of October, and there was a cool autumn breed in the air. I feel the chills running through my legs just thinking about it. Anyway, I remember her sending me a text before last period saying "Stan, we need to talk after school. Meet me right after the bell in the court yard". I just remember replying asking if she was alright but her not answering. So I took a bathroom break in the middle of class just so I could check on her without getting caught. I saw that she hasn't replied at all and figured that she was in low spirits, so a simple "I love you" text I sent to her would do the trick (but of course she doesn't reply).

After her not responding after a few minutes, I decide to head back to class and wait for the bell. And right when the bell struck, I just bolted out of my class and immediately arrived at the court yard. I waited there for probably 5 minutes until she showed up in her pink coat and black tights and red eyes.

"Hey babe," I started cautiously, trying not to startle her.

"...I-I have to tell you.." she starts, and then cuts herself off by taking in a huge breath, and restarting herself.

"Listen, I'm really not too good at this as you can tell-"

"At what?" I swiftly interrupt.

"Just let me talk...Alright, we've known each other for a long, long time. And we known each other since we were practically babies. Hell you can even say that we have been dating since we were babies," she slightly giggles, but she has to pause for a moment to take another breath before she can start talking again.

"But Stan, I'm breaking up with you."

"...why?" I asked, no that's not right. It was more I guess, "whimpered" you can say. Because that's all I could think for a response. At that point, it felt like if Wendy took a baseball bat and repeatedly shadered it into a billion pieces.

It's like, have you ever seen the ending of Marley and Me where they put down the dog at the end? Or that one scene where Forrest Gump mom dies or that finale scene in Armageddon where Bruce Willis's character sacrifices himself for the survival of humanity. And even though Earth is saved and the main conflict in the film was resolved, you can't help but feel so sad after losing someone who you got used to and connected with over a certain period of time. But yet in all these sad moments, you just tell yourself "it's just a movie" or "it's all pretend" or "it's not real".

Well, this was.

But God, I wished it was. At the time I wished that I could just wake up the next morning like it was all just a bad dream and I didn't have to ever go through any of those events. But here I was, standing there in my loose blue flannel and my dopey giants beanie wondering what the hell was going to happen next.

"Because Stan, I'm just not happy with you anymore. We don't really text, we don't really hang out anymore, and we barley even kiss. It's like you are just drifting further and further away and there is no way I could keep you from doing so."

"...but, isn't there a way we could at least like, talk this out or something?" I asked as a desperate attempt to win her over.

"No, you blew your chance."

"WELL, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPISED TO DO NOW. I CANT REALLY-" I stopped right when she starting to walk off.

"Hey come on, Wendy, don't be shot. Come on," I tried to call her back, but she kept walking away. I tried to follow her inside, Bebe was standing right there in my path.

"Don't," she said sternly, staring me down.

From there, I cannot stress to you the amount of emotions going through by head. It's honestly like if I busted a fuse in my head and everything I was busted out of it. I was in a bit of a shock, I wish I could put it into words. If I could summon all my intellect that has been stored over the years from film and literature and capture every feeling I felt at that moment. But it's all for nothing if you can't use it to help you.

I can't tell you the amount of pain I felt that day that Wendy broke up with me.

There is not one combination of words I have for anyone, that I could put together to properly express my feelings.

I could simply tell you that I was heartbroken, but I feel like that's an understatement. It's more like my mind was blasted out of my skull and my heart gave out.

I could even tell you how I'm completely over her and that there is no use of worrying about these silly mundane happenings.

But when I look back at all of these events, when I look at all the commotion and drama, after all of the arguments, fights, tears, anxiety, depression, loneliness, Friendlessnes, sadness, grief, and pain I went through, it's all because I was too damn negative and selfish to realize that I mattered to the people around me.

Things could of gone a lot better if I actually could of expressed to people how I felt instead of blocking them off or exploding on them. I wish I could of kept the friends I had to keep me company instead of turning into a giant douche and being stuck in my own negative emotions. And I have a lot of confidence in giving you this advice because when you start opening up and letting your emotions out, it can work wonders.

Like I remember recconecting with Butters a couple weeks ago and telling him all the drama I went through. Now not only I'm friends with him again, but I'm also friends with Craig and Token. Hell that's three more than I had before. Plus, they even invited me to go to a party next week. I haven't felt this great in years!

...But not too great right now, not by a long shot.