Open your eyes!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything... if I did... GA would be shown on Showtime and there would be no spin off.. Or I would have Justin Chambers and some others go with her… seriously!

This is the sequel to "The world spins madly on" so in case you didn't read that one.. I think you should, ´cause otherwise this story here doesn't really make sense ;)

Few weeks ago I was watching the Oprah interview again... and I again cheered when Kate said "But I really like that Dr. Karev" awww… but now... grrrrr… it wont happen... or will it?

Seriously I am still pissed about "desire" I mean how can you be totally happy and then after a few minutes… you are depressed as hell and need to buy new shoes (Shonda I paid like 30 $ for the them… maybe you can pay me back.. after all its your fault) and then I had to eat fast food because I was still depressed… then I felt better for like 5 minutes… when I came back home.. it started to hit me again, … so I made very depressing Icons about Addison leaving and all that jazz…. Yeah.. as you can see I am still pretty much bitter how "desire" played out and I think a lot of people are with me on this, are you?

Alex stop being a jerk and grow some balls... seriously!!! Oh .. and a little more reaction to Addie being gone would have been nice!

Anyway. I still think AA make a pretty good couple and they are hot together…

Oh btw... how did you like the spin off? I loved it. It's good to see Addison / Kate having so much screen time... she really rocked those 1,5 hours. Okay the story was a bit lame .. but Addison really rocked my sucks. What do you think?

Thank you Claire for beta reading this part. I know it took me long to finally put it online, but hey.. better late than never, huh? ;) anyway thanks little sister.

And I also want to thank everyone who reviewed on the last story "The world spins madly on" you guys are amazing. Seriously. You wanted a sequel... you get it. I hope you´ll like it.

Okay on with the story before I write about 2 pages just for the A/N.

Open your eyes - Chapter 1

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.

I still feel your touch in my dreams.

Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why

Without you it's hard to survive.

It's been six month since she had left Seattle, since he found the letter with his name on it sitting on the pillow on her side of the bed. It's been half a year since he read the words which had broken his heart into one million pieces. And it's even been that long since the last time he smiled.

Those last 6 months had been hell. At first Alex was in denial, avoiding the topic of Addison's departure. He didn't talk about it and he tried his best not to think about it. He failed miserably. Not a single day went by without him thinking of her constantly. She was on his mind, in his heart; in his head… she was inside of him.

He had tried to move on... he had tried to date... but whenever he was with a woman, whenever they wanted to hit it off and go to his apartment, he just smiled at them sadly, shook his head and left the bar.

He couldn't move on... he couldn't forget her… he just couldn't get her out of his mind.

Alex hadn't heard from her… not once. He had wanted to call her, had needed to hear her voice, but whenever he dialled the first numbers he freaked out and hung up. What would he say anyway?

His sadness eventually turned into bitterness after awhile, and he had been nothing but bitchy and arrogant for the past two months.

Of course that didn't go unnoticed by his fellow co workers. Meredith, Izzie and even George tried to talk to Alex but he couldn't tell them what was bothering him. They wouldn't understand and he didn't want to talk about it. It hurt so badly and all he wanted was to forget.

Alex was just going over some random charts, his mood resembling the weather outside, dark and twisted, when Izzie came up from behind.

"Hey there." She greeted and looked over his shoulder to read the chart he was holding in his hands.

"Hey." He mumbled back, acknowledging her presence but not really caring.

"Still in a bad mood huh? Listen… I can't help you if you don't tell me what's on your mind Alex."

"I don't want your help Izzie. Seriously… leave it be." He sprung around, a glint of fire appearing in his eyes.

"I really want to know what's the reason why you're so worked up… what's made you so… unpleasant." She looked at him "It's a woman, isn't it?"

"Gosh Izzie. Like I said... I don't need your help… and I don't care about my mood... if its bad… it's bad…"

"But we do care... and your patients care…you are scaring them Alex... and you are worrying us."

"Don't be ridiculous. I am not scaring anyone... I am treating them the same way as I always do. And you don't need to worry... I am FINE." He yelled the last part of the sentence and turned around.

"All right, all right, I get it…so you're fine…great…then be fine. Whatever…I don't care." Izzie pursed her lips and left him standing there.

Alex watched her go and rolled his eyes. Why couldn't they let him be?

xoxox

"His attitude is starting to get to me." Izzie whined, digging her fork into what's supposed to be meatballs but grimaced when the contents reached her mouth.

"I know… but we can't change it. I would just really like to know what's making him that miserable." Meredith answered looking at Izzie's face and pushing her own lunch tray away from her.

"Me too…I mean…seriously…he has been like that for a pretty long time now. I would understand if he is in a bad mood every now and then…but he's permanently grumpy. He isn't smiling…he isn't laughing…he isn't dating…gosh he isn't even screwing around." The blonde doctor's voice grew louder with each phrase.

"Yeah…isn't that weird, though? I mean...I heard the nurses talking and apparently Claire the new red haired nurse tried to seduce him, but didn't succeed."

"Wow…you mean that there seriously was a woman who couldn't get into his pants? That's a new one."

"Maybe he turned gay." Meredith chuckled

"Don't even joke about that." She had to grin "But something seriously must be up. He's never acted this weird before..."

"He first started acting weird about 6 months ago."

"Yeah…about that time well…what happened half a year ago?"

"Maybe the ferryboat incident?" Meredith asked

"No…that was before he started acting strange." She shook her head and her blonde curls which hang loosely around her face moved with her.

"Well…there was that big car accident which had a lot of victims…then the pregnant woman who lost her baby…Dr. Montgomery left…then we had the pregnant woman who lost her new born child…and…"

"Hold on a sec." Izzie cut her off "What did you just say?"

"The pregnant woman..."

"No…before that."

"Dr. Montgomery left."

"Oh my god." Izzies eyes widened "That's it…."

"What? You don't think that..."

"Of course Meredith…Addison's departure…that's the reason Alex is out of his mind." Izzie covered her mouth with her hands.

"But…I mean…sure…she was his boss…"

"Apparently she was a lot more than just his boss."

"You mean…?"

"Yep."

"Oh…"

"You can say that again…now…excuse me please…I have to talk to Alex." Izzie stood up, not bothering to put her tray away and left with quick steps in direction of the hospital.

xoxox

Alex was checking some blood results, deep in thought when Izzie ran up to him.

"We need to talk." She called out breathlessly

"No, we don't… Izzie, I told you to leave me alone."

"Oh shut up!"

Alex's eyes widened by in surprise "Excuse me?"

"Save your bullshit for someone else…I've had it with you…seriously…don't talk to me like that…I just want to help you and Addison."

His breath caught in his throat. "What did you just say?" He mumbled out in a whisper.

"I know Alex…" She stated simply

"What do you know?" He asked his voice trembling

"About you and Dr. Montgomery…I know that she is the reason why you are upset."

"You don't know anything..." He answered in a bitter tone and turned to leave

"I know that you love her…"

Alex stopped and felt like he couldn't move anymore. He pressed his lips together and his eyes became sad. Slowly he turned to towards Izzie, looking at her but not saying anything at all.

"So… I was right." She stated quietly noticing the look on his face "What happened Alex?"

"Nothing happened… she left… that's it."

"I'm not buying that crap…so either you are going to tell me now or I will annoy you until you finally do."

Alex rolled his eyes at her, knowing that he might as well tell her now. He took a deep breath, and his palms started to sweat. "We made love Izzie, okay? So… there…I said it."

"Oh my god…you really DO love her."

"What? Why do you…"

"You said "made love" you didn't say that you had sex… or that you slept with her…oh my god…" Izzie couldn't hold her tongue any longer.

"So what if I do? It doesn't make a difference. She is gone.. she left.. I am alone. End of story." His bitterness was back.

"Then go after her!" Izzie lightly touched his shoulder, causing him to flinch at her touch. He bent his head and looked at the ground.

"I can't…she…she told me to move on."

"When?"

"She left a letter after we…I found it when I woke up. She was already gone by that time."

"I am sorry Alex."

"Yeah…me too."

"I still think you should go after her." She was persistent

"Didn't you hear what I just said? She doesn't want me to…she told me…well…wrote me."

"Where is that damn letter?"

"What?" He was confused now and looked at Izzie like she had grown two heads.

"Where is the letter? I want to read it." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him.

"Are you serious?"

Izzie cocked an eyebrow at the question and Alex sighed, pulling out a folded piece of paper from his lab coat. The paper was totally worn out and it seemed like he had read the paper multiple times.

"You carry it with you ever day."

"Pretty much...yeah." He handed her the letter, he lowered his eyes so he was once again staring at his feet.

Izzie took the white sheet and started to read. After she was done she pressed the letter back into Alex hands and grabbed his shoulders

"You have to go…now!"

"Okay Izzie…now you are freaking me out…what the hell?"

"She told you she loved you." She hesitantly coaxed out

"She also told me that she can't be with me."

"Jeez Alex you are like the biggest jerk I know…she told you that she loves you…that's the most important thing ever…the other things she wrote…its bullshit… maybe she was scared or unsure…or whatever."

"You think so?" Alex tried to look up.

"I don't think so…I know. God Alex, why didn't you tell me sooner. You wasted 6 months. Now go, pack your stuff, I will book the flight."

"I can't go Izzie…what if she moved on already. What if she has someone new in her life?"

"Then you have to fight for her…with all you have."

Alex nodded and dropped the charts he was holding on the nearest desk and soon he was gone.

xoxox

10 hours later

His palms were totally sweaty when the plane landed at Los Angeles LAX Airport. He took a deep breath as he left the plane and walked through the airport to the exit.

The sun was burning and shining so brightly he had to cover his eyes for a short while until he got used to it. With a small duffel bag in his hand he looked around for a cab. When he finally saw one approaching he held out his hand to stop it.

Slowly he got in, his heart pounding fast.

"LA city Hospital." He managed to say in a whisper before his voice left him.

The taxi driver drove like a maniac and he cursed like a sailor but all of that went unnoticed by Alex. All he could think about was Addison. What would she do if she saw him? Would she be happy? Would she throw him out right away?

"We are here." The driver informed him snapping him out of his thoughts "Its 20 bucks Sir."

Alex handed him the money and got out of the car making his way over to the entrance of the hospital. Again he took a deep breath before he finally entered the building.

The hospital was crowded. There were doctors, nurses and other professional looking people running around and Alex noticed how different this hospital looked.

He walked up to a front desk, setting down his bag and looking at the young man in front of him.

"Excuse me?" he asked quietly

"How can I help you Sir?" he politely wanted to know

"I am looking for Dr. Montgomery. Do you know where I can find her?"

"Oh…she is right over there." And his fingers pointed into the right direction.

Alex followed his gaze and his eyes landed on a tall red head who had her back to him.

"Thank you." He mumbled before taking a few steps towards her.

Her red hair was tight in a pony tail and she was till wearing those ridiculous high heels. Her hands were on her back, rubbing it like she was in pain. He stopped walking when he noticed her turning around. He gasped as their eyes locked.

Addison's hands dropped from her back and covered her mouth. She swallowed hard and looked away her eyes pooling with tears. Slowly she walked up to him, her hands shaking.

"Alex…" She whispered…not able to say anything more.

Alex's heart beat fast in his chest as he looked her up and down. His voice was trembling when he finally muttered.

"Addison… you… you…you're pregnant!"

TBC

Okay.. that's it for part 1  I hope you liked it. I know it doesn't really follow the private practice storyline, but I started to write this Fanfiction before watching the spin off, so please bear with me. Part 2 is almost done, so YOU decide when I will get it online  please leave a review, it only takes about 20 seconds and it makes me smile.. and who knows.. with enough reviews I might update sooner than planned.