Endgame
Ritchie could not hide his uneasiness. He had met several of Mac's vampire
friends in the past, and had gotten along with them quite well. But that had been in
his own turf. Now he was at in their lair, and no matter what Mac's reassurances had
been (and Mac's memories, now residing in him), he could not forget the old stories,
nor the many movies he had seen.
"You can leave your sword with us. There are no other Immortals around.
Should anyone who is not Kindred approaches, we will return it to you."
"Where I go my sword goes." Ritchie said.
"Please." The Gangrel bodyguard was determined. His job was to protect the
Prince of the City. "Duncan MacLeod always left his sword with us when he came to see
Julian Luna."
"Well, I am not Duncan MacLeod. I do not leave my sword behind for nobody.
Not until I know I can trust those around me." he grimaced. "That is part of what I
have to tell the Prince. Some of his people are helping out Immortals in ways they
should not. I want to tell him how Duncan MacLeod died, and how some Kindred helped
kill him."
"You say that Kindred killed him, that they beheaded him?"
"No, an Immortal did. But Kindred helped him to win that battle. I want to
tell the Prince of it, and ask him what he intends to do about it. And until I get
reassurance that he is not planning something like that for me, my sword goes with
me."
The Gangrel considered it. "Then we will go with you, and watch you. If you
make a move against the Prince, we will get your head before you finish unsheathing
your sword. You Quickening will be wasted on us, but we will protect our Prince."
"All right. I keep my sword, and I will do my best to keep my head."
He was admitted to the study where Sonny was sorting out his paperwork.
"Mr. Ryan? We have met before, in better circumstances."
"Yes. We did." Sonny sensed how Ritchie radiated hostility towards him. That
and grief. He must be grieving as much for MacLeod as he himself grieved for Julian.
For some reason Ritchie was blaming him, and other Kindred for MacLeod's death. Why
was that? Julian had confided in him that it was his inspiring in MacLoed the desire
to leave behind something more durable than a collection of severed heads that led
him to concentrate his attention in Julian's projects and to slacken on his training.
But Ritchie's anger was more focused than that.
"You come to talk to me about Duncan MacLeod and how he died."
"Yes. One of the Kindred helped to kill him."
"How?"
"I took the head of the Immortal that killed Mac, and got his memories. He
was assisted by one of the Kindred. This man not only led him to Mac, but gave him
a 'secret potion' that would enhance his strength. I have reason to believe that the
potion was Kindred blood."
"Do you have a name, or a description of this Kindred?" Sonny felt cold dread
come onto him. If Immortals knew what Kindred blood could do for them... Felicia
Martens had shown the way. Others would follow, others who could not take the power
they craved without killing the one who held it. How many Kindred would fall victim
to that Gladiator logic?
"Cameron."
"Cameron." Sonny was silent for a few moments, trying to control his
feelings. "Cameron killed Julian, too. I do now know why he would have wanted to kill
MacLeod too, unless it was part of his vendetta against Julian. He may have had
MacLeod killed just to make Julian suffer. But that he would risk all Kindred by
allowing this information to fall into the hands of an Immortal who would be without
MacLeod's ethics, or respect for life, whether human, Immortal, or Kindred... I wish
I could say I did not believe it, but I know too well what kind of nastiness Cameron
is capable of."
"I know what you are trying to protect. Mac left instructions to me, Connor,
Amanda, and Methos to get the head of whoever killed him to protect the Kindred's
secrets. I got to his killer first, and I am glad I did. That man would have done just
as Felicia Martens did."
"And Cameron risked letting the man know what Kindred blood could do for him.
He must be crazed with hatred. Or stupid. Only he is not stupid. If he were, he could
not have lasted all these years, never stepping over the line, forcing concessions
out of Julian, and placing himself into a position of power where he could have Julian
tried and executed. He just did not care, as long as he got revenge on Julian. Well,
he did, and may it profit him much where he is!"
"Where is he?"
"Bates' Motel, and he is playing Norman."
"Bates' Motel?"
"Coventry, by another name. What the Brujah does to those who embarrass them.
They do not strip them of their titles, they just send them to be in charge of a
failing business in the middle of nowhere. They actually subsidize theses businesses
to keep them going. Very small population density. A Kindred alone would not starve,
and two would still manage, three would be stretching it too thin. So any Kindred in
Coventry cannot gather a following. He can embrace as many as he or she wants, but
they must leave the area soon afterwards. Add to it the lack of amenities, poorly
stocked libraries and bookstores, bottom of the barrel cable TV providers, pathetic
movie selection, no theater, no night life. Just endless boredom from day to day, and
a business that goes nowhere. There the exiled Brujah wait for the call to come to
them that all is forgiven and they can go back. Some wait for a long time. Eventually
the call comes, for those that are patient. Some cannot take it. They go crazy, and
some go the Norman Bates route. They are monitored, and if there are unexplained
disappearances or unsolved murders linked to their business, then they are tried and
executed for breaking the Masquerade. They are executed actually for the crimes that
sent them to Coventry, only without the publicity, and without the Brujah losing face
over them."
"And Cameron is there."
"Yes. And I wonder how long before he puts on a dress and starts stabbing
people in showers. Of course, he can take Julian's advice and try to get himself a
life. That is possible, even in Bates' motel."
"Charming fate. I am almost tempted to leave him there to stew."
"Please do." Sonny got up from his seat and paced. "I will be blunt with you.
I cannot stop you from taking Cameron's head, but I hope that you let him live. If
you do kill him, I might be able to use what you learned of him and passed on to me,
to stop the Brujah's complaints and any attempts to break up the informal alliance
we have with the Immortal and Watcher group that MacLeod set up. But there will be
ill-feeling after that. MacLeod and Julian worked very hard for that alliance, and
I would think that you would want to keep it."
"But why can't Cameron be punished as he deserves?"
"After Julian was executed and vindicated shortly afterwards, the Brujah were
extremely embarrassed in front of the other clans. Losing face is a terrible fate to
them. They were willing to give us Cameron's head to keep the peace (they have learned
to appreciate peace. For all their grumbling and complaining about Julian being so
strait-laced, Cyrus and many others have seen that following his rules is actually
good for business.) They do not want to go back to the days of open warfare. We saved
the Brujah the public embarrassment. In exchange we got major concessions from them.
And they had to put Sasha, Julian's direct descendant, in their highest councils as
liasion to us. If we kill Cameron now, they will try to take back what they gave
us."
"So, you tell me that you will do nothing about it."
"No matter what evidence you bring us, we have to officially take no notice
of it. Oh, we will watch him, and his progeny, and anyone he comes in contact with.
We will have the Watchers tell us which Immortals, if any, cross his path, or that
of his friends or children. We will seek to find anyone else trading in Kindred blood
for Immortals. For that all clans will cooperate. The Brujah will be more than willing
to join. They have this mental image of themselves as predators, and their trouble
with Kindred Law is that they wish to be free to express their predator nature.
Felicia Martens taught them that they can be prey as much as anyone else. They do not
wish to learn that lesson again. But I will not prosecute Cameron. I will not get his
head until the Brujah themselves ask for it."
"You are asking me to pretend that Mac's death was due to the fact that the
other guy was a better swordsman?"
"I have to pretend that Julian's execution was an honest mistake of Cameron's
part, and that all the pettiness that surrounded it did not happen. I have to forget
that Cameron refused to release the body to us. I have to forget that he would not
have Julian beheaded cleanly, but had to have him mangled by a firing squad, that he
tried to deprive Julian of a clean shirt and the means to tidy himself up for his
execution, and that he would not allow him to feed for two days prior to his death.
I have to forget that I saw Julian being taken out into the yard shackled hand and
foot, and that he was shot point blank in the face, so that his friends could see his
head blown away. Do you think I like doing it?"
"But you do."
"Yes, I do. Julian himself asked me to. He told me what would happen after
he was gone, and how to take advantage of the opportunity. This is what he worked for,
what he lived for, and in the end, what he died for."
Ritchie eased himself in the nearest chair. "Why don't you tell me the
story?"
...
It had all began when Julian had noticed that three of his semi-regulars were
in the hospital. He had sent them flower baskets with get-well cards and thought no
more of it.
...
"Semi-regulars?"
"He would go to them repeatedly for blood. Not constantly, but he knew that
they were always there when he needed them. He developed a relationship of sorts with
them, cordial enough so that they enjoyed his company."
"Did they know what he was doing to them?"
"He made them forget about it. But, as Julian said, people forget, but still
they remember. According to him, it is very important to have good relationships with
them. They must feel they are getting something out of it too, because at some level
they know that their acquaintance/friend is gaining something from their company, and
you do not want them rocking the boat."
"And these three were sick."
"As I said, Julian sent them get-well gifts, but thought no more of it. Until
the newspapers mentioned that the doctors at the hospital were seeing all these anemia
cases."
"His people?"
"They were not the only ones to get it. That was why it did not worry Julian
at first. He thought it was some kind of virus, and that the hospital would track it
down. Only they didn't, and one of the sensational rags came up with the idea that
maybe there was a vampire involved."
"But it was not Julian."
"No, and it was not a vampire, either. I told you. There were anemia cases,
with the same symptoms that Julian had nothing to do about."
"So what was the problem?"
"The problem was that the newspapers were full of vampire stories. And that
the basis for those stories had a connection to the Kindred. It was enough to cause
a panic among us. We may chafe at the Masquerade, and complain. But we are deadly
afraid that it may be broken, and to have the persecutions start again. Julian was
at the center of this panic. And Cameron saw his main chance."
...
Cameron had Julian arrested and brough to trial for breaking the Masquerade.
He had the power to do so. Julian had had to buy Cameron's cooperation for his plans
more than once, and Cameron always made a good bargain for himself. He had helped
Julian set up a trial system to enforce the Law insted of leaving it to the individual
decision of the Prince. Cameron's price for that was to be a judge, representing the
Brujah. He had the power to call investigations, to arrest, to set up trials, and to
pass death sentences. He now used the power against Julian.
...
"It was Julian's own creation that Cameron turned against him. Julian had to
obey it, for if he didn't no one else did. He had been annoyed when they came to
arrest him, but not really worried. But that changed when the trial started."
...
Cameron turned in as evidence all the newspaper articles with the word
vampire highlighted in all of them. He asked Julian whether or not the articles
referred to people he fed from. Julian had to admit it. He tried to insist that there
were other cases with the same symptoms who had had not been touched by him.
"As far as we know." Cameron said. "We can prove it of these three. Maybe we
can prove it of others."
He also brought up Frank Kohanek, how Julian had allowed this human to know
so much about us, and to talk to others of what he knew.
Julian had broken the Masquerade, not once but repeatedly. And the only
penalty was death.
Julian insisted that they should give the hospital staff time to determine
the true cause of the anemia. He reminded them how often the Kindred were blamed for
the ravages of tuberculosis and other such diseases. The advances of science had
uncovered their true source, as well as finding ways to treat and prevent those old
scourges. This anemia outbreak would prove to have a natural cause.
Julian fought well, but Cameron could play this game better. Or rather,
Julian was playing a whole different game than Cameron.
...
"As he told me later, Cameron played chess, while Julian was playing
checkers. Cameron aimed for the king. Julian considered the king to be as expendable
as any other piece."
...
"Duncan is dead." Julian said after opening his mail which Sonny had brough
to him in his cell.
"Duncan MacLeod?."
Julian nodded. " Yes. I knew it would happen soon. Too many challenges, not
enough interest in his training. I may have killed him, you know."
"Julian!"
"No, I am not feeling guilty. It was what he wanted. I taught him to want
more out of life than severed heads. I gave him the ambition to do something lasting,
and the means to do it. He threw himself into it, and did not care so much for
training. And now he died for it."
Sonny did not know what to say. He knew how close Duncan MacLeod and Julian
had been, and the news could not have come at a worse time.
"He loved those projects he was working on, trying to catalog the Immortals'
knowledge, cross-referencing it with Watcher records, and then with ours. He was
trying to undertand what Immortals are, and why. And he was searching for ways to make
the knowledge that Immortals had accumulated available to all. He never liked taking
heads, though he did it when he needed to. And he could not forget the Gathering, when
he might well have to battle his friends to the death. I can see how it happened."
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, Sonny." he thought for a few moments about Duncan, the first time they
had met, and how easily they had become close friends. Then he was back to his
problem, and the one solution he saw to it. "Can you get the court to agree to wait
for the hospital results?"
"They will not do it. Cameron is forcing the issue."
"And he has the power. I gave it to him so that we could have a tribunal at
all."
"I am still Prince of the City. I can make them do it."
"No. You cannot. We established the tribunal independently of the power of
the Prince. You have to obey it, as anyone else."
"Julian, Cameron wants to kill you."
"I know what he wants. But you will not move against the tribunal. You will
not attempt to put aside the sentence. And you will not break me out."
"Julian, there is not other way. Cameron will have them pass a death sentence
on you."
"Let him. That is all that he can do."
"Julian, we are not talking about fines or exile. We are talking about their
cutting your head off. Like Duncan MacLeod."
"That is what I am talking about. That is the only way I can beat Cameron
once and for all."
"But Julian..."
"You save me, and your risk starting clan wars again. Do you want that
responsibilty? It will not be easy for you. It was not easy for me to suppress the
evidence that Cameron killed Cash. But I knew what would happen if I did not."
"Cash? I thought that his motorcycle crashed and caught fire."
"Yes. But I know how that accident was made to happen. You know how I loved
Cash. I wanted to make Cameron pay. But then I remembered what Cash and I had
discussed about the Gangrel, how the Brujah kept goading them into wars each time they
rebuilt their strength, so as to keep them weak. The Gangrel needed to avoid going
to war with the Brujah for if they did, the Brujah would cut them down again. Cash
and I set up a line of succession and a procedure to elect a Primogen that avoids
inter-clan struggles. The Nosferatu and Torreadors followed. You know that the Ventrue
do, too. It is only in the Brujah now that getting a new Primogen means that they
fight each other for the privilege. Cash's death was a great blow to me, personally,
but the Gangrels weathered it well, and the peace was kept. Cameron could kill Cash,
but could not damage the Gangrel as he hoped. They are stronger, and the day will come
that the Brujah will fear going to war with them. All it took was for me to say that
Cash's death was an accident, an act of God, if you will. I mourned Cash deeply, and
I showed my respect for him by not destroying what he worked for." He looked deep into
Sonny's eyes. "I want you to show me the same respect that I showed Cash. I want you
to protect all that I worked for, even if the price is my life."
"Julian, you can't ask that of me."
"I am your sire. I can order you to, if I have to."
"But why? Do you want to die?"
"I want my work to survive. I want to stop the Brujah's campaigns to
undermine it. Sonny, you remember that old musical, Camelot?"
"Yes."
"Didn't you see how Mordred destroyed Arthur's work? Lancelot rescued
Guenevere and started war with the Round Table to do so. Rembember the dilemma that
Mordred explained to Arthur: Kill the Queen or Kill the Law. If you kill the Queen,
your life is over, if you kill the Law, your life is a fraud. Sonny, I do not want
Cameron to goad you into killing my Law. Your life is not over, and my life is not
a fraud. If I have to lose my head for it, so be it."
Sonny broke away from Julian's eyes and paced the cell. He had to make Julian
see reason, somehow.
"Julian, you are upset about Duncan. You blame yourself for what happend to
it, and you want to suffer for it."
Julian smiled "You think so?"
"I know what guilt does to you. You have this terrible past that you want
to atone for. And Cameron is taking advantage of it. Look at were you are. Why do you
think he has you locked up here, in Manzanita? He wants your guilt to do the work for
him. That's how he forced all those concessions from you. You think that you owe the
people you killed here your life. And you now think you owe it to Duncan, too"
Julian shook his head. "Sonny, have you seem me suicidal before?"
"I know the problem you have with feeding. Even now, there are times when
you are afraid to look at blood."
"It is a problem under control. It never kept me from doing what I wanted.
And you are wrong about what I gave Cameron. The only concessions I gave him were the
ones that helped me achieve what I wanted. As long as we have peace, and the rule of
Law, he could have all the minor victories he wanted. He could win battles, but I
meant to win the war. And I will. He passes a death sentence against me, and I win."
"No, he wins."
"Only if you play chess, as he does. I play checkers."
"What...?"
"In chess, the objective is the King. Once one King is taken the game is
over. And Cameron has gotten the King, this time. But this is checkers. In checkers
you lose Kings all the time, and new Kings are created all the time. What matters is
to control the board so that your opponent cannot move his pieces. Cameron is going
to find out that he is playing the wrong game after he gets me and finds out that the
game is still going on, and that he has lost ground."
"Julian, this is too complicated for me. All I know is that Cameron has been
aiming for your head, and that unless you and I can come with a plan, he will get it.
And you now cooperate with him, because you think it allows you to escape your guilt
for your enforcer past."
"Cameron is obessed with getting me. I have known it for a long time. And I
used it." Julian's look became dreamy, as he reviewed the game he had played for so
long "I let him focus on getting me personally. That meant that he did not pay
attention to what my long-term plans were. You and I said that Cameron was more
dangerous than Eddie Fiori. That is not true. Eddie knew what I was about, and would
not have cooperated with me the way that Cameron did. I meant to destroy the world
in which the Eddie Fioris thrived. I wanted to end clan warfare not just because the
suffering it caused, but because the leaders it gave rise to. In war it is the most
ruthless who come to the top. Civilized behavior is an impediment for a war leader.
Daedalus was a gentle soul, Sonny. Do you think that any other clan but the Nosferatu
would have had him as Primogen? But the Nosferatu do not get involved in warfare, and
they can afford a civilized leader. Give the other clans some enforced peace, let the
peaceful and law abiding thrive without fear, and the Eddie Fioris and their ilk will
be no longer needed. Cameron never saw this, and he let me built the world that is
to come right under his nose. It has reached the point when it can go on without me.
So, let him have my head."
Sonny just shook his head.
"Do you remember the stories of the Kindred of old, how easily and willingly
they slaughtered humans for blood, bringing the persecutions on all of us? Do you
think that Cyrus has greater regard for human life than those old killers? But the
Masquerade and Kindred Law has forced him not to kill humans for blood. Cyrus exploits
humans (and Kindred, too) when he can in his businesses, and he can be quite ruthless.
But he knows that behaving like a Kindred of old is bad for his health, and bad for
business. He could tell you to the cent how much money he stands to lose if anyone
in his organization is caught killing or damaging humans for blood. If anyone thinks
that you or I were too strict on that law, they should watch how Cyrus enforces it
in L.A. That was the great change that the Masquerade brought about. I want to bring
about the next great change, where Kindred will hear stories of the clan wars with
the same disbelief that you and I hear Methos's stories of the predatory Kindred that
he beheaded. This is what I wanted. This is what I swore to myself that I would do,
after Manzanita. You are right, Sonny. I want to atone for it, with my life. Not by
dying for it. If it was that simple, I would have done it long ago. No, what I did
was dedicate my life to stopping the wars that make good people do terrible things,
that cause innocents to be slaughtered, and which tempts honorable, decent men like
Archon to betray themselves and commit horrible crimes. And to set up a system where
no Kindred need fear a murderous Primogen or Prince again, where every Kindred will
have a full hearing before a sentence of death is passed. If that had been in
existence then Archon could not have sent me to Manzanita. I committed myself to make
any other such massacre impossible. I cannot undo what was done here, but I can
prevent it elsewhere."
"But you do not have to die."
"Unfortunately I have to. I have endgamed Cameron. I have exploited his
weakness, his obsession with me. Now there is a price to pay." He faced Sonny and put
his arm on Sonny's shoulder. "I am sorry, Sonny. I did not mean to leave you so soon.
I thought we would have more time, you and I. But I trained you well. You will do fine
without me."
Sonny shook his head. "I can't let them do this to you. I can't let that
bastard Cameron get you."
"Poor Cameron." Julian mused "He does not realize what he has done to
himself. He is as much a prisoner of the Manzanita massacre as I am. He gave himself
one goal in life, and that was to destroy me. He has no interests, no independent life
apart from this goal. He has put his life on hold until then, and has no plans made
as to what to do with himself. In that he is just like me, I am afraid. All his
energies concentrated in a single point. And when my head is struck off he will have
nothing to live for. He will pay a political penalty, of course, but that will not
be the worst. He will have the fight taken out of him, because he won't be able to
figure out what to do with his life. That is what obsession does to you. Angry as you
are, try to find some compassion for him."
"Julian, it does not have to be this way. We can...we can still fight it. I
can force a postponement...I can..."
"You can do nothing. You have to respect the tribunal. It is your duty to do
so. And you have to respect my wishes. Do you want me to command you as your sire to
leave things as they are? I can do it. I will do it if I think that you will try to
do something foolish as soon as you leave my cell. No, Sonny. Accept that I am going
to die, and try to make it as easy as you can for me."
"I can't accept it. You do not deserve this. No you. No one deserves it
less."
"I do not deserve this, the honoree at the banquet said, but then I have
arthritis, and I do not deserve it, either." Julian said with a smile. "Duncan told
me that joke. We were having a good time that day. He was singing "In Heaven there
is no Beer." and got me to sing along. Sonny, I hope that the song is wrong, that
there is beer in Heaven, and that Duncan has a couple of bottles for me when I get
there."
...
"Of course, they condemned Julian to death. But Cameron gave it a twist. He
told me personally what he wanted done, so that I could tell Julian."
...
"A firing squad? Cameron is having me executed by firing squad?" Julian could
not hide his dismay. "Not beheading?"
"I do not know why he wants it that way. He insisted on the full ceremony.
Several marksmen, the standard commands, blindfold, the works."
"Sonny, don't you understand what he wants?"
"He wants you dead."
"He wants to make it as ugly as possible. I know that most people have some
romantic idea of firing squads, but you, with your police experience should know
better. You know what high caliber guns can do to a body. When you want to destroy
identification what do you do? Shoot straight into the face." Julian touched his face
and shivered. "He is having me shot in the face. When you bury me, it will have to
be a closed casket funeral."
"You think he will do that?"
"I know he will. Look at the way I am being kept. No, I am not particualrly
mistreated. But I haven't worn a clean shirt since they locked me up. I cannot wash.
I cannot get my hair combed. I feel myself become dirty and disheveled, and I cannot
change that. Maybe I am too vain, but it is important to me to look my best. And when
they take me out for execution, Cameron wants to make sure I look...like this. He
wants to humiliate me. And he wants to hurt my friends. Any of you who will come to
see me die will carry the sight of a mangled, faceless corpse as their last memory
of me."
"Julian.." Sonny put his hand on Julian's shoulder. Julian covered it and
tried to calm himself.
"He is goading us." Julian said slowly. "Making it unbearable for me, so that
I ask you to break me out of here. Well, I will not do it. I told you what is the only
way that he can win."
"If you show you cannot abide by your own law."
"But I will abide by it, no matter what petty persecutions he throws into my
way, or my friends'." He tought for a few moments on what he needed to do. "He wants
me dead. Fine. The king is expendable in this checkers game. He wants to shoot me.
I'll accept it. I will try to keep control of that scene until the triggers are
pulled. I think that I can do it. Afterwards, it will be up to you and all my friends.
You will have to find a way not to let the sight of my body disturb you. You will have
to find in you some way to counteract that ugliness. Comfort one another. Give courage
to one another. Remind yourselves that the body they see is not me there anymore, that
I am in their hearts, and in all the things I loved and fought for. I only need two
things from you."
"Name them."
"Make sure that I am dead. Sever my spinal cord after they shoot me. Cameron
cannot take that right from you without embarrassing the Brujah badly. Make a stink
if you have to, but I don't think that you will have to."
"And the second?"
"See if you can get me a clean shirt. And a comb, a mirror, and a basin of
water."
"I'll see what I can do."
"Good" Julian stared ahead, with a slight smile. "I won the war, Sonny, never
forget that. I know that they will track down the real cause of that anemia and that
I will be vindicated. And when that happens, Cameron will be finished. Try to be
generous to him, because he won't have much of a life afterwards. As for myself, all
I have to do now is to die well."
"And all I have to do is watch it happen."
Julian was silent for a moment. There was pain in his eyes as he looked at
Sonny, remembering all they had gone through together.
"Sonny, please forgive me for what I am putting you through."
...
"And that was it?" Ritchie was aghast "You accepted that your role was
basically to stand by and watch him get killed, without lifting a finger to help him?"
"Do you know how hard that was? There was time when I would have been
dishonored by refusing to assist my sire when he was in danger. But Julian
specifically forbade me to. He said that too many had abused the sway they held over
their offspring to have them commit crimes and break human and Kindred law out of
misguided loyalty to their sires or makers. I had to set up an example to all. We
cannot place loyalties to our sires above the Law. And because of that Cameron's
offspring found it easier to abandon him when he was disgraced."
"But still you had to watch Julian getting blown away."
"Yes, I did, with so many others. I had passed the word to all his friends
of what Julian had said, and what the body would look like afterwards. They all said
they would come. Ventrues, Gangrels, Torreadors, Nosferatus, and even some Brujah,
they all would be there for him. Lillie was still nursing her hurts from her broken
relationship with Julian, but she would come nevertheless. And Caitlin, who had been
hurt the most because of Julian's inability to love her as openly and as deeply as
she did, said that she would be at my side, and show him her love for one last time."
"And that was all you could do for him, of course." Ritchie could not hide
his scorn. He could not understand how they could abandon thus someone they claimed
to love. If it had been him and Mac...No way he would have abandoned Mac to his fate.
"No, there was something else I did. I contacted Sasha and told her of
Julians' request for a clean shirt, a mirror, a comb, and a basin of clean water. She
was shocked that he was being treated like that, and said that she would take care
of it. She was defying her Primogen and risking her position in the Brujah, but she
did not care. It was thanks to her that Julian looked his best, as always. It meant
the world to him to be able to go out in style."
...
Sasha fought to control herself as Julian washed himself in the basin she had
provided him and combed his hair meticulously until not a hair was out of place. "You
don't know what it means to me, to be able to be...presentable one last time."
She nodded. "Cameron is nasty that way. He finds every petty way to hurt, and
uses it."
"Well, in this one he did not get his way. And today will be his last
triumph. I do not know when he will realize it, but he will. He will look at what's
left of my body and realize that his future is behind him. I hope that he can get
himself a life afterwards."
"Not if I can help it."
Julian shook his head as he put on the clean shirt. "No, Sasha, no revenge.
That is what destroyed Cameron. I am not worth throwing your future away. If you want
to honor me continue working on the things I loved. You have a bright future. The
Brujah will be greatly embarrassed by my death. They will have a price to pay, and
part of the price will be putting you in power. Use that power well. When there is
a Brujah Prince of the City, it may be you." He studied his reflection, glad that none
of his friends would see him disheveled, or in dirty clothes, as Cameron had wanted.
They would still see his maimed, disfigured corpse, and he hoped that they could
handle it. He would try to give them good memories, as many as he could, and they
would take it from there. "I look gaunt, Sasha. They did not allow me to feed for two
days. Can you help me there?"
"With all my heart." She cut herself and let him drink, watching how the
lines of his face disappeared as her blood fed him.
"I love you, Julian."
"I love you too, little Brujah Princess. But do not be sorry for me. I will
be with my friends. I will see Duncan, and Archon, and Frank, and Daedalus, and
Cash...I will tell Cash how much you loved him, and still do."
She stroked his face, sighing. "They will shackle you. Hands and feet. I
cannot change that order."
He nodded. "Well, let Cameron get all the satisfaction he can find out of
this. This may be the last one he will get for a long time. Hands in front or back?"
"Back, with a chain around the waist, and a short length of chain linking the
ankles."
"Which means I can only take small steps. I can manage. Now hold me, Sasha,
one last time."
She threw her arms around him. He held her quietly, while watching the door
of the cell. He stood at the farthest wall, which would give him control of the
situation when they came in for him. "You don't have to come out in the yard with me
if you don't want to."
She nodded. "I want to. I will be there for you."
"When it is done hug all of them for me. Tell them that I love them, and not
to be sad. Tell them to throw me an Irish wake, to mourn my death, yes, but to
celebrate my life, too."
"I will."
"Oh, Sasha, Sasha. I love you so much. I hate leaving you behind. And we
wasted so much time fighting each other. But we will meet again one day. In a better
place than this. Believe it Sasha. Tell that to everyone, that when their time comes
I will be waiting for them, and we will have joy, and laughter, and plenty of beer."
"Yes, we will."
The lock on the door turned. "Let's not make them wait" he whispered to
Sasha. He kissed her on the forehead then stepped back as the door opened.
"You are on time, Gentlemen." he said to them. He crossed himself quickly,
then moved towards them, in one fluid movement, crossing his hands behind him and
turning his back to them. "Let's get this done quickly."
His hands were manacled together, then the chain went around his waist. He
lifted one foot, then the other to help them put on the leg shackles. He smiled at
Sasha. "Be brave, my Princess. It won't be long now."
She nodded, and smiled back at him.
"Do we go, now?" he took a tentative step, to test the slack of his ankle
chain.
"Yes, we go now."
"Please guide me, for I do not know the way."
The witnesses were there. So many of his friends had come, even after he had
warned them what to expect. Sonny was there, holding tightly Catilin's hand. Caitlin
smiled bravely at him, and he acknowleged it. So much had gone wrong between him and
Caitlin. And all of it his fault.
Cameron looked him and raged. Where had Julian gotten his clean shirt? And
how come he was looking so neat, as always? He had made sure it did not happen. He
glared at Sasha, who ignored him as she joined the other witnesses.
There were twenty marksmen in the firing party. For one moment Julian winced,
picturing the damage so many shots could do to his body. Then he was calm again. That
was not his concern. He had to let go of his life, effortlessly. He felt as if it slid
off him, like a cloak that had grown too heavy to carry. He was in the scene of his
earlier crime, and it did not matter. It did not hurt him, not anymore, what he had
once done. The forgiveness that he had once craved and which eluded him for so long
was there at last.
He turned to his escort and asked if he could address the witnesses.
"No speeches."
"Just personal messages."
His escort nodded. "Keep it brief."
He turned towards Caitlin. "Caitlin, I never loved you as you deserved. I am
sorry. Can you forgive me for the hurt I gave you?"
"With all my heart, Julian."
He turned to Sonny. "Sonny, do not be sorry for me. I had a good life." he
looked around. "Do not be sad, all of you. We will meet again one day."
Then it was Cameron's turn. "Cameron, for your sake, find something to live
for after I am gone. I would have been your friend if you had let me."
"You!.." Cameron spluttered, but now Julian looked away, towards the firing
squad.
The words of the song came to him effortlessly as he walked towards the wall.
"Amazing Grace, what sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me." He was placed
against the wall. He lifted his shoulders and pushed them back so that they touched
the wall, "I once was lost and now I am found." He gave a quick nod to the man who
approached him with a blindfold, and the cloth was tied over his eyes. "I was blind
and now I see."
A few more moments, as the man who had covered his eyes moved out of the
firing range... he went on to the next verse. "T'was Grace that taught my heart to
fear/ and Grace my fear ..."
There was a discharge. And no more singing.
Sonny's hand froze in Caitlin's grasp. He saw the blood on the ground, he saw
Julian...He knew that Julian was dead, had been killed outright. As Julian had
predicted they had shot him in the face, with a few shots lodging in his chest to
mangle the body too. Julian's head had been destroyed, and unpleasant as it was, it
meant that Julian would not linger in pain.
But Kindred were tough to kill, and if there was a chance that Julian was
lingering in pain he had to attend to it.
He got up and walked towards the firing range.
"And Grace my fear relieved." Caitlin began to sing behind him.
"Where are you going?" Cameron challenged him.
"As Julian's offspring, I have the right to determine that my sire is dead.
As Prince of the City I will ascertain that the sentence was carried out properly."
He dared Cameron to deny him his rights in front of so many of Julian's friends.
Cameron nodded reluctantly.
As he walked he heard Caitlin continuing with her rendition of Amanzing
Grace, which she had taken where Julian had broken off. Other voices joined, softly,
almost inaudibly at first.
He made himself concentrate on a single spot, the back of Julian's neck. He
told himself that this was not Julian anymore, just some mangled flesh that he had
the duty to relieve of pain. Julian was not there. Nothing could hurt Julian now.
He knelt by the corpse. He looked once more at the back of the neck, at the
still unsevered spinal cord. His fingernails were sharp enough. One good cut and
Julian's beheading was complete.
And then he heard the last line of the song. "And Grace will lead me home."
Yes, he thought, Let Grace lead Julian home. Let Grace carry all of them.
He rose, hugging himself. And as he did, he felt another song coming through
him. "Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya."
They joined him, all of them. He looked at them and they looked at him.
"Someone's hurting, Lord, Kumbaya, Someone's hurting, Lord, Kumbaya,
Someone's hurting, Lord, Kumbaya. Oh, Lord, Kumbaya."
No one looked at Julian's mangled body anymore. They looked at each other.
They saw the love in each other's eyes, and held on to it. They sang together of their
pain, and their determination not to let it destroy them.
Caitlin began the old time ballad: "Cold blows the wind to my true love, and
gently falls the rain. I never had but one true love, and in the woodland he lies
slain."
Then other songs came. Sasha sang "American Pie", then a Nosferatu sang "The
Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
"Does anyone know where the Love of God goes, when the waves turn the minutes
to hours?" Sonny sang along.
They sang every sad, beautiful song they knew. As long as they sang Julian
was with them. Let Cameron throw to them the ugliness of Julian's poor maimed body.
They had the beauty of their love and their grief to hold them.
And as they were leaving Sonny sang "Joe Hill" as defiance to Cameron. "But
Joe, you are ten years dead. I never died, says he."
And after that came a vigorous rendition of "John Brown's body."
Cameron stared at the body on the ground, feasting his eyes on the gaping
wound on the neck, remembering the hated face that was no more. On his order, Julian
Luna's face, of which he had been so proud, had been reduced to a bloody pulp. No one
could change that.
"Cameron is finished. " Sonny said. "He does not know it yet, but he is."
...
"Two days later the newspaper published a report on the anemia cases." Sonny
told Ritchie. "It turned out to be radiation poisoning, and the nuclear plant was
suspected. There were mutterings about the Karen Silkwood case. It is still being
pursued, but for the Kindred it meant only one thing. Julian had been innocent. He
had not broken the Masquerade by using semi-regulars, who to this day are not
conscious of what he took from them, or the role they played in his death (and I pray
they never find out - they don't need that burden). The court verdict was quashed,
and as soon as that was done the stories came out of Julian's demeanor at his trial
and execution, and how he had chosen to submit to an unjust sentence rather than break
the peace that he had worked so hard for."
"And that turned the tide."
"The tide had turned already. This capped it. I had the right, as Prince of
the City, as the Ventrue Primogen, and as Julian's offspring, to demand Cameron's head
and revenge agains the Brujah. I asked for neither. I said that the sentence had been
an honest mistake of Cameron's part, and added that I was sure that he regretted it
as much as I did. I added that Julian had often said that living under Kindred Law
was hard, and that I accepted it. That sent a signal to all the clans. There would
be no more revenge, no more vendettas to tear each one apart. And Cameron, the man
who embodied the vendetta for the Manzanita massacre was an embarrassment to all. I
went to see him one more time, to claim Julian's body. You see, after that scene we
made at the execution, singing our defiance with "John Brown's body" he decreed that
we could not have the body, which would be buried in an unmarked grave. I was glad
that I had severed Julian's spine, that he was truly dead, and that Cameron could not
keep him barely alive to torment him. But, as I said, suddenly I had right to the
body, and went to claim it."
...
Sonny stared at Cameron. "I have come to claim Julian's body. You no longer
have any right to deny it to us."
Cameron glared.
"We accepted your ruling, as we accepted the verdict and the execution. But
now Julian has been vindicated, and we have a right to bury his body. Where is it?"
They stared at each other, hard. Then Cameron sighed.
"It is all according to the law, of course."
"We would not have it any other way."
Cameron led him down the cellars, and once there, he unlocked a small room.
There, protected by the dark and the cold was Julian's body. Shreds of flesh still
hung from the neck, and there was a bloody mess in a bucket which Sonny figured out
was what was left of Julian's head. The shackles were still on the hands and feet.
"Nice to look at, isn't it?"
Sonny shook his head. "I wonder how your mind works. I bet you came to look
at it every day. As if it made any difference. That is not Julian anymore. Where he
is now, you cannot reach him."
"And where do you think he is, Heaven?"
"Very likely. And I think that you won't make it there unless you change
your attitude."
"You think that he was a saint, is that it?"
"I know what he was, a good and decent man who made mistakes and paid for
them. No, he was no saint. But he was a hero. He lived and died for what he believed
in."
"Do you know what he did?"
"I know the reason for your vendetta against him. So did he. He cut you a lot
of slack for that." He looked at the body's hands. They were open, relaxed, just as
he remembered. There had been no tension, no fear in Julian right to the end. He was
content to have it happen that way. "You did not have to choose as you did. You could
have chosen to accept his friendship."
"I am what he made me when he slaughtered my friends."
"No one made you. You yourself chose to hate, as Julian chose to love."
"I am what he made me."
"You know what you sound like? Those Kindred that brought the persecutions
on all of us. They were what they had been made, and thus they had no choice but to
slaughter humans for their blood. They lied. They did it because they wanted to, and
damn the consequences. Too many innocent Kindred suffered from those crimes. And who
knows how many innocent Kindred would suffer from your continued vendettas, if we had
let you."
"You think that you can stop me?"
"I know that we have stopped you. The Brujah do not want war. They do not
want to lose what they have for the sake of any vendetta. Cyrus does not care for your
grievances. He may have backed Eddie Fiori when he wanted to take over, but he was
Eddie's sire, and he is not yours. Cyrus knows the difference between raising your
offspring, who are indebted to you, to power, and raising a rival within your own clan
to the same high position. You are an embarrassment to him and to the other Brujah.
And you know what Brujah do with those who embarrass them. Something else, too: don't
pin your hopes on becoming a martyr. I will not ask for your head. No Ventrue will
ask for your head. I will not accept a request from any other clan for your head. No
Gangrel request, even though I know, as Julian knew, that you killed Cash. No
Torreador request, not even a Nosferatu request. Only if the Brujah themselves ask
for it, will I take your head. And you know that the Brujah would never do that."
"You...you bastard."
"Resign yourself to live in obscurity and futility. You might as well
consider Julian's advice. Get A Life."
"I will get you for this."
"I think not. I will take the body with me now. I wish you many happy years
at Bates' Motel."
...
"And you took the body back."
"Yes. We had a short burial ceremony. It was not Julian anymore, but wehonored that maimed flesh for having carried his beautiful soul. ptain, My Captain." Then I told them what Julian predicted would happen, and how
it was all coming ue. "But you took no pledge from me."
"No, I did not." He looked at Ritchie boldly. "I had no idea at the time that MacLeod's death was due to more than a challenger that proved better with the sword.
When I saw the anger in you I thought it was because you blamed Julian for making
MacLeod lose interest in his training."
"How was that? I never knew that."
"Julian told me that you were now a better swordsman than MacLeod, and that
MacLeod was not training as often as he should."
"Did he tell you why Mac was doing it?"
"Because he was too caught up in Julian's plans, and his own. After knowing
Julian he had not been content with the life he had led. He thought that all he had
to show for his long life was a collection of severed heads, and that he should leave
behind a more enduring legacy. He envied Julian's sense of purpose and tried to match
it. In the end it killed him."
"What killed him was a skunk named Cameron who sold his own blood to fix a
fight. That guy would not have bested Mac in a fair fight."
"He might, and Julian was afraid of that. That was why he would not hear
about the possibility of embracing Martha for MacLeod."
"Martha? I never heard about that."
"That was just between MacLeod and Julian."
"Well, that is very interesting, but that still does not tell me why I should
not take Cameron's head."
"Because you will get no Quickening from it?"
"What has the Quickening to do with it?"
"Because, apart from battle and extreme cases of self-defense, that is the
only justification an Inmortal killing anyone. An Inmortal has no business killing
those who have no Quickenings to give."
"Methos killed quite a number of Kindred in the old days and it never
bothered him."
"To protect the innocent. Cameron is now harmless. You would be killing him
for revenge, pure and simple. Julian did not want that, and I do not think that
MacLeod would want it either."
"You cannot know what Mac wanted or did not want."
"But you do. You have his Quickening in you, don't you? You can use to learn
what he felt and thought to the end, and listen to it, instead of your own anger. As
for myself I can tell you what Julian wanted more than anything else. Not just what
he told me, but what I saw that day in the yard."
"Oh, what it was that you saw?"
"Julian totally at peace. For the first time since I knew him he was not
tormented by the memories of his days as an enforcer. For the first time he was free.
You do not realize what it means, to you? Tell me, how do you think I liked seeing
a good man, a man that I loved and admired, go through the torments of the damned
because of the guilt he felt? It ate at him. It was even a bad joke, a vampire who
could not stand the sight of blood, because when he saw it, it would remind of one
massacre or another. He tried his best to put it behind him and to atone for it. But
he never felt free. Not until that day. Cameron had him executed in Manzanita, the
site of the worst of the massacres he perpetrated, the one in which he brutally killed
innocent people. And he was at peace. He was forgiven. He was paying for it at last,
and that account was closed. It was beautiful, the smile on his face."
"And because of that you will let Cameron live?"
"Not the only reason, as I explained to you. But yes. Cameron closed Julian's
account. I will not reopen it again, not for the sick satisfaction of looking at
Cameron's corpse."
Ritchie was silent, moved in spite of himself by Sonny's words. "When we deal
with them it involves more than you and me," Mac had said to him once. "There are
too many other people involved, who can suffer if we choose wrong." He had not
understood what that meant, not until now. Sonny had loved Julian as much as he,
Ritchie, had loved Duncan, but he had not been free to try to save Julian's life.
Ritchie had wanted to despise him for it, but could not.
But that was true for him, too. Once Mac had engaged in combat, Ritchie
could only wait for the Quickening. He had never thought about it, because for him
Mac could not lose a fight. If he had been there when Mac's head was taken, he took
would have watched it without trying to save Mac. He would have taken the other guy's
head afterwards, but that would be after Mac was dead. He was not so different from
Sonny.
"You told me why you will not take Cameron's head yourself. Maybe Duncan can
help me find out why I should not go get it on my own."
Ritchie laid his back against the tree and let his mind go back. Mac had
taught him how to go within himself for the memories held in the Quickenings he had
taken. Most of the time the skimming was light, concerned with getting specific
informantion, and then getting out. Now he had the chance of meeting Mac once more,
seeing him, hearing his voice.
He followed the last Quickening he had taken. A nasty piece of work the man
was. He was glad that he had taken that head. And through the man's Quickening he saw
Mac's last battle. He saw Mac falter and back down from his opponent's blows until
he fell down. Ritche felt the savage joy of the man who would now collect the
Highlander's head.
He saw Mac's head struck from his body. He saw it fall down, and bounce on
the ground. He saw the body fall.
And he saw Mac's Quickening.
He followed this new Quickening, glad to leave the other one behind. He was
now surrounded by a world that looked like Mac, felt like Mac, sounded like Mac,
even tasted like Mac.
He saw the Mac's last battle again, only from Mac's point of view
...
He was outmatched. No matter how hard he fought, his opponent was better.
Duncan knew that he had lost his head, but he fought on. For the honor of the clan
MacLeod, if nothing else. He would not give up his head easily.
He tried his best feints and parries. He lounged, hoping that he would come
up with a move that allowed him to best his opponent. Maybe he would get lucky. But
his opponent brushed aside his efforts.
Today he would die. His Watcher would record his death, and go on to his next
assignment. He would die as Immortals died, as he knew all through the years it would
happen.
He backed down from the continuous blows dealt him. He would fight on, and
stall the moment, at least his body would. He was now taking leave of his life, taking
stock of his triumphs and regrets.
He regretted leaving Martha, he regretted the pain she would suffer when she
found out that he had died. But he was glad that he would not lose the one he loved
again.
He regretted the time he wasted, the opportunities he had let slip, but he
rejoiced in what he had done. He had fought on the right side, helped justice, and
practiced mercy. And through his efforts to gather and disseminate knowledge he was
leaving behind more than severed heads as a reminder of his having lived.
He regretted never seeing again his friends. Losing Ritchie, Amanda, Connor,
Methos, and so many others. But he rejoiced at the thought that he had escaped the
Gathering when Immortals were supposed to fight friends to the death for the famed
Prize.
He regretted the harsh words that he had spoken to Julian when Julian would
not hear of embracing Martha (and he had been right about it). But he rejoiced in
having Julian's friendship through so many years. And while his own words were harsh,
Julian had told him that no disagreements, no anger from any of them could change
their friendship, and that Duncan's anger was but a short episode of no importance
in their long story together.
He regretted that he would not live to tell Julian of this, but accepted that
Julian would know how much Duncan regretted his words.
He regretted the stupidities and cruelties he had committed in his long life,
and rejoiced in the opportunity he had been given to learn and to change.
He regretted not being a better teacher for Ritchie, but rejoiced that the
young man would stay with him through thick and thin.
Then he lost footing and fell. Then he saw the blade rise and come down
again. He felt the sting at his neck, and for one moment he felt himself jump in the
air, while seeing a headless body slump on the ground...
"Who wants to live forever?" he thought.
...
Ritchie panted, shaken by what he had seen. So that was how it felt when they
cut off your head.
He thought that sooner or later he would find out for himself.
"Oh, Mac." he sighed.
"Yes?"
He turned at the familiar voice. "Mac, it hurts."
"I know." Duncan said, sitting next to him. "But we are Gladiators. We fight
each other to the death, and collect each other's heads, and no one knows what for."
"I got the son-of-bitch who got you. He had had help. This..vampire named
Cameron gave him his own blood so that he could best you."
"Old history Ritchie. I am still dead, and so is that man. Let it go."
"Mac, if you are dead, what are you doing here?"
"You are still in my Quickening. You can come back each time you want to talk
to me."
"Are you really here? Are you Duncan MacLeod? Do I carry your soul within me?
Or is it just a memory?"
"You do not carry my soul, Ritchie. But I can come to you if you summon me
through my Quickening."
"How?"
"Think of it in computer terms." Julian said. "You can store information.
Or you can store the address where the information is being kept. The Quickening is
a collection of addresses."
Ritchie turned at this interloper. "What are you doing in Mac's Quickening?"
"I am his friend." Julian said, "and you need to talk to both of us."
"Talk to me about what?" he crossed his arms. "Give me the same lecture that
Sonny gave me that I am supposed to let Cameron live for the good of all? Sorry, Mac
was my friend, and no one does that to my friend and lives to tell about it."
"Even if I ask you myself to let it go?" Duncan asked.
"If you did not want revenge, why did you sent me to get the head of the one
who beheaded you?"
"Because of the knowledge of the Kindred that he took from me. I could not
trust him not to do as Felicia Martens did."
"Revenge helps no one. It does not undo the harm done, does not soothe the
heart." Julian said "All it does is add suffering to the world. Punishment is needed
to protect the innocent and to teach proper behavior. But revenge for its own sake
destroys anyone involved with it. Do you want to end up like Cameron, eaten up by his
own demons, destroying every chance he had for a decent life, knowing what an utter
failure he is?"
"All I want is for someone to pay for what we went through."
"So did Cameron. He had a real grievance against me. But he was willing to
sacrifice the innocent in his attempt to make me pay. That was why I had to destroy
him, as I did. I know that I owed him satisfaction, and in a way he got it. But I
could not let him hurt those who had nothing to do with my crime."
"Ritchie, what Julian is trying to say is that you may end up worse than
Cameron if you don't let it go. And tell me, how terrible it is that I got my head
cut off? Didn't I know from the start that it would end like that? I lost my head,
but escaped the Gathering. The work I was doing, and which I loved, will survive me,
same as Julian. My friends lost me, but they always knew they would, unless they lost
their heads first. My Watcher lost his assignment. He won't be broken-hearted by it.
You lost me, but you can talk to me through my Quickening any time you want. Martha
lost me, true, but she will heal, and let me tell you, Cameron's head will not help
that healing any. My friends' help will. And now Martha can fall in love with a man
who will give her children and will not try to turn her into a vampire to keep her
forever. Julian lost me, but for a few days. Now he is with me again."
"And Duncan did have a couple of bottles for me. For, Ritchie, as I told
Sonny, the song was wrong. There is beer in Heaven."
"That is why they call it Heaven." Duncan laughed. "And that is why I went
there."
"Still, Cameron ought to pay."
"He is paying," Julian said quietly "every day that he gets up at Bates'
Motel and wonders what happened to his life. He has yet to find something to do with
himself, and it may be a long time before he does. I feel very sorry for him."
"All right, all right. I will let him live. But there is no justice in it."
"No, Ritchie, there is no justice. But there is always mercy."
...
"Mr. Ryan? ...Ritchie?" Sonny said, as Ritchie looked into the distance,
from the spot where both Archon and Julian were buried. "I want to thank your for your
decision. I know it was hard for you. All I can say is that I appreciate it from the
bottom of my heart."
Ritchie nodded. "Thank you." He did not turn towards Sonny, but kept watching
the City Lights. "I...I want to thank you too. You told me to reach for Mac, that I
could talk to him through his Quickening. And I did. It reminded me of things that
I choose to forget."
Sonny said nothing. Ritchie had to talk and he was not to interrupt.
"We fight each other to the death. We pretend that it will not happen, but
there is a Gathering waiting for us. In the End, there can be Only One. And if that
means beheading your closest friend, or having him behead you, so be it. Mac's death
means that I will not face him sword in hand, ever. I might face Connor, or Methos,
or Amanda...Mac will never have to face Amanda with a sword now. I might, though.
We are what we are, and we take our comfort along the way by lying to ourselves.
Cameron's actions...that was a crime against the Kindred, not Mac. And it will not
help Mac if I take Cameron's head. As you said, Cameron has no Quickening for me.
And Mac is at peace. He achieved what he wanted. He is with Julian now, and they
found out that there is, indeed, beer in Heaven. You said that Julian looked almost
happy when they shot him. I know that Mac was content, too, when the blade sliced
through his neck. I can mourn his loss, but I cannot rage, not anymore. And I want
to apologize for the way I acted when I came."
"Ritchie, you were hurting. You loved Duncan, as I loved Julian. I know that
pain, and how hard it is to keep it from swallowing you up. You were looking for
someone to blame."
Ritchie nodded. "Yes. I could try blaming it on Mac's vampire friends. HE
would have been better off if he had never met Julian. But that is ridiculous. Julian
and Mac were good friends, and I cannot insult that friendship, even though I was
jealous of it."
Sonny stook closer to Sonny. "Duncan and Julian stood on this same spot quite
often. It is a beautiful view."
"Yes, it is."
Sonny thought of a few moments, remembering the last time he had seen Julian
and Duncan in this same spot, and he had thought he would see them like that forever.
"Julian's friendship with Duncan was something exceptional. I do not think that it
could be repeated. I am not Julian, and you are not Duncan. But still I wish you could
be my friend."
Ritchie turned, and his face broke out into a smile. "I can use a good
friend, Sonny."
Then, side by side, with Sonny's arm around Ritchie's shoulders, they watched
San Francisco glittering in the distance.
