The Royal Advisor
by: Virgo
Chapter 1:
The world passed by in one long blur of blue that meshed into brown, green and mountains speckled with small towns. And as his destination loomed up out of the treetops, he gritted his teeth and dove in a whirl of wood, propellers and roaring engines.
~*~*~*~
It wasn't his first time on the mountain, but unlike the other half dozen times, this was for purely recreational purposes. Don't know why, maybe all that mountain air went to his head in a very odd way.
Sitting against a peculiarly comfortably shaped rock, he prepared for a well deserved lunch.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASCREWYOUALL!"
The is, if he didn't have to scramble for the edge and staring mournfully as the rib he had so painstakingly prepared jumped from his startled hands and tumbled over the side of the ledge.
Gritting vengeful teeth, he reassured his crying stomach that his meal would not have fallen to its messy death in vain and grabbed his spear.
It was close, that much was certain. In fact, it sounded like it was above him. But who else would be on this mountain besides him? Ah well, looks like he'd find out and began his trek up.
He reached the next outcropping in very little time and peered at the perpetrator.
Edge... figures.
With little preamble, he strode purposefully toward the ninja king.
Edge, in the mean time, was preparing for another ear splitting cry. "GODDAMN-OW!" Instead, he jumped as something poked him in the small of the back. Hard. He whirled, enraged. "What the-" Edge's anger faded. Sort of. "Hi, Kain."
"Hi." Came the friendly reply with an unfriendly tone. "Or not. Stop with the annoying racket. I lost my lunch thanks to you."
"You're welcome."
"I'm not grateful."
"Oh. Too bad."
They stood there for a moment.
"What are you doing here, anyway? Screaming, I might added." Kain asked.
"It's very therapeutic."
"Is it?"
"Not really."
"Didn't seem like it."
"Hm." Edge frowned and crossed his arms. "What are you doing here? Still looked to atone?"
"No, actually."
"No?" What a surprise.
"No. I figured three years of wandering, nearly starving to death, being attacked by wild animals, freezing, burning and whatnot was enough atonement. And if the dead don't agree, well... I suppose there's a reason why they're dead now, right?"
"Right... So then what are you doing on Mt. Ordeals?"
"Wandering, nearly starving to death, being attacked by wild animals, freezing, burning and whatnot for the fun of it."
"You have an odd sense of fun."
"So do you."
"How do you figure that?"
Kain pointed down. "The Falcon wasn't there when I started up yesterday so you must've climbed up the cliff." 90 degrees of ragged rock and handholds. "Must've been really motivated."
"Not really. Just had a lot of energy to burn."
"That's a surprise. I thought running a country took up a lot of energy." Cecil always looked so worn out every night.
Edge was silent.
Kain took it as the next part of their conversation. "Why aren't you at Eblan?"
"I really envy you, Kain. You can go and do whatever you want and no one chases after you, saying you have a kingdom to run."
"That's the beauty of not getting into politics."
"I wouldn't doubt it."
Kain looked at him for a long moment.
"...You ran off, didn't you?"
Wow, that made it sound really immature and irresponsible.
"I didn't run off." He snapped. "I... um..."
"...Ran off?"
Edge frowned. So maybe it was immature and irresponsible.
"Why?"
"I hate politics." He kicked at a random, innocent stone. "It's boring and I don't understand it and everyone makes such a big deal out of everything. I mean," he threw his hands in front of him, "what's with all these dumb procedures if all you want to do is open your market to a couple new towns? Everyone's expecting something great from me and I wasn't trained in this! I wasn't even supposed to take the throne until I got married or turned 20!"
Kain looked at him oddly. "So?"
"So? It's so stupid! These guys can't do anything without my opinion and everything I say is wrong! They can do it on their own, I don't care anymore."
"You know, you're being very self-centered about everything, it's surprising Eblan's doing as well as it is."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Edge growled.
I mean that politics is really very simple. You have to do what's best for your kingdom while showing good will and strength to everyone else. Image is everything."
Edge looked at him incredulously. He never heard it said like that before. "How did you figure that out?"
"Oh, I've heard enough complaining from Cecil, Edward, Yang, the previous King Baron... Trust me, visiting old friend-kings after an extended period of absence, they want to fill you in on all the excitement of running a country."
That caused Edge to think. An unsupervised Edge thinking generally lead to something harebrained.
"So..." he said after a while, "why aren't you in politics if you're so 'well versed'?"
"Because politics is bo-" Kain shut his mouth with a click.
"Yes?"
Scowling, he said, "Because politics isn't for me. I need to be out, practicing or something. Not sitting around, listening to other people's-" he shut his mouth again.
Edge nodded. "That'll do."
"Huh?"
"You," he declared, pointing a finger at Kain, "are my new Royal Advisor."
"....HUH?"
"Look, my current advisors think I should already know this stuff and won't take the time to explain it because they're annoyed with my 'ignorance' enough as it is. You know how to say things so I can understand it, you know how I think and we both hate politics for the same reason so we can at least be miserable together."
Kain raised a brow at the logic. "On the other hand, I could leave and you can miserable in politics on your own."
"No, no. You're missing the point."
"There's a point?"
"Look, I know the kind of guy you were before this entire Goblez-Zemus-dark-Kain-side-whatnot happened. With the two of us shit bored, think of all the insane things we'll come up with! We could really liven up the scene!"
"You're a moron, you know that, right?"
Edge gave him his best smile, the kind you practice in the mirror, hoping it'll charm some dumb sod off their feet. "So what do you say?"
"I'm going home." Kain was not that kind of dumb sod.
"C'mon! Think of the benefits! Free food, board, you get paid and the ladies'll think you're shit hot!"
"How many advisors do you know get a lot beautiful women?"
"Ummm...."
"Exactly."
"But they're all old fogies!"
"No, Edge."
"I give you permission to say you know me to pick some up."
"Yeah, right. Then they'd only do that to get to you."
"We could tag-team. I don't mind."
"NO, Edge."
The king grabbed Kain's shoulders and looked as serious as he never had. "I'm begging you, Kain. I need your help, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm worried Eblan will fall because I suck as a king, after I worked so hard to save it."
With great difficulty, Kain shook his head. "I can't, Edge. I wouldn't know what to do myself."
He pulled back. "Fine. If you have to be that way." He pointed down. "Do you know what you're stepping on?"
"?" Kain looked at his feet. A blue cloak with Eblan's royal crest embroidered... Edge must've planned to meditate after his therapeutic scream session. "Oh." Kain winced, remembering how vehement Edge had gotten their quest, claiming it was 'bad juju' or something to meditate on dirty cloth.
With a triumphant and decidedly evil grin, Edge said, "For soiling royal clothe, you'll be punished according to Eblan laws." He appeared to think, but Kain already knew what he'd say. "Appropriate punishment is to become my royal advisor. FOR-" he hastily said as Kain was about to abject, "three months. That's it. Just three months, then you can go and do whatever you want."
"I hate you. I seriously do."
"That's not good advice."
"Just... shut up."
End Chapter 1
by: Virgo
Chapter 1:
The world passed by in one long blur of blue that meshed into brown, green and mountains speckled with small towns. And as his destination loomed up out of the treetops, he gritted his teeth and dove in a whirl of wood, propellers and roaring engines.
~*~*~*~
It wasn't his first time on the mountain, but unlike the other half dozen times, this was for purely recreational purposes. Don't know why, maybe all that mountain air went to his head in a very odd way.
Sitting against a peculiarly comfortably shaped rock, he prepared for a well deserved lunch.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASCREWYOUALL!"
The is, if he didn't have to scramble for the edge and staring mournfully as the rib he had so painstakingly prepared jumped from his startled hands and tumbled over the side of the ledge.
Gritting vengeful teeth, he reassured his crying stomach that his meal would not have fallen to its messy death in vain and grabbed his spear.
It was close, that much was certain. In fact, it sounded like it was above him. But who else would be on this mountain besides him? Ah well, looks like he'd find out and began his trek up.
He reached the next outcropping in very little time and peered at the perpetrator.
Edge... figures.
With little preamble, he strode purposefully toward the ninja king.
Edge, in the mean time, was preparing for another ear splitting cry. "GODDAMN-OW!" Instead, he jumped as something poked him in the small of the back. Hard. He whirled, enraged. "What the-" Edge's anger faded. Sort of. "Hi, Kain."
"Hi." Came the friendly reply with an unfriendly tone. "Or not. Stop with the annoying racket. I lost my lunch thanks to you."
"You're welcome."
"I'm not grateful."
"Oh. Too bad."
They stood there for a moment.
"What are you doing here, anyway? Screaming, I might added." Kain asked.
"It's very therapeutic."
"Is it?"
"Not really."
"Didn't seem like it."
"Hm." Edge frowned and crossed his arms. "What are you doing here? Still looked to atone?"
"No, actually."
"No?" What a surprise.
"No. I figured three years of wandering, nearly starving to death, being attacked by wild animals, freezing, burning and whatnot was enough atonement. And if the dead don't agree, well... I suppose there's a reason why they're dead now, right?"
"Right... So then what are you doing on Mt. Ordeals?"
"Wandering, nearly starving to death, being attacked by wild animals, freezing, burning and whatnot for the fun of it."
"You have an odd sense of fun."
"So do you."
"How do you figure that?"
Kain pointed down. "The Falcon wasn't there when I started up yesterday so you must've climbed up the cliff." 90 degrees of ragged rock and handholds. "Must've been really motivated."
"Not really. Just had a lot of energy to burn."
"That's a surprise. I thought running a country took up a lot of energy." Cecil always looked so worn out every night.
Edge was silent.
Kain took it as the next part of their conversation. "Why aren't you at Eblan?"
"I really envy you, Kain. You can go and do whatever you want and no one chases after you, saying you have a kingdom to run."
"That's the beauty of not getting into politics."
"I wouldn't doubt it."
Kain looked at him for a long moment.
"...You ran off, didn't you?"
Wow, that made it sound really immature and irresponsible.
"I didn't run off." He snapped. "I... um..."
"...Ran off?"
Edge frowned. So maybe it was immature and irresponsible.
"Why?"
"I hate politics." He kicked at a random, innocent stone. "It's boring and I don't understand it and everyone makes such a big deal out of everything. I mean," he threw his hands in front of him, "what's with all these dumb procedures if all you want to do is open your market to a couple new towns? Everyone's expecting something great from me and I wasn't trained in this! I wasn't even supposed to take the throne until I got married or turned 20!"
Kain looked at him oddly. "So?"
"So? It's so stupid! These guys can't do anything without my opinion and everything I say is wrong! They can do it on their own, I don't care anymore."
"You know, you're being very self-centered about everything, it's surprising Eblan's doing as well as it is."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Edge growled.
I mean that politics is really very simple. You have to do what's best for your kingdom while showing good will and strength to everyone else. Image is everything."
Edge looked at him incredulously. He never heard it said like that before. "How did you figure that out?"
"Oh, I've heard enough complaining from Cecil, Edward, Yang, the previous King Baron... Trust me, visiting old friend-kings after an extended period of absence, they want to fill you in on all the excitement of running a country."
That caused Edge to think. An unsupervised Edge thinking generally lead to something harebrained.
"So..." he said after a while, "why aren't you in politics if you're so 'well versed'?"
"Because politics is bo-" Kain shut his mouth with a click.
"Yes?"
Scowling, he said, "Because politics isn't for me. I need to be out, practicing or something. Not sitting around, listening to other people's-" he shut his mouth again.
Edge nodded. "That'll do."
"Huh?"
"You," he declared, pointing a finger at Kain, "are my new Royal Advisor."
"....HUH?"
"Look, my current advisors think I should already know this stuff and won't take the time to explain it because they're annoyed with my 'ignorance' enough as it is. You know how to say things so I can understand it, you know how I think and we both hate politics for the same reason so we can at least be miserable together."
Kain raised a brow at the logic. "On the other hand, I could leave and you can miserable in politics on your own."
"No, no. You're missing the point."
"There's a point?"
"Look, I know the kind of guy you were before this entire Goblez-Zemus-dark-Kain-side-whatnot happened. With the two of us shit bored, think of all the insane things we'll come up with! We could really liven up the scene!"
"You're a moron, you know that, right?"
Edge gave him his best smile, the kind you practice in the mirror, hoping it'll charm some dumb sod off their feet. "So what do you say?"
"I'm going home." Kain was not that kind of dumb sod.
"C'mon! Think of the benefits! Free food, board, you get paid and the ladies'll think you're shit hot!"
"How many advisors do you know get a lot beautiful women?"
"Ummm...."
"Exactly."
"But they're all old fogies!"
"No, Edge."
"I give you permission to say you know me to pick some up."
"Yeah, right. Then they'd only do that to get to you."
"We could tag-team. I don't mind."
"NO, Edge."
The king grabbed Kain's shoulders and looked as serious as he never had. "I'm begging you, Kain. I need your help, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm worried Eblan will fall because I suck as a king, after I worked so hard to save it."
With great difficulty, Kain shook his head. "I can't, Edge. I wouldn't know what to do myself."
He pulled back. "Fine. If you have to be that way." He pointed down. "Do you know what you're stepping on?"
"?" Kain looked at his feet. A blue cloak with Eblan's royal crest embroidered... Edge must've planned to meditate after his therapeutic scream session. "Oh." Kain winced, remembering how vehement Edge had gotten their quest, claiming it was 'bad juju' or something to meditate on dirty cloth.
With a triumphant and decidedly evil grin, Edge said, "For soiling royal clothe, you'll be punished according to Eblan laws." He appeared to think, but Kain already knew what he'd say. "Appropriate punishment is to become my royal advisor. FOR-" he hastily said as Kain was about to abject, "three months. That's it. Just three months, then you can go and do whatever you want."
"I hate you. I seriously do."
"That's not good advice."
"Just... shut up."
End Chapter 1