I'm so nejied
A/N: the same apologies and i am sitting like L from Death Note (i don't own) anyways plz read and enjoy if possible please do review. as i said i own nothing but the plot and my phone... an all those embarrassing pictures of my friends which i am totally going to blackmail. MUAHHAHHHAHAHAH!
"Sakura-chan, just wait 'till I show you my new jutsu!" Naruto yelled in the pinkette's ear.
Bam!
"NARUTO, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO DEAF?" she yelled.
"Hey, Sakura, you broke your record," Kakashi said out of the blue, his nose still in that pervy book of his.
Gosh this team was insane. The sensei being a hentai, a knucklehead and a pedophile-loving comrade, even Sakura wasn't normal; after all she had a voice in her head.
And then, did Kakashi-sensei say that she broke her record?
"How much?" she asked.
"450 meters Sakura-chan!" they heard a voice say from far away.
Right when Sakura was celebrating and doing her happy dance, four figures came. They had a black cloak with red clouds on it.
"Get him," one of them commanded.
"I don't take orders from you, un," another voice said.
"Why?"
"You are an Uchiha," the man shrugged.
"Tobi, let's go, un," the same voice said.
"Hai, Deidara-senpai!" a childish voice yelled, catching the Konoha ninjas' attention.
Sakura, as fast as she could, registered most of them to her comrades.
"Itachi Uchiha, the one standing next to him is probably Hoshigaki Kisame, but who are the other ones?" she asked herself.
The one on the right had a hat covering his features, so it was hard to tell who the hell it was. The other one, the last person in the row, had an orange swirly mask and black hair that was somewhat similar to Naruto's by its spikiness.
"That hurt, un," she heard the mysterious man say. His voice was low and husky, so familiar to her, and yet she couldn't put her finger on it.
Suddenly he took his hat off and then gasps were heard.
"I FREAKING KILLED BOTH OF YOU!" Sasuke yelled.
"Deidara?" Sakura whispered, shocked.
"Yo," he smirked and lunged on his huge clay bird as the masked man appeared behind Kakashi and kicked him.
And so the fight began.
To Naruto and Kisame
"You are a freaking fish! I'm gonna make sushi out of you!" the blonde yelled, pointing his finger at him while Kisame just grinned and held Samehada up.
"Bring it on!" he roared.
"Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto yelled, as thousands of his copies appeared and started kicking and punching him.
The shark-like man just grinned and attacked them.
To Kakashi and Tobi
Well, don't want to get into details because Tobi is being a bad boy.
"NOOOO! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" yeah, yeah I know. Now shut up.
To Itachi and Sasuke
"I killed you once, and I'll kill you again!" isn't Sasuke rather talkative today.
"Hn," Itachi said as he kicked him in the gut and then after jumping a few meters away he used Katon on him.
Good job, Itachi!
And to our bellowed Deidara and Sakura
As Sakura punched the ground with her chakra infused hand Deidara jumped on a tree.
"Impressive, Pinky," he told her.
And then really soon Deidara was behind Sakura and held out a kunai and looked at the other blond.
"Yo, Kyuubi-kid!" he called Naruto.
"Look who I have, un. Now give that fish-assed shark one last kick and let the freaking weasel capture you, un," and with that Naruto did what he was told, not before getting close to the Akatsuki and yelling Sakura to watch him.
"NARUTO YOU BAKA!" was heard before they all got all blurry and stuff and disappeared with Naruto being the shocked one and Sasuke crying.
"I was this close to telling you my feelings!" he yelled while his remaining teammates looked at the duck-ass like haired man told them that he was going to propose to her.
"Naruto," Kakashi said, while Sasuke was sulking in his emo corner (interesting they are in the woods so how? We will never know).
"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Tsunade-same is going to kill you," he said
Naruto's eyes went wide with fear and then he got a shovel from hell-knows-where and started digging.
"Goodbye Ero-sannin, Tsunade-Baa-chan, my bellowed ramen and Ichiraku, Akatsuki, Sasuke-teme, Sai and Kakashi-sensei… oh and I wish Hinata would never have been born so I would've never met her!" he yelled and then covered himself in the dirt… until…
A hand got up from the place where he buried himself.
"Can't breathe!" he yelled and waited for death.
"Fuck my fucking life," he said. Gosh Naruto you sound like Hidan.
"You sound like that freaking Hidan-guy that Shikamaru killed," Kakashi commented.
(O.O he can read my thoughts! RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!)
To Sakura and our four Akatsuki members
"What the heck?" Sakura rose from her bed.
"Wait this isn't my freaking bed!" she yelled waking up the others as well.
They were all on a white beds, which were all in neat rows, in an infirmary kind of room.
Sakura looked at her left where she saw Deidara and Itachi, while on the right side was Tobi and Kisame.
The blonde looked at the pinkette and then after seeing Tobi quickly told her to stay away from the masked man.
"Why?" the pink-haired girl asked.
But the she got her answer quick enough.
"Ooh, who is this cute girl? Tobi is Tobi! Tobi likes candy does Pinky like candy, too? Ooh! Tobi likes ice-cream, too. Senpai can we go and get some ice-cream? Where are we? Is Leader-sama going to be mad at us? Pinky do you know Leader-sama? He is scary, with those piercings and all. Tobi wants some gum, does Itachi-san has gum?" and he ranted and ranted while Sakura slowly went next to Deidara for her own safety. As if on cue Tobi's next subject was horrible.
"Deidara-senpai and Pinky looks cute together! Are you two a couple now? Can Tobi help Pinky pick her dress for her wedding? When is the wedding?"
Sakura went bright red that you actually could think that she was a tomato before I beat the hell out of you!
"Yeah Deidara, you really do look nice with the babe," Kisame commented, grinning.
"Well, for your information, my name is Sakura!" she yelled, but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Well of course we do, we are hot," he said in a really sexy voice that made Sakura blush 20 shades of pink and red.
"No really Kitty, you are hot," he told her right when a woman came in with a few others people. The woman started lecturing them about something that they didn't give a damn about in an unknown language.
A man who could be Kisame's gran-gran-grandpa (btw Kisame is 72 I think, right Nomio-chan?) with a really long beard that was snow white and had a black robe on him and smiled at the girl. And there was a woman who clearly was annoyed and was strict to all people, her lips in a thin line. The last was a man with black hair, black robes and black eyes. The ninjas decided that they don't like that man.
Some strange words were heard; Sakura told them that they didn't understand them.
"Ah, then you might speak the forgotten Japanese, am I right?" he told them while Sakura and Deidara nodded.
"That's much better," Kisame said, grinning.
The nurse gasped and started talking in the language that the shinobi did not understand.
"Well, Poppy asked who cursed you," the old man told them.
The so-called Poppy got out a potion and gave it to the shark-like man, who gave it to Sakura.
"Check it if it is poisoned, Pinky," he told her.
Sakura who smacked him on the head, making Deidara snicker, checked and told them that it wasn't poisoned but had… some things that you wouldn't even consider touching.
"Like what, un?" the blonde asked out of curiosity.
"Like pig's nose and bats' wings," the pinkette answered calmly, giggling at the expression Kisame made. He turned green, literally.
"I'm not drinking it!" he shoved it to the man in black.
In turn, they got more shouts and the old man pulled out a stick and muttered something under his breath.
"What is your problem, boy?" the man in black was yelling.
"Me? A boy? I'm 72 for God's sake!" he yelled while Sakura and Deidara were falling off of the bed, laughing and clutching their stomachs. While Tobi was just sitting there, singing a song about a Sakura tree.
"My name is Dumbledore, I am the headmaster of Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry," the old man introduced himself, while Kisame, Deidara and Sakura laughed even harder, even Itachi gave a low chuckle.
"Yeah, and I'm Deidara who is in love with Itachi, un," Deidara managed to say before started laughing even harder. They, even the pinkette, knew that Deidara absolutely hated him.
"And I'm Sakura, and I despise Tsunade-sama," even more roars of laughter.
"Umm, why are they laughing?" Dumbledore asked.
Sakura who was able to recover told them that there is no magic, all illusion that is genjutsu and ninjutsu. Which Snape frowned at and made another Itachi clone with a stick.
Sakura just made another clone of Snape and grinned victoriously at him, while Deidara used his kekki-genkai and molded a little spider that went next to him and exploded.
"What are you things?" McGonagall asked in rage.
"Shinobi," Deidara shrugged.
The ninjas were used to calling them things and all. After all they are tools for war.
"And you aren't hurt that we are calling you a 'thing'?" Snape asked.
"Well," Kisame began. "We were called worse. After all we are killers."
The room tensed Sakura explained them that every shinobi must kill to survive.
"Besides, they've killed more people than I've saved," she shrugged, when Kisame grinned and Deidara started counting how many he killed.
"I think I've killed about umm, 1000000000, un. You guys, un?"
"I don't know," was the only reply he got.
Dumbledore tried hard not to sweatdrop, Poppy already fainted.
"But why do you kill?" the man asked.
"We live on that, un. We steal, we kill and do the entire dirty job and get paid for it, un. The Kitten works in a hospital, though. She isn't a criminal like us, un," Deidara said.
Suddenly, Dumbledore's eyes started to twinkle.
"Can you shinobi guard?"
"Easy-peasy," was the reply that came from the man-shark.
"Then, there is this boy, Harry Potter. There is this man that is after him, we would like you all to guard the school. In exchange you can live at the school for a year or two," the shinobi just shrugged and agreed.
"Here is his picture," the old man handed them a moving picture and they all started to laugh again.
"What is so funny?" the oh-so-famous McGonagall asked, trying to keep discipline.
"He looks like a freaking Orochimaru who is shaved!" Kisame said between his laughs.
XOXOXO
The room that they were staying in was nice. It was all in black and red, with the hints of pink and yellow. The common room had a few black armchairs and a sofa, while the floor was made from black wood that had a red carpet on it. The walls were black, too just like the ceiling. There was a really royal-looking red curtains above the fireplace and a few deep red bookshelves with thousands of books in it.
Sakura went into all of the rooms and saw that they were all alike. With a king-sized bed that had red covers and black pillows with a desk and a chair. There was a door leading to their own bathrooms that was all black, too.
"Sheesh, it seems that they really like black," She told them after declaring her room as the third to the right.
"Uh-huh," Deidara pouted and picked the one next to Sakura.
"Tobi likes this room!" the masked man ran into a door that was nearest to the exit.
"And the password is lame," Kisame complained.
Yes, in fact it was pretty lame.
"I don't get why we have to say that freaking word, un. The only one who enjoys saying it is Tobi, un. Because he, himself is a monkey," Deidara pointed at Tobi who was running in circles, playing with his 'imaginary' friend, yelling monkey all the time.
Sakura was beyond confused at why she felt at so ease with the nuke-nin. Even if they made a truce, they reminded her of her team. Itachi being the emo idiot, Kisame her perverted sensei, Deidara her knucklehead friend and Tobi… she did not know who he was alike. Maybe a dumber version of Konohamaru would fit him.
But with Deidara she felt more than with ease, she felt like she was at home.
Suddenly, there was that McGonagall in the room.
"The students are gathering, you should head off to meet some of them, especially Harry," the woman told them and left, while Sakura glared daggers at her and told them to go and follow the strict bitch.
XOXOXO
The great hall was really nice. The stormy sky was just beautiful, even if it was a genjutsu.
"Psst," she heard Deidara say.
When she gave him a questioning look he told her that he was bored and wanted to play a prank on them. Sakura, who was also bored, agreed almost immediately. It would be a great entrance to remember.
"Hey, Harry!" a girl called out her friend. She had bushy brown hair that was tied back. She was the Hermione Granger.
"Yeah, 'Mione?"
"Did the Great Hall have a bird in the sky? Especially when it's raining?" she asked.
When the Golden Trio looked at the ceiling and indeed saw a white bird, seeing from its size, it must be very big.
"Welcome!" Dumbledore's voice beamed.
"Welcome for another year at Hogwarts! Seeing that our school is in danger, we hired guards. Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki will look after Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw," two people with a black cloak with red clouds on it.
"Is the blue one jinxed or something?" Ron said in disgust.
"No, I think it's natural because there isn't a spell like that," Hermione answered.
"Deidara and Sakura Haruno-" the Headmaster pointed at a few empty seats and became a bit nervous.
Suddenly the bird started flying to the entrance but suddenly stopped and two figures fell from it, most likely jumped from it. The Trio was able to see that one of them was a female and had a red top and lavender skirt with a dark-green bottom and knee-high boots, what confused the kids most was that the woman had pink hair. The other one however, was more like a man with long blonde hair that was tied in a high ponytail and had the same cloak on. They landed right on the entrance and splinters came from the ground. The students sat there, mouths hanging when they saw that the pink-haired girl was the one who caused the destruction. She smiled at them and the blonde smirked and put his hands in a strange position and yelled something that was like 'KATSU' and then, they saw explosion.
The students clapped their hands and looked at the pair, only to find them in a cool pose. The pink-haired girl was standing, her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face, while the blonde stuck his tongue out and when they saw his hands crossed, they had their own tongues hanging out of them. Some yelled 'cool,' while some yelled 'gross'. And then the unknown people ran so fast to the table where their partners were that they could feel the wind.
Dumbledore cleared his throat once more and continued.
"Thank you for your entrance. Now, as I was saying, this is Deidara and Sakura Haruno, who will watch over Slytherin and Gryffindor."
"Deidara, un. Art is a BANG!" he yelled and you could actually see some girls fainting from his smirk or some who were blushing. The guys sent him death-glares which he happily returned with so much hate that some had a certain pool under them. Deidara just grinned and looked at Sakura who was giggling and agreed with him that art is fleeting. His grin grew wider.
"I'm Sakura Haruno, though call me Sakura and Sakura only," she told them, but before she could continue, she heard some random guy's voice.
"What about hottie?"
"Or sexy?"
She in turn smiled a bit too sweetly and continued.
"Then you'll end up like the floor and Dei-chan won't hesitate to blow you up, ne Dei-kun?"
The blonde in turn only smirked and nodded.
"As I was saying, don't go and ask if my hair color is real or not, 'cuz it is, so deal with it!"
"That is Tobi, he will patrol the outside of the school," was all said before food was on each and every table.
"I wonder how she did that," Hermione said dreamily.
"I'm sure it's magic," Ron replied indifferently.
"No, all of them are muggles, don't you see their clothes? I'm sure they are from Japan. In their History some of them were dressed like Sakura."
"Then what about the others?"
"I'm sure they are in some kind of organization or something. That must be their uniform."
After a few more minutes of eating Dumbledore told them to go and sleep while he had a talk with the shinobi.
"How did you do that?" he asked out of curiosity.
"Umm, chakra infused punch? That's how I actually fight," the pinkette asked a bit awkward.
"Interesting, very interesting," he muttered before the shinobi were off their way.
"Hey, I'm sleepy, un. I'll set some traps on the outside of this school-thingy while you set some on the Gryffindor ones, un. I'm sure I'll be back when you are done," the blonde told his now comrade since he was so not in-friend mode with Itachi and Tobi, and his fighting style became a bit awkward with Kisame as a partner.
"Tobi patrols the area, remember? How about I'll set some on Gryffindor and you on Slytherin?" the pinkette asked as he nodded.
With the Golden Trio
"Did you guys see her legs? They were awesome!" Ron yelled in the common room.
"Yeah, well, can you two pick a different subject? I'm not a lesbian you know?" Hermione fidgeted.
"Oh, sorry 'Mione. But what do you think about that Deidara-guy? Doesn't he have a last name or something?"
"No, he doesn't," a voice that they didn't know answered.
"Oh, Sakura. I was just wondering, how did you do that to the floor?" Hermione asked.
"Curiosity killed the cat, maybe we can chit-chat another time, I have some job to do," she whistled really loud that the whole Gryffindor was now in the common room.
"If you try to sneak out, using anything, don't. Now, if you'll need my help, just tap this," she put a strange looking paper that had something written in old-old-old-old-old Japanese and went out.
"That is the kanji for 'snow'. It seems like she uses old Japanese, interesting," Hermione muttered.
With Deidara
"Now listen brats, who ever dare to go out in the night, will be sorry. Ja ne!" he said right before getting out of the common room that was filled with anger.
In the morning with the Golden Trio
The night had been okay, but everybody was still talking about the new guards.
"He is jinxed I tell you!" Ron yelled.
"Prove it!" was Hermione's attack that was sure that he wasn't.
"Not a single normal person would have that kind of appearances!"
"Uh huh and not a single person would have mouths on their hands!"
"Hey, it's just a kekki-genkai, un," a low voice said from behind them that they all gave a surprised yelp.
The man chuckled and told them that he was born with it just like Kisame.
"Was his mother or father a fish or something?" Ron asked a disgusted look on his face.
"We will never know that," he half pouted.
"Dei, stop that," another female voice said.
"How do you do that?" they asked. It was scaring them.
"We were taught to walk like that, without somebody noticing, though our fellow ninjas know us if we don't mask our chakra," the pinkette replied and led them to the right, where they go to the DADA class.
Right when their curiosity was killing them, they saw Fred and George, both in a really awkward position with knife-like looking things here and there. At the sight of that Deidara fell on the floor, laughing, while Sakura just clicked her tongue and went to them.
"I thought I told you not to get out," she told them.
The twins however were too shocked to answer.
A green light came from the pinkette hand and the bruises were healing quickly, afterwards when everything was okay, picked up all of her kunais and cleaned them up.
"What are you?" George asked, scared even.
"A shinobi, now shoo!" she said before getting up and leading them to the Great Hall. On their way, they saw half of the Slytherin burned here and there. Deidara just gave them his trademark grin.
"Next time, no blowing up," Sakura told him.
Harry who heard her speak, almost sweatdropped.
"Y-You blow people up?" he asked out of disbelief.
"Art is fleeting, un," he told them.
The infamous Golden Trio sweat dropped. It's not like you meet people-blowing maniac always.
"Ugh, Deidara, you scared them!" Sakura scolded her partner.
"So? It's not like I kill my enemies without warning, un. Now, tell me, when we fought did you know that I used explosives?" he got a nod from the pink-haired 'kitten'. "So it means that you knew that I blew people up, so no complaining, un," Deidara shrugged as Sakura just glared daggers at him.
To say that Harry was shocked was an underestimate. He was sure that these 'guards' could take down Dumbledore and Voldemort alone!
"Besides a criminal who isn't a badass is lame, like Tobi, right? Un."
Okay, the trio lost it, they sweat-dropped not in an anime-style.
Hermione's POV
What? The blonde man is a criminal? But I never saw him on Daily Prophet and all those things. These people are weird and that Kisame-guy! I'm sure that Daily Prophet would write about a man if he is born like a freaking fish!
"I wonder right from where Dumbledore hired them," she heard Harry speak, but brushed it off as she saw that platinum blonde hair.
Oh my God, it's him! She yelled at herself.
"I wish I wasn't a mudblood," the girl-now-woman whispered under her breath.
"Don't worry 'Mione, we won't let him near you."
That's the problem, you won't let him near me, she thought.
As if on cue, the famous Malfoy knocked her off.
"Sorry," he mumbled before seeing who he was helping and immediately frowned.
"Mudblood," he said.
"It's so nice to see you burned up," he looked at his clothes and mumbled something like 'stupid new guards, the dementors were much better.' Hermione giggled as he raised an eyebrow at her.
"Well, some of them are nice," she talked about Sakura.
"And some are not, your friends are waiting for you," Draco said right after Ron cleared his throat.
God, it was the longest conversation I had with him and he used the word 'mudblood' only once!
Hermione was so happy that she ran into someone again. When she got up, the girl noted that he was Itachi, the shark-like man's partner.
"I'm sorry," she told him and immediately saw that his eyes were red and had black swirls in it.
"Hn," the infamous Uchiha told her before disappearing to hell-knows-where.
These men were strange, she could bet that for sure.
To be continued…