It's a Dad Thing

Vanessa Fletcher sat in the fourth row of the small recital hall, flanked by her family. To her left sat her husband, and beyond him, their thirteen year old daughter. Felicia's hair was every bit as green as her father's, but sleek and silky of texture; she wore it up in a pony tail, fastened with a purple band and deliberately pulled askew to the left. She still had her father's square nose, but was finally starting to grow into it. Felicia and Ferb were huddled together over the screen of a small, hand-held, FlynnTech F-Pad, and Vanessa looked over and whispered, "Getting anywhere?"

Ferb was fiddling with the touch screen, and Felicia answered, with a groan, "Isaac can't get the uplink to work, and he won't ask his Dad." She punctuated this with a little roll of her eyes all too familiar to her mother. "I told him, it's not his fault he's not the technogeek of the family, but he never listens." At this point, the screen blinked, and up popped the holographic face of a boy, about Felicia's age, with dark hair and a big, pointed triangle of a nose.

"Whew!" his voice came from the device. "Now we're cooking! Thanks, Uncle Ferb." Ferb gave a little thumbs-up in acknowledgement and handed the F-Pad back to his daughter. "How are we for time, Fleece?" Isaac asked her.

"Still on intermission," she answered. "He's the first one after. Did you get everyone else linked up?"

"Yeah, Cousin Fred's got his side all ready to go, and Gram and Grandad are here with us. Looks like we're good for the live feed."

While the cousins chatted quietly, Vanessa turned her attention to the elderly man on her right. He had been bending the ear of the unfortunate woman beside him throughout the intermission, and she could hear his raspy voice blathering happily, "…he's coming on next, you're going to be so impressed! He's a veritable prodigy, and by prodigy, I mean – well, I mean a prodigy, you know, someone who is really good at something…"

"Dad," Vanessa muttered, tapping his arm, "promise me you're not going to do anything embarrassing. Please?"

Heinz Doofenshmirtz looked at his daughter in amazement. "Sweetie, what are you talking about? I'm just here to see my grandson's first piano recital." He turned one more time to his neighbor and remarked, "He takes after me, you know. Well, not musically," he acknowledged, "but…"

"Dad!" she hissed. "Stop annoying people!"

"Who am I annoy-?"

"You're annoying me! Just stop it!" With a sigh, she addressed him in a lowered voice. "Do you remember my first ballet recital?"

"How could I forget," he beamed. "You were so cute in your little fairy costume."

"You stood up and made such a racket, everyone was staring at you. You made a complete spectacle of yourself."

"Well, of course I did," Heinz defended himself. "I was so proud of you! It's a Dad thing."

She still wasn't getting through to him. "Dad, I was mortified, I just wanted to drop through the floor and disappear. I don't want Victor to feel that way."

"Fine," he huffed. "I'll just sit on my hands, I won't make a peep."

"You know I don't mean that," she grumbled. At this point, the house lights started to dim, and she concluded in a whisper, "Just – don't go overboard, okay?"

The piano instructor came out to a light smattering of applause and welcomed them back. "Our next performance will be by Victor Fletcher, who will play for us the Minuet in G and G Minor, by Johann Sebastian Bach." She stepped aside, and a solemn young boy of eight made his way to the piano. He was a bit slight for his age, but his straight posture compensated for it. Vanessa was surprised to feel a tiny drop of moisture in the corner of her eye; he looked so grown up in his button-down shirt and bow tie. His brown hair always had that same charmingly mussed quality as Ferb's, but the rest of him, the pointed nose and jutting chin… well, he was much, much cuter of course, but in all honesty, it actually touched her a little to see how much her son resembled his Grandpa Heinz.

Victor made a little bow before seating himself at the piano, and she saw him take a breath to settle himself as he raised his hands over the keys. As he began the piece, Vanessa noted that all his practice was starting to pay off. His wrists still sagged here and there, but he would quickly catch himself and get them back in the proper position. Tempo was still a little dicey in places, but she knew that was because Victor chafed against the restraints of "that Baroque stuff," as he called it, and would rather have been fooling around with his own improvisations on the melody. Sometimes, she felt just the least bit guilty for pushing him into lessons; he had been content just playing by ear for his own amusement, but he had a real talent, and you had to learn the rules and wade through the "Baroque stuff" before you could become master of the jazz riffs.

Now, he struck the final notes of the Bach piece, and gave a little sigh of relief. The subtle rustle went through the audience preparatory to a polite round of applause – but in the instant just before it began, Vanessa saw the man beside her shoot to his feet. "BRAVO!" he shouted, hands slamming together in thunderous claps above his head, as he beamed with pride and joy. "BRAVISSIMO, VICTOR!"

And every face in the room turned to gawk at the tall, green-haired man with the British accent who was making such a spectacle of himself. Vanessa shook her head in dismay at her husband's shocking outburst, but she couldn't stop smiling at the same time. Victor, dignity still intact, stood up and took his bow – then flashed a little smile and gave his Dad a subtle thumbs-up. Well, thought Vanessa, as long as he didn't mind…

"See, I told you," her father cackled, nudging her with his elbow. "It's a Dad thing!"

THE END

A/N – In the episode, "Finding Mary McGuffin," Vanessa recounts in song the many ways in which her Dad has embarrassed her over the years, including the line, "At my recital you clapped louder than you should." That was the inspiration for this little Vignette. You know which characters belong to Dan & Swampy and which are mine. Felicia and Victor are the only children I have for Ferb & Vanessa, and I knew from his inception that I wanted Victor to resemble Doof. Isaac, of course, belongs to Phineas and Isabella; he is NOT an only child, but I didn't want to get into all that here. He calls his cousin "Fleece" because as toddlers, that's as close as he can get to "Felicia," and it sticks as his nickname for her.

Anyway, it was fun to write.