Author's Notes: (It's Tensei today!) Oookkkiiieee…. I've got like… a
whole other chapter kinda sitting here. This part just kinda happened on a
silly 'lil whim.
Kudos: MAAJORRR Kudos to Marika Webster for helping me with this. I mean… GODS! She worked a lot on the first few paragraphs here, so anything good is hers. XD And… anything good after that is thanks to the lovely lil lesson that she gave me… so either way, I'm gonna have to bake her some cookies now! * grins *
More Shtuff: Okies… just… please review? I've got another chapter sitting here all by it's lonesome… waiting to be read, but I wanna see some reviews first. Sooo…. Get to it! * giggles *
Disclaimer: * clears throat * Um… yeah… I own them! XD * gets chased around by angry lawyers * GAAAAHHHHHHH
Special Notes: Okie… Finally got a title for this darned thing. If it's corny… well, sue me then! It's 2:15 AM and I already used what little brainpower God has granted me just to write this! You'll eventually understand the title anyway, if you don't now.
~*~*~*~*~
Tainted Dream
Prologue
~*~*~*~*~
Darkness. That would be the word man would use for it. The intensity of the sight was vaster than a frail human mind could vaguely comprehend. Darkness. Something to be fear... something negative, not a thing to embrace. No, never dare to embrace the comfort that lay there. That was all that she could see, all she could feel, that palpable darkness, for miles around and years ahead. It was as if someone had snuffed out the only light that she had ever known. The candle that had once burned so brightly had been put out with a strong gust of wind called life, as though at the whimsy of some cruel god reaching it's snowy fingers across the chasm of death to touch life, and hold it, leaving in it's wake only sorrow.
What happened? She couldn't quite remember, wasn't quite sure that she wanted to. She went to sleep, and when she woke up, she was empty. Sure, the fact that her friend left in the first place hurt, but the knowledge that she was never coming back made her very soul cry out for this nightmare to end. This knowledge was the pin that pricked, that soul that cried... it was the same one that bled from the prick of awareness that barreled it's way so acutely through her world.
She had never imagined a life without her best friend. They had been together ever since "birth", and she expected them to be together at death as well. That's why this just didn't process. It… didn't make sense! Solace, it was not part of the deal. Being alone was not part of the deal. Damn it all. Where was the justice now? It all happened so suddenly… That's what they all say, but that doesn't make it any less true. It WAS sudden! One moment, everything is fine. The war is over, and peace reigned once again. But all it took was one moment, the blink of an eye for that airplane to crash into the ocean. How ironic that thought in and of itself that really was. What a fitting death, for a pilot to die in such a manner. And almost as suddenly, upon the heels of that thought, came another. What a beautiful way to die. Flight, freedom, and the freedom of death coming in the midst of that flying liberty. A beautiful way to die, but a horrible way to live for those left behind.
A gentle hand being placed on Musha's shoulder brought her back to reality. The cold, brutal place, where instead of remembering the happy times, you have to press forward. Reality. A barren world, an alien place all it's own. Abstract made concrete... the righteous indignation of the living met with the comfort and solemnitude of the dead. Reality. And Musha hated it.
"It's time to go…" Wufei's voice was uncharacteristically soft. She knew that he was being gentle for her sake, but honestly, that was the worst thing for her. She didn't deal with her emotions gently. No, she remained calm and cool on the exterior, but inside would burn a hateful flame, ready to burst at any enemy that dared challenge her. That was how she survived. And wasn't survival the only point to living?
Musha just took once more glance at herself in the full-length mirror that hung from her door, and nodded, standing up and faced Wufei. He almost flinched when he saw her eyes. They weren't full of sorrow or sadness. No, they were alive with hate and almost determination?
No words were exchanged. The young man just slipped his arm around that of the woman beside him, and led her carefully out to the car. Musha had almost hoped that he would say something, anything! She usually preferred silence, but not when she felt lonely. No, she needed some proof that she was, indeed in the presence of a loved one; she needed to know that there was something left to live for.
Wufei's gaze drifted over to her every few minutes on that dreary ride. The minutes ticked by slowly, painfully dragging out every ounce of silent anguish that would be squeezed from these two grief-stricken souls. The damage had already been done, so what were they dreading so much? Was it the mere thought of having to face scores of attendees, weeping artificial tears merely for the benefit of the true mourners, who they assumed needed sympathy? Or was it the inability to accept what has happened, and bring this ordeal to a close with a dark ceremony, saying final farewells to the departed loved one? What if you weren't ready to say goodbye? What if you would never be ready to say goodbye?
When the car finally stopped in front of the old brick building, Musha snapped out of her daze, and cast her weary gaze outside. It was raining. Tensei had loved the rain. She would stand outside, no matter what the temperature and let herself get soaked from head to toe. She liked to think of it as some kind of divine cleansing, a washing of her bloodstained hands that only God himself could grant.
So maybe… the rain was here to fix God's mistake, to bring Tensei back to her? Musha knew that God made no mistakes, and that was all well and good unless His plan didn't agree with hers.
Forget it. She didn't feel like thinking about that right now. It never helped her to think about things that she had no control over. What was the point in feeling helpless and dependent? Weak…
Once inside of the funeral home, Musha's eyed went wide at the sheer number of people that packed the building. But it wasn't the volume of people that got to her, it was the vast sea of black… Black! Why in the world would people wear black to a funeral? She still didn't understand! Why darken the mood any more? Wasn't there enough gloom in the air?
She shook her head and looked up to Wufei, who had his arm gently resting over her shoulders. She had to admit that amidst all this craziness, shock, sorrow, and just plain wrongness, he gave her hope. She loved him – and not in the way that you might think. She did not love Wufei, the Preventer and former Gundam pilot, she loved Wufei, his soul and the strength that it offered. She had made up her mind days ago that she was going to be all right…
The doors closed behind her, and Wufei ushered her to sit. This was it, the final farewell. But she would be strong, she had been for all of her life, what was going to stop her now?
~*~*~*~*~
Okies… what'd ya think? I need feedback, people! And don't worry, the good stuff comes next chapter. Wufei gets to make a baka of himself. XD Now PLEASE R&R
Kudos: MAAJORRR Kudos to Marika Webster for helping me with this. I mean… GODS! She worked a lot on the first few paragraphs here, so anything good is hers. XD And… anything good after that is thanks to the lovely lil lesson that she gave me… so either way, I'm gonna have to bake her some cookies now! * grins *
More Shtuff: Okies… just… please review? I've got another chapter sitting here all by it's lonesome… waiting to be read, but I wanna see some reviews first. Sooo…. Get to it! * giggles *
Disclaimer: * clears throat * Um… yeah… I own them! XD * gets chased around by angry lawyers * GAAAAHHHHHHH
Special Notes: Okie… Finally got a title for this darned thing. If it's corny… well, sue me then! It's 2:15 AM and I already used what little brainpower God has granted me just to write this! You'll eventually understand the title anyway, if you don't now.
~*~*~*~*~
Tainted Dream
Prologue
~*~*~*~*~
Darkness. That would be the word man would use for it. The intensity of the sight was vaster than a frail human mind could vaguely comprehend. Darkness. Something to be fear... something negative, not a thing to embrace. No, never dare to embrace the comfort that lay there. That was all that she could see, all she could feel, that palpable darkness, for miles around and years ahead. It was as if someone had snuffed out the only light that she had ever known. The candle that had once burned so brightly had been put out with a strong gust of wind called life, as though at the whimsy of some cruel god reaching it's snowy fingers across the chasm of death to touch life, and hold it, leaving in it's wake only sorrow.
What happened? She couldn't quite remember, wasn't quite sure that she wanted to. She went to sleep, and when she woke up, she was empty. Sure, the fact that her friend left in the first place hurt, but the knowledge that she was never coming back made her very soul cry out for this nightmare to end. This knowledge was the pin that pricked, that soul that cried... it was the same one that bled from the prick of awareness that barreled it's way so acutely through her world.
She had never imagined a life without her best friend. They had been together ever since "birth", and she expected them to be together at death as well. That's why this just didn't process. It… didn't make sense! Solace, it was not part of the deal. Being alone was not part of the deal. Damn it all. Where was the justice now? It all happened so suddenly… That's what they all say, but that doesn't make it any less true. It WAS sudden! One moment, everything is fine. The war is over, and peace reigned once again. But all it took was one moment, the blink of an eye for that airplane to crash into the ocean. How ironic that thought in and of itself that really was. What a fitting death, for a pilot to die in such a manner. And almost as suddenly, upon the heels of that thought, came another. What a beautiful way to die. Flight, freedom, and the freedom of death coming in the midst of that flying liberty. A beautiful way to die, but a horrible way to live for those left behind.
A gentle hand being placed on Musha's shoulder brought her back to reality. The cold, brutal place, where instead of remembering the happy times, you have to press forward. Reality. A barren world, an alien place all it's own. Abstract made concrete... the righteous indignation of the living met with the comfort and solemnitude of the dead. Reality. And Musha hated it.
"It's time to go…" Wufei's voice was uncharacteristically soft. She knew that he was being gentle for her sake, but honestly, that was the worst thing for her. She didn't deal with her emotions gently. No, she remained calm and cool on the exterior, but inside would burn a hateful flame, ready to burst at any enemy that dared challenge her. That was how she survived. And wasn't survival the only point to living?
Musha just took once more glance at herself in the full-length mirror that hung from her door, and nodded, standing up and faced Wufei. He almost flinched when he saw her eyes. They weren't full of sorrow or sadness. No, they were alive with hate and almost determination?
No words were exchanged. The young man just slipped his arm around that of the woman beside him, and led her carefully out to the car. Musha had almost hoped that he would say something, anything! She usually preferred silence, but not when she felt lonely. No, she needed some proof that she was, indeed in the presence of a loved one; she needed to know that there was something left to live for.
Wufei's gaze drifted over to her every few minutes on that dreary ride. The minutes ticked by slowly, painfully dragging out every ounce of silent anguish that would be squeezed from these two grief-stricken souls. The damage had already been done, so what were they dreading so much? Was it the mere thought of having to face scores of attendees, weeping artificial tears merely for the benefit of the true mourners, who they assumed needed sympathy? Or was it the inability to accept what has happened, and bring this ordeal to a close with a dark ceremony, saying final farewells to the departed loved one? What if you weren't ready to say goodbye? What if you would never be ready to say goodbye?
When the car finally stopped in front of the old brick building, Musha snapped out of her daze, and cast her weary gaze outside. It was raining. Tensei had loved the rain. She would stand outside, no matter what the temperature and let herself get soaked from head to toe. She liked to think of it as some kind of divine cleansing, a washing of her bloodstained hands that only God himself could grant.
So maybe… the rain was here to fix God's mistake, to bring Tensei back to her? Musha knew that God made no mistakes, and that was all well and good unless His plan didn't agree with hers.
Forget it. She didn't feel like thinking about that right now. It never helped her to think about things that she had no control over. What was the point in feeling helpless and dependent? Weak…
Once inside of the funeral home, Musha's eyed went wide at the sheer number of people that packed the building. But it wasn't the volume of people that got to her, it was the vast sea of black… Black! Why in the world would people wear black to a funeral? She still didn't understand! Why darken the mood any more? Wasn't there enough gloom in the air?
She shook her head and looked up to Wufei, who had his arm gently resting over her shoulders. She had to admit that amidst all this craziness, shock, sorrow, and just plain wrongness, he gave her hope. She loved him – and not in the way that you might think. She did not love Wufei, the Preventer and former Gundam pilot, she loved Wufei, his soul and the strength that it offered. She had made up her mind days ago that she was going to be all right…
The doors closed behind her, and Wufei ushered her to sit. This was it, the final farewell. But she would be strong, she had been for all of her life, what was going to stop her now?
~*~*~*~*~
Okies… what'd ya think? I need feedback, people! And don't worry, the good stuff comes next chapter. Wufei gets to make a baka of himself. XD Now PLEASE R&R