Emmett's POV
I sat on the couch alone. Rosalie was hunting, Alice and Jasper went on another honey moon to Europe, and Esme and Carlisle went to visit the Denali Clan for spring vacation. That left me, Edward and Bella here in Forks. You'd think by now that Edward would give in and make Bella a vampire. We all know he tried living without her and that it didn't work out for him. Oh well, I'll just use human Bella to my advantage. Edward said that he was going hunting soon and that he'd trust me to watch her. They should be here in a couple of minutes.
Edward and Bella pulled into the driveway. I'm so excited I could eat a taco! Oh, wait, I don't eat tacos. I'll just get Bella to eat one. I thought, as Bella stumbled through the door.
She fell...
On her face.
Edward scowled at me for my errant taco thoughts.
"HA! Hahahahahaha! Geez Bella your such a crack up!" By now I was cracking up. If this was sober Bella, I can't wait to see drunk Bella! Oh, good thing Edward is focused on her I wouldn't want him to have heard that. I was rolling on the floor, clutching my sides when I looked up to see Bella, her face redder than a tomatoe! Oh! I should eat a tomatoe... darn I can't. Bella can! This night will be awsome!
Once again Edward scowled at me for another one of my errant food thoughts, this time he added a growl. Sigh, can't he just leave already?
He didn't like that thought one bit. He pranced over to me, uh oh that didn't help either, and had me on the floor with my arm behind my head. "can i help you with something dearest Eddie?" I asked. He pulled my arm further back, "Ok, ok, I give, i give, Christ Edward I said give! UNCLE UNCLE." He finally let up laughing.
I got up and truned to Bella, "Hey Bella, do you like tomatos?" I asked Bella for future references.
She looked at me weirdly, "Yes, I eat them in salad and sometimes on tacos."
Oh snap! Bella eats TACOS!! "Well, I guess I'll go now. Charlie thinks Bella is having a sleep over with Alice. I have my phone, Bella, keep yours on. Emmett, don't do anything I wouldn't do." Edwad glared at me.
"I can't do anything you wouldn't do? Well, Bella, I guess we'll be sitting here on the couch all night making out thanks to Mr. Virginity over there." Edward fumed. Bella blushed, like a tomato. God this girl was a crack up.
"Well, bye Eddie boy! Bag a few grizziles for me!" I shouted as he kissed Bella good bye. "Now, GET OUT!" Edward ran out the door after giving me the "you better not do anything stupider than usual" look. Oh! Something just popped into my tiny brain! BIZNARCHHH! (A/N: My sister came up with that)
"Bella, the new internet sensation and new word in the webster's dictionary is BIZNARCHHH!" I screamed, Bella looked taken aback.
"Okay, whatever you say Emmett. I'm hungry. What's for dinner?" Bella asked.
"TACOS! Come Bella! To TACO BELL! Oh my god! Bella, if you get rid of the "a" at the end of your name, it's Bell, as in Taco Bell! I'm calling you that for now on! I'm so smart." I patted myself on the back. Where did I get this stuff? I made my way out the door after throwing Bella over my shoulder. Why was she yelling and rubbing my back? Was she trying to hit on me? I know I'm a gorgeous being, I mean, if was a burger at McDonald's, I'd be the McGorgeous, but she was my brother's fianceé. Was she crazy? That's when I realized she was hitting me, or at least trying to. She wanted to be put down. Well, I had to since we were at the Jeep. My jeep. Sigh.
"Sit on down Bella. Have no fear, Emmett's here! I'm driving," I said. She looked nervous.
"Fine. Can we listen to the radio?" She inquired. Ooh! I just thought a big word! Rosie would be proud!
"Sure!!" I plugged in my iPod to my giant speakers. Creep, by Radiohead, played first. Edward said it suits me perfect!
I sang loudly to my favorite song.
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
That part makes me think of my beautiful Rosie.
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
That's what Rose tells me every night during our "alone time".
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want Jasper to have control too. Yummy blood.
I want a perfect body
Too late! Ah, I love being a vampire!
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
By this time, I realized that Bella was singing too.
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here
She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
People were staring at us like me belonged in a mental hospital.
We had pulled into Taco Bell by now, and we were just finishing out the song when a brilliant beyond brilliant idea popped into my head. "Hey Bella wanna play a game?"
"What kind of game?" Bella asked suspiciously.
"One where we mess with the cashier."
"Um.... I suppose so."
"Okay first you need to go in there and flirt your little butt off with the dude at the counter. Then I'll sneak into the back and put on a uniform and a clown mask. Then I'll tell him his shift is over and he can leave. I'll convince him to go and you'll say you want to go with him to his place. You'll go and I'll follow behind you in the jeep, when we get to his house you'll go in and sit next to him on the couch. I'll sneak in the back with the uniform from taco bell still on and the clown mask and when he asks what I'm doin there I'll take the mask off and pretend to drop to the floor in a ceasar you'll run and wait in the jeep and when he goes to call the cops I'll make a run for it."
"OhMyCarlisle! That'll be perfect Emmett! Except, we should do it to Mike Newton."
"YEAH, Bella your amazing. That's gonna be awesome! And to top it off we'll frame Tyler Crowely!"
"Emmett you know that song Creep that you sang earlier?" Bella said coyly.
"Yes..." I spoke.
"Well I came up for a version of it for you."
"Okay sing it later. Right now you need tacos!"
We went in Taco Bell and Bella got three grande tacos with everything on them. While she was eating she said "Hey Emmett,"
"Yeah?" I repelied.
"Want to hear that song now?"
"Sure," I anticipated this since she mentioned it. Nobody has ever made a special song for me, except the one Rosie sings to me during our alone time.
When you were pulling pranks before
Couldn't stop laughing at the look in your eye
You're just like an kindergardner
Your actions make me cry
You act like a retard.
And you kill like a grizzly.
You wish you were special
You're not so fucking special
But Emmett's a creep
He's a weirdo
What the hell is he doing here?
He don't belong here
He don't care if it hurts
He wants to have control
He wants to piss off Edward.
He wants to prank us all.
He wanrts you to laugh at his retardedness
You're not so fucking special
You wish you was special
But Emmett's a creep
At this point I was on the floor laughing. Is this what Bella really thought of me or was she being funny?
He's a weirdo
What the hell is he doing here?
He don't belong here
Rose's running out again
She smacked him upside the head
Emmett runs runs runs from Rose
Whatever makes Emmett happy
Whatever Emmett want's
You are so fucking special
Emmett wishes she were that special
But Emmett's a creep
He's a weirdo
What the hell is he doing here?
He don't belong here
He don't belong here
Wow.
Just wow.
Bella. Is. A. Musical. Genius!!
"Did you like it Emmett?" Bella asked.
"Hell yes, Taco Bell!" I said.
We both laughed and then got ready to do the scheme I came up with. Bella got up and walked over towards the cashir gracefully. His eyes got all big and I had to hold my breath to prevent myself from laughing. She started flirtig with him and he got all star-struck, so I decided now was the time to go and sneak behind the counter. I hummed the Mission Impossible theme in my head as I made my was around. I came to an office in the back and found a box of uniforms. I took the biggest one they had and made my way back to the front of the fast food place. Bella saw me and we rushed out of there before the cashier could so much as recover.
"Wait! Here's my phone number!" The cashier yelled as we left.
"Umm, I'm engaged, sorry!" Bella yelled back, stlifling laughter.
He just sighed and mumbled something about this happening everyday. Then he threw off his uniform, leaving him in his underwear and yelled,"I quit! Too many flirts! Too many!!!"
Bella and I jumped into the jeep. We were cracking drove off and stopped at the costume store. We found the most scary clown mask and left the store. We piled into the Jeep. We drove a little ways down and pulled over. I jumped out of the car with the uniform and Bella turned so I could change in vampire speed. I climbed back in and put on the mask. Bella took a pic with her phone and I drove to Mike Newton's house. We parked the car around the corner and went over the plan. Bella jumped out and walked to the front door. Mike answered. He was home alone. Oh this would be good. They went in and I took this as my cue to run to the back of the house. I went in the back door using vampire speed. I saw Mike trying to kiss Bella. Ew. Gross. I walked over silently and landed behind the couch.
I jumped up and said in an scary voice,"Mike, I've come to kill you now!"
MIke jumped and screamed. Bella cracked up. Mike was grabbing the phone, trying to call 911. I think me and Bella are gonna wait so I sat on the couch next to Bella. I can't wait to see Chief Swan. I haven't seen him in a while. This would be pleasant. We heard police sirens and I heard Cheif Swan's voice come through the loud speakers.
"Come out with your hands up!" So Bella and I made our way to the front door. Mike had already ran outside. Cheif Swan took one look at us and sighed. "Emmett, take off the mask and show Mike it's just you." I pulled off the mask and looked at Mike. Bella snapped a picture of him with her camera phone. We were now on the floor laughing.
"Mike, would you like to press charges?" Cheif Swan said hesitantly.
"Duh, they broke into my house and I freakin' wet my pants!" Mike said. EW! He wet his pants! That made Bella and I laugh louder as Cheif Swan put the handcuffs on us reluctantly and put us in the back of the cruiser. We drove to the station in silence. Me and Bella were still trying hard not to laugh. We got to the station and Cheif Swan put us in a cell. We laughed even harder and took pictures of us in their with her phone. Cheif Swan sighed.
"Bella, Emmett, you each get one call. Use Bella's phone and call someone." The cheif sighed. I got Bella's phone and called Edward.
He answered, "What did you do Emmett?"
"Well, you see me and Bella got arrested."
"What! Why! Rosalie! We have to leave! Emmett and Bella got arrested." I heard my Rosie laughing. "Were on our way, Emmett." He hung up. Wow. I'm in trouble.
A little while later, Edward and Rosalie arrived. Cheif Swan looked smug.
"How much to bail them out?" Edward asked, clearly agitated.
"Um, five thousand each. They have a court hearing later this week." Cheif Swan said.
"What did they do?" Rosalie asked.
"Broke into Mike Newton's house. Emmett put the mask on and show them." The Cheif sighed.
I put on my mask. " Mike even wet his pants!" Bella and I laughed again. Edward payed the money and we left. But not without Cheif Swan calling Mike and convincing him to drop charges. Rosie got my car and we all drove home. I can't wait to tell Carlisle and Esme!