James,
This time is the last time I'll ever bother you. I just really wanted to say that I'm sorry. I just wish that things could have been different. Don't reply because I won't read it. It pains me too much to think about everything that has happened. You probably don't know about most of it and it's probably better if we keep it that way. It hurts me to say goodbye completely, but I think it might help the situation. It's been hard for me to just watch us go our separate ways and I just can't deal with it anymore. I've thought about it for quite a while and I should have done this a long time ago. I know that I can't forget everything and I can't forget you, but I need to do everything within my power to put this behind me. I know you're way past this and that you don't know about it all, but if you did, I know that you would probably think this was best. It's mostly my fault. I feel like I brought it upon myself. To some degree I did. Things could have been great and I can't help but feel like I screwed it up. I don't know your stance on things and even if you knew everything that happened, I don't know what you would think of it. You don't even know half the things that went on. I've focused so much of my energy into trying to figure everything out, but I found all of my efforts useless. Some of the things just seemed completely out of character. I don't understand it and I don't think I ever will. You're probably wondering the whole point of this letter. I wouldn't blame you because most of this is my strange rambling. I guess this is kind of a goodbye. The longer I am in any way near you, all the pain comes back, as do the tears. I can't continue trying to change things when I know that in the end it's just going to hurt me more and more. I guess my point is that I need to try to completely erase all of my memory of what happened. I wouldn't blame you for hating me or if you had no clue what was going on. I'm sorry for how poorly this letter is written. I just can't think straight. There's so much I need to say to you, but I'm just not sure how to say it. If my letter still confuses you then I should probably just sum it up into this. I'm sorry for everything. Goodbye.
-A.M.S.