Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Gainax. Don't own Evangelion. Don't sue.
Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at a self-insert fanfiction. I'm
going for an unusual approach. I've read stories where various beings took
residence inside Shinji's head. They include God, Asuka, an Angel, his
mother, and Cupid. I would like to try to put me inside Shinji's brain.
By the way:
[This is thought]
"This is speech."
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This Way to Happiness
By FinalMax
A Richter Scale Production
Prologue: One Dark and Stormy Night
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
*The Evening Before the "Over the Rainbow" Incident: Shinji's room*
As Shinji lay in bed in his darkened room, he couldn't help but to reflect
upon the events that led to this moment. He listens to track 26 on his
SDAT, his favorite song for reflection. Like countless nights before, he
wonders if he really made the right choice by staying in Tokyo-3. Let's go
see what he's thinking about right now.
[Just think, tomorrow, I'll be out of town. Sure, it's just to pick up
Unit 02 and the Second Child, but I'd rather be there than stuck at NERV
for one of Ritsuko's tests. I wonder what the Second is like. I think
Misato said that the pilot is another girl and that her name is Asuka
Langley Sohryu. I hope I make a good impression with her so she'd like me.
What am I thinking? I haven't even met her, and I'm already hoping she
doesn't hate me the moment she sees me! I am so pathetic . . .]
*Meanwhile, in our universe*
(To myself) "Damn thunderstorms, they just have to strike when I'm trying
to get some sleep. Oh well, at least I can expect some interesting dreams
tonight. I don't know why they always happen during these things. I just
hope that it's pleasant and that I'll remember it in the morning."
CRRASH! A bolt of lightning struck the ground, just inches away from my
bedroom window. Fortunately, I was already asleep
*Back to Shinji's Room: in fact, inside Shinji's head*
Shinji: " . . . I am so pathetic, aren't I?"
Me: "I wouldn't know; I just got here."
Believe me when I say that I was just as surprised as Shinji. I had no
damn clue what was going on. I didn't know if I was dead or what. Maybe I
was dreaming again. Every time there's a thunderstorm, I have very bizarre
dreams. I can partially explain why, but it's still strange. Anyways, it
was safe to say that Shinji was slightly disturbed by my presence.
Shinji: "WTF? Who or what the hell are you?"
Me: "Calm down man. My name is Kurt. I'm a human being like you, I
think. Anyway, who are you and where am I?"
Shinji: "Well, my name's Shinji Ikari, and as to where you are, I
think you are in my mind. Oh no! Have I finally gone insane?"
Me: "I don't think so; this happens to me every once in a while.
Although, this is the first time I've actually made contact with
another person."
Shinji: "Just what the hell are you talking about?"
Me: "Sorry, I'll explain. I am an empath. I have the unique
ability to sense emotions from other people, and I even sense the
feelings people hide from each other. Sometimes, I am able to go
beyond that and actually experience things from another's perspective.
This usually happens when I am asleep during a thunderstorm. I know
this because I am never in the dream. I'm more or less observing the
dream, while able to sense everything within from the person I share a
mind with. I've never been in direct contact with my 'link' before,
so I've never found out if I've experienced a conscious action, a
dream, or a memory. So, uh, where are we and what year is it?" I had
a clue where I was when Shinji told me his name, but I had to make
sure.
Shinji: "We're in Tokyo-3, and the year is 2015. Is that helpful?"
My hopes have just been confirmed. I'm going to have a lot of fun here. I
wonder how long I'll be allowed to stay this time. I'd honestly like to
see the world of Evangelion from the real front row seats; I can even see
the things in between all the episodes. And besides, with my knowledge of
what happens in the series, I could help him out. Hey, he deserves a few
good moments, and we can all use a few more laughs.
Me: "Yep. That helped me more than you'll ever know. So, what do
you do here?" (As if I didn't already have an idea.)
Shinji: "I work for my father's organization, NERV. More
specifically, I pilot this thing called the Evangelion. It's this
giant living robot that was built for fighting monsters called Angels.
Sound's crazy, huh?"
Me: "I don't know, I've heard of weirder things. I've got an idea.
Is it okay if you turn a light on or something? I want to take a good
look at this place. Is it all right if I look around your memories
for a bit? I promise I won't try to bring bad ones up to the
surface."
Shinji: "Sure. I'm going to get something to drink anyways, so have fun."
*Back to the Apartment*
As Shinji left his room, I started to rummage around in his head for his
memories. I think I took a left when I should have taken a right, because
I somehow ended up at his hypothalamus, the control center for Shinji's
body. While interesting and possibly useful to know, I figured that it
just wasn't right to stay there. After looking at the map of Shinji's
brain, I took the most direct path to his optical center. Hey, I might as
well know what's going on around my host.
Me: [Damn, I can't get any sound in here. Maybe I should have
stayed in the control center. At least I get a view of 20/20 vision
around here. Looks like he's getting something to drink.]
Shinji reached into the refrigerator, looking for some juice before he
realized that there wasn't any. I noticed, however, that there really was
fifty gallons of beer. It was truly a sight to behold. Anyways, Shinji
then went to the sink to get himself a glass of water. I decided to ask
him some more questions.
Me: "Hey, Shinji. I was wondering, where is everyone? I noticed
that this place is kind of dark. I seriously doubt that you live here
by yourself. Is this place an apartment or a guest house?"
Shinji: "This is an apartment. You're right; I don't live by myself.
I live with Misato Katsuragi, operations director at NERV. I don't
think she's here right now."
Me: "What's this Misato like? Is she nice and quiet, or is she a
little rude and noisy?" [I already know quite a bit about her, but I
think I should get his opinion of her.]
Shinji: "Misato's a bit of everything you've asked. There are times
when she's quiet and considerate, and then there are times when she's
the most out of control tease I've ever met. She means well. I know
she just wants me to feel good about myself. She can beat anyone at
'Paper, Rock, Scissors.' She pretends to be all confident and
cheerful, but I know better. She gets depressed, just like me. I've
seen her get upset at me, although I cannot blame her. She wanted me
to follow her orders, but I didn't listen. I had my reasons though."
Me: "Oh, tell me about it."
Shinji: "My friends were in the entry plug with me while I fought
the Fourth Angel. Misato wanted me to retreat, so they'd be somewhere
safer. I was afraid that I couldn't get them to safety in time, so I
fought the Angel. I killed it right as Unit 01 ran out of power. She
was pissed that I disobeyed her orders, and chewed me out for it. I
still felt guilty about something that happened earlier to me, and the
pressure just got to me. I ran away shortly after that. But you
should know that already, since you were looking through my memories."
Me: "Well, I didn't exactly find where you keep your memories, so I
didn't know about it. Thanks for telling me. I understand how
difficult it is to recall bad memories. And, thanks for not
dismissing me as a delusion."
Shinji: "Don't worry about it. After spending some time fighting
building-sized monsters, you begin to believe anything's possible."
He took a drink from his glass before heading back to his room.
Me: "Well, tell me some more things about your time here in Tokyo-3.
I'd also like to know what you hope for in the future."
Shinji: "Ok, I think it'll be good to talk some more. Now, where
to begin . . ."
He then told me about how he first arrived there, his interaction with
people at school, the enigma known as Ayanami Rei, and his hopes for the
future. I really have to admire how he holds on to the hope that his
father will be a part of his family again. Even more impressive is his
hope to have friends and the one thing that all of us look for, love. I
can't help but wish to help him out, you know.
Shinji: ". . . and that's about it. Tomorrow, we're going to pick
up the Second Child and Unit 02. I just hope I can make a good first
impression. Well, it's late, so I think I'm going to listen to some
music before going to sleep. Do you have a favorite kind of music
that I could have played for you? Since you might be here for a
little bit longer, I think I should be at least a little hospitable
for my guest."
Me: "Thanks, but I honestly don't know what you have to work with.
I'll tell you if there's something I might like. I have this strange
feeling that you don't have some good, old-fashioned, rock and roll in
your collection, right? Anyway, just listen to what makes you feel
good."
Shinji: "You're right; I don't have rock and roll. Thank you for
being understanding. Well, either I'll speak to you in the morning,
or I won't. Either way, good night, Kurt."
Me: "Good night, Shinji. Shinji, if I'm still here in the morning,
I'll do what I can to help you out with any problems that may occur
for you."
Shinji: "Why do you want to help me?"
Me: "Because I know what it feels like to be alone. Maybe I can
help you sort out your feelings for others or help you understand
their feelings. You deserve to be happy, so I'm going to help you
find it."
Shinji: "Thanks, Kurt. When you put it that way, I hope you'll be
here in the morning."
Me: "I hope so too, Shinji. I hope so too."
As Shinji fell asleep, I looked around in his memories to find any happy
moments in his life. It was depressing to see how few of those he really
had, but at least he had some. I then listened to the music playing in
Shinji's head, obviously from his SDAT player. I could clearly recognize
the 'Moonlight Sonata' playing in his head.
As I listened to the serene tones of the sonata, I looked at the plain of
his dreamscape to see a mysterious sight. I could see a small child
running towards a woman with midnight blue eyes and shoulder-length brown
hair. The look on the child's face was one of innocence and joy, as was
the look on the woman. As the song wound down, I heard the woman say,
"That's a good boy, Shinji. Mommy's so proud of you. You ran all the way
here without falling." I could tell that this is his most precious memory,
one that he recalls every Friday night. After all, it was Friday, and
Friday is Beethoven Day.
To Be Continued.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I don't know why I made this be a prologue; I just felt like it. I have
this strange feeling that this may last a long time. Maybe I'm just going
crazy. I'm not sure how long the next chapter is going to be. C+C will be
appreciated. I intend on this being a humor/romance story, but that may be
subject to change.
Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at a self-insert fanfiction. I'm
going for an unusual approach. I've read stories where various beings took
residence inside Shinji's head. They include God, Asuka, an Angel, his
mother, and Cupid. I would like to try to put me inside Shinji's brain.
By the way:
[This is thought]
"This is speech."
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This Way to Happiness
By FinalMax
A Richter Scale Production
Prologue: One Dark and Stormy Night
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
*The Evening Before the "Over the Rainbow" Incident: Shinji's room*
As Shinji lay in bed in his darkened room, he couldn't help but to reflect
upon the events that led to this moment. He listens to track 26 on his
SDAT, his favorite song for reflection. Like countless nights before, he
wonders if he really made the right choice by staying in Tokyo-3. Let's go
see what he's thinking about right now.
[Just think, tomorrow, I'll be out of town. Sure, it's just to pick up
Unit 02 and the Second Child, but I'd rather be there than stuck at NERV
for one of Ritsuko's tests. I wonder what the Second is like. I think
Misato said that the pilot is another girl and that her name is Asuka
Langley Sohryu. I hope I make a good impression with her so she'd like me.
What am I thinking? I haven't even met her, and I'm already hoping she
doesn't hate me the moment she sees me! I am so pathetic . . .]
*Meanwhile, in our universe*
(To myself) "Damn thunderstorms, they just have to strike when I'm trying
to get some sleep. Oh well, at least I can expect some interesting dreams
tonight. I don't know why they always happen during these things. I just
hope that it's pleasant and that I'll remember it in the morning."
CRRASH! A bolt of lightning struck the ground, just inches away from my
bedroom window. Fortunately, I was already asleep
*Back to Shinji's Room: in fact, inside Shinji's head*
Shinji: " . . . I am so pathetic, aren't I?"
Me: "I wouldn't know; I just got here."
Believe me when I say that I was just as surprised as Shinji. I had no
damn clue what was going on. I didn't know if I was dead or what. Maybe I
was dreaming again. Every time there's a thunderstorm, I have very bizarre
dreams. I can partially explain why, but it's still strange. Anyways, it
was safe to say that Shinji was slightly disturbed by my presence.
Shinji: "WTF? Who or what the hell are you?"
Me: "Calm down man. My name is Kurt. I'm a human being like you, I
think. Anyway, who are you and where am I?"
Shinji: "Well, my name's Shinji Ikari, and as to where you are, I
think you are in my mind. Oh no! Have I finally gone insane?"
Me: "I don't think so; this happens to me every once in a while.
Although, this is the first time I've actually made contact with
another person."
Shinji: "Just what the hell are you talking about?"
Me: "Sorry, I'll explain. I am an empath. I have the unique
ability to sense emotions from other people, and I even sense the
feelings people hide from each other. Sometimes, I am able to go
beyond that and actually experience things from another's perspective.
This usually happens when I am asleep during a thunderstorm. I know
this because I am never in the dream. I'm more or less observing the
dream, while able to sense everything within from the person I share a
mind with. I've never been in direct contact with my 'link' before,
so I've never found out if I've experienced a conscious action, a
dream, or a memory. So, uh, where are we and what year is it?" I had
a clue where I was when Shinji told me his name, but I had to make
sure.
Shinji: "We're in Tokyo-3, and the year is 2015. Is that helpful?"
My hopes have just been confirmed. I'm going to have a lot of fun here. I
wonder how long I'll be allowed to stay this time. I'd honestly like to
see the world of Evangelion from the real front row seats; I can even see
the things in between all the episodes. And besides, with my knowledge of
what happens in the series, I could help him out. Hey, he deserves a few
good moments, and we can all use a few more laughs.
Me: "Yep. That helped me more than you'll ever know. So, what do
you do here?" (As if I didn't already have an idea.)
Shinji: "I work for my father's organization, NERV. More
specifically, I pilot this thing called the Evangelion. It's this
giant living robot that was built for fighting monsters called Angels.
Sound's crazy, huh?"
Me: "I don't know, I've heard of weirder things. I've got an idea.
Is it okay if you turn a light on or something? I want to take a good
look at this place. Is it all right if I look around your memories
for a bit? I promise I won't try to bring bad ones up to the
surface."
Shinji: "Sure. I'm going to get something to drink anyways, so have fun."
*Back to the Apartment*
As Shinji left his room, I started to rummage around in his head for his
memories. I think I took a left when I should have taken a right, because
I somehow ended up at his hypothalamus, the control center for Shinji's
body. While interesting and possibly useful to know, I figured that it
just wasn't right to stay there. After looking at the map of Shinji's
brain, I took the most direct path to his optical center. Hey, I might as
well know what's going on around my host.
Me: [Damn, I can't get any sound in here. Maybe I should have
stayed in the control center. At least I get a view of 20/20 vision
around here. Looks like he's getting something to drink.]
Shinji reached into the refrigerator, looking for some juice before he
realized that there wasn't any. I noticed, however, that there really was
fifty gallons of beer. It was truly a sight to behold. Anyways, Shinji
then went to the sink to get himself a glass of water. I decided to ask
him some more questions.
Me: "Hey, Shinji. I was wondering, where is everyone? I noticed
that this place is kind of dark. I seriously doubt that you live here
by yourself. Is this place an apartment or a guest house?"
Shinji: "This is an apartment. You're right; I don't live by myself.
I live with Misato Katsuragi, operations director at NERV. I don't
think she's here right now."
Me: "What's this Misato like? Is she nice and quiet, or is she a
little rude and noisy?" [I already know quite a bit about her, but I
think I should get his opinion of her.]
Shinji: "Misato's a bit of everything you've asked. There are times
when she's quiet and considerate, and then there are times when she's
the most out of control tease I've ever met. She means well. I know
she just wants me to feel good about myself. She can beat anyone at
'Paper, Rock, Scissors.' She pretends to be all confident and
cheerful, but I know better. She gets depressed, just like me. I've
seen her get upset at me, although I cannot blame her. She wanted me
to follow her orders, but I didn't listen. I had my reasons though."
Me: "Oh, tell me about it."
Shinji: "My friends were in the entry plug with me while I fought
the Fourth Angel. Misato wanted me to retreat, so they'd be somewhere
safer. I was afraid that I couldn't get them to safety in time, so I
fought the Angel. I killed it right as Unit 01 ran out of power. She
was pissed that I disobeyed her orders, and chewed me out for it. I
still felt guilty about something that happened earlier to me, and the
pressure just got to me. I ran away shortly after that. But you
should know that already, since you were looking through my memories."
Me: "Well, I didn't exactly find where you keep your memories, so I
didn't know about it. Thanks for telling me. I understand how
difficult it is to recall bad memories. And, thanks for not
dismissing me as a delusion."
Shinji: "Don't worry about it. After spending some time fighting
building-sized monsters, you begin to believe anything's possible."
He took a drink from his glass before heading back to his room.
Me: "Well, tell me some more things about your time here in Tokyo-3.
I'd also like to know what you hope for in the future."
Shinji: "Ok, I think it'll be good to talk some more. Now, where
to begin . . ."
He then told me about how he first arrived there, his interaction with
people at school, the enigma known as Ayanami Rei, and his hopes for the
future. I really have to admire how he holds on to the hope that his
father will be a part of his family again. Even more impressive is his
hope to have friends and the one thing that all of us look for, love. I
can't help but wish to help him out, you know.
Shinji: ". . . and that's about it. Tomorrow, we're going to pick
up the Second Child and Unit 02. I just hope I can make a good first
impression. Well, it's late, so I think I'm going to listen to some
music before going to sleep. Do you have a favorite kind of music
that I could have played for you? Since you might be here for a
little bit longer, I think I should be at least a little hospitable
for my guest."
Me: "Thanks, but I honestly don't know what you have to work with.
I'll tell you if there's something I might like. I have this strange
feeling that you don't have some good, old-fashioned, rock and roll in
your collection, right? Anyway, just listen to what makes you feel
good."
Shinji: "You're right; I don't have rock and roll. Thank you for
being understanding. Well, either I'll speak to you in the morning,
or I won't. Either way, good night, Kurt."
Me: "Good night, Shinji. Shinji, if I'm still here in the morning,
I'll do what I can to help you out with any problems that may occur
for you."
Shinji: "Why do you want to help me?"
Me: "Because I know what it feels like to be alone. Maybe I can
help you sort out your feelings for others or help you understand
their feelings. You deserve to be happy, so I'm going to help you
find it."
Shinji: "Thanks, Kurt. When you put it that way, I hope you'll be
here in the morning."
Me: "I hope so too, Shinji. I hope so too."
As Shinji fell asleep, I looked around in his memories to find any happy
moments in his life. It was depressing to see how few of those he really
had, but at least he had some. I then listened to the music playing in
Shinji's head, obviously from his SDAT player. I could clearly recognize
the 'Moonlight Sonata' playing in his head.
As I listened to the serene tones of the sonata, I looked at the plain of
his dreamscape to see a mysterious sight. I could see a small child
running towards a woman with midnight blue eyes and shoulder-length brown
hair. The look on the child's face was one of innocence and joy, as was
the look on the woman. As the song wound down, I heard the woman say,
"That's a good boy, Shinji. Mommy's so proud of you. You ran all the way
here without falling." I could tell that this is his most precious memory,
one that he recalls every Friday night. After all, it was Friday, and
Friday is Beethoven Day.
To Be Continued.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I don't know why I made this be a prologue; I just felt like it. I have
this strange feeling that this may last a long time. Maybe I'm just going
crazy. I'm not sure how long the next chapter is going to be. C+C will be
appreciated. I intend on this being a humor/romance story, but that may be
subject to change.