A/N: So here we are, we have finally reached Breaking Dawn. I know many of you were disappointed/angry/kind of scary in regards to how the Eclipse version ended. But I will reiterate that I have a master plan here and half way through this fic you guys will see the method to my mad plan and hopefully understand why I did what I did in the Eclipse version. Mackenzierose157 offered me two really nice suggestions so I'm giving credit where's its due, I added onto and slightly adjusted the title she suggested, but thank you Mackenzierose157 for your suggestion. We'll hopefully be on a similar schedule with this fic of once a week possible every other week, I have certain parts of this fic written, but they are scattered, for example I have a great scene written towards the end, but have to fill in the middle parts. This first chapter, at least half of it was originally the actual ending for the Eclipse version, but when I was reading it over it made more sense to put it as the first chapter for Breaking Dawn. So I hope you guys enjoy this. I said it in the beginning of Shadow of the Moon and I'll reiterate it here Thank you everyone for your continued support and acknowledgement of these fics, it really means a lot to me that Chris is so well received in the Twilight community. Till next update! Glad to see you all again!

The days that followed the battle did so in a blur. I didn't speak, I barely moved. I know the whole family was concerned and desperate for extra help, but I felt like I was watching all of this concern from afar, a spectator not part of the "play".

Right after the battle, Emmett brought me into the house and gently put me on the couch, Esme was right behind him. She had insisted that Carlisle go check on Jacob, promising him that her and my siblings would take care of me until he got back, he was reluctant, but complied.

There wasn't much for them to take care of though, they tried everything to get me to acknowledge them, talk, even look at them instead of staring straight ahead at the wall. Believe me I wanted to. I wanted nothing more than to accept Esme's arms around my shoulders, lean in close to my mother and be comforted.

The problem was, I couldn't move, I seriously had no control over my body, my mind was there, but that was it. Even when Emmett stepped in front of me trying to catch my attention, I stared right through my brother as if he wasn't there. Jasper must have tried reading my emotions, because I could see the frustration on his face…he got nowhere either.

Let me tell you it sucks seeing all this going on around you and not being able to react, not being able to do anything. I'm not even sure how it happened or why.

In the end, Esme put on a cricket match and sat with me on the couch as we waited for Carlisle to get back. Every once in a while she would reach over, tuck a piece of my unruly hair behind my ear and cradle me close,

"Christian, sweetie, talk to me please?" Esme cooed "please Christian, come back to me."

I'm trying mum, I really am, I thought, it was all I could do.

Everyone took time to sit with me, giving Esme a break, Carlisle tried everything he could to break my space out, but he realized quickly that this wasn't one of my normal space outs, nothing he did could snap me back.

This went on for nearly a week, nothing changed and it reached the point where the concern for me was so overwhelming that my parents drove me north to Alaska.

Despite our disagreement regarding the pack, Tanya's only concern was for me, even Irina was able to put aside her anger, especially after the desperate phone call they must have received from Esme about what had happened. Though Irina was nowhere to be found when we arrived, she had sent her sympathies to Carlisle to give to me.

Esme kept me held close as Tanya pulled open the door. Whatever she had been expecting, was not what she was presented with as she stared at my dead expression. She reached out to hug me and for the first time in knowing the Denali clan my body flinched at her touch, as if I had been burned, as if Kate had shocked me with her ability, that was when Tanya realized that Esme and Carlisle had not been exaggerating, that something was in fact seriously wrong.

Esme guided me into the house and sat me down on the couch. Tanya quickly joined us, putting me in the middle of them, Tanya continued to glance at Esme for an explanation. I don't know how much the Denali clan had been told, but the whole story was about to come out

Eleazar glanced my way first cautiously, before turning to look at Carlisle, who stood near the open fire, his hand on the mantle, staring into the flames.

"Carlisle, what happened, friend?"

As Carlisle began telling the whole story, Tanya moved closer, hugging me tight, Kate and Carmen stood behind the couch and kept their hands on my shoulder, while Carmen kept one hand on Esme's shoulders.

For their own reasons, our cousins have more hatred towards the Volturi then we Cullens could even imagine having, granted we disliked the Volturi's means of authority and power hunger, even their methods for how things are handled, but up until now we did not hate them.

Carmen and Eleazar had experienced the Volturi's ruthlessness and cruelty first hand and Tanya, Irina, and Kate, had been orphaned by the Volturi when their mother had been executed for creating and sheltering an immortal child, long before Carlisle had met the girls.

"Oh Chris," Carmen cooed, she leaned over and hugged me tight. I couldn't return the gesture I wanted too, but it felt like all the strength had been sucked from my body.

"That little bitc-" Tanya started to say when Esme and Carmen shook their heads, but she wasn't going to apologize, she was being blunt and it was necessary. "She did it only to hurt him, to cause this, exactly what he is going through right now is more than she can ask for. Uphold the law bull. If she can't have Chris's love then no one can, and she is perfectly happy with causing him as much pain and grief as she can, she's punishing him. Aro's friendship with Carlisle is the only reason she hasn't tried to eliminate all of you, or even just one of you, that would be the ultimate pain and she knows he would never recover from that and that would be her greatest victory."

I felt Eleazar coming closer to me and he looked into my eyes, the normal Chris would have wiggled away from his gaze, or averted his eyes…sometimes the best way to profile someone is by studying their eyes, and since I try to avoid letting people profile me, I get uneasy about letting them look into my eyes and avoid it, but the me that was sitting here didn't do any of that, I couldn't for that matter, I seriously had no control over my own body, I was running on autopilot.

"Carlisle how long ago was the battle?"

"Nearly a week,"

"He hasn't hunted I'm assuming. His eyes are nearly black, I don't think I have ever seen them get this dark blue before."

"He wont move, he hasn't spoken since that night." Esme sobbed "we've tried everything we can think of, but we can't reach him."

"He loves it up here, Alaska has always been one of Chris's favorite places and we hoped that by bringing him here it might help, it's some sort of shock, I've never seen anything like it and I…I do not know what I can do to help him." Carlisle added.

I could hear it in his voice, he felt helpless, I never meant for my father to feel that way, I never meant to hurt my parents…I was the one being selfish now…

Carlisle, I'm sorry, dad please, I'm so sorry this isnt your fault, please…please forgive me. I'm here, I'm trying to come back. In my mind I yelled this to him, but of course my body didn't respond, it wouldn't respond, I felt like I was trapped in my own body…not a pleasant feeling

"He was willing to join the guard to protect the girl." Esme added pushing back my bangs. Eleazar looked at Carmen and Kate, Carmen must have understood Eleazar's silent command, because she stood up and looked at Kate.

"Kate, why don't we take Chris upstairs, we have a room all set up for him, its overlooking the mountains we know how much he loves them." Carmen suggested and Esme nodded. I felt Carmen's arms under my own as she pulled me off the couch. Esme held onto my arm for as long as she could, before I was finally out of her grasp.

Carlisle

I watched slowly as Carmen and Kate led Chris up the stairs, watching him move so painful was agonizing, especially knowing that there was nothing I could do to make it all better. My son needed me to step in and fix everything and unfortunately I could not.

"Carlisle, I did not realize how serious this was." Eleazar said softly I looked at the fire once more, before turning to my old friend.

"Can you tell us what happened before the Volturi showed up?" Tanya asked, I glanced over at Esme who was focused on the stairs. I know she wanted nothing more than to rush up stairs and hold Chris, try to comfort him. Unfortunately we have not been able to succeed, it was necessary to let the Denali's have a go, Esme knew that, but it still was not easy for either of us.

"The girl, she couldn't have been more than fifteen…" Esme murmured "an innocent child."

Tanya reached over and hugged Esme as we moved towards the couches and chairs.

"Emmett and Chris spent the fight working together as they normally do. We had most of the newborns destroyed, the wolves." I paused hesitating "did more than their share of the work and one of them even saved Chris when one of the newborns had him pinned. The girl… she was hiding throughout the entire battle, none of us even noticed her. Chris must have gotten to close to her hiding spot, because she bolted from it. I don't think she meant to run into him, she must have panicked and instinct took over, kill or be killed. Chris was able to calm her, convinces her to surrender."

"When she looked at him, her eyes told it all." Esme started "all she saw was him, she would panic when any of us blocked him from her view, she was so calm, he had saved her life he was her knight in shining armor."

"Her prince charming…" Tanya guessed and Esme nodded

"Very much so."

"He just wanted to protect her, that's all he was trying to do. Like she was his responsibility…" I added, pausing briefly "We knew she had to be completely subdued before Bella arrived, Chris allowed Jasper to use his knowledge of newborns to handle her. She panicked again when he separated her from Chris, but she must have realized Jasper's authority and submitted quickly."

"Rosalie suggested we bring the girl back to the house, before Bella came. But Chris insisted that she had to grow accustom to Bella's scent and Jasper agreed." Esme added as I continued

"We didn't see any danger in it, she had not been a danger to any of us and she was so focused on Chris and he on her that we didn't think there would be a problem. The Volturi would come, see that the army had been destroyed and that there was nothing left for them but to return to Volterra. Yes they would see that Bella is still human, but we could give them a date a set date." I paused and rubbed my temple "I should have separated them…If I had just let Jasper stand with the girl and kept Chris away from her, Jane wouldn…"

Esme reached over and took my hand

"It wouldn't have mattered friend." Eleazar said leaning close "it appears that Chris has inadvertently made an enemy of Jane and Alec. She would have seen the girl and would have reacted the same way, even if Chris showed no interest in the girl at all even if he had no feeling for the girl, Jane would not be able to see past that, she would see a girl about their age, see a potential mate for Chris and the end result would have been the same. Tanya was correct in what she said. Jane is set to cause Chris as much pain as she believes he has caused her by rejecting her feelings towards him. Jane has long lost that part of her humanity, the ability to recognize true love, what she believes is a connection to Chris is a projection. Aside from Alec, Chris is the only male vampire physically her age she has ever encounter on a personal level. She has realized what Chris knows and what Alec knows, the three of them are a rarity and therefore finding their other half, their true soul mate is not an easy task. How many other vampires Chris's age have you seen Carlisle? In your three hundred years how many?"

"Only three, Chris, Jane, and Alec, and two others I have only heard of, the young ones who Siobhan created, two girls, about Chris' age. But I have not spoken with Siobhan and Liam in many years."

"Chris has two problems working against him here," Tanya spoke up "Jane feels that if she were to lose Chris to his true soul mate, she may never find hers, Alec feels that if Chris accepts his sister, then he will lose her in that regards. Both have taken issue with Chris and it was unfortunately only a matter of time before it came to light."

I rubbed my chin sighing. This was my fault. Aro had insisted I bring Chris to the Volturi, I gave in and brought him, putting my son in this situation. If I hadn't put Chris in this, Jane wouldn't have reason to hate him.

Esme reached over and took my hand, shaking her head. My wife knows me better than anyone she knew what was on my mind.

"Carlisle, Esme," Eleazar spoke up "you are family and I apologize for us not being there when you needed us. You have always been there for us. But we promise, Jane and Alec will not hurt Chris again, we are all here to protect him and you."

We nodded, thankful for our friends. We both looked towards the stairs, hoping that soon…however long it took, we would have our son back. We both missed him so much.

Xxx

Carmen helped me over to a window seat in their guest room. Its always been one of my favorite spots in the Denali house, it's a perfect view of the mountains and sometimes, on a really clear night I can see the northern lights. Its always calmed me down, I've never known why, but I always feel comforted, at ease when I can just sit and watch the lights.

"Chris," Kate said, clearly not expecting an answer "Chris we're here, we want you to come back. I know you're in there and you're trying to come back, but only when you're ready. You have to decide when you're ready, but know that we're here for you."

Carmen brushed my hair back

"When Carlisle brought you here to meet us I was so excited for him and Esme. You bring a light to the family Chris and I don't know if you realize it, you bring humor, you bring childhood and adulthood to our lives all rolled into one being. A life that completes the family. Someday soon you'll find the one who completes you. Christian Usted encontrará que usted compañero del alma Primo pequeño. You will find your soul mate little cousin."

"I promise you Jane will not hurt you again, we won't let her Chris,"

I didn't answer her, not that they expected an answer, but Kate did give my hand a squeeze and Carmen kissed the top of my head. I was already starting to feel at ease, maybe it was the mountains or maybe it was just a change of scenery, but I could already feel myself fighting to come back, it was just going to take a while.

xxx

I stayed with the Denali's for a about a month, maybe a few weeks over, they did everything they could to break me out of my space out. I don't know how they did it, but they did. They brought me back nearly to myself again, it sounds odd, but even so, I wasn't the same person I had been in the hours leading up to the battle with the newborns. Somehow in that timeframe, I became a different person, I grew up a little I guess.

After the Volturi killed Bree, I had felt like nothing would ever feel happy again. It actually had very little to do with Bree's itself death surprisingly. I felt for her, we definitely had a connection and under different outcomes there would've been the potential for the protection I felt for her to move into more.

The depression was more connected with the realization that I was the cause of Bree's death, it showed that I was powerless to protect anyone, I was weak and had no control. I may be able to predict what could happen in the future, but I wasn't able to stop it when it really counted.

It also showed me that the world I've viewed as safe, well safe in the mindset of our family unit, nothing could really hurt us as long as we were together, well that wasn't entirely true.

Even with the fight with the newborns that feeling didn't waver, it wasn't until the Volturi Goon squad showed up, that's when two worlds literally collided and the world of the Volturi that had once scared me, but was on the other side of the world far from me, was now in my own backyard, and able to reach out and kill.

With Bree, I knew that had I not shown an interest in her, had I not stood my ground and protected her, Jane might have just let things go. I was the idiot, I got Bree killed, not only that I put my family at risk, they might have been killed just so Jane would have the satisfaction of watching me squirm.

Killing Bree had brought me down, both mentally and physically, Jane could only imagine what destroying my family would do to me, and if I've profiled Jane well enough, she's got a pretty damn good imagination.

By the time I was ready to go home, Tanya and the others were all in agreement that I was ready. I love the Denali clan, they're our family and I was grateful for all they did to help me out, but I was ready to go home, I missed my parents, my brothers and sisters, Bella, and Chap of course.

Carmen and Eleazar drove me home and stayed for a few hours visiting with the family, as well as recapping how I was doing. Most people would feel this was kind of invasive, but believe me it wasn't, everyone was concerned and everyone wanted reassurance that I was slowly returning to myself.

After hugs and a few kisses and thank you wishes to Eleazar and Carmen, I wandered up to my room. It hadn't changed which I was thankful for, but Chap was missing…I felt panic wash over me.

"Don't panic Chris," Alice's voice came from my doorway, I turned around quickly, she was standing there smiling at me, sitting on her shoulder gnawing on a sunflower seed was Chaplin.

"Chap," I said, his ears perked up and he scampered off of Alice's shoulder, down her body to the floor where he run up my leg and onto my shoulder "Aw buddy I missed you too,"

"I kept him in the family room that way he'd have company while you were gone, he missed you."

I gently rubbed Chap's head and walked over to my sister, hugging her tight, she hugged me back and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you Alice, I owe you,"

"You owe me nothing Chris, I missed you, we all did. I'm just glad you're back."

"Backish," I replied "may need a few more sessions on the couch before I'm back 100%" I added grinning, Alice reached over and hugged me again

"How are you feeling?" she asked, in a serious voice

"Better than I was Alice I promise."

"I'm sorry Chris,"

I raised an eyebrow and slid Chap back into his cage.

"For what?"

"I should have seen it coming Chris, warned you…I feel responsible for what happened and what happened afterwards."

I put a hand on my sister's arm and stopped her right there

"Alice, it wasn't your fault." I explained "none of it." I paused "I don't even blame myself anymore…" Alice looked at me expectantly "not entirely, there's still enough blame on me, but none on you or any of you for that matter, just on me."

"Chris, it wasn't your fault," I nodded but wasn't going to argue with my sister, it's safer that way. "can I tell you something?"

"Sure,"

Alice looked so defeated so hurt I didn't want her to tell me anything, it was clearly hurting her.

"Chris, before the Volturi came, I…" she sat down on my window seat and couldn't look at me. I sat down next to my sister timidly and put an arm around her shoulder

"Alice you don't have to,"

"Chris I saw Jane's decision, I knew nothing would change that, there was nothing I could do, nothing any of us could do. But I couldn't tell you, you looked so happy so content I've never seen you look that way and I didn't want to end that, even though I knew it was going to end. This was my fault Chris and I am so ashamed."

"Alice, please" I hugged her tight "please stop blaming yourself. Even if you did see what was going to happen you just said it yourself you couldn't stop it, I was an idiot to try and choose my own happiness over my family." I took a deep breath "and Jane was right, sorta."

"Chris no she was never right about anything."

"She was about one thing, Bree wasn't my one, I know that now, she might have been eventually, but the…whatcha call it, the moment you knew Jasper was the one."

"Chris that was a vision,"

"Yeah but it was a vision of Jasper, just like that moment Carlisle knew Esme was the one, the moment Edward knew Bella was the one. That kind of thing. What is it that you guys are always saying about each other? you knew it instantly. I didn't feel it with Bree. It was more of a…a protection I think, she was my physical age, she was brought into this life without her consent and something about that really hit a cord with me so what I thought was love was as Jane said a projection."

"Chris are you."

"I'm sure Alice, it took me an entire month to figure it out, but of everything that happened that night I am most certain of this stuff. I wanted to protect Bree, help her. Do what Carlisle…literally what being a part of a family did for me." I paused "it just wasn't mean to be and I know that know." I shrugged "anyways, seriously enough about my depression extravaganza. What's been going on around here? What have I missed?"

Alice smiled wide, she reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope. Inside was an invitation, for Bella and Edward's wedding. I knew they had been talking about it, and I knew that my brother had proposed before the battle.

"This is going to be so exciting!" Alice exclaimed and you know what the best part about it is?"

I looked at my sister carefully and I could read exactly what the 'best part' of it was, it was written all over her face and her body language.

"Bella made the amateur mistake and gave you full control over her wedding?" Alice's grin told it all, I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "She has no idea what she's in for huh?"

"Oh of course she knows and it won't be as bad as you think Christian."

I grinned

"Now are we talking Emmett and Rose's twentieth renewal/second wedding or their thirtieth?" Alice couldn't look me in the eyes as she rocked back and forth, trying to look innocent. "oh god…not their fiftieth! That was insane. Please don't tell me you're going that route." She still wouldn't answer me and I groaned, trying not to laugh, Bella was not going to like Alice's plan at all, in fact there was seriously a good chance our future sister was going to kill Alice. But on a positive note, it would be fun to sit back and watch the entire wedding event unfold, this was going to be hilarious nonetheless.

Alice hugged me once more

"glad you're home Chrissy, we really missed you." She kissed my cheek and skipped out of my room before I could answer her.

I looked over at Chaplin who was watching contently on my desk. He had moved from my shoulder at one point and was gnawing on a sunflower seed.

"Well, I see she fattened you up nicely, been spoiled Chap?" Chaplin looked up at me and squeaked a little before returning to his sunflower seed. I looked around my room again and sighed "definitely good to be home."